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How to Be In a Relationship: 61 Rules & Tips to Get Into One & Start Happy

When you’re single, most people want to know how to get into a relationship. But you need to think about a lot of things if you want the right partner.

How to Be In a Relationship and start a good one

Most people think about what it would be like to have a significant other and how to get into a relationship. You know, someone to cuddle with and have late-night talks with – a partner.

Of course, some people think that having friends-with-benefits is easier than actually finding someone, but it’s not. 

In fact, having casual sex can just cause someone to be less open with others because they’re emotionally closed off. [Read: How does being friends-with-benefits actually work out?]

What to think about before you get into a relationship 

Finding someone to be in a relationship with isn’t necessarily hard. Finding someone you actually want to open up to and be with is the hard part.

If you want to be with someone, make sure that what you’re doing is the right thing. You won’t really find out until you do it. 

No one tells you in the beginning, but if you’re into someone right now and want to know how to get into a relationship, there are a couple of things you need to do. [Read: The 20 sure signs you’re ready for a relationship… or totally unprepared]

Don’t worry! It’s not as complicated as we like to think it is.

1. Know yourself

This is easier said than done, but it’s something that you need to focus on before getting into a relationship. Who are you?

Before getting into a relationship, you should have a good understanding of your emotions and sexuality. No one else is going to understand you the way you understand yourself. [Read: How to really get to know yourself and your passions]

Someone might bring out certain emotions in you, but at the end of the day, you’re alone with your thoughts.

2. Do you really want a relationship? 

Give yourself some time to think about whether or not a relationship is something you want right now. 

Are you willing to invest your time in someone else and spend your personal time with them? Don’t go into something because you feel that you must. [Read: How to define what monogamy really means]

3. Don’t just do it for sex

If you want to be in a relationship because of the sex, that’s not going to work. You need to want to be with them because you enjoy spending time with them and have an emotional connection with them. 

You don’t need to be in a relationship just for sex. Having sex with someone will not create the deep emotional connection you’re looking for. [Read: How to know if you’re feeling romantic attraction or something else]

4. What are your needs? 

If you want to have a happy and healthy relationship, you need to be true to yourself. Don’t jump into a relationship knowing that this person isn’t the one for you. 

Of course, being in a new relationship can blind you a bit from seeing your needs, but this is why you need to check in with yourself.

5. What are your deal-breakers? 

We all have deal-breakers, and it’s time for you to think about them. Do you want kids? Do you want to get married? How do you feel about family? [Read: Non-negotiables in a relationship you should never negotiate on] 

These are important topics that you need the answers to. If your partner doesn’t want to get married and you do, this may not be the relationship for you.

6. Look at dating differently

You may have a negative view of dating. Maybe you think it’s boring and a waste of time, but how do you think you’re going to meet someone without dating them first? How do you expect to get to know them?

You need to start changing the way you think about dating because your mindset isn’t getting you what you want right now.

You need to change. A person who is in a relationship doesn’t think the same as a single person. [Read: Dating checklist – how to make one and how it could benefit your life]

7. Make it a priority

If you’re really wanting a relationship, you’re going to have to invest time and energy in finding someone to be with. This means that you need to go on dates, go out, and talk to people. 

Make yourself available. This doesn’t mean you need to be desperate and constantly searching for love, but you need to change your lifestyle so that you can allow love to enter it. [Read: How to find love – understanding the secret law of attraction]

8. Don’t have unrealistically high expectations

This is where we have a tendency to mess up. After seeing countless romantic comedies, you have an expectation of how your partner should act and what they should be like. But life isn’t based on everything going smoothly. 

You may enter this relationship, and it might last a lifetime or a couple of months. When things aren’t going your way, you can’t always throw in the towel. [Read: Unrealistic expectations that can ruin your love life]

9. Human flaws are not red flags

There’s a huge difference between annoying personality traits and red flags. If this person chews with their mouth open, it doesn’t mean they’re abusive or disrespectful. 

If this person insults you on the first date or forces sex on you, however, those are red flags.

10. Remember that you’re not perfect, either

When we’re going on dates and meeting people of interest, it’s easy to pick out their flaws and highlight them. [Read: How to be a better person and grow into a kind human]

But remember that you’re not perfect either. You’re flawed just like the next person, so show some compassion towards other people.

11. Be yourself

Of course, you want to show them the best version of yourself, but it’s somewhat of a white lie. Be yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. 

If you don’t like spicy food, don’t pretend you like it. They’re going to find out the real you eventually. [Read: How to be yourself – 26 steps to unfake your life and love being you]

12. Be open about what you want

If you’re talking to someone you’re interested in and want a relationship with them, tell them. You need to be open about what you want. Maybe they only want something casual, but that’s not what you want.

You have to be firm with yourself in terms of achieving your goals. Right now, your goal is a relationship, not something casual. Don’t lower your needs.

13. Don’t look for a project

If you want to be in a healthy relationship, don’t look for someone to fix. It’s not going to work.

You shouldn’t try to find a person that you need to change in order to be in a relationship with them. [Read: Should I give up on him? 25 signs he won’t change or be a good fit]

14. Don’t throw yourself into the relationship

If you want to be in a relationship, the first thing you should do is focus on yourself. Don’t throw yourself into something without making sure your needs are met first. 

Practice self-care, and don’t be the person who gives up everything for a relationship.

15. It may take time for you to fall in love

Some people have immediate sparks with the person they meet, and other people take time. If you want to be in a relationship, leave time for a connection to develop and grow. [Read: Have you ever wondered why you can’t find love?]

If you’re enjoying your time with this person, continue to do so and see where it goes.

How to start a relationship the right way

Now that you know how to find a person to have a relationship with, you also need to think about how to start it the right way.

When you’re starting a relationship with someone, there are a lot of things going on in your mind. Do they like me? Can I see myself being with them in the long run? Are they the one? [Read: Why you should run if you see these early warning flags]

These are tough questions. They can make you feel a little anxious, which can make you feel unsure of what to do or blind you from seeing the red flags.

When we’re starting a relationship, everything is blissful and lovey-dovey. 

You’re on cloud nine and think that this love will last forever and ever. Now, that’s not to say it won’t last forever, but let’s not jump too far ahead. [Read: 33 most common dating deal-breakers for women every man must avoid]

1. This may not be the one

When getting into a relationship, don’t think about this person being the one. It’ll only create pressure and make you worry about something you don’t need to be concerned with. 

If you want to get into a relationship, the most important thing is that you have feelings for this person. [Read: How to find the one by changing the way you see things]

You can worry about the rest later on. For now, you’re just trying to get to know them.

2. Not all relationships are going to be serious ones

Don’t go into a relationship with the idea that it’s going to become a long-term one. You don’t know what’s going to happen. 

It’s best for you to be present with this person and enjoy the time you’re spending with them. You can’t tell the future, and neither can they. [Read: How to find love and learn to be open to all that life has to offer]

3. How does the relationship make you feel? 

Check in with yourself and see how this relationship is making you feel. 

Does this person bring out the best in you? Do you feel that you can be yourself around them? Does this person support you? 

Write down how you’re feeling so that you can reflect on things later on down the road. [Read: Should you lower your expectations to find love?]

4. Ease into things

If you’ve never been in a relationship and you jump into one with someone you’ve only been on one date with, things will be hard. You have to move slowly. If you don’t, you could end up really freaked out by the commitment.

Explain this to them, and just take it easy. People are a lot more understanding with someone who’s never been in a fully committed relationship. 

Talk it out and keep things moving at a slower pace for a bit. [Read: How to take it slow and set yourself up for success]

If you have had a relationship before but not for a while, you may get a little excited and rush through the process. There’s no need to rush through anything in this case, either. Take your time and go at a pace that’s comfortable for you. If you’re not ready to be in a relationship, that’s okay. [Read: How fast is too fast in a relationship – your guide to perfect timings]

5. Get to know that person fully

This kind of goes hand-in-hand with taking things slow. You really want to be certain that the person you’re entering into a relationship with is the right person. 

Take your time, and get to know them on a deeper level before committing. This helps you to be certain and less afraid when you finally do.

6. Be honest with what you want

If you want a long-term relationship, tell your partner that! Don’t stick around and hope they’ll change their mind. This is only going to hurt you in the end. [Read: Define the relationship – 20 signs it’s time to DTR already and how to do it]

Be honest with what you want, and make sure that they understand what you’re looking for. If they don’t want to commit, that’s fine. You just saved yourself a lot of wasted time.

7. Don’t let them pressure you

This is the worst way to enter into a real relationship. You can’t let them give you an ultimatum or force you to do something. If anything, they should be far more understanding of your situation.

Learning how to be in a relationship for the first time isn’t a quick process. Pressuring you into it will only lead to a fear of commitment on your end. Don’t let it happen. [Read: 18 emotions you should never feel in a relationship]

8. When you do commit, mean it

This is extremely important. Only you know when you’re ready, and if you commit even though you don’t actually want to, it’ll end in horror. 

If you can’t be faithful or don’t want to be, then don’t lie and say you’ll commit. Just be honest, and save you both the hassle of heartache. [Read: Hard challenges of being in a committed relationship]

9. Remember that it’s a partnership first

This is teamwork. It’s not about you just trying to get by with someone else. You’re in this together, which means that if you’re struggling, they’ll help pick up the slack and vice versa. 

You are a team and a partnership. Remember that you’re not in this alone. [Read: 16 signs you’re just not ready for a serious relationship]

10. Don’t rush into bed

Sure, this sounds old-fashioned. If you want to have sex with someone on the first date, you can. No one is stopping you. 

But decide to have sex when you feel comfortable, not because your partner wants it. Take your time and do what feels right for you.

11. Talk about sex

If you’re going to have sex with them, you should feel comfortable talking about it. Bring up the conversation of safe sex and STIs. [Read: How to avoid getting STDs]

You don’t need to talk about it right away, but it’s something to talk about before being intimate. When you’re both comfortable, bring it up.

12. It’s time to listen

It’s always time to listen, but since you’re trying to figure out how to start a relationship the right way, really pay attention to your partner. Don’t get distracted by passion and romance.

Focus on what your partner is saying and whether or not you two truly fit together. Romance is amazing, but it fades with time, and reality kicks in. [Read: Stages of a new relationship to define your budding romance]

13. Be vulnerable

A lot of people think they are open books, but when they get into a relationship, they realize that they are actually closed off. If you want a relationship, you’re going to have to be vulnerable with that person. 

The only way to create intimacy and a deep connection is through vulnerability. This means that you need to take down those walls of defense. They’re not helping anyone. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship and grow closer instantly]

14. Accept the downs

Of course, in the beginning, everything is beautiful and amazing. When you’re in a relationship, you get to see the entire picture of your partner. They’re going to have flaws just like you. 

If you really don’t like the flaws and can’t handle them, then they’re not for you. But if these are flaws that you can accept, just accept them. They’re not going anywhere.

15. You’re going to have to compromise

Once you’re in a relationship, you’ll understand. You’re going to have to compromise. [Read: How to resolve conflict – the 15 best ways to cut out the drama]

Yes, you want to go out with your friends tonight, but your partner got a promotion and wants to celebrate, so you’ll have to see your friends tomorrow.

You have to start looking at these small things because they matter. It’s not just about you anymore. [Read: Compromise in relationships and ways to give without losing]

16. Deal with your baggage

We all have our own personal baggage from the past, but if you really want a relationship to work, you’re going to have to start digging through the past and throwing out some unwanted baggage. 

It’s going to be hard, but you don’t want your past to influence your relationship.

If your ex-partner cheated on you, it doesn’t mean that your new partner will. [Read: How to deal with guilt and drop the baggage weighing you down]

Whatever you need to do, whether it’s therapy or journaling, do it.

17. Don’t forget about you 

Getting into a relationship has the ability to completely distract us from ourselves. Suddenly, your life is all about them. The fact is, that’s not what a relationship is about.

If you want to get into a relationship, you need to respect and love yourself first. This means that you shouldn’t be running after them like a dog. [Read: These signs say you are spending too much time together]

Make sure your boundaries are not crossed and that you have time for yourself.

18. Meet their friends

If you want to know who they are, meet their friends. Who they hang out with can tell you a lot about who they are as people. 

Have your partner meet your friends, as well. They’re not blinded by love, so they’ll give you the feedback you need, whether you like it or not. [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for successful love]

19. Keep your independence

You should make sure that you don’t get sucked into the relationship. Of course, falling in love is amazing, but you also have friends and family to see. 

It’s common for people to “disappear” once they’re in a relationship. Stay true to yourself, keep up with your hobbies, and see the people you love. [Read: New relationship boundaries – lines all couples must draw early on]

20. Be honest about your past

If you’ve cheated or been cheated on, talk about it with your partner. We all have pasts, and this is something you shouldn’t hide. 

We all make mistakes, but it doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of love. Opening up to your partner will help you see if they’re someone who’s good for you. [Read: 20 questions to ask your lover and answer, too]

21. Don’t cheat

Once you’re in a relationship, that’s it. You’re in it, and you can never slip up and be unfaithful. Doing so will only bring hardships down on both of you and probably end the relationship.

Always be loyal. It’s not hard if you actually want to be with that person. A relationship is more meaningful than you probably realize at this point, and loyalty is at the core.

22. Communicate as much as you can

If there’s one thing you take away from this, it should be that relationships require communication. You have to talk to each other about what’s working and what’s not in order for it to succeed. [Read: Steps to better communicate in a relationship]

Therefore, if you’re feeling a little iffy about things because they’re so new, tell them about it. If you’re unsure about something because it’s foreign to you, ask about it. 

It’s okay to be ignorant as long as you’re willing to ask and try to fix stuff.

23. Know that it does take a lot of work

Relationships aren’t easy. They’re not like what you see in movies. You have to actively try very hard to make things work if you want that person in your life.

If you’re not ready to work, a relationship isn’t for you. [Read: Healthy relationship – 27 signs, qualities, and what it looks like in real life]

24. Showing appreciation is immensely undervalued

One of the best ways to learn how to be in a relationship is to prioritize being grateful for what they do. Be appreciative no matter how small the favor. 

When you continuously recognize when someone did something kind and sweet for you, they’ll keep doing it – as long as you’re doing the same. [Read: 16 ways to show appreciation for someone you love]

25. If you’re having trouble, speak up

Things will be harder for you than it is for them if they’ve been in relationships before. They know the ins and outs, and you’re a newbie. 

It’s okay to tell them when you’re struggling with something, but don’t lash out. Keep it calm and controlled.

26. Never close yourself off

The biggest mistake people make is hiding. They don’t give their whole selves to their partner, and that causes a lot of issues. [Read: How to be emotionally available – 17 ways to open up to love and life]

Your partner can tell when you do this, and it hurts them. You have to be willing to be open and honest about everything. They’re with you because they care about you. Let them care about ALL of you.

27. Enjoy the little things

Don’t forget to enjoy the small, cute moments in your relationship. It can be easy to get caught up in the fact that you’ve never been in a serious relationship before, but take some time to just not think about it. Enjoy the little moments that’ll mean the most. [Read: All the little things in love that make romance better]

28. Trust fully

It’s hard to go into a relationship trusting someone fully when you’ve never been in one before. The thing is, you might haven’t been in one because you have some trust issues.

Go into the relationship trusting fully. This person really cares about you and isn’t going to hurt you. Remember that, and it’ll help you learn to trust more. Having trust issues won’t do either of you any good.

29. Enjoy it

You’re in a new relationship! It’s supposed to be fun and passionate. Enjoy this time. Don’t get too caught up thinking about the future. [Read: 15 romantic gestures in a new relationship all new couples must know]

Right now, focus on letting your guard down and learning more about each other. With time, you’ll figure out if this is right for you.

30. Be willing to end it

As much as you want to be in a relationship, you also need to be willing to end it if it’s not for you. It takes time to meet someone you truly connect with, and this person may not be the one. 

The sooner you accept it and move on, the closer you are to finding your partner. [Read: What does dating really mean and what you need to know about it]

How to get used to being in a relationship and not being single anymore

Some people may say that your life shouldn’t change much from being single to being in a relationship. That’s true in some ways, but in others, it isn’t. 

If you plan on being a good partner, some things have to change. 

You are no longer single.

Even though you probably aren’t living with your new partner, getting used to seeing them regularly, keeping in contact throughout the day, and considering them in your plans shows your respect for their place in your life. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship]

Being single vs. being in a relationship – the differences you’ll instantly experience

Right now, you are probably very used to your singlehood. Just as adjusting to single life after a long relationship is hard, adjusting to having someone around when you normally don’t isn’t easy just because you like them. 

You’re used to getting all the covers in bed. You’re used to choosing what to watch, what to eat, where to go, etc. 

You don’t have to compromise with anyone on plans. Everything is your way because you’re only deciding for yourself. [Read: The biggest relationship mistakes new couples make all the time]

Whether you enjoyed being single or not, you’re used to it. It is part of your routine, and breaking away from that routine isn’t going to be easy and breezy.

Being in a solid relationship requires commitment, energy, compromise, mutual respect, and trust. 

It can be hard to go from relying on only yourself to depending on someone else’s word for your schedule and enjoyment. Will they disappoint you? Will they let you down? Will you be annoyed at them? [Read: The right way to be in a relationship after being single for a long time]

Maybe. Those things happen in relationships. Preparing for that can be hard when you’re coming off of constant alone time in your grossest PJs and zit cream. 

How to prepare yourself for a real relationship 

You have to remind yourself that making those changes is worth it. Maybe you don’t get to spread out fully in bed or choose the restaurant for dinner, but you get a companion. 

You get company that you enjoy. You want to make them happy, and they want to make you happy. [Read: How to be a better person in a relationship and be happier, too]

Letting go of the pleasantries of singlehood can seem like a lot of adjustments at once, but think about what you’re trading it for. 

If you want this relationship, giving up a few conveniences is worth a potential lifetime of happiness.

Readjusting to a new normal takes time. You can’t expect to jump into a relationship and be prepared for the changes, no matter how much you want it. [Read: Healthy relationship expectations that define a good relationship]

However, if you want to make a relationship work and be the best partner you can be, learning how to get used to being in a relationship is the first step.

The stark reality of being in a relationship 

First of all, congratulations on finding someone whom you can see a future with. That’s amazing! 

But along with celebrating your newfound romance, you are mourning the loss of your single life. [Read: The most encouraging early signs of a good relationship]

Even if you’ve been wanting a relationship, there are things you’re used to that you’ll have to let go of and new things you’ll need to acclimate to. 

Here are some things, both major and minor, that can feel like a drastic change from your single life once you’re in a relationship. Don’t worry! You can handle them, and it’ll be worth it.

1. Amping up your wardrobe

This may not be a concern for everyone, but when you’re in a fresh relationship, you want to impress your partner with how cute you look. [Read: Healthy relationship expectations that define a good love life]

You may want to have a comfy night at home watching movies, but you don’t want to look like a slob. 

This doesn’t mean that you need to be dolled up to cuddle on the couch. You can amp up what you’d do if you were alone with some subtle changes that make you feel more confident. 

Use some dry shampoo, maybe throw on some tinted lip balm and perfume, and, instead of your ratty PJs, wear a matching set or a color that flatters you. [Read: The 20 cutest, most adorably awkward moments in a new relationship]

These small changes shouldn’t be overwhelming, but they will help you feel like you’re putting in the effort to look your best. This is also only temporary for most couples. 

Once you’re comfortable in your new relationship and have adjusted to having them around, you can go back to sweats and zit cream.

2. Missing your shows

This is such a minor inconvenience, but with our addictions to our fandoms, it can feel like a big loss. [Read: Being single vs. in a relationship – 18 pros, cons, and things you MUST know]

If you have plans with your partner to watch a movie or go out on the night your favorite show airs, you’ll have to wait to watch it and avoid spoilers. 

Sure, that’s annoying when you’re used to watching whatever you want whenever you want. But after spending quality time with your partner, you won’t even think about what you’re missing. 

Who knows? You may even be able to get them interested in your favorite shows so that you can watch them together. [Read: Are some people meant to be alone and single? 18 signs you’re that one]

3. Being clean

Yes, we are all basically clean most of the time, but you’re lying if you say that you vacuum every week, regularly clean your toilet, and have never gone more than a day without a shower. 

When you’re single, letting dust build up, having crumbs in your bed, or having greasy hair is just part of your week. But in a relationship, you want to be on your best behavior, especially at the start. 

See? Some changes are good for the relationship and you. [Read: How to change for your partner without compromising or losing who YOU are]

4. Having real meals

Living alone or eating alone means that you order takeout or eat waffles and ice cream for dinner. There’s no shame in that, but when your new boo is over, you probably want to make a regular meal with protein and vegetables. 

Making that change can feel like you’re depriving yourself of treats, but having a real and balanced meal with your partner brings you together, especially if you cook together. [Read: Cooking as a couple – romantic tips and date ideas to have fun together]

It’s also healthier for your body, and no one says you can’t pig out on waffles and ice cream for dessert. 

5. Privacy

Losing your privacy when getting used to being in a relationship can be hard for a lot of people, especially those who are private and have a history of having controlling partners. 

Inviting your new partner into your space lets them see your medicine cabinet, your phone, and your DVR. Some of these things are more intrusive than others. [Read: New relationship boundaries – lines all new couples must draw early on]

The best way to manage this change is to talk to your partner about boundaries.

What are you okay with, and what makes you uncomfortable? Maybe down the road, you’ll be okay with them picking up your phone if someone calls. 

But for now, maybe that seems too intense for you. Share how you feel about peeling back the layers of privacy and boundaries before you feel overwhelmed. 

6. Gas

Gas. It happens. We’re all human, and we have digestive tracts. [Read: Do girls fart? This and 15 other womanly mysteries demystified!]

Everything from burps to farts can be embarrassing, especially at the start of a new relationship.

Everyone farts and poops. While it’s awkward and weird to be that free with someone so soon, holding it in isn’t good for you.

Honestly, this stuff is just hilarious. If someone has an issue with your body’s natural functions, maybe you should go back to being single because they need to get their priorities straight. [Read: Weird & unique ways to build intimacy with your partner]

7. Do boring stuff together

There are a lot of perks to being in a relationship. When you’re single and have to do chores or run errands, it’s something you dread. Once you’re in a relationship, however, you can actually make those dull things fun.

Going grocery shopping alone is sobering, but going together makes it like a little date. Running errands and cleaning the house with your partner reminds you that things are better with them. 

8. You’re sore

This depends only on your personal fitness and intimacy, but getting back on the saddle when you’ve been alone for a while can trigger some sore muscles.

You’re not used to being in certain positions, and now you are. [Read: Having sex with someone new for the first time? 17 must-follow rules]

Getting used to these activities again is an adjustment but a worthwhile one. Plus, now you have a partner to give you massages.

9. You need to be honest and vulnerable

This is one of the harder parts of getting used to being in a relationship. When you’re single, you’re just you. 

In a relationship, when you have a bad day, feel off, or are really struggling, you have someone to open up to. This can be amazing. You have someone to lean on. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship and feel closer instantly]

But for someone who isn’t used to being vulnerable, it can be scary to start sharing. It can also be hard to be honest with someone when it could cause friction.

These things take practice and patience, but letting go of those fears is what makes a relationship really healthy and balanced. 

Take baby steps until you’re fully comfortable, and share with your partner that it may take time for you to be fully open with them. [Read: 19 secrets to open up to someone you’re dating, even if you’re scared]

10. Things are progressing

Things are getting more serious. Maybe you’re meeting their friends or family, or they want to meet yours. 

This is a big step, and hitting those milestones can feel really intense. Introducing someone you’re dating to your inner circle comes with a lot of fears. 

The best way to handle this change is to tell your partner how you feel. Let them know if it feels too fast for you or if you’re nervous about a certain step. [Read: How to pinpoint your relationship speed if you think it’s moving too fast]

They should understand and work with you so that you’re both comfortable.

11. Pulling worries from the past

When you haven’t dated in a while and are in a new relationship, you may find yourself pulling issues from your last relationship into this one. 

You might even expect your partner to exhibit some of your ex’s behaviors because it’s what you last experienced. [Read: How to know if your past relationship is holding you back from a better future]

This isn’t right or fair, but it makes sense. You’ll naturally compare your relationship to your last one. 

Again, talk to your partner about your past, and let them know that trust may take more time for you or that you may be jealous because you were cheated on.

Let them know that you’re working on seeing this relationship separately from your past, but you’ll need time to get used to it.

They should understand where you’re coming from because they likely have a past, too. [Read: Honest secrets to let go of the past, be happy, and look to the future]

These things naturally affect us, even if it doesn’t make sense. But working through them together is the best way to overcome them.

12. Alone time

Lacking alone time can be exhausting. Whether you’re an introvert or just used to having time to yourself, sharing all your free time with your partner can be suffocating. You want to be around them, but you also need time to rest and reset. 

Talk to them. Let them know that you were single for a long time and got used to having all that time to yourself. [Read: How much time should couples spend together? The answers you must know]

Tell them that as much as you love being with them, this transition is a lot for you to handle. Set boundaries so that you both maintain some independence and time to yourselves.

13. Time with friends and hobbies

You never want to be the friend that ditches their friends because they got into a relationship, but the beginning of a relationship is full of strong feelings and the desire to see each other often. 

If you find yourself missing nights with friends or time for hobbies, make a weekly plan for both of you to see your friends separately. [Read: 24 fun challenges to do with friends to bond and create fun memories]

Later on, you can merge your groups or invite your partner so that you aren’t balancing different worlds but incorporating them. This will help you digest the newness of the relationship while enjoying the comforts of what you’re used to.

14. Doing things you’re not excited about 

All relationships require compromise. Going from being single and just doing what you want to going to a work event with your partner can be annoying. You’re used to your freedom to say no, but you don’t want to let them down. 

Reverse the situation. Your partner would do the same for you. Sure, you may have to endure some dull client meetings or weird family get-togethers, but it’s worth it. [Read: Selfishness in a relationship and how to do the right thing]

Your partner does the same for you because it makes you happy. A couple of boring events are worth dealing with to have your partner smile, right?

15. You may have singlehood nostalgia

When going into a relationship, there are some single activities that you stop doing so frequently. 

You won’t go on dating websites or hook up with people, and that’s something you agreed upon once you entered the relationship. You may have moments where you miss those times, and that’s normal. [Confession: I want to be single again!]

16. Being an “us”

Going from a ‘me’ to a ‘we’ is a big transition. When you’re invited somewhere, it’s as a couple. When you’re making plans, it’s as a duo. 

Having to discuss things together before making a decision can feel like you’ve lost your voice or power. [Read: 22 new relationship tips to avoid the newbie mistakes many make]

Instead of viewing it as a loss, think of it as a gain. You now have someone to share moments and memories with. 

You still have your independence and separate lives, but you can come together and share support, passion, and respect with your partner. 

[Read: The first fight in a relationship and what you should do next]

Now that you know how to get into a relationship, you won’t be so stressed when finding a partner. Remember, it’s not about being in a relationship. It’s about being with the right person.

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...