You see him walk into the club and all eyes are on him. You know the type—the class-A player. Here are 10 ways to beat a player before he can play you.
He’s stunning, charming, rich, and fancy. AND he speaks five languages. He’s like the real-life Barney Stinson, only way better-looking and way more irresistible, yet ever as sly.
He makes his way to you, and his smoldering eyes alone make you go weak in the knees. Could he be that perfect guy you’ve been waiting for, or have you just been caught in the crosshairs of a player on the prowl?
How to beat a player at his own game
Before you become a victim of a charming predator whose only aim is to get into your pants, take a look at the following list for the best ways to master bringing out your A-game and beating the player before he plays you:
#1 Play hardball. If he’s really playing you at your own expense, you wouldn’t want to make it easy for him, right? Right. Nothing challenges a player more than the idea of a conquest. If you want to get his attention and have him chasing after you, start off by being indifferent. Or better yet, completely ignore him.
If he comes near you, play it cool and put him down. If he tries to get your attention, look away, stare into your drink like it’s the most interesting thing in the room, or disappear into the girls’ room. Pretending you don’t notice him or are not the least bit interested challenges his confidence, and he may just want to prove you wrong. [Read: How to play hard to get with a guy]
#2 Acknowledge him, but don’t be too eager. Players are used to women fawning over them. If you keep bumping into each other in the same clubs and he keeps going after you, then you know you’ve got him right where you need him.
Start acknowledging him just enough to make him curious and tease his appetite for your attention. Smile at him, nod to him from across the room, and let him buy you a drink. However, this is no reason for you to sleep with him that same night. Let him get to know you a little to get him more interested. Repeat his name over and over like a hypnotic mantra and touch his arm when he’s telling a joke you know he’s used on almost all the other girls in the room. But before the night ends, walk away. [Read: 14 ways to show a guy you like him and still be a tease]
#3 Show him you’re having a great time. Whether you’re doing great at work, having fun working out with your girlfriends, or enjoying your alone time shopping, show him you’re living it up even if you’re single. Nothing makes any guy admire a girl more than seeing her confident and happy in her own skin. This also shows the player that you have so many good things going in your life that you have plenty of better things to do than be with him. In fact, you don’t need him in your life at all.
#4 Bask in the attention of other guys and make sure the player sees this. Looking great, feeling great, exuding confidence, and getting the attention of other men further conveys that you are just fine on your own. Go out with other guys, and if another guy approaches you in a bar, smile and laugh and giggle. Seeing some competition will amp up his interest even more because he will see this as another challenge that he’d love to overcome. [Read: How to make a guy jealous and get his attention]
#5 Master the art of flirting. The ball has started rolling, and, of course, you need to come prepared. You wouldn’t go to the battlefield unarmed, right? So if you don’t know the least bit about flirting, it’s time to get started.
Try gazing into his eyes from across the room and smile seductively to reel him in. Once he comes to you, have a quick, flirtatious talk with him and maybe even drop some innuendos here and there. Laugh at his jokes, but don’t flatter him. Make it clear that while you’re flirting with him, you are not going to fall for his good ole womanizing tactics. Keep things light and fun, and he’ll want to be around you even more. [Read: 30 sexy flirting tips for girls]
#6 Maintain an air of mystery. It’s not enough to just be elusive. Be mysterious as well. Aside from the glances and the smiles, don’t volunteer much information about yourself. If he asks about your day, shrug and smile noncommittally and ask him about his day. Never talk about your ex, your hopes and fears, what you like in a guy, or how you burned your tongue that morning by slurping your coffee too fast.
Make him guess what’s really on your mind by speaking vaguely. Make him find out who you are and what you’re all about, and he’ll desperately want to figure you out like a jigsaw puzzle. [Read: How to be mysterious without being too distant]
#7 Don’t be too available for him. Players are used to having every girl at their beck and call. They are also used to having girls text and call them all the time. Be different, wait for him to be the one to make the first move. And if he texts you, don’t respond to him right away. Even wait a few days to respond. Or if he calls, don’t answer right away. Show him that you have other things to do than sit by your phone and wait for him. The same goes for your social media accounts. Don’t waste time stalking him on Facebook or Instagram. [Read: 8 social media users that make you want to scream]
#8 Check your jealousy meter. If he’s a really good player, your lack of interest in him will never faze him. He may even try to turn the tables on you by going out with other women and making sure you see him. Well, guess what… this won’t get to you because you won’t be jealous.
In fact, show him you don’t care at all. And you shouldn’t! This is exactly what he wants, and you will most likely stand out if you don’t play into his mind games. And if he really gets ruthless and starts hitting on your friend, be nice to her and don’t see her as competition.
#9 Keep your options open. You know the saying, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea”? Hold onto it, because it’s true. You will always have options—if not now, then later. That’s just the way it is, and if you can’t see other people now, then find diversions such as your work, your friends, or your hobbies. The important thing is to keep yourself from being too emotionally attached to him so that if he leaves you high and dry, you know you’ll be fine. [Read: How to stop obsessing over a guy you’re interested in]
#10 Play him before he plays you. If you really want to play the player, you have to know the game better than he does. And most importantly, you have to be the better player. The first and most important rule of playing is to NEVER fall in love with the person. Remember that it is just a game, and unless he truly steps up, he isn’t worth your time, your attention, or your love.
If you have no idea what a player is, chances are, you’ll end up walking the next morning’s walk of shame, just like the many other women who’ve come before you. You’ll be part of the statistics, another number on his list. So arm yourself with these tips to avoid being played. Most importantly, keep in mind that the best guy for you is the one who never forces you to play games.
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Tiffany Grace Reyes
Tiffany is a wordsmith who has played with words ever since her letter-to-the-editor was published nationally at the age of 9. Since then her writing has gone f...