Just because you’re you doesn’t mean you actually know who you are. As confusing as that sounds, it’s true. You have to actively figure out how to get to know yourself in order to start enjoying life in the way you want.
The reason we don’t really know who we are automatically is because we’re too close to ourselves. Our perception of who we are is tainted by who we want to be and what we aspire for in life. But the thing is, we’re not our wants and dreams.
Have you ever met one of these people? They just seem to see through you in ways you can’t describe. They know you better than you even knew yourself. People like this often end up in the field of psychology and some even become psychologists and therapists.
The reason they can get to know you is simply because they can see your actions from an outside perspective. They see what you do and listen to what you say and can determine who you really are even if you’re blind to it yourself. [Read: How to become more emotionally available]
If you want to stop being blind to the person you truly are, you’ll have to work for it. It’s not automatic and sometimes it can even be quite difficult for people. In order to learn how your mind works and the way you really see the world, follow some of these tips.
#1 Spend time alone. Most people don’t realize how much others influence them. Spending so much time with one person can make you take on their personality traits. After a while, you might not even remember what you were like before you got to know them.
Spending time alone will help you figure out what you really like to do and what you want in life. You’ll get to know yourself much better if someone else isn’t influencing you all the time. [Read: 8 ways to have more me time with a hectic schedule]
#2 Analyze your reactions to certain situations. When you get upset about something, ask yourself why. Figure out what specifically triggered your bout of unease. Sit yourself down and get to the bottom of it.
Usually, this will help you pinpoint sensitive spots and why you behave that way. Figuring this out will help you know yourself a little bit better.
#3 Follow your passions. Think about what you love to do more than anything else. Now do that more and do it better. Our passions are at the core of who we are and by following yours, you’ll discover even more about yourself.
#4 Think about what makes you the most angry. Behind our anger is passion. This is almost always true and if you think about the times you’ve been the angriest, you’ll probably learn something extremely important about yourself. [Read: How to stop being angry and finally free yourself]
#5 Cut out toxic people. Who you truly are can be hidden if you’re always around toxic people. They drag you down and keep you from truly revealing yourself. Get rid of them. You should never allow room for those types of people in your life – especially if you want to figure out who you are.
#6 Write in a journal. Most of us don’t analyze our everyday lives. We don’t sit there and think about the decisions we made and why. When you write in a journal, you see your life from a different perspective.
You don’t even have to write about anything extensive or complex. Afterward, read back through what you’ve written and you’ll have a far better understanding of who you are.
#7 Discover your core values. We’ve all got things we believe in more than anything else. That’s what we value most. Once you figure those out, you’ll understand who you are at your very core. Don’t shy away from figuring out what you value. [Read: How to be a high value woman]
#8 Think about morals and what you believe in. Morals shape our behavior and not everyone has the same ones. Some people think it’s perfectly fine to lie to friends while others think it’s completely wrong.
What do you believe in? Ask yourself that question and when it’s answered, you’ll know yourself a little bit better than you did before.
#9 Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. The more comfortable you are around people, the more of your true self will immerge. When we feel judged or uneasy around people, we hide.
In order to learn how to get to know yourself, you can’t hide from who you are. That means you need to be able to show that side of you and that can only happen around those you like and trust.
#10 Get physical. Exercise and go climb mountains and jump off cliffs into deep water. Getting to know yourself is just as physical as it is mental and emotional. Your body can do amazing things. Figure out what your limits are and how far you can push them. [Read: 12 benefits of exercise on your mind and body]
#11 Experience new things. You can’t grow and learn about yourself as a person if your life is exactly the same day in and day out. So get out there and do more things! Go to concerts and go on trips. Visit friends from far away and go on vacation alone.
#12 Do stuff that terrifies you. Fear is the limit at which we trust and know ourselves. If you go beyond that, you learn what you’re truly capable of. Obviously, don’t go doing anything dangerous that could get you hurt, but face your fears and do it anyway.
#13 Push yourself to accomplish goals you never thought you could. You only think you’re capable of doing what you’ve already done. In order to get to know yourself better, push those boundaries.
Aim for goals that you don’t think you can accomplish and then surpass them. Once you reach that point, you’ll realize what type of person you are and just how hard you can really work. [Read: 16 strategies to get your shit together]
#14 Talk to people you normally wouldn’t. It’s crazy how much other people can show you different sides of yourself. If you see someone at the bus stop and you normally would never start a conversation, say hello.
Talk to them and see what they might be able to show you about yourself. You never know how much someone can pull certain things about you to the surface.
#15 Get uncomfortable. The truth about who we are comes out most when we’re uncomfortable. That’s not necessarily a bad place to be, either. Usually, discomfort stems from the unknown or even from fear. Do things that make you uncomfortable, but that you can still handle and you’ll learn a lot more about yourself.
[Read: 8 questions to help you get to know yourself]
The process of learning how to get to know yourself can often be a long one. Some people go their whole lives and never truly know. Get ahead of the game by doing these things throughout your life.
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