Everyone is inherently different. If you gave relationships a try and they just don’t work, you might be left wondering, are some people meant to be alone?
Sometimes there are people you meet that just make you ask, are some people meant to be alone? My husband is really into man drama shows. You know the ones on the Discovery Channel where people survive in the wild by themselves.
From one episode to the next you hear about all of their “struggles,” and all I can think is, “Well, it was your choice, idiot, who wants to live out in the middle of nowhere?” But, then I get in a fight with just about everyone in my life and think, now I get that living alone thing.
If you ask if some people are meant to be alone, you probably don’t mean out in the wilderness, Naked & Afraid, or any of the other dumb things people do for reality shows. You probably ask whether there are some people who just don’t meld right in relationships.
Are some people meant to be alone: 13 revealing characteristics
We all know that person on their way out of a third marriage, and we think to ourselves, “Dude, just stay single.” In reality, do those types of people ever learn to get along? I mean, what is their issue?
I am not saying that relationships aren’t hard work, but I have yet to be in one that isn’t worthwhile enough to get through the rough spots, even when they get super rough.
If you are the person I talk about, the one that can’t seem to find a happy medium, or even a happy in a relationship, then I guess yes, there are some people who are meant to be alone. How do you know if you are one of them?
#1 You believe that it is better to be right than happy. It took me close to two decades of relationships to realize it is not better to be right than happy. A hard lesson to learn. Sometimes it is better to just keep your “rightness” in your head and acquiesce instead of holding out for the win.
If you worry about being right, then you likely spend a good chunk of your time proving it. What a waste of energy. If you can’t give in, you might as well give up finding someone. [Read: 8 ways to stop being a self-centered person]
#2 You believe there is no surrender in a battle. If you are a “fight to the death” type of person, then you aren’t going to be in a stable relationship. If all is fair in love and war in your head, you constantly wage battle. At some point, your partner will get tired of the cheap shots, anything to win attitude, and complete lack of empathy you display.
If you always go in for the kill, you kill any relationship you could potentially have.
#3 You like things a certain way, period. We all like things a certain way. I like to make the bed and then get out of the shower, put on socks, and make sure that my feet are completely clean when I enter.
But, if my husband gets off of work and barely has enough time to shower, then I say what the hell. If you always have to have things a certain way, then you are going to be very tiresome to someone who isn’t as into “the right way” as you.
#4 What’s yours is ours, what’s mine is mine. If you keep secrets or things to yourself or act selfish, a relationship is not going to be easy.
#5 You aren’t willing to compromise, ever. Compromise is the cornerstone of any good relationship. Trust me, if you are a strong-willed person, then compromising is not a thing that comes naturally. But, it should come.
#6 No one will control you. If you think contributing to a relationship is tantamount to someone “controlling” you, then you might be better off alone.
When someone cares about you and your wellbeing, they make suggestions about how you should live your life, where you should be, or require you join the team effort. If that is equal to control, then don’t let someone control you. But, that negates a successful relationship.
#7 You like your “alone” time way more than having any “together” time. If it isn’t just about your belongings, but your finances and time that is all yours, then you are meant to be alone.
We all enjoy some time alone *at least you should for a healthy sense of self*. But, if you enjoy being alone far more than being next to someone, then it is time just to call it and realize that it is okay if you are meant to be alone.
#8 You don’t need anyone and prove it. We all like to be independent and figure things out on our own. If you have a chip on your shoulder and don’t need anyone and prove it time and time again, then there is no reason anyone wants to be in a relationship with you.
#9 Other people’s problems irritate you. If you don’t even want to deal with your own issues, let alone someone else’s, stay single. When you share your life and bed with someone, you share some of yourself, which means being there when they need support or a sounding board.
If you aren’t interested in being in anyone else’s entanglements, welcome to the club, who does? But, unless you want to be in a club of one, then you should care about someone else’s problems every once in a while.
#10 You are controlling. If you think you must control every aspect not just of your life but the person you are with too, then you won’t have a successful and happy relationship.
Controlling people are difficult to live with because they are the only people that make decisions. Sooner or later the person you are with will want to have a say. When that day comes, if you don’t give in, they will give up on your union. [Read: 20 glaring signs you have a control freak in you]
#11 You are a loner, always have been, always will be. If you grew up all on your own and that is the way your role models lived too, then it is hard to turn that part of yourself off. Loners don’t need anyone.
But, to be in a successful relationship, you need someone. If not, they don’t feel invested in the relationship. You don’t have to handle everything alone, that is one of the perks of having someone else in your life. [Read: Why it’s normal to not be interested in dating]
#13 You don’t like chaos or company. If the only schedule you want to deal with is your own, then you probably aren’t meant to be in a stable relationship. When you live with someone, you work around not just their schedule but people important in their lives, too.