In a new relationship and feel all warm and fuzzy inside? New relationship feelings are great! But, don’t forget you need new relationship boundaries too.
New relationships are always special and exciting. Naturally, you’re not thinking about putting up walls and setting new relationship boundaries. If anything, you don’t want any boundaries between you and your new partner!
When you’re busy feeling butterflies, anything your partner does is adorable and charming. But sooner or later you’re going to have to set up boundaries. So, it’s better to set them up in the beginning, that way, you can both ease into them. Why surprise your partner halfway through your relationship? It’s better to get it over with in the beginning. [Read: A checklist for a happy and healthy new relationship]
New relationship boundary rules
Boundaries are also a great way to see if you and your partner are even on the same page. Maybe you aren’t as compatible as you think. But what kind of boundaries do you need to set in your new relationship? You probably haven’t thought about it yet, but it’s time you did.
If you’re wondering what boundaries you need to set in your new relationship, well, good thing you’re reading this article. I’m going to talk about all the new relationship boundaries you should set early on in your new relationship. It’s time to understand the rules that matter.
#1 How do you communicate? If you want this relationship to work, you both need to be clear on how you communicate. You may not be into texting, but that doesn’t mean you partner knows that. It’s important to let them know how you usually communicate. That way, they’re not offended when you send them short texts.
#2 Time for yourself. Everyone likes their own personal space. Just because you have a new partner doesn’t mean you need to spend every waking moment with them. How much time do you need for yourself?
It doesn’t have to be a serious conversation but it’s certainly something you need to casually discuss. Some people need more time to themselves while others don’t. [Read: How to be a better partner to an introvert]
#3 What type of relationship are you looking for? This seems to be an issue for many couples. One person just wants a casual relationship while the other one is looking for something more serious. Now, your commitment level is your decision, but you need to express your level commitment for the relationship. If not, you’re going to have some serious drama and heartbreak happening in your relationship.
#4 Your actions on social media. You know, when I first dated my boyfriend, I didn’t post any photos of us. I didn’t know that this bothered him, but it did. We all know how influential social media has become in our lives. So, it’s important to talk about social media and how they feel about it. [Read: The happy couple’s guide to social media etiquette]
#5 How do you want to spend your dates? Though your first couple of dates may be wild, in reality, once you’re in a long-term relationship, your dates are ordinary. You and your new partner need to come to an agreement on how you wish to spend time together.
You may enjoy watching movies all weekend, but your partner may enjoy going for walks. You have to find a happy medium.
#6 What you will share. I know you just started dating but when it comes to sharing things, this is when it can become a little tricky. You need to lay down these boundaries early on in the relationship. Do you want your partner to know your passwords to all of your devices? Do you believe in splitting the bill?
When it comes to personal privacy, finances, and new relationship boundaries, these are always questions that arise sooner or later.
#7 What is your stance on intimacy? We all know how important intimacy is in a relationship and it will come up in conversation. This is something you need to address as soon as possible.
Maybe you’re not into PDA, or you want to wait several months before having sex. These are things your partner needs to know. Whether you prefer to be intimate early in the relationship or to hold off is your decision, but you both need to be on the same page.
#8 Your view of your future. You don’t know where your future will take you or how it will look but you have an idea of how you’d like your future to look. Maybe you want children, maybe you don’t, maybe you want to spend your life traveling. Though this relationship may be fresh, who knows if this will end up as something long-term or not. But if you want kids and they don’t, this is will be a problem later on. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility instantly]
#9 What won’t you do? Yeah, this is important. You’re going to need to lay out what you will and what you won’t do for them. I know this sounds harsh, but let’s be honest, you have boundaries and so do they. Now, it doesn’t have to be big dos and don’ts but they need to be expressed regardless of size.
#10 How you handle fights. Who thought this would have to be a boundary to discuss, but it’s essential. How you handle disagreements can make or break your relationship. Maybe you’re someone who needs space after an argument or you’re someone who needs to solve the problem right away. How are you as a person when you fight?
#11 Your sexual expression. Everyone is sexually different. Some may prefer submissive sex or having sex in the afternoon while others prefer slow and sensual sex. Neither is bad or wrong, they’re simply preferences.
#12 Don’t be afraid to ask again. You need these boundaries clarified. Now, if you’re unsure about their answer, don’t be afraid to ask again for clarification. This is your life, and you need to take control of it. If you’re not sure with how they feel about a specific topic, then ask them about it. That way, you know right away and no one can point the finger at you.
When you’re in a new relationship, it’s fresh and exciting. But like with any seasoned relationship, there needs to be healthy new relationship boundaries to set the perfect foundation for a happy romance.
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A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...