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One Month Anniversary: 15 Things Couples Learn in 30 Days

So, you’ve hit that mark… Happy one month anniversary! What a big step! But, what does that really mean? What happens now?

one month anniversary

Happy one month anniversary! I hope the last 30 days have been as amazing as this day makes it seem.

There is a lot talked about in the honeymoon period of a relationship–that first six months to a year when romance is blossoming at its fullest. And you are right in the midst of it. You can’t keep your hands off each other, and you may have not even fought yet.

Not to kill the vibe, but after this exciting time, there is a cool-down period. At this point, the couple may change their approach to the other, leading to disappointment, relationship strife, and possibly even separation.

Some people say this is when your true color shines through. You’ve stopped being on your best behavior and the real nitty-gritty parts of your personalities come out to play.

However, it’s not just the honeymoon period that sets up a period of potential cooling down. There is a period when first dating, perhaps for the first month, when each half of the dating couple is quite guarded about how they present themselves and their lives. [Read: The honeymoon phase- How long before your love fades?]

Before the one month anniversary

This period is quite a tactical one and is based upon mutual attraction only. The dating that occurs is almost like a game of chess, where each half of the couple attempts to present themselves in the best light whilst trying to pry any negative and/or unwanted behavior out of the other.

You may still be saying they are too good to be true at the one-month anniversary date. But there will come a point after a few weeks when each of you relaxes, the reality of the situation will become apparent.

This is when the perfect Adonis or Aphrodite image goes out the window, and you realize you are dealing with a normal human being in a very normal relationship. So, what realizations occur during this time? [Read: 16 phases of the relationship timeline]

10 things you’ve learned by your one month anniversary

Below are some of the most common things people in relationships learn about their significant other by their one month anniversary, whether it’s traits that they adore or reasons to abandon ship.

1. They’re far from perfect

As we’ve already mentioned, a lot of image management goes on before your one month anniversary. Everyone wants to present themselves in the best possible light. They try to avoid letting any negative traits slip through.

However, once they start to relax, the real person becomes more apparent, and the realization may dawn that they aren’t quite the image of perfection you previously thought.

It could be something as insignificant as a bad personal habit, like poor table manners, or a penchant for biting their nails. It could be far more serious, such as overtly bigoted tendencies or a complete lack of regard for hygiene. Either way, their legend has–in your eyes, at least–been diminished.

2. Their friends are your friends

You might be very choosy about who you usually consider being friends with. Still, once the two of you get a little more comfortable together, you will start to encounter each other’s circle of acquaintances.

This could be a good thing if they are good people: erudite, fun, and supportive types. However, there are always those few idiots that your potential lifemate has chosen to take under their wing. And guess what? There’s nothing you can do about it, as you quickly realize that their friends are now your friends, too. Good luck! [Read: How to get your partner’s friends to like you]

3. They aren’t your type

You normally have a particular type, but it swiftly becomes apparent that they have managed their image to the point where there was no hint of the true them. That person you thought they were, quite simply, doesn’t exist. Your choice is to either give it a go and see if you can broaden your tastes or jump ship while you still can.

The first, second, and even third dates can give you an impression of someone you’re excited about. But by the time you hit the one month anniversary, you may realize everything you saw was a ruse.[Read: 5 most important signs of relationship compatibility]

4. They might NOT be the one

It’s easy to get carried away with your romantic inclinations during the first few weeks of dating. The immediate feelings of excitement can even convince you that they are the one. It doesn’t take long, though, for that impression to wear off, and, at around the one-month mark, you start to realize that they are actually just human.

Whether that encourages you to ditch them or not is entirely down to your way of doing things. Do you want to keep having fun? Maybe you think they’ll grow on you. It really comes down to whether you believe in romantic miracles or you’re the kind that perhaps prefers a bit of common sense and is willing to give them a try.

5. You might not be ready

This person you’ve met really does float your boat. They look great, dress great, hold conversations on any subject, but still like to have fun. You admire personal aspirations and goals. Yet, no matter how perfect they are, there is just something off. You can’t put your finger on it, but you know it isn’t right.

If you realize that you’d rather be out and about, partying with friends and leading a singleton’s lifestyle, maybe you should do them a courtesy and just let them go rather than lead them on. [Read: 16 signs you’re not ready for a serious relationship]

6. The sex needs some work

The first time you have sex with a new partner may not be all fireworks and moaning. It can actually be awkward. But once you have a few rolls between the bedsheets down and things still aren’t better, something needs to change.

At your one month anniversary, you shouldn’t be faking it. This is the time when sex is super exciting, and you’re learning a lot about each other’s bodies. If it is boring or unpleasant at this point, you either need an open dialogue or a way out. [Read: How to talk about sex without it getting awkward]

7. The family are not fans

You may not meet the parents this early on in a relationship, but if you have, you can tell if they like you or not. You may experience a certain amount of distrust and suspicion on their part. This is often the case in the early days, but there’s plenty of time to win them over. Realizing that your partner’s parents aren’t particularly keen on you is no reason to run; if they’re worth it, you’ll make an effort.

8. You have very different tastes

Maybe one of you is an adventurous eater of foreign delicacies, whereas the other prefers simple, home-cooked food. Perhaps you go to the cinema to watch a Stallone and Willis flick, whereas your partner is more of a Kurosawa and Fellini fan.

Whatever the subject, you realize that several *or many* of your tastes are entirely different. Now, opposites do attract, and different tastes shouldn’t tear you apart. So, try not to let this realization put you off. [Read: Do couples always have to like the same things?]

9. You’re still attracted to other people

This is quite hard to accept if you’ve convinced yourself that you’ve started dating your perfect person. But there can be no denying the fact–you still find that other people can quite easily catch your eye. This is only natural, and anyone who denies this particular realization probably isn’t telling the whole truth.

10. You’re in it for the wrong reasons

Sometimes, we hide the truth from ourselves, for whatever reason that may be. A prime example would be the case of starting a relationship on the rebound. At first, you may think that you’re in it for all the right reasons, but after those first few weeks, you slowly realize the truth–and this is a foundation that needs to be addressed.

Maybe you’ve been single for a while and have met someone you like and who likes you back, but you realized you’ve been dating them to fight loneliness, not because you’re really invested. Now is the time to cut things off before you get in even deeper than a one month anniversary. [Read: 9 reasons you’re still with the wrong partner]

11. Your nerves aren’t budging

Those nerves you get before the first few dates can be exciting, but it can be a real pain if they don’t go away. You want to get comfortable with the person you’re dating, but having butterflies, sweaty palms, and dry mouth isn’t cute.

Try to think about why this might be the case. Do you really like them that much, or does something feel off?

12. You complain about them

By the time you’ve been together a few weeks, you have probably spoken to your friends about the person you’re seeing. You told them how the dates have gone, if they’re a good kisser and where you see things going. But, if you have spent most of your time with friends complaining how the person you’re seeing doesn’t text back, cancels plans, or is controlling, that’s a major sign that your one month anniversary will be your last. [Read: 15 clues you should leave the relationship]

13. You’re happy

Sure, things can always change, but you know if this person is making you happy after a month together. Do you look forward to spending time with them? Or do you sigh a big breath of relief when you head home after a date?

After your one month anniversary, you shouldn’t have too many questions about this.

14. You know what you want

Do you want to keep dating? Do you want things to be more serious? Are you ready for a commitment? By the time you hit the one-month mark, you might have the answers to these questions. Now is the time to talk to your partner and see where they stand. [Read: Learn how to take control of your love life]

15. You are excited to celebrate your one month anniversary

It is your one month anniversary. You are either indifferent, annoyed, or happy. If you are glad you made it a month and feel excited for the next one, that is amazing. But, if you are surprised you made it this long, it may be time to cut your losses.

[Read: 10 relationship milestones and what they mean]

You may experience several realizations about your new partner after the one month anniversary rears its head. But, things can always change if they weren’t what you thought they’d be. Even the best relationships require hard work.

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...