When you’ve messed up in your relationship or friendship, trying to get a guy to like you again and forgive you can be a LOT harder than you think. When apologizing, calling, texting, and even showing up at their house unannounced hasn’t worked for you, it is time to try other things.
The truth is, when you have a falling out emotions are running high, and they can suddenly stop liking you because of whatever it is you were arguing about. Whether he changed his mind for a good reason or is just being stubborn, getting him to like you again can be a struggle.
Why we give up at the first sign of struggle
This type of behavior isn’t something only guys do. In fact, as human beings we tend to disconnect ourselves from those we have a disagreement with. When our feelings get hurt or we get passionately angry about something, it causes us to make rash decisions and then we’re too stubborn to put those issues aside.
Some of us just give up because we’re afraid of constant argument and problems. We think it would just be easier if we give up now than to stick it out and argue reasonably about something. These types of people can be the hardest to get to like you again.
How to get a guy to like you again after a falling out
As difficult as it may be to get someone to come around and like you again, it is possible. You may have to spend a lot of time investing into making them like you again, but if you feel they’re worth it, then it won’t be as hard as it seems.
Everyone wants to forgive and forget. Sometimes our minds are too powerful. They cling to those annoying things that make us not like someone. If you want to get a guy to like you again—especially after having a falling out—these are the necessary steps to take.
#1 Give him space. Guys are not like girls. They don’t like to be talked to when they’re upset, most of them anyway. They prefer to get through their problems with their own space. So give him time to sort through his emotions and don’t bother him until he’s ready to talk. [Read: 10 obvious hints guys give when they want more space]
#2 Understand the problem better. In the meantime, try to understand the problem better. Obviously the falling out was a problem between both of you, so you have to go back to it and relive it. Trying to understand what exactly was the issue helps you figure out how to reach him better.
#3 Admit your own faults to yourself. If you ever expect them to like you again, be willing to admit when you’ve messed up, even if it wasn’t that big of a deal to you. If it hurt him, it’s your fault. Admit it to yourself, and it’ll be easier to get through your falling out.
#4 Put yourself in his shoes. Think of the situation from his point of view. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal to you, but he’s not the same. Putting yourself in his position can help you better understand why he doesn’t like you anymore and helps you get back in his good graces. [Read: 7 reasons why empathy is important in a relationship]
#5 Ask him to talk—in person. Once you’ve given him time, and you’re confident he will be willing to talk to you, reach out and ask him to meet you somewhere. If he says no, give him more time to come around. He will eventually agree.
#6 Explain you didn’t mean for you two to part ways. When you do get to finally discuss things, first explain you never meant for this to happen and things got far beyond what you wanted. If he knows how much you regret what happened, it’ll soften his edges a bit.
#7 Apologize genuinely, but only once. There is absolutely no need to spill apology after apology. When you explain your situation and then tell him you are very sorry you hurt him/things got out of hand, that is enough. It’s up to him to forgive you.
#8 Gain his forgiveness. This may not be an easy thing to do. Nevertheless, you have to wait for his forgiveness for the situation. Sometimes, however, he may even think it’s partly his fault so gaining his forgiveness may be easy for you. [Read: 17 aww-so-sweet ways to genuinely say I’m sorry]
#9 Talk to him as if it never happened after it has been smoothed over. Once you’re both past the issue and have agreed to put it behind you, then DON’T BRING IT UP ever again. Never. If you do, he will think you’ll always use that falling out against him and lose his trust.
Just talk to him as if it never happened in the first place. Go back to your old conversation and old ways of talking and don’t let that falling out hang over you two.
#10 Get flirty with him! Flirting is such a great way to get a guy to like you again. It’s really hard for a guy not to flirt back with a girl and doing so sparks those same feelings he used to have for you. Keep it mild at first and gauge his reactions.
#11 Just be yourself. Don’t overdo it trying to win him back. If you put way too much effort into your personality and trying to be all cutesy for him, he won’t like it very much because it’s not you. He liked you before because you were just YOU.
#12 Ease into communicating more. Don’t go from your meeting to texting him every single day. Just don’t. It’ll scare him off because he won’t be ready for that. After all, your falling out caused him not to like you anymore. Ease back into it as if it’s your first time talking to him again. [Read: I miss him but I don’t think he misses me]
#13 Ask him to go with you somewhere you know he loves. Once you have solid communication down and it’s regular, ask him to hang out with you somewhere you know he can’t resist. This can be a restaurant, concert, ice-skating, or even just the movies. If you know he’ll want to go, ask him!
#14 Do old things you know he likes. If he loved a certain perfume of yours, wear it. If he loved the way you wore your hair up in a bun on top of your head, then do that. Bringing up these old things he really liked about you is a great way to spark those old feelings in him. [Read: Getting back together? Slow and steady wins the race]
#15 Show him you still like him. If you really want to get a guy to like you again, show him your feelings for him are still there. He may be holding back after your falling out because he’s unsure of your feelings. Showing him you still like him helps reawaken those feelings he has for you.
[Read: Baby come back: How to win your ex back in a healthy way]
There’s not much worse than going through a falling out and realizing a guy no longer likes you. Luckily, there are ways to get his feelings back on the right track!
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