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How To Play a Player: 16 Sneaky Ways To Return The Favor Like a Boss

Players have one objective – to toy with people like a game. If you want to stop being taken advantage of, it’s time to learn how to play a player.

how to play a player

We’ve all fallen for a player at least once in our lives. They’re so good at taking part in their own game that you lose, every time. This is why you need to learn how to play a player. 

Players are people who consider anyone around them to be an object they need to use in order to win whatever their end game is.

Most of the time, they’re someone who likes to juggle many women at the same time and use their emotions to get what they want. And this is a game they’ve gotten pretty good at.

They want to have many women available to them, even if it means breaking their hearts and using them.

A player is one of the worst kinds of people you can date, but we all fall for their tricks. The moment they get tired of playing games with you, it’s also the moment they cut you loose – just like that. Let’s admit it – players are insecure little pricks who have no self-esteem.

So, like a monster feeding off the dreams of little kids, they find their strength feeding off the love of women who believe in them and love them.

[Read: How to play a guy at his own game and make him feel miserable]

Why do players do what they do?

There are several reasons behind why players go through all these games and never commit to one person. Maybe they had a rough childhood, maybe they have severe commitment issues, maybe they grew up believing that love just can’t last a lifetime. Or maybe some girl cheated on them in their formative years, and they decided it’s time to take revenge and use any and all women that enter their life. Or perhaps, someone told them the only way to win over a woman is by playing a woman because all gentlemen are SIMPs. [Read: What is a SIMP? Meet Gen Z’s version of the nice guy]

While these reasons will never excuse a player’s behaviors, it gives you a concrete reason to believe they’ll never change. Players enjoy the thrill of the game more than anything else. When players toss your heart around and use you, it can be easy to feel heartbroken by this.

However, you must realize their actions are more a reflection of themselves than you. It’s not that you’re not good enough, but it’s just in their nature. This is also why it’s important to know how to play a player – so they can get a taste of their own medicine and stop using hearts as toys.

Why do people fall for players?

The most popular reason why we fall for players is because we fall for their potential. Maybe they appear to have everything you want and need in a relationship, except for that one significant flaw – they can’t be loyal to you. We fall for players because of how easy it is to believe in their words and actions.

The worst part is, we trust and believe in everything they say until we realize a little too late that we’ve been screwed with. We tend to think that if we just love them hard enough, that we can change them into someone capable of commitment.

However, that rarely happens. If you play a player, then maybe they’d know how it feels to be on the receiving end of things. [Read: Does playing coy actually work? How to use it and be effective AF]

How to play a player and beat him at his own game

If you have recently been messed by a player, you may want to return the favor. In order to toy with a player, you have to hit at the very heart of their heartlessness to find the things that make them tick – and take it out.

We’ve listed some of the best ways on how to play a player, and make them feel hurt for a change. These are very subtle ways of making a player feel everything you went through when they were heartless enough to toy with your heart.

[Read: Surefire signs the guy you’re dating a player]

1. Always answer their question with a question

When you get upset with them and suspect that you are being messed with, you ask them questions to catch them. The moment they ask you a question, don’t answer in your usual sweet and loving way. Instead, answer each question with a question back at them. See how they like it.

After all, that’s normally how it goes when you ask them, right? Then it’s only time they experience the receiving end of this.

2. Tell them you’re on your way and don’t show up

If you want to let them know how it feels, text them and tell them that you can’t wait to see them, and you are on your way over. The way to know how to play a player is by getting them excited to see you and then never showing up.

Send a picture of yourself all dressed up in a flattering dress, only to have them wait for hours with you never showing up. If you really want to make them suffer, make it last longer with one excuse after another followed but, “now I am on my way.” [Read: Ingenious ways to beat a player who’s playing you]

3. Don’t answer them when they text

This is a really important one. If there is one thing players are known for, it’s their inconsistency to communicate unless it benefits them! Players have a list of people that they go down to text and keep in contact with. The way they gauge their playing ability is with the ease by which they can manipulate you.

It takes a lot of strength and willpower to avoid texting them back, so find the willpower to avoid doing so. If you want to know how to play a player, don’t text them back at all costs. If you have to turn off your texts and put your phone on airplane mode, do so.

4. Go for their best friend

What are players best at? They are masters at destroying everything and everyone in their wake. Why? Because they can. Nothing will hit them harder than to go after their best friend.

It’ll hurt his ego and he’ll never see it coming when he loses you for one of his best bros. [Read: Is he a player or a gentleman? 13 clear giveaways]

5. Find out who they’re dating and make besties with them

If you find out that you have been a victim of a player, then the best way to shut them down is to take them out. If you want to know how to play a player, the best way to do that is by being besties with his new girl. There’s no better revenge than for him to see you being close as ever with his new date.

Find out who he has been messing around with, invite them all over for a night of drinks, and then lure him over to see that you are not going to be his pawns anymore!

6. Draw them close then shut them out

A player is best at what? Toying with your emotions. If you want to give them a taste of their own medicine, then you have to pretend to be their everything. Give them all your affection and love, only to keep them at a distance the next minute.

This is what players are masters at, so in learning how to play a player, beat them at their own game. Not in the “I think we should be friends” way. Shut them down completely the way they do their victims and just stop answering forever. [Read: Tricky mind games that guys play that any girl can win]

7. Be elusive

Players can put you off, make you think you are being obsessive and crazy, and that it is all your fault even if you haven’t done anything but try to call them over the phone. Being elusive means you can’t be labeled, pinned down, or even held accountable for anything you do.

Even when he gaslights you, the best way to know how to play a player is to remain unaffected by this. Act like your most indifferent and unbothered self – and that’s how you win the game.

8. Blow them off

A player never usually gets blown off or waits for someone else. Similar to the second point in this list, make them realize how crappy it is to get blown off for your other plans. In other words, make them feel like they don’t matter.

If you want to let a player know how it feels to be played, then make plans – no, make like major important plans – and then suddenly just disappear without a trace. [Read: How to play hard to get with a guy]

9. Send a text and when they answer, say, “Oops that was for someone else.”

If you want to let them know how it feels to be cheated on and disregarded, send them a text out of the blue. Make them completely doubt your intentions and their trust for you, just like they’ve done with you all this time.

Make it seem like you sent the wrong text message that was meant for someone else, and they’re guaranteed to go crazy over that text.

10. Leave them hanging

Players are experts at making all sorts of plans, but since they are making plans with several people all over the place, they can’t keep their story straight. Make them believe spending time with them is the least of your priorities. Get them to anticipate your presence and don’t deliver.

Make sure that they tell everyone you are supposed to come over, just so you flake on them and show them how it feels to be abandoned – and to feel like a loser like they have done to you. [Read: How to understand a man and his mind]

11. Remain shallow

The best way to know how to play a player is to sound like you are smitten. Make them believe you have nothing but unconditional love for them and that they mean the world to you. However, don’t match your actions with your words. Don’t fall for them, but simply make them feel like you mean it.

The key is to have no feelings whatsoever and have your whole goal be to let them know how it feels to be used and abused.

12. Show no emotions or interest

Players are all about themselves. In fact, to them, if they didn’t exist the world wouldn’t turn – and humanity wouldn’t exist. The number one rule to keep in mind in knowing how to play a player is to never fall in love. Don’t be attached to them and simply enjoy the thrill of the game.

After all, that’s what they would’ve done. Keep the conversation so superficial that nothing of any value is discussed, no emotions are shared, and no feelings are flowing from you. [Read: 25 signs of covert narcissism – a special kind of mind game]

13. Date other guys

This is exactly what a player would’ve done, so this is how you need to toy a player at his own game. You need to be willing to date other guys and show them that your world doesn’t revolve around them.

Give this guy that element of fear that he’s really the least of your worries and you couldn’t care less about his existence in your life.

14. Pull him around for your needs

If there’s another thing players are particularly good at, it’s using people. If you want to know how to play a player, pull him around for everything you need.

Use his love and affection for you to get everything you want without being appreciative of a single one of his efforts. Take advantage of him and make him feel like you’re taking him for granted.

15. Manipulate him

This sounds a little harsh, but players are absolute masters at manipulation. Whether it’s playing the sad guy, gaslighting you, or victim-blaming, they’ll do everything in their power to get what they want. If you want to beat players at their own game, manipulate him.

Every time he asks if you have someone else, tell him that he’s just being paranoid and dramatic. When he opens up about your actions, tell him it’s all in his mind. After all, these are all actions of an expert in playing people’s hearts. [Read: How to manipulate men: The art of getting a guy to do what you want]

16. Never sleep with him

Again, you can’t give in to what he wants if you want to know the secrets on how to play a player. The moment you sleep with him, you lose all power. Instead, drive him around to anticipate sleeping with you but never give in to that desire.

Flirt with him, be seductive, wear revealing clothes around him, but don’t give him the satisfaction of sleeping with you. These are all classic player moves.

So, how do you play a player?

A player might seem invincible and all-powerful until you actually manage to beat them at their own game. You see, deep inside, they’re full of insecurities and more self-doubt than you think.

If you want to know how to play a player, then stay away from them, or just be done with them. When you make them feel everything they’ve done to you, they’ll likely have a taste of their medicine. But then again, what’s the point of playing that game?

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Julie Keating

A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...

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