No one likes being used. Sometimes, learning how to get over a guy who used you is even harder than an actual breakup. You can get over it, and you will.
If you’re reading this, then you’re probably hurting and want to know how to get over a guy who used you. Listen, I feel you, girl. I think it’s safe to say we’ve all experienced being used by someone.
A couple of guys used me when I was younger, and it took a long time to get over. Especially when you never really had them. If you were in a genuine relationship, at least it was real. But when someone uses you, was it real? I mean, yes, your emotions were real, but the situation wasn’t genuine. So, of course, it stings.
I know it’s a little harsh, but it’s time to wake up, girl! Take back your life. Get up on your feet and move forward. He’ll be fine… Actually, he’ll probably do this again, so don’t worry. Eventually, karma will smile back at him. So, let’s get over him, okay?
#1 Don’t be the victim. It’s really easy to start thinking, why me? Why is this happening to me? Listen, it happened to you. You’re not on some special list that protects you from jerks. You met a guy, and he used you. But you are not a victim. This doesn’t mean you’ll never find a new guy who loves you, you will. [Read: How to spot manipulative people and stop being a victim]
#2 You had what they wanted. This guy used you because you had something they wanted. Don’t put the blame on yourself. Whether money, time, or attention, you provided it to them. This isn’t a reflection of you. They lack motivation, they lack intelligence, and they lack a mindset. They’re simply hopping from person to person, taking what they want, and moving on.
#3 Kindness isn’t a weakness. When you’re used, it’s normal to assume you’re being too kind. But before you turn jaded, kindness isn’t a weakness. Yes, be more aware next time, but this doesn’t mean you cannot continue being kind. Sharing love, compassion, and attention are beautiful. The world needs more of it. So, continue being kind. [Read: How to stop selfish people from hurting you]
#4 What you experienced is true. Whatever you felt was real, don’t be mistaken. Your feelings were genuine and authentic. This is why you struggle to move on. They had an impact on you. So, this isn’t the time to deny your feelings. Instead of keeping them wound up inside of you, this is the time to let them go. Write about it, cry, laugh, watch breakups movies. Do whatever you’d like to help yourself through it.
#5 Remind yourself you’re lovable. Before anything, tell yourself this isn’t the end for you. You’re not going to die alone with no one around you. This guy used you, it happened, but the future is still bright. It’s hard to feel rejection, but you are lovable. And you will find someone who loves you. You will find someone ready to settle down and be in a committed relationship with you. [Read: How to pull back in love when you’re giving too much]
#6 Make distance. If this guy was using you, cut contact with him. You cannot under any circumstance continue to see him. Or else he’ll keep playing you, and you’ll get hurt. Heal and move on. You’re not going to be friends with this guy now; it’s done. He used you. Even if you really like him, he doesn’t respect you. So, time to distance yourself from him.
#7 Delete his social media. I know you’ll want to creep but that’s the problem. You shouldn’t be creeping his social media. It won’t make you feel any better. It’ll probably make you feel worse. And I know it sounds like I’m saying this casually, but I know how hard it is. It took me weeks to delete this one guy’s social media. I couldn’t do it. But when I did, it felt amazing. [Read: How to stop thinking about someone you still like]
#8 Reflect on yourself. Okay, this guy used you, but what happened? Did you let him cross the boundaries? Did you have a feeling something wasn’t right? Yes, he’s a jerk, but what was your involvement in this? I’m not saying you’re to blame; you’re not. But reflect on areas where you need to improve.
#9 It’s time to be with friends. After a guy has used you, surround yourself with people who love you. This is when you want your friends and family hanging out with you, giving you security and emotional support. Go shopping, get coffee, to the beach. Spend time with your friends and family in a positive way. [Read: How to open up and make true friends]
#10 Get it out. All of your emotions, let them out. Talk to your friends, talk to your family, write it down in your journal. Whatever you need to do to release your emotions, do it. If not, they’ll bottle up inside of you and you’ll eventually explode. Also, you won’t reflect on the situation, which means it’ll happen again.
#11 Learn from this. At the end of the day, whether he used you or not, it was a relationship. And of course, you’re going to be upset and angry, obviously. But at some point, look at the relationship in a different light. What did you learn from this experience? What did he teach you? It may not have been a great ending, but you did learn something new.
#12 It’s all about you. No, you don’t need to become self-involved and obsessed with your reflection, but learn to practice self-care. Now, self-care isn’t about being selfish. It’s about taking care of yourself in a positive way. Read a book, take up a hobby, write. Do things that bring you happiness. Yes, you’re trying to figure out how to get over a guy who used you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t pursue happiness now.
#13 Go into the next relationship mindful. You’re going to be in a relationship down the road… it’s only a matter of time. But the next relationship should be slow and easy. Use what you learned and apply it to a new relationship. Be mindful when entering into a relationship. How are you feeling? How does he make you feel? Do you see any red flags? [Read: How to fall in love again after you’ve been hurt by a guy]
#14 Form healthy boundaries for the future. That being said, you need boundaries. Yes, you can help someone out, but when it’s constant, or they interfere with your happiness, create limits. You made the mistake in not creating boundaries.
#15 It takes time. Don’t think it’s going to happen overnight. If your feelings were real, this is going to feel like a bad breakup, even worse. So, let yourself cry, laugh, be angry. Let yourself go through the process of grieving. Eventually, the tears will stop, and you’ll actually forget about it. I know it sounds crazy now, but it’s true.