Knowing how to gain confidence again after your self-esteem takes a hit is really important. There will be SO many times in your life where you feel down about yourself and will need to give yourself a boost.
You need to know how to make yourself feel good again after a rough time. You may even just suffer from low self-esteem and that’s why you want to learn how to gain confidence. No matter the reason, we’re here to help.
The negative effects low self-esteem can have on a person
Confidence is useful for so many things. Oftentimes, people don’t realize just how beneficial having great confidence is. Not only will you feel better, you’ll do better at work, you’ll be more active in your social life, and it can even make your relationships healthier.
But on the flip side, low self-esteem and not having confidence can harm all of those things. Your relationships will be toxic because there’ll always be jealousy and you’ll be unhappy all around. [Read: 10 signs of low self-esteem and how to increase it]
How to gain confidence and make a better life for yourself
If you want to learn how to gain confidence, you’ve come to the right place. It might take some time and you may have to work hard at it, but you can build your self-esteem back up and find happiness in yourself and your life. Here’s how to do just that.
#1 Make a list of everything you love about yourself. Right now. I mean it! Sit down with a sheet of paper and write down every single thing you love about yourself. If the list isn’t that long right now, that’s okay.
As you implement the below changes in your life, it’ll grow exponentially. This will help you bring light to your amazing qualities while diminishing your flaws. We’ve all got flaws, but if we dwell on them, we’ll only hurt ourselves. [Read: 6 reasons to love yourself before loving another]
#2 Get rid of the negative people in your life. We all have those few people who are just the worst. They may not realize it, but they bring you down and they make your self-esteem drop significantly.
A lot of times, this can be someone who has a habit of pointing out your flaws or the flaws of others who are similar to you. If someone makes you feel insecure, don’t be around them at all.
The only exception to this is if someone makes you feel insecure because of how confident they are. In this case, you should cling to them. Their confidence is contagious and you can learn a lot about how to gain confidence just by being around them.
#3 Stop pinpointing your flaws. It’s really easy to look in front of a mirror and be like, “my nose has a little bit of a bump to it,” or “my eyebrows are way too uneven and I’ll never be able to fix it.”
Those are simple things to say. They’re easy things to see, but you can’t do that. It will only bring your self-esteem down and you’ll never be able to learn how to gain confidence. You have to stop yourself when you do this. Instead, focus on the great things. Your eyebrows may be slightly uneven, but at least they’re full and you actually have some. [Read: How to fall in love with yourself and be a better you]
#4 Stop complaining about things you can’t change. You’ll never be able to change your bone structure. Sure, you could get a nose job if you really wanted to spend thousands of dollars. However, that’s not likely.
Accept the things you can’t change. Your eyes are brown and they’re beautiful. There’s no need to want to change that and you can’t. So why dwell on it? Your hair is thin, so what? You can’t alter that, so don’t complain about it.
#5 Change the things you’re able to. If you are able to change something you don’t like, then do it. Quit complaining and start taking action. Are you a little overweight? Then eat right and exercise. Do you not like your job? Look for a better one while looking for things to like at your current job.
The only thing standing in the way of you and knowing how to gain confidence is what you choose to do. You could complain about things that you have the power to change that will only make you feel worse, or you can do something about it and have confidence. [Read: 12 steps to make a change and find your happiness]
#6 Hit the gym. This is less about looking better and has way more to do with feeling great from the inside. Do you know what endorphins are? You should. They’re hormones that are released during exercise and other activities that boost your mood. When you feel better physically, you’ll feel better mentally, too.
#7 Acknowledge your great qualities. I recently had someone make a very sarcastic comment about how “humble” I was. This was said following me commenting on how clever something that I said was. They said it in a negative way and I was honestly just confused.
Why is it wrong to point out when I’ve done something clever? It made me feel great to verbalize something clever that I said. I made a point to acknowledge it. You should too. Don’t be afraid of telling others about how great you are. It’ll help your confidence a LOT. [Read: 35 funny things to say that’ll build your confidence]
#8 Change your body language. If you lack self-esteem, you often sit with your shoulders slumped, you don’t make eye contact, and you rarely speak up during group conversations or meetings. That all has to change. In order to gain confidence, you need to act like you have confidence.
The phrase, “Fake it ‘til you make it,” actually works in this case. When you start sitting up straight and making firm eye contact and even speaking up about the great ideas you have when in a group setting, confidence will happen naturally.
#9 Stop thinking negatively. The great thing about our brains is that we can actually control what we think about. YES! That’s actually something we can do. If you notice you’re in a negative headspace and are putting yourself down, just stop.
Instead, start thinking positive things only. After a while, your brain will rewire itself to do this automatically and those negative thoughts will be much less frequent. And that means you’ll feel way more confidence. [Read: How to stop having negative thoughts that drag you down]
#10 Look at your list of great qualities when you feel down. If you feel upset about yourself, pull out that handy list I had you create and take a look at it. Any time you notice another great thing about yourself, you should be writing it there.
That way, when you aren’t feeling very confident, you have a source created by you that tells you just how great you really are. Remember the things you write down. You really are incredible and have so much to offer the world. Remembering this will help you feel more confident.
[Read: 16 ways to build self-confidence and realize you’re worth it]
Knowing how to gain confidence is all about recognizing the great things you have to offer and forgetting your flaws. Nobody is perfect but if you start appreciating yourself, you’ll have more confidence.
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