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Older Women Dating Younger Men: What’s in It For The Woman?

older women dating younger men

The notion of older women dating younger men brings to mind crazy sexual exploration and instruction, but the union is about so much more.

For as long as there has been recorded history, it has been completely acceptable for an older man to date a younger woman. In evolutionary terms, it makes sense. The facts are that a man can father a child until he takes his very last breath on his deathbed – whether he is fifteen or ninety-five. So what is with older women dating younger men?

Men’s sperm is endless and maybe a bit slower after aging, but typically, they are able to impregnate a woman forever. That is why older men find younger women alluring. They are fertile and can carry on his genes. But now, a new phenomenon is emerging where older women dating younger men seems to be the “in” thing.

When a younger woman sees an older woman with a younger guy, they probably scratch their heads wondering why any guy would want to be with someone older. Like a girl with a shorter guy, sometimes things just don’t seem the norm. The thing is that older women have so much to offer younger men, and the advantages are easy to see.

10 reasons older women dating younger men is great

Younger men like to date older woman because they have their shit together. They aren’t bogged down by commitment and biological clocks. They also aren’t into drama or playing games.

Older women know who they are and what they want. Being independent, they also aren’t waiting for some Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet, pay for them forever, and give them the luxurious life they have always dreamed of. For an older woman, the illusion of a fairy tale is far behind.

But, that begs the question… what do older women dating younger men get out of the deal? Sure, there is the obvious thing that everyone goes for – sex. The groupthink is that older women can’t find guys who aren’t in need of Viagra their own age, and they want more in bed.

I am not going to say that isn’t a reason, but what I will say is that it isn’t the only reason. There are many advantages that older women dating younger men have. Here they are. [Read: Cougar dating – 10 rules for dating an older woman]

#1 They aren’t so serious. As you get older, your weekends consist of business parties and networking. The only conversation that people have is what their kids are doing in school or what their retirement funds are averaging.

A younger man isn’t so caught up in the day to day that they have nothing but matter-of-fact things to talk about. Younger men are more engaging, more exciting, and more spontaneous.

They aren’t worried about whether they contributed enough to their savings plan or if their high school daughter is sleeping with her boyfriend. They are worried about… well, nothing, and it is refreshing.

#2 Younger men are more untamed. There is something fresh and exhilarating about a younger man. Not yet jaded by life experiences or devastating loss and heartbreak, they have a fresh and sweet appeal that allows you to forget your problems.

They are quick to convince you that something isn’t a big deal, and to distract you by telling you something funny. Perhaps because life hasn’t choked the life out of them yet, they meet each new experience with an enthusiasm that older guys just don’t have. [Read: When does age difference in a relationship matter?]

#3 They usually don’t have an ex to contend with. As you get older, the pool of guys that you have to choose from begins to narrow, and what you are left with are men who are either on the rebound from a broken marriage or going on their multiple ones.

Younger men don’t come with the same emotional baggage, and they almost never come with teenagers who will hate you right off the bat, or an ex-wife who will be hell-bent on making your life miserable. A younger guy comes with just the stuff he has in his apartment and maybe the heartbreak of his first love. That is totally doable.

#4 They haven’t built up a wall yet. When you go through life and come out the other end, you develop a very hard shell. As guys get older, they have a tendency to harden to things around them. Tired of being walked on by “the man,” their ex-girlfriends or wives, or even their boss, they are very guarded with their emotions, take things slowly, and keep things to themselves.

Harder to get to know, women get tired of peeling through all the layers to get underneath. The worst part is that usually when you get underneath, you find out that it wasn’t worth the time you wasted getting there. [Read: Age gaps – the new trend in relationships]

#5 They smell good. I know this is so very vain and shallow, but a younger guy just smells good. If you get close to one, it is like testosterone wrapped in sex. Horrible sounding, but true. Being around a young man is like walking through an Abercrombie and Fitch store, for real.

#6 They aren’t looking for a commitment. Older guys don’t have that much time to mess around. If they are going to spend time with you, they expect that something is going to become of it. Older men court, younger guys hang out.

So, the older women dating younger men know that they don’t want a commitment any more than you do. If you want to take it to the next level at some point, you both are usually on the same page… crazy in love. [Read: 25 must-follow rules for happy love]

#7 They have a sweetness that warms your heart. Younger men are more open about how they feel, and they show more gratitude and happiness for the things you do. Not many girls their age understand how to treat guys.

Younger girls are self-involved, and all about the “me.” They are into what they want and how to find someone to treat them right. An older woman understands that a relationship is about pleasing one another. Older guys are used to getting their needs met by other women in their lives; a younger guy isn’t used to the kind of attention that an older woman provides and is very grateful for it.

#8 They have more energy. Men have a tendency to not age as well as women. Go to any class reunion, and what you will find is that overall women take better care of themselves and are more active than the men their age.

Women who aren’t ready to give up and give in enjoy a younger guy because they want adventure and someone who will go all night, or take them on the vacation that has them parasailing and jet skiing all weekend long. [Read: 23 types of relationships that define your love life]

#9 They aren’t impressed by money. Most younger guys don’t come with a list of assets. I don’t know what it is about older guys, but they think that women are impressed more by their pocketbook than what they like to do with their weekends *I suppose some are*.

There are some of us women who aren’t all that interested in how many homes you own or the cars you drive, and it is refreshing that the guy who comes to pick us up does so in either an Uber driven car, or in their late 90s model Camry, simply because they don’t care.

#10 They are still at the phase where they get excited about something. The older you get, the harder it is to find a guy who is excited about anything… I mean anything. When you go to the movies, they bitch about the prices of the popcorn or that the movie has been overdone. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and make it last]

When you go to dinner, their steak is never done right. Their expectations are high and their disappointment is always right there on the brink. When you date a younger guy, they are more light-hearted, and they still have dreams to follow that make them happy and leave that spark in their eye. There is nothing better than the spark, or pie in the sky look in a guy’s eye.

There are so many articles touting the advantages of dating an older woman and how awesome Cougars are for experience. But I thought that it is important to tell the other side of the story. The older women dating younger men do so because they bring out a spark in a woman that she hasn’t felt in a long time.

Most people think that May-December relationships when they involve older women dating younger man are all about sexual exploration. But, what it is really about is finding the little girl inside and enjoying the unpretentious nature of a man who hasn’t been jaded by experiences, exes, and 401(k) plans.

[Read: 9 relationship stages that all couples go through]

So, older women dating younger men is about being with someone who wants nothing from you but to have a good time, be spontaneous, and live life to the fullest. Maybe like a do-over, younger guys allow women to remember what it was like to feel alive again.

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Julie Keating
Julie Keating

A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...

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