Are you looking to earn your girl’s trust, but you don’t want to trigger the drama when her defensiveness crops up? Here’s how you can do that.
Trust issues are rife in the dating world! That’s why gaining the trust of the girl you are just starting to date can be a challenge. Oftentimes girls have trust issues because of their last relationship, their childhood, the way they were treated by loved ones, and a bunch of other reasons.
The girl whom you are starting to date may be hesitant to get too close to you, because she may be afraid that you’d end up hurting her once she opens up. She may really like you, but she may also need some sort of sign that she can trust you. You can’t really blame her for that. After all, like any issue worth resolving, it won’t be resolved at the drop of a hat.
So the question remains: how can you make a girl feel at ease enough with you to trust you?
How to gain a girl’s trust
While no two women have the exact same relationship issues, you can still use these tips to try and ease her into finally trusting you.
#1 Don’t pressure her. If your girl tells you that she is not ready to meet your friends, or go on a trip with you, or even sleep with you, whatever the case may be, don’t pressure her. Pressuring her is only likely to make her more resistant to do the things you want to do with her.
She has boundaries for a good reason. In order to win her trust, you really need to respect these boundaries, and allow her to take risks according to her own level of comfort with them.
#2 Communicate with her. Communicating effectively with your girlfriend can help her to realize that you care about her emotional wellbeing. This will go a long way to helping her to feel safe around you.
If she feels that she can express herself and speak with you in a healthy way whenever she needs to, this shows her that she can open up to you, and thus, let her know that she’s in good hands. Of course, you also have to be understanding and responsive towards her, in order to show her that you genuinely care for her. [Read: 10 biggest relationship problems and how to fix them]
#3 Be patient. Although you may want to rush into deeper levels of connection, you may really have to wait some time before she is ready. Sometimes all you can do is just wait it out, and try not to stir the emotional pot while she is getting used to you.
#4 Spend a lot of time with her. Spending time with her will help her get used to you. Trust will naturally build after you spend more time with her and she realizes that you are someone she can feel comfortable around. Open up to her, and let her see the different sides of you, whether you’re feeling excited or sad or frustrated. Showing her your true colors will help her decide if you are indeed worthy of her trust.
#5 Make her laugh. If you can get her to laugh, it will help her to let her guard down and put her at ease. Laughter goes along with happiness and comfort, and these are things you want her to associate with your company.
#6 Ask her what you can do to help her trust you. Although it may seem a bit strange at first, asking her if there is anything that you can do to help her feel comfortable may be effective. For example, some women who have been cheated on may feel more at ease if they can have a glimpse of your social media account or your phone every once in a while. It tells her that you’re different from the jerk who hurt her before. [Read: How to get over trust issues in your relationship]
#7 Show her that you care about her. If you can get her some cute gifts or do some thoughtful gestures whenever you can, it can really go a long way in terms of getting her to trust you. For instance, you can cook her a meal or offer to run some of her errands or just give some flowers from time to time.
Part of the reason why she is taking so long to trust you is because she is probably trying to figure out if it is safe to let her heart become invested in you. So if you show her that you care about her, it will be easier for her to tell that it is safe to fall for you.
#8 Don’t check out other girls in her presence. This one’s a no brainer! If a beautiful woman walks by, it can be extremely difficult at times not to give her a glance. But if you know that glancing at a pretty stranger will make your girlfriend think that you’ve got wandering eyes, it definitely won’t be worth it, right?
#9 Give her compliments. Compliments go a long way when it comes to boosting a woman’s self-esteem. When you do this for her, you’re showing her that you appreciate her, and a woman would be more likely to trust someone who appreciates her presence.
Just remember to keep your compliments genuine to avoid sounding like a flatterer. Genuine compliments about her abilities will also fare better than shallow compliments on her looks alone.
#10 Ask her friends for tips. There is a good chance that your girlfriend’s friends understand how she operates. So why not ask them for some advice on how to win over her trust? They may have some really specific tips that can help, such as how to make her feel loved, what gestures she wouldn’t appreciate, and how to avoid offending her with seemingly innocuous statements.
Winning your girl’s trust without losing a limb can be quite a handful at times. You can probably thank her ex-boyfriend for that. However, if you play your cards right, you’ll realize that she can get closer and closer to finally trusting you.
Even though sometimes you may feel like throwing in the towel, if you really like the girl, it is probably worth it to take the emotional journey to gain her trust. That may mean dealing with it when she gets triggered or is defensive, but if you can get through the rough patches, there could be something great waiting on the other side.
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