When you first meet someone, it’s hard to differentiate between love and lost. Both emotions are super-strong! It’s also hard to hold yourself back from telling them how you feel. The problem is, saying ‘I love you’ too soon is the wrong start for any relationship.
How soon is too soon?
When is the right time to say ‘I love you’?
And why is it better to wait a while instead of blurting it right out when you feel like it? [Read: New love: Should you say “I love you” first or wait to hear it?]
The issue lies in the fact that there is no hard and fast rule to adhere to. Some people fall in love quickly, tell their partner how they feel and it all goes wonderfully well. However, others utter those words and then everything falls apart. Not everyone moves at the same pace. You also have the fact that you might be someone who moves quickly and you’re with someone who’s a little scared of commitment and wants to go slowly.
Can you see why this is such a huge issue? [Read: When should you say ‘I love you’ for the first time?]
You might be reading that heading and thinking that we’re just super-negative. The thing is, when you fall in love, it all comes down to chemicals and hormones! You can’t always trust the sensations you’re experiencing at the start because everything seems so exciting. You’re literally walking around with your head in the clouds.
The bottom line is that love always takes time. It has to evolve naturally as you get to know one another. When you first meet, you’re on your best behavior and so are they. You don’t know their negative traits – everyone has them! how can you know that you really love someone when you don’t actually know them that well?
You may be madly infatuated by someone you’ve met on a date once, or you may think you’re in love after your first kiss. But it’s not really love at all. It’s just the first of several stages in that mushy thing called love. [Read: The 9 relationship stages all couples go through]
What makes falling in love with each other so magical is the tension and the confusion. It’s the insecurities and those stolen moments of passion that build as two people start wooing each other.
But if you do say ‘I love you’ before you and your new date can feel the excitement of actually falling for each other, you could ruin the happy moment. You could turn it into something far more serious before both of you have even had the time to evaluate the potential relationship. You need to be ready – both of you! [Read: 5 Things you need to know about your first love]
Many people think that it’s never wrong to say ‘I love you’ too soon. After all, if you feel it, you feel it. What’s the point in hiding your feelings for someone? That’s certainly true in many ways.
At times, revealing your love for someone may be the best thing you could do, especially if they love you back already. But what happens if you’re dating someone who’s still evaluating you as long-term partner potential?
If you rush it by professing your love for someone who’s still not ready to love you, you may end up losing the relationship. You might have been perfect for one another, but now you’ll never know. So if you can hold off a while, it’s always better to wait, rather than rushing into something and potentially ruining it. [Read: 10 different ways to say ‘I love you’ without saying a word]
If you truly love someone, or are waiting to say ‘I love you’ for the first time, keep these 10 reasons in mind and test your own potential relationship. At the end of the day, you know your own heart and mind. We can’t tell you what to do versus what not to do, but we can advise.
So, if you feel like you stand a good chance and are not rushing into love even after reading these tips, then go right ahead and say those three magical words to the one you love!
The excitement of playing hard to get with each other is what makes falling in love so much fun. Both of you like each other a lot, can’t stop touching each other and feel so good inside every time both of you meet. You’re not in a relationship yet, but both of you are falling hard for each other already.
If you say ‘I love you’ too soon, the excitement of wondering what’s on each other’s minds would end overnight. It’s not a bad thing, but a longer courting almost always gives a better chance for a longer relationship because both of you waited before taking the plunge. [Read: New relationship advice to have a perfect start in love]
Some people are obsessive lovers. They jump into a new relationship with someone as soon as one relationship ends because they can’t stay single. They love being in love, and need love to feel complete. These kinds of lovers end up saying ‘I love you’ even without realizing whether they’re really in love with their date.
And as you meet your date often over time, instead of trying to build the love, you may spend many of your dates trying to convince yourself that you’ve actually met the one!
If you say ‘I love you’ and your date doesn’t respond with the same sentence, it makes the whole relationship go backwards. It’ll leave one of you confused and the other angry.
And that builds insecurities and fills the air with a lot of awkwardness. Unless you’re completely smitten by this person you’re dating and don’t care whether they love you back or not, avoid saying it too soon. [Read: 10 perfect ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend]
If you say something as serious as ‘I love you’ very early into the relationship, your date may think you’re not really in love with them, but are just saying it to please them. That’s really the worst thing, because your three magical words have just lost all meaning to your date.
People get infatuated by each other at first sight. They don’t fall in love! If you really need to love someone, you need to love them for who they are. So what do you know about your date? Do you know about their exes, how many relationships they’ve been in, about their likes and dislikes and the kind of person they are? Always make sure you actually like the real person you’re dating for their personality before professing your love to them. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility]
Ask yourself this question sincerely, are you saying ‘I love you’ to this special person just to cover your insecurities? Some smitten lovers say those words just to beat any competition out of the way, or arm-twist the one they’re dating so they can feel more secure about the relationship or push away anyone else who’s threatening the relationship. If you have to profess your love, do it for the right reasons.
If one of you says ‘I love you’ too soon, and the other person accepts and responds with the same line without really thinking, one or both of you may feel stuck in the relationship because it all happened so fast.
If you say it too soon, your lover may even get angry with you if they jumped in too fast and reciprocated by saying that they loved you too. And instead of focusing on love, your new partner may have to spend all their time wondering if they really need to be in a serious relationship with you. Would you like that? [Read: 30 super sexy ways to keep a guy interested]
Once you say it, the secret’s out in the open for you and your date to see. And you can’t take your words back again. What if your date just wants a casual relationship with you and doesn’t want anything serious just yet? They may really love you, but they may still be unsure about doing anything about it.
And remember, there’s no going back once you say it. If your date’s uncertain about the future of the romance, saying ‘I love you’ will force them to think about it. And the extra pressure on deciding immediately may just force your date into turning you down or walking away if they’re not ready to be held down in a serious romance.
If you really want to say ‘I love you’ and hear it back from your date, then learn to play it safe. Instead of saying ‘I love you’, prove your love through actions. Don’t say how much you love your date, but show it through your romantic gestures. If your date loves you, they’ll reciprocate with happiness. But if they aren’t looking for something serious, they’d seem uncomfortable with your affection. [Read: How to prove that you love someone the right way]
You’ll know if your date feels the same if they go out of their way to do something for you too. After you smother your date with romance, wait and watch their response. If your date really loves you, they’d start indulging in little romantic gestures like buying you gifts or going out of their way to do something nice for you. [Read: 10 types of love you’ll experience in your lifetime]
If that happens, yeah, your date loves you. On the other hand, if your date doesn’t respond in kind, perhaps they just need more time to fall for you.
Express your love when you believe you’re truly in at that point. But at the same time, be certain that your date is ready to hear it. [Read: 7 dirty and naughty texting games for new couples]
To some, this may seem like it’s all too fast. And to many others, it may seem like a lot of waiting. But 1-3 months into dating each other is the so-called perfect time to express your love for someone special. The infatuation will have peaked and led to something a lot more beautiful. There is a big chances it could be the big L! [Read: Cute and romantic ways to tell someone that you love them]
Of course, If you wait too long, your new date may get bored or wonder if the relationship’s going anywhere. If you say it too soon, you may ruin your relationship because of all the added pressure and the confusion.
At the end of the day, only you can decide. Simply make sure that you’re not becoming too caught up with the dizziness of those heady first few weeks. It’s always better to wait just a little while and be sure, than to rush in and make a big mistake you can’t take back.
[Read: How to fall in love like you’re in a fairytale]
If you want the experience to seem like a fairytale romance, take your time while saying ‘I love you’ and read the signs. Keep an eye on the budding relationship and take the plunge when you feel like love’s all around in the air.
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