48 Red Signs He Has a Girlfriend Even If He Says He’s Single & Pursuing You

Signs He Has a Girlfriend Even If He Says He's Single

Think he’s single but something feels off? These signs he has a girlfriend will help you decode the truth, with zero awkwardness and zero regrets.

So, you’ve met a guy who’s charming, flirty, and gives you butterflies, but also, a weird gut feeling. You don’t know him well enough to ask, “Hey, do you have a girlfriend?” without it sounding like an FBI interrogation… but something just isn’t adding up. Do does he have a girlfriend already? Is he just toying you or using you as a side chick?

Don’t worry, you’re not being paranoid, you’re being perceptive. When it comes to spotting signs he has a girlfriend, it’s all about reading between the texts (and the dodged calls, and the vague weekend plans). Your intuition is a superpower, and science backs that up: people often pick up on deception through subtle behavioral cues before they even realize it consciously. 📚 Source: Dunn et al., 2010, The Role of Intuition in Decision-Making

This guide is your cheat sheet to decoding his sketchy behavior, understanding the psychology behind it, and figuring out whether you should confront him, move on, or just ghost like a pro. Let’s get into it, because you deserve honesty, not mystery.

[Read: How to Tell If a Guy is Playing You: 40 Signs He’s Just Using You]

Signs He Has a Girlfriend When You Don’t Know Him Very Well

When you don’t know a guy very well, it can be tricky to spot the signs he has a girlfriend. You’re working with limited info, and if he’s hiding something, he’s probably good at it. But subtle clues always slip through. Here’s how to decode the signs like a pro, using a mix of psychology, observation, and just enough social sleuthing.

1. He’s vague about his personal life

When someone’s single, they usually don’t mind sharing details about their life, where they hang out, who they live with, what they’re doing this weekend.

But if he dodges simple questions, gives one-word answers, or always redirects the conversation, that’s a red flag. Vague answers are often a defense mechanism to avoid revealing something, or someone, important.

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2. He never mentions his relationship status

Most single guys will casually mention they’re single without being asked, especially if they’re into you. But if he never brings it up, even when the conversation naturally heads in that direction, he might be hiding something.

And if you ask directly and he says something like, “It’s complicated,” or “I don’t like labels,” that’s not mysterious, it’s suspicious. [Read: Fling to Relationship: 31 Signs You’re Moving From Something Casual to Love]

3. He’s overly flirty… but only in private

If he flirts with you when no one else is around but acts distant or platonic in public or around mutual friends, he might be trying to keep your connection under wraps.

This kind of compartmentalized behavior is a classic tactic used by people who are juggling more than one romantic situation. 📚 Source: Afifi et al., 2015, Infidelity and Secrecy in Romantic Relationships

4. He avoids physical closeness in public

If you try to sit close, touch his arm, or hug him and he subtly pulls away, or just seems uncomfortable, that’s worth noting. He might be worried someone will see and report back to his actual girlfriend.

And while personal boundaries are valid, consistent avoidance of any kind of public affection can be a sign he’s trying to stay under the radar. [Read: Ghosting: What It Is, 63 Signs, Reasons to Ghost & How It Affects Both People]

5. He always seems to be “busy” on weekends

Weekends are prime time for couples. If he’s always “working,” “visiting family,” or “just laying low” on Friday and Saturday nights, that could be because he’s already booked, with someone else.

This becomes even more suspicious if he never invites you to join or never texts you during those times. [Read: Committed Relationship: 59 Signs & Ways to Show Your Commitment in Love]

6. His phone is off-limits

We’re not saying you should snoop. But if he’s oddly protective of his phone, turning it face-down, never letting you near it, or getting jumpy when a message comes in, that’s a sign.

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In committed relationships, secrecy around phones is one of the top predictors of infidelity. 📚 Source: Whitty, 2005, “The Realities of Cybercheating

7. Social media silence or sketchiness

Social media can be a goldmine for figuring out someone’s relationship status. If his profiles are completely private, nonexistent, or strangely empty, especially for someone in their 20s, that’s a little odd.

Even more suspicious? No tagged photos, no recent posts, or a sudden wipe of relationship-related content. You can also check his friends’ pages for clues (just don’t accidentally like anything from 2018!). [Read: Relationship FOMO: 56 Truths, Signs & Effects of Dating Someone with FOMO]

8. He avoids being seen with you in public

Does he always want to “chill” at home or in low-key spots where you’re unlikely to run into anyone? If he avoids going to places where he might be recognized, like popular cafes, bars, or events, he could be dodging the risk of bumping into someone who knows his girlfriend, or worse, his girlfriend herself. [Read: Foster Girlfriend: What It Means & Why You’re Always Stuck Being that Girl]

9. You’ve never met any of his friends

If you’ve hung out a few times and he hasn’t introduced you to a single friend, or even mentioned any by name, that’s a little odd.

Most people talk about their close friends naturally. If he’s keeping his social circle separate, it might be because someone in that circle knows he’s not as single as he claims.

10. He’s hot and cold

One day he’s super flirty and into you; the next he’s distant or completely MIA. Inconsistency like this can be a sign he’s juggling multiple people. It’s not just about being flaky, it’s about managing time and guilt.

Studies show that people who cheat often experience emotional conflict, which can lead to erratic behavior. 📚 Source: Buss & Shackelford, 1997, Susceptibility to Infidelity in Romantic Relationships

11. He dodges the camera

If you try to take a cute pic together and he suddenly becomes camera-shy, that’s not just modesty, it could be damage control.

A guy who’s worried about being seen with another girl online will avoid photos like the plague. And if he does agree to a photo but asks you not to post it? Take that as a flashing neon sign.

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12. He’s charming, but a little too polished

Some guys are smooth. But if he seems like he’s running playbook lines or is just a little too perfect in how he flirts, it could mean he’s had practice, possibly while already in a relationship. Look out for charm that feels rehearsed rather than real.

Spotting the signs he has a girlfriend when you don’t know him well is all about tuning in to the little things. You don’t need to play detective, but you do need to pay attention to patterns in his behavior, and trust yourself when something doesn’t feel right. [Read: 23 Signs the Person You’re Dating is Too Good to Be True & Probably a Phony]

13. He avoids your calls, especially during “off hours”

If he rarely answers your calls in the evenings or on weekends, or always lets it go to voicemail, that’s a red flag. A guy who’s genuinely single and into you won’t have to hide his phone habits. If he only ever calls you during work breaks or random hours, ask yourself: what’s he doing during the times people usually spend with their partner? [Read: 18 Bad Habits that’ll Make Your Partner Want to Leave You]

14. Your name is saved under a fake contact

If you ever catch a glimpse of your name in his phone and it’s listed as “Alex from Work” or some emoji-laden codename, that’s a huge red flag. Guys who are juggling two women often use pseudonyms to avoid getting caught.

15. He ghosts you on holidays

Major holidays, Valentine’s Day, Christmas, New Year’s, are when couples naturally come together. If he’s MIA during these key dates or gives shady excuses for not seeing you, there’s a good chance he’s already booked… by someone else.

16. You’ve never been to his place

He always comes to your place, often unannounced, but never invites you over. When you suggest seeing his place, he dodges it or makes excuses about roommates, renovations, or “it’s a mess.”

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If you’ve been dating for weeks or months and have never seen where he lives, ask why. [Read: Dating for Three Months: 37 Milestones, Red Flags & Answers You Should Know]

17. He always has a time limit

Your hangouts are short and sweet. He rarely spends the night or stays for more than a few hours. It’s like he’s on a schedule, because he probably is. If he always has to “leave soon,” he may be reporting back to someone else.

18. He dodges questions about his past

Ask him about his last relationship and he gets vague. Ask about his family and he changes the subject. A guy who’s emotionally available and single will be open about his life. If he’s dodging, he’s hiding, possibly his current relationship. [Read: 35 Relationship Facts & Hacks that’ll Change the Way You Date & See Love!]

19. He only takes you to low-key places

It’s always obscure cafes, late-night meetups, or places far from where he lives. While cozy hangouts are cute, if you’ve never been seen with him in public or around people he knows, he may be trying to keep you under the radar.

20. He’s weird about social media

He claims he doesn’t use Instagram or Facebook, but you find out he does, and his profile is locked down tighter than Fort Knox. He won’t post you, won’t accept your friend requests, and avoids being in any pictures with you. That’s not privacy; that’s secrecy. [Read: My Boyfriend Likes Other Girls’ Pictures on Instagram: What Now?]

21. His ring finger tells a story

Even if he’s not wearing a ring, look for signs like a tan line or indentation. Some guys take off their wedding bands or commitment rings when they’re with someone else, but their skin doesn’t lie.

22. He freaks out if there’s evidence of you on him

Try this: kiss him while wearing lipstick or leave a little perfume on his shirt. If he panics, changes clothes, or rushes to clean it off, that’s a major sign he’s worried about someone noticing. A guy with nothing to hide wouldn’t stress over a little lipstick smudge.

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Want to go one step further? Try giving him a hickey on his chest, it’s not easily visible unless he’s taking his shirt off for someone else, right?

Dating should feel exciting, not like an episode of CSI. If too many of these signs are lining up, it’s time to step back and reevaluate. You deserve someone who’s emotionally (and relationship-wise) available, no secrets, no double lives. [Read: 26 Best Dating Apps for a Relationship & Secrets to Find Your One!]

📚 Source: D M Markowitz, et al., 2018, Deception in Mobile Dating Conversations

👉 Want to understand a cheater’s mind better? Read these features!

Why Some Guys Hide Their Relationship Status: Psychology & Red Flags

It’s frustrating, confusing, and honestly a little shady, why would a guy flirt with you, act single, and then turn out to have a whole girlfriend on the side?

While it’s easy to label him a “player,” there’s often more going on beneath the surface. Understanding the psychology behind this behavior can help you spot red flags early and protect your heart.

1. He craves validation and ego boosts

Some guys hide their relationship status because they thrive on attention. It’s not always about cheating, sometimes it’s about feeding their ego.

Being desired by someone new gives them a dopamine rush, especially if their current relationship has lost some of its excitement. This isn’t an excuse, but it explains why he might still act single even when he’s taken. [Read: 46 Must-Dos to Rebuild & Regain Trust After Cheating or Lying in a Relationship]

Psychologically, this is linked to narcissistic traits or low self-esteem. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that individuals with anxious or avoidant attachment styles were more likely to engage in romantic deception to maintain emotional control or reassurance. 📚 Source: Phoebe Coyle, 2025, Roles of anxious and avoidant attachment styles in cheating

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[Read: Avoidant Attachment Style: The Types, 32 Symptoms & How to Love One]

2. He compartmentalizes his life

Some men are skilled at separating different parts of their lives. His girlfriend exists in one world, and you, the new, intriguing girl, exist in another.

If he’s emotionally unavailable or commitment-phobic, this mental separation helps him avoid guilt while still enjoying the thrill of new attention. It’s not healthy, but it’s common among people who struggle with emotional intimacy.

3. He’s not fully committed to his current partner

Another reason guys hide their relationship status is because they’re already halfway out. He may be unhappy, bored, or unsure about his current relationship, but not ready to end it. So he dips a toe into the dating pool without officially jumping in.

This “testing the waters” behavior is a major red flag, it shows he’s dishonest, indecisive, and disrespectful to both of you. [Read: Dating vs. Relationship: 16 Clear Signs to Know Your Status Right Now!]

4. He’s keeping his options open

Let’s be real: some men just want to have options. Commitment feels like a trap, especially if he values freedom over loyalty.

By hiding his relationship status, he gets to enjoy the perks of a relationship, emotional support, sex, companionship, while still flirting with others to keep future possibilities open. This is a major red flag for someone who’s emotionally immature or manipulative. [Read: Friendly vs Flirty: 34 Subtle Flirting Signs to Tell If Someone is Flirting With You]

Spot the red flags early

If he’s vague about his weekends, never posts you (or anyone) on his socials, or gets cagey when you ask personal questions, your gut might be onto something.

The bottom line? If someone is truly single and emotionally available, they won’t make you wonder if they’re hiding something. Transparency is a basic part of respect, and if he can’t offer that, he’s not worth your energy. [Read: 55 Personal Questions to Ask Someone to Make Them Open Up & Talk to You]

Should You Confront Him or Walk Away? What to Do If You Suspect He Has a Girlfriend

So, you’re getting the vibe that he might not be as single as he claims. Maybe it’s the way he only texts late at night, or how he dodges any photos together like you’re a vampire and he’s holding garlic.

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Whatever it is, your gut is whispering something’s off, and you’re wondering, “Should I confront him… or just walk away?”

Here’s how to decide what to do next if you suspect he has a girlfriend, without losing your cool, or your self-respect.

1. Check your evidence before you act

Before you go full detective mode or call him out, pause. Are your suspicions based on solid patterns, or just one weird moment?

Look for repeated behaviors, like hiding his phone, avoiding weekends, or never introducing you to friends. One flaky text isn’t enough, but a pattern of secrecy? That’s worth paying attention to. [Read: 25 Secrets to Catch a Cheater Red-Handed In the Act & With the Right Proof!]

2. Ask yourself what you want to know, and why

What’s your goal here? Do you want the truth because you’re emotionally invested? Or are you just trying to confirm your suspicions so you can walk away guilt-free? Knowing your own intentions will help you decide how to approach the situation, and whether confronting him is even worth it. [Read: Emotionally Invested: 18 Things You MUST Know Before Going All-In In Love]

3. If you do confront him, stay calm and curious

If you choose to bring it up, keep it casual and non-accusatory. You’re not on trial, and neither is he, yet.

Try something like, “Hey, I’ve noticed a few things that make me wonder if you’re seeing someone else. Can I ask you something honestly?” This way, you’re giving him space to be honest without feeling attacked. [Read: 60 Casual Questions to Ask Someone You Just Met to Read Them Like a Book]

4. Watch his reaction more than his answer

Sometimes, the truth isn’t in what he says, it’s in how he says it. Does he get defensive? Laugh it off? Deflect? Or does he give you a straight answer and seem genuinely open?

People who have nothing to hide usually don’t act like you’ve just accused them of international espionage. 📚 Source: Vrij et al., 2008, Nonverbal and Verbal Cues for Deception

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5. If it feels shady, trust that feeling

Even if he denies it, if your gut is still screaming, “Nope, something’s not right,” don’t ignore that inner voice. You don’t owe anyone endless chances to prove they’re not lying. You owe yourself peace of mind, clarity, and honesty.

6. Know when to walk away

If he’s dodging questions, gaslighting you, or giving inconsistent stories, it’s okay to walk away, even without a full confession. You don’t need proof to leave someone who makes you feel unsure, anxious, or like you’re playing second string.

In the end, it’s not just about whether he has a girlfriend, it’s about whether he’s showing up for you with honesty and respect. If he’s not, that answer is more than enough.

👉 Looking for more guides on cheating boyfriend? Read these features!

How to Ask If He’s Taken Without Sounding Awkward

So, you’re vibing with a guy, the chemistry is on point, and your stomach does a little flip every time he texts you. But you keep wondering: Is he actually single?

You don’t want to come off as clingy or paranoid, but you also don’t want to be the “other woman” without realizing it. The trick? Ask the right way, at the right time, with the right tone.

1. Keep it casual (but clear)

The best way to ask if a guy has a girlfriend is to keep it light and conversational. You don’t need to interrogate him like you’re on a true crime podcast. Instead, slide it into a moment when you’re already talking about relationships, dating, or weekend plans. Try something like:

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“So, are you seeing anyone right now?”
or
“I always assume attractive guys are taken, what’s your situation?”

It’s playful, non-accusatory, and gives him the chance to be honest without feeling cornered.

2. Use humor to break the tension

If you’re worried about it getting awkward, use humor as a buffer. Humor lowers defenses and makes the question feel less like a trap. For example:

“Okay, this might sound like a weird question, but I need to know, am I flirting with someone’s boyfriend right now?”

Delivered with a laugh or a smile, this kind of line makes your intentions clear while keeping the tone easygoing.

3. Let your curiosity lead

If you’re getting to know him, curiosity is your best friend. People love talking about themselves, so you can use that to your advantage:

“You seem like someone who would be snapped up already, what’s your dating life like these days?”

This way, you’re not just asking if he’s taken, you’re inviting him to share more about his relationship status (or lack of one) in a way that feels natural and flattering. [Read: Are You More Than Friends? 17 Signs You’ve Gone From Talking to Dating]

4. Pay attention to how he answers

Sometimes, the answer is less about what he says and more about how he says it. If he dodges the question, gets vague, or suddenly changes the subject, that’s a red flag. Research shows that people who are hiding something tend to use fewer personal pronouns and give shorter answers when asked directly about deceptive topics. [Read: 42 Signs & Ways to See Manipulative Behavior & Stop Being Used By People]

5. Trust the vibe

If asking him feels like walking on eggshells, that’s already telling you something. A guy who’s genuinely single and interested won’t make it weird. He’ll be open, maybe even flattered that you asked. But if he gets defensive or overly vague? That’s your cue to step back and reassess.

Bottom line: You’re not being nosy, you’re protecting your heart. And there’s nothing awkward about that.

What to Do If You’re the “Other Woman”

So, you’ve just had that horrible, sinking realization: the guy you’ve been dating might already have a girlfriend, and you’re the “other woman.”

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Whether you found out by accident, through a friend, or by connecting the dots yourself, the emotional whiplash is real. First of all, take a deep breath. You are not alone, and this does not define your worth.

1. Don’t blame yourself for what you didn’t know

If you were genuinely unaware that he was already taken, this isn’t your fault. Deception is a choice, his choice. Many guys who cheat or double-date are skilled at hiding their relationship status.

Research shows that people who engage in infidelity often employ tactics like strategic omission or outright lying to maintain multiple relationships without detection. 📚 Source: A J Blow et al., 2005, Infidelity in Committed Relationships

2. Don’t stay in denial, get clarity

If you’re still unsure whether you’re the side girl, look for clear signs: Is he emotionally unavailable? Does he avoid posting about you on social media? Does he disappear on weekends or dodge introducing you to his friends? If the signs are all there, trust them. Clarity is the first step toward empowerment. [Read: Uh Oh! Attracted to a Friend? 33 Tips on Whether to Pursue or Back Off]

3. Set boundaries, immediately

Once you know the truth, ask yourself: Do you want to be in a relationship where you’re hidden, lied to, or treated like a backup plan?

If the answer is no (and it should be), then it’s time to walk away. Block, unfollow, mute, whatever protects your peace. You don’t need a dramatic confrontation to choose yourself.

4. Process your emotions with compassion

Being the other woman, even unknowingly, can stir up intense feelings, anger, embarrassment, betrayal, even guilt.

Allow yourself to feel them, but don’t let them define your identity. Journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or seeing a therapist can help you process everything and move forward stronger. [Read: 22 Truths & Mistakes of Being the Other Woman in Love with a Married Man]

5. Reflect on what you want from a relationship

This is a powerful moment for self-reflection. What kind of love do you want? What kind of partner do you deserve?

Use this experience not as a reason to close off your heart, but as a lesson in what you’ll never tolerate again. Healthy relationships are built on honesty, consistency, and respect, never secrecy.

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6. Don’t compete, choose peace

If you’re tempted to confront his girlfriend or “win” him over, pause. This isn’t a competition, and you deserve a relationship where you’re the only one, not the one who has to fight for scraps of attention. Real love doesn’t come with drama, lies, and late-night guilt. [Read: 35 Signs Your Rocky Relationship Deserves a Second Chance & When To Let Go]

Remember: being lied to doesn’t make you weak. Choosing to walk away with grace makes you powerful.

Red Flags vs. Misunderstandings: How to Tell the Difference

We’ve all had that moment where something just feels… off. He didn’t text back for hours, or suddenly changed plans last-minute. Your gut whispers, “Is he hiding something?”, but then your brain counters, “Or am I just overthinking it?” This section is here to help you figure out whether you’re picking up on real red flags, or just stuck in a misunderstanding loop. [Read: Is He Hiding Something? 20 Signs He Feels Guilty for Hurting You]

1. Red flags are patterns, not one-offs

Everyone has off days. Maybe he really did leave his phone at home, or maybe he was busy with work. But if he’s consistently unavailable during evenings or weekends, avoids letting you near his phone, and dodges questions about his personal life? That’s not a one-off, that’s a pattern.

Psychologists call this “behavioral consistency,” which is often a more reliable indicator of someone’s true intentions than their words. If his actions repeatedly don’t align with what he tells you, it’s worth paying attention. 📚 Source: Funder & Colvin, 1991, Explorations in Behavioral Consistency

2. Misunderstandings usually clear up with honest communication

If you ask a guy a simple question like, “Are you seeing anyone?” and he answers directly, that’s a good sign. Misunderstandings tend to dissolve when there’s open conversation.

But if he gets defensive, evades the question, or turns it back on you (“Why are you asking that?”), that’s a clue he might be hiding something.

Healthy people in healthy relationships don’t fear clarity. If he’s genuinely single and interested in you, he won’t mind being transparent. [Read: 38 Signs & Traits of a Happy, Healthy Relationship & What It Should Look Like]

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3. Red flags make you feel confused or anxious, often for no clear reason

One of the most overlooked signs of a red flag is how you feel around the person. If you constantly feel unsure where you stand, or if you second-guess yourself more than usual, that’s not just insecurity, it might be your intuition picking up on something real.

Research shows that our brains are wired to detect subtle cues of dishonesty or inconsistency, even before we consciously process them. That “weird vibe” isn’t your imagination, it’s your subconscious trying to protect you. 📚 Source: DePaulo et al., 2003, Cues to Deception

4. Misunderstandings usually come with context

Let’s say he doesn’t invite you to his place, did he explain why? Maybe he has roommates, family obligations, or it’s just messy. If his reason makes sense and he follows up with actions that show he’s interested (like planning future dates or introducing you to friends), it’s likely just a misunderstanding, not a red flag. [Read: 30 Reasons Why He’s Texting You When He’s Not Interested & Ways to Handle It]

5. Red flags involve secrecy, not privacy

There’s a difference between being a private person and being secretive. Privacy is not posting every date on Instagram. Secrecy is not wanting to be seen in public with you, hiding his phone, or refusing to let you meet anyone in his life. If you feel like he’s keeping you in a bubble, that’s not privacy, it’s a wall.

If something feels off and you can’t shake it, don’t ignore that. Red flags don’t always wave wildly, they often whisper. Your job is to listen and look for the bigger picture.

Why Trusting Your Gut Matters More Than You Think

When it comes to figuring out if a guy secretly has a girlfriend, your intuition isn’t just a random feeling, it’s your brain picking up on subtle cues that your conscious mind hasn’t fully processed yet. That uneasy vibe you can’t quite explain? It’s often your subconscious connecting the dots before you do. [Read: 29 Signs & Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend Before Moving In]

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Research in psychology supports this. Studies show that our gut feelings are often based on real, rapid-fire pattern recognition, your brain quietly noticing inconsistencies in someone’s behavior, tone, or even body language. 📚 Source: Dunn et al., 2010, The Role of Intuition in Decision-Making

So if something feels off, like he’s dodging questions, acting overly private, or giving you mixed signals, don’t ignore that internal nudge.

Your gut is a powerful tool, especially when facts are fuzzy and emotions are high. Even if you don’t have “proof” yet, that nagging suspicion is worth paying attention to. [Read: Mixed Signals: Why People Use Them, 23 Signs, Types & How to React to It]

Trusting yourself doesn’t mean jumping to conclusions; it means giving your instincts the credit they deserve. If your intuition is whispering that something’s not right, that’s reason enough to pause, observe more closely, and protect your heart.

Better Safe Than Sorry

When it comes to love, attraction, and all the confusing signals in between, it’s easy to get swept up in the moment and ignore the little things that don’t quite add up. But if you suspect he has a girlfriend, even if he’s acting single, it’s always smarter to pause, observe, and protect your heart. [Read: Being Single Vs. In a Relationship: 18 Pros, Cons & Things You MUST Know]

It’s not about being paranoid. It’s about respecting yourself enough to ask the right questions and walk away when something feels off. If a guy is hiding his relationship status, that’s not mysterious, it’s misleading. And you deserve transparency, not emotional guessing games.

At the end of the day, your time, energy, and emotional safety are precious. So if your gut is waving red flags, don’t ignore them. Trust yourself, ask what you need to ask, and remember: it’s always better to walk away early than to stay and regret it later.

Know the Signs, Trust the Vibe, Protect Your Peace

If you’ve been playing emotional detective trying to figure out whether he’s single or just really good at pretending, now you’ve got the full toolkit.

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The signs he has a girlfriend aren’t always obvious, but once you know what to look for, they’re hard to unsee. From sketchy social media habits to disappearing on weekends, the red flags aren’t just coincidences, they’re clues.

And while it’s tempting to give someone the benefit of the doubt, remember: mystery is sexy in a movie, not in your dating life.

A guy who’s genuinely single and into you won’t make you feel like a secret or a second option. He’ll show up, not just slide into your DMs at 11 PM.

[Read: 19 Secrets to Open Up to Someone You’re Dating Even If You’re Scared]

If your gut says something’s off, trust it. The signs he has a girlfriend are there for a reason, and you deserve someone who’s emotionally available, not emotionally MIA.