He’s Not Ready for a Relationship Right Now: Should I Wait or Walk?

Countless times we hear the same question, he’s not ready for a relationship right now. Should you wait? If he’s not ready, it’s time to say goodbye.

he's not ready for a relationship right now

The burning question we’re going to talk about here, he’s not ready for a relationship right now. So should you wait or should you move on?

There is one question to ask yourself and that will give you all the information you need. Are you ready for a relationship? It doesn’t matter what he thinks, what about you? Do you want a relationship right now?

If you do, if you honestly hand on heart want a real relationship, waiting around for Mr. Not Right Now isn’t the best choice. Seriously, with love and respect, walk away.

If you’re truly asking this question, how does that advice make you feel?

Sad? Disappointed? Upset?

Probably all of the above. Believe me, if he’s not ready for a relationship right now, walking away from the situation because it doesn’t hold happiness for you is the best thing you can do for you. [Read: The 20 big clues you need to back away from your relationship now]

Looking for a happy ending

Relationships are a series of ups and downs which hopefully lead to a happy ending. The problem is, what one person sees as ‘happy’ isn’t always a view shared by the other.

We’re all at different points in our lives, and while one person might be ready and raring to settle down and procreate, their partner might never want that, simply happy to share memories and time with someone as a companion.

There are countless different ideas of what a relationship is, but the single most important thing is to ensure that both parties are on the very same page. [Read: The right reasons for breaking up with someone you love]

Let’s imagine you waited…

Just imagine that you did wait. How long are you supposed to wait? The waiting could become an addiction. One, you hold onto for years and years. By the time he decides he’s ready, maybe you’re tired of waiting, or maybe you’ve missed your chance to be with someone who really did want to be with you.

In addition, what if he never decides he’s ready? Or worse, what if he meets someone who immediately sweeps him off his feet and he decides he’s ready with them instead?

Waiting inevitably leads to heartbreak, whether you get the guy in the end or not. By waiting, you put your life on hold. There is no man on this earth worth that sacrifice!

Why isn’t he ready?

What is stopping him? Why isn’t he ready?

Of course, there is another side of this argument. It’s right for someone to tell you that they’re not ready for a relationship. Maybe he’s just coming out of a long term relationship and he’s not ready for a relationship right now. The idea of being in another one so quickly terrifies him. That’s fine, and props to him for being honest. What isn’t fine is you waiting around until a time comes when he’s ready once more. [Read: 15 revealing truths about feeling alone in a relationship]

A better option?

A far better option is to simply go about your life and focus on yourself. Don’t stick around waiting, and don’t keep tabs on him and his relationship status either. Avoid Facebook/Instagram stalking. Because figuring out who that person who stood next to him in his latest photo won’t make you feel better. Also, stop asking friends what he has been up to.

Yes, you can be friends with him, but form a healthy friendship. To do this, try to put the idea of you and him out of your mind. If it is going to be, believe me, it will be, but you trying to force the issue will not lead you towards your so-called happy ending. [Read: How to stop being strung along by a guy and take a firm stand]

So, what should you do?

Once you’ve had the conversation and you’ve found that he simply isn’t ready right now, put it to the back of your mind. Easier said than done, but it will get easier over time. From that moment, start to spend some time away from him. It might be hard at first, especially if you’ve been used to being around him, but space is what you need right now. If you continue to let him be close to you at this time, you’ll simply hang on, pining after him for far too long.

Busy yourself with your life, find a new hobby, go out with different friends, try meeting other guys and see if anyone else takes your fancy. Basically, focus on you and build your confidence and happiness back up.

It’s bound to have taken a knock. When you like someone and find out they don’t want the same thing as you, it can knock you down. And that’s perfectly normal, but self-pity isn’t an option here! [Read: When you miss him – 20 mind tricks to stop missing the wrong guy]

I’m not going to lie. The fact that you’ve expressed an interest in a relationship with this guy, and now you’re out there living your life, he’s going to be keen to know what you’re up to. It’s normal human curiosity. There is a chance that this might make him see things in a different way, and he will suddenly be open to that relationship. In that case, it’s time for you to make him wait.

You see, if he’s told you he’s not ready, he sees you going out having a great time, and suddenly he’s ready, ask yourself what his motivation is. Does he not want you but he doesn’t want anyone else to have you either? Is he sure that he’s ready?

You deserve someone who 100% wants to be with you in the here and now, not someone who has to think about it or makes you wait. The best advice is to be grateful for his honesty and move on. [Read: The unassuming signs you’re dating a jerk]

He’s not ready for a relationship right now – should I wait?

Don’t wait for it! Have you heard the saying ‘a watched kettle never boils’? It’s so true. The more you wait for something, the more it doesn’t come. Meanwhile you allow previous weeks, months, or even years tick by without giving yourself the happiness you deserve. He can’t make you happy, you must do that yourself.

Of course, there is a chance in the future he will have worked out his issues and be ready to start a relationship once more. At that time, assess how you really feel in that moment. Do you want to go back to this same situation? Or, have you found something which really makes you happy in the time that’s passed?

I’m not going to rule out a chance in the future, but don’t sit waiting for it, consciously or otherwise. Focus on number one and having good times with friends, enjoying your life, and developing who you are as a person. If you do that, you won’t have to wait for someone. They’ll be knocking your door down!

[Read: The pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back]

If you’re wondering if you should wait around because he’s not ready for a relationship right now, give yourself time to heal, overcome it, and move on. If in the future it’s meant to be, it will be.

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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