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20 Toxic, Harmful Bisexual Stereotypes We Need to Get Rid Of ASAP

Bisexuals are the B in LGBTQ. But how much do you really know about the bisexual community? The bisexual stereotypes aren’t always true.

bisexual stereotypes

Stereotypes are everywhere. Literally everywhere. There’s no community that runs short of stereotypes, especially the bisexual community. Now, some of you may be thinking: stereotypes must start from somewhere. And you’re right, some people might do specific things that fall within the stereotype of their community.

However, that doesn’t mean the entire community is like that! Stereotyping can be dangerous, and have a real impact on the mental and physical health of bisexual people.

However, if we can all educate ourselves and learn how to challenge harmful ideas about different communities, we can make this world a much kinder place.

[Read: Understanding the different types of sexual orientation]

What is bisexuality?

Most people understand the concept of homosexuality. It’s simple: sexual attraction to people of the same sex as you.

Yet when it comes to bisexuality, confusion reigns. People can’t comprehend what it means exactly. Is it attraction to both sexes at the same time? One more than the other? Or is it “the same” as being gay?

Let’s set the facts straight to start. Sexuality runs on a spectrum. On both extremes, you have heterosexuality and homosexuality.

But in the middle, there are thousands of different sexualities and identities. It’s not so black and white. [Read: Sexually fluid – what it means, how it feels, and how to make sense of it]

Bisexuality falls within the spectrum and closes the gap between homosexuality and heterosexuality. Bisexual people feel attraction towards people of the same sex, and people of the opposite sex.

They can feel attraction towards men, women, both, or neither at different times. They might have gay relationships, and they might have straight relationships too.

Bisexual people can also identify as any gender themselves. But no matter who they’re dating, or what gender they’re presenting, they’re still bisexual—and their identity deserves respect. [Read: Are you bisexual? How to understand your true desires]

If you yourself are bisexual, remember this: you are not alone. There are many other people out there who feel the same way you do. You are valid, and you are part of a vibrant, diverse, and beautiful community.

Bisexual stereotypes: true or false?

So, you know the definition of bisexuality. But what about those bisexual stereotypes?

There are many weird ideas floating around about bisexual people, and only some of them are true! To gain a better understanding, here are some common bisexual stereotypes.

Big disclaimer here—just because we’re listing these stereotypes, doesn’t mean we believe them!

Some of these ideas are very hurtful and harmful to the bisexual community. We’re only repeating those nasty ideas so we can disprove them once and for all.

Ugh, when will stereotypes die already?

1. Bisexuals are going through a phase

Bisexual people just can’t decide, right? Nope.

OK, yes, some gay and lesbian people do identify as bisexual as a stepping stone on their way to coming out.

Bisexuality is a way for them to enter the LGBTQ community, while they get ready to embrace their sexuality fully. However, that’s not everybody’s journey.

Although there are some people who identify as bisexual until they figure out their orientation, others strongly identify as bisexual forever. In fact, for most people, bisexuality is not a phase. It’s a valid, legitimate identity that you can carry proudly for your whole life.

2. Bisexuals are selfish people

Bisexuals must be greedy, right? They just want everything. Because they “can’t decide” on a gender, they’ll take them all.

No, it doesn’t work like that! Being bisexual doesn’t make people feel the need to “take over” and have as many partners as possible of either gender.

[Read: What does sexual attraction feel like? 15 hot signs to recognize it]

Biphobia is called a “phobia” for a reason. Some people are insecure and feel threatened by an out-and-proud bisexual owning their sexuality. But don’t listen to their fears. It’s not greedy to be bisexual, and you have a right to like as few or as many people as you wish. There’s no guarantee they’ll like you back, anyway!

3. They don’t exist

Some strange people say that they don’t believe bisexual people exist. You’re either one or the other, gay or straight. However, that’s extremely black-and-white thinking to apply to sexuality. Unicorns and fairies “don’t exist”—but bisexuals are definitely real!

Although it’s a known scientific fact for almost 100 years, many people struggle with believing that you can be on a spectrum of sexuality. However, the sexual spectrum does exist. And there are people who sit at every point on the scale. [Read: 110 must-know interesting sex facts, myths, and strange secrets about sex]

4. Bisexuality spreads STDs

Yes, men who have sex with men *or MSMs* are at a higher risk of contracting STDs. This includes conditions such as HIV, gonorrhea, and herpes. However, this doesn’t mean bisexual men are more likely to spread diseases. Anyone who has sex can get an STD!

It’s important that you know the truth about STDs; if you believe misinformation, you might put yourself at risk. So, whether you’re straight, gay, or bisexual, it’s your responsibility to take the right steps in order to have safe sex. This means wearing protection and using contraception.

5. Bisexuals are cheaters

If you like both men and women, then you must want to date both at once, right? Wrong. This is one bisexual stereotype that not only has no truth behind it but also attempts to destroy the character of every bisexual person.

A cheater is a cheater. Shockingly, they exist in every community, regardless of sexual orientation. [Read: What is considered cheating? The painful types and ways to set boundaries]

Of course, if someone feels attraction to more than one gender, this opens up their options to a wider range of eligible partners. But that doesn’t increase the likelihood that they’ll cheat.

6. They are polyamorous

Anybody can be polyamorous, bisexual or not. In fact, polyamory is its own identity! Whether you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community or heterosexual, you can identify as polyamorous or form a polyamorous relationship.

Sure, there might be more LGBTQ+ people in poly relationships. However, that’s simply because they’re more open to alternative sexualities.

Also, just because somebody is in a poly relationship that includes somebody of the same sex, doesn’t mean they identify as bisexual.

7. The bisexual community is small

It’s actually not as small as you think. Worldwide, studies show an average of 9% of people identify as LGBTQ+, and 4% identify as bisexual. That’s the largest group in the LGBTQ+ community! So, the bisexual community is really very large.

However, there are probably more bisexual people than the statistics say. Since not everyone can come out, the number is probably much higher.

Plus, even though they’re the largest group, the bisexual community isn’t as vocal as other LGBTQ+ members, because of the stigma and the stereotypes surrounding them.

8. Bisexuals are commitment-phobes

Of course, if you like both genders then it must be because you’re scared to commit to one. Actually, news flash: your sexual orientation doesn’t have anything to do with your commitment issues!

Any commitment issues anyone has are not because of their sexuality, but trauma related to past experiences.

Bisexuals don’t date both genders because they’re afraid to commit to one. They genuinely feel attraction to them, and that doesn’t mean they’ll be less able to commit. [Read: Fear of commitment – 47 signs, whys, and ways to get over your phobia]

9. Bisexuals are confused

It’s the same old silly story. “They don’t know what they want, so instead of figuring out their sexuality, they say they’re bisexual.” It’s easier that way, right? Wrong. Many people think bisexual people are confused. But that’s just not the case.

Lots of people experiment with same-sex relationships while they’re figuring out their identity. However, that doesn’t mean they’re bisexual—or that all bisexuals are still in their experimentation phase.

Listen, if someone comes out as bisexual, they’re not confused. They simply feel attraction to multiple genders. [Read: Heteroflexible – what it is, and how it’s different from bisexuality]

10. All women are bisexual

Ah yes, apparently all women are bisexual. But listen, this is just because the mainstream media loves to sexualize women for marketing purposes. Just because Madonna and Britney made out, doesn’t mean all women are bisexual. Remember, they’re called ratings. Ratings make money.

Also, just because it seems like more women are coming out as bisexual, doesn’t mean there aren’t just as many bisexual men. Male bisexuals face a lot more stigma than their female counterparts. So they’re much more likely to stay in the closet.

[Read: Dating a bisexual guy – 20 things you must know before and while dating him]

 11. All they want are threesomes

This tends to be a very common stereotype, even flowing into the lesbian scene. Apparently, if you’re not straight, you want a threesome.

It’s especially bad on dating apps if you’re a bisexual girl. There’s no shortage of couples popping up in your DMs to ask if you’ll be their “unicorn“—ugh!

But bisexuality doesn’t mean all you want is a threesome. Threesomes are a sexual option that’s available for everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation. Sometimes, a threesome might not even involve any same-sex action at all! [Read: The real answers to dumb questions people ask lesbians]

12. They’re only attracted to binary genders

Here’s the thing. Bisexual individuals are attracted *romantically or sexually* to people of more than one gender/sex. Yet this isn’t the same for every bisexual.

Some people may be attracted to one gender more than the other. Some may be attracted to non-binary, androgynous, or trans people.

But the point is, bisexual individuals are not only attracted to binary genders. It’s more than just an attraction to both “men” and “women”—it’s an attraction to more than one group. However, if you’re attracted to every gender, there’s a possibility you might be pansexual, and not bisexual.

13. They’re not looking for anything serious

Why would being attracted to more than one gender change what you want from a relationship? This is another one of those bisexual stereotypes that paint bisexual people as greedy or non-committal. Just because you like both sexes doesn’t mean you won’t be able to stay in a committed relationship with just one.

Bisexual people get married all the time, to both straight and gay partners. Sometimes, they even marry other bisexuals! Clearly, being bisexual doesn’t mean you don’t want anything serious.

14. Bisexual people are “promiscuous”

It seems like society just can’t stop sexualizing bisexuals. They’re not some kind of sexual superheroes!

Having a wider pool of potential partners doesn’t mean they have to get it on with all of them. If you’re bisexual, you’re going to be just as selective about who you sleep with as a straight person.

Of course, you might not be selective at all. But that’s not just because you’re bi. A bisexual person who sleeps around is doing that because it’s their choice, not because they’re bisexual. If that’s what you like to dov—cool! You do you! [Read: Demisexual – what is it, 21 demisexual signs, and how to connect with one]

15. Bisexual people are just “pretending”

Sometimes, people won’t believe that somebody’s actually bisexual. They’ll say that bisexual people aren’t really same-sex attracted, and they’re doing it for attention, or to seem “special.” But these views are total nonsense.

Bisexual women are often perceived as straight, and bisexual men are often assumed to be gay.

This is maybe because our patriarchal society can’t see why somebody wouldn’t be attracted to men. However, bisexuality is real. And bisexual people are not making it up, pretending, or attention-seeking.

16. Bisexual people are equally attracted to each gender

If you’re attracted to more than one gender, you’re going to feel the same way about both, right? Wrong again! The attraction a bisexual person feels for each gender they like might not be the same, in strength or nature.

Some bisexuals feel a different ratio of attraction: such as 60% towards men, or 40% towards women.

They might even experience attraction in different ways according to the person’s gender, too; they might prefer to have sex with one gender, and then date the other. So even if you feel differently about different genders, that doesn’t make you any less bisexual.

[Read: Aceflux and Aroflux – what they are, and how romance and sex play a big part]

17. Bisexuality makes you a badass

You’re probably a badass anyway, so your sexuality is pretty irrelevant. However, it seems like every bisexual character in TV and movies is some kind of invulnerable, wise-cracking badass.

Whether it’s Deadpool, Ramona Flowers, or Rue from Euphoria, they’re always either being a sexy hot mess or kicking people in the face.

Yet most bisexuals are regular people, not sassy movie characters. They’re sexy, cool, and badass in their own unique ways. Being bisexual doesn’t give you a certain set of personality traits.

You’re just as likely to be a sweet, shy person who loves to read. But will they ever show that character in the movies? Probably not.

18. Bisexual people don’t need to ‘come out’

This is an example of the harmful bisexual stereotypes that can come from within the LGBTQ+ community.

It’s sad, but bisexuals are sometimes treated as less valid because they can “blend in”—in other words, they can just date a person of the opposite sex and pretend to be straight.

[Read: How to tell if a woman is attracted to another girl]

However, this is totally untrue. Even if a bisexual person is in a straight relationship, they’re not straight. They can’t stop themselves from feeling attraction when a hot person of the same sex walks by. Pretending to be something you’re not is unbearable, so bi people need to come out just as much as anybody else.

How do negative bisexual stereotypes affect people?

We’ve used the word “biphobia” in this feature. If you don’t know the definition, it’s a type of homophobia that’s specifically targeted toward bisexual people.

It’s a hatred and prejudice towards those who identify as bisexual or are perceived as being in the bisexual community.

The biggest consequence of negative bisexual stereotypes is biphobia. Harmful ideas give bisexual people a bad image and encourage others to treat them badly or discriminate against them.

Plus, the more biphobic people there are out there, the more these stereotypes spread. So it becomes a self-fulfilling cycle.

However, we can break that cycle by breaking down bisexual stereotypes and understanding the negative effects they have on bisexual people.

Now you’ve armed yourself with the facts, you need to understand the impact stereotypes have. Then you’re totally equipped to fight them.

1. Violence and abuse

Statistically, bisexuals are one of the groups that are most likely to suffer violence and abuse. In one study, over 10% of bi women reported being subject to abuse, compared to 8% of lesbians, and 6% of straight women. Plus, American research shows that over 75% of bisexual women have suffered sexual harassment or rape.

Negative bisexual stereotypes make bi people even more likely to suffer violence and abuse. This is because the ideas that these stereotypes push—that bi people are hypersexual or false—encourage others to objectify and harm them.

So, if you are part of spreading these stereotypes around, you could be making life much more dangerous for bisexual people.

2. The mental impact

The misunderstandings and bad perceptions that come from negative stereotypes have a serious, measurable effect on bisexual people’s mental health. [Read: Why we need to break down the stigma of mental illness]

LGBTQ+ people are already at a higher risk of depression and self-harm due to society’s stigma. However, bisexual people even face invalidating stereotypes from other LGBTQ+ people.

Negative stereotypes are always hard to face, but they’re even more dramatic when they come from those who are supposed to support you. That’s why the rates of suicide, self-harm, and poor mental health are even higher for bisexual people.

[Read: 51 enlightening and gripping films about sexuality]

Bisexual stereotypes are everywhere, and they’re seriously misleading. So make sure you don’t fall into believing them. Whether you’re straight or part of the LGBTQ+ community, we should all be bisexual allies!

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...