For guys living in the era of instant messaging, texting can be still be considered as the primary means of initiating a conversation with a girl, especially if she’s someone whose number you just got. To keep things going forward, understanding the rules for texting a girl is essential.
Texting provides all the conveniences without the awkward fidgeting and stuttering that could happen in a phone call or a face to face conversation. However, the convenience and sense of anonymity also leads to certain unsavory behavior behind the keypad.
Texting girls right – The rules for texting a girl
We assume that when a guy texts a girl, he wants her to keep texting back. Because who knows? Continued texting can lead to phone calls, then dates, and even possibly a relationship. What you don’t want is for the texting to end prematurely because of a stupid mistake. Which is why you need to keep in mind the do’s and don’ts when texting a girl.
#1 Introduce yourself when texting the first time. Just for good measure, since not all girls are keen in remembering every name they encounter in places. This also gives you a chance to come up with creative ways to make her remember and keep texting with you. [Read: How to text a girl for the first time]
#2 Keep it short, simple, and straightforward for the first few texts. In the same way you don’t get too friendly and familiar with someone you just met, keep the first messages clean and simple by not adding too much information she may not be interested in. Say what you must say with a little flourish and keep the familiar tone for later. [Read: 25 flirty questions to ask a girl you like]
#3 Keep your text messages light and casual at first. Don’t text her the first time asking about what she feels about the current political situation. Start with topics easily digestible and answered. If you do send an opening message that is too strong, she may get weirded out. Starting the texting relationship with casual, introductory topics keep the messages flowing.
#4 Check your grammar and use proper sentences. Texting shorthand *aka textspeak* was acceptable in the late 90s when mobile phones had a constrained character limit, but with more powerful phones nowadays, still sticking to unintelligible compressed words leads either to confusion, or you look like you failed English class back in high school.
So be a proper human being and use proper words when texting her. It makes you look smart and you convey your thoughts clearly.
#5 Be respectful at all times. As mentioned, some guys feel that they can get away with disrespectful text messages because they’re not communicating face to face. Being disrespectful not only leads to an awkward confrontation but also lessens the chance for continued communication.
In addition, keep in mind text messages can be saved and used as evidence for harassment in a court of law. [Read: 15 ways to effortlessly have game with the ladies]
#6 Be confident and straightforward with what you want to say. If you want to ask her out, ask her out, and if you want to compliment her for something, then go ahead. Girls love a guy who speaks their mind. Someone who directly tells them what they feel.
#7 Reply when the conversation requires. Because replying to a text message is basically good manners. And if you tend to reply too late it seems to her that you’re not interested in her. So be mindful of your inbox.
#8 Flirt with her. Start with sweet and not sexual. Once you enter into her domain of trust and confidence, test the waters by sending snappy and playful flirting texts to keep her on her toes and hooked with texting you.
#9 Drink and text. Texting girls while under the influence of alcohol is never a good idea. We’re pretty sure that depending on the level of your intoxication, you’ll end up humiliating yourself by saying something stupid and overtly sexual. That is, if your motor skills still allow you to type. [Read: How to avoid the awkward drama of drunk texting]
#10 Text her too much. Don’t text her like you’re an NBA courtside commentator with minute updates. Texting too much makes you look (1) desperate for attention, (2) you’re trying too hard, and (3) like a creep. Because from the receiving end of too many text messages, it feels annoying and overwhelming to reply to a mass of text messages. As much as possible, send the same amount of texts that you get from her. [Read: How often should you text a girl? The complete guide]
#11 Get angry when she doesn’t reply immediately. Ask her if she’s okay at first. She might be going through something. Getting angry at her for not replying especially if you’re not in a relationship is downright outrageous. It will not end well for the texting relationship.
#12 Flood her with emoticons. Don’t use emoticons like punctuation marks. Too many emoticons make your text messages hard to read. Oftentimes they even make your message lose context. Think of emoticons as a sort of flourish to text messages. Using too many make it lose its appeal. [Read: Texting etiquette – 20 unwritten rules of savvy flirting]
#13 Start texting her at unreasonable times. Like whenever she’s at work, school, or about to sleep. Short, one-shot messages are fine, but starting a drawn out conversation whenever she’s busy only disappoints you and annoys her at the same time.
#14 Overwhelm her in a text conversation. Even though it’s text, it’s still a conversation. And conversations call for both participants to take either the role of the speaker and the listener.
If you’re talking about a particular topic, stay on that topic until there’s nothing to say about it anymore. Don’t introduce new topics in the middle of her reply. It’s akin to talking over her in an actual conversation. [Read: Are you texting too much? 11 signs she thinks you’re a clingy texter]
#15 Use inappropriate language. Especially words that attack her femininity. If you’re one of those types deluded that all girls fall for bad boys at one form or another, maybe forget about texting at all.
[Read: 15 text conversation starters for the shy and socially awkward]
But even though texting provides the safety and comfort of not having to face the other person at the end of the line, it is still governed by the rules of an actual conversation. To sum it up, follow these rules for texting a girl and behave in a way to keep the messages flowing.
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