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How Often Should You Text a Girl? 24 Must-Know Rules of Texting

Girls can be confusing for guys! One big question is how often she wants to talk to you. Here are some guidelines for how often you should text a girl.

How Often Should You Text a Girl

In the early 2010s, texting used to be a luxury only some people would use. It made it convenient to send someone a quick note about something that wasn’t worth calling over. Fast forward to the ’20s and it’s the primary way of conversation with everyone, including girls. And how often should you text a girl is a question most guys wonder at some point or other.

Texting is used a lot in the dating world. Texting helps when it comes to getting to know someone, but there are so many rules attached to it! And somehow, if you mess up on the texting front, it’s not easy to recover.

[Read: The first text to a girl – 19 examples to leave her smiling and wanting more]

Why do such rules exist?

Wouldn’t it be much easier if you could just text a girl all you want without having to worry about some set of rules? Yes, it would. But that’s just not how it is anymore.

The texting rules exist for a reason—to save you from embarrassing yourself and messing it all up.

Rules for dating and relationships are nothing new. In fact, back in the 1990s, there was a book that was written called The Rules. It’s a book written by women, for women. In it, there are a ton of “rules” that women should follow when they are interested in a man. [Read: How not to be dry when texting a girl – 20 ways to keep her hooked]

In a nutshell, the book tells girls to play hard to get with guys. They shouldn’t look too eager. And when they don’t appear easy to get, the guys want them more.

Well, just because there is a whole book written about dating rules for women, that doesn’t mean the guys get off scot-free. They should still follow certain dating rules when they are either interested in a girl – or even in a relationship.

But there is one important thing to remember – girls are testy.

They read way too much into the smallest of things. If you break some of these texting rules, it makes girls think certain things even if you may have meant the opposite. That’s why following the rules is crucial if you want a girl to like you over text. [Read: What to text a girl – Dos, don’ts and all the secrets to know]

Different rules of texting for different situations

The thing about rules for texting is that they vary widely. The reason for this is because not every situation or relationship calls for the same rules.

It really depends on what phase of knowing the girl you are currently in. So here are some guidelines for how often you should text a girl.

1. Just connected on social media

Maybe you just saw her on Instagram or some other media platform, and you thought she was hot. So, you followed her and then DM’d her. She notices you, and starts to pay attention to you.

If this is the situation, you don’t want to bombard her with too many texts. You are complete stranger to her, so you don’t want to come across as a creepy stalker.

Instead, be polite and nice with your communication. Let her take the lead with how often she’d like to talk to you. [Read: How to DM a girl – 30 secrets to slide into her Insta and get a reply]

2. Just met face-to-face in real life

Maybe you just met in class, at the gym, or at work. You have struck up conversations, and you think she may like you. At the very least, she could probably see you as a friend.

At this point, you should wait a little while to ask for her number. You should probably even connect with her on social media first. You want to know her a little more before you jump into communicating via text.

And again, contact her once in a while, but make it relevant to how you know her. You could text her a question from class, about work, or anything that is related to how you met her. [Read: Texting etiquette and flirting – 26 rules guys and girls must follow]

3. You have known her for a few months

Now that you have known her for a few months, you have a better idea of what kind of dynamic the two of you have. Hopefully, by now you have gotten a good feel for her level of interest. Try to notice things like this:

Does she text you first? Does she respond right away? Does she seem to want to keep the conversations going? [Read: How to tell if a girl likes you over text – 28 signs you just can’t miss]

4. You have known her for years

If you know her really well, then you can be a little more relaxed with how often you text the girl. Because you are not a stranger or someone she just started talking to, she will be much more comfortable talking to you.

But even now, you still don’t know her level of interest. She may just like you as a friend – which is fine. You should figure out how you feel about her too. Do you see her as just a friend? Or do you think you would like to date her? [Read: What to text a girl you like – 15 ways to make her love texting you]

5. You are friends with her, but now you have romantic feelings

In this situation, you are good friends. This can be a tricky one, because not only you have established a good friendship, you probably have some sort of communication routine already in place.

But if you want to take it to the next level and try to express your romantic interest in her *and gauge how she is feeling*, then you might want to start to text her more often.

By doing this, she might get the hint that you are seeing her as something more than just a friend. [Read: How to subtly tease a girl over text and get her to flirt back with you]

6. You are newly dating her

If you just met her *like on a dating app* and had no previous established relationship, then you really need to look out for signs, so you can get an idea of how she feels about you. You want to see how interested she is before you start communicating too much.

However, if you don’t text her enough, then she will get the idea that you don’t like her. So, at this point, you should send “good morning” and/or “good night” texts. Then casually send her a text or two in the afternoon to see how her day is going. [Read: 18 casual things to text a girl and leave her addicted to you]

7. You are in a committed, long-term relationship or married

When you are in an established relationship and you want to know how often to text your girlfriend, then the rules can be relaxed a lot.

By this time, you know each other pretty well and you obviously really like each other a lot – or maybe you’re even deeply in love.

At this point, just do what feels right! You don’t really need to worry too much about how often to text a girl now. But keep in mind that many women like to keep in pretty steady communication with their significant other. So, don’t get too lazy and ignore her. She still wants to hear from you throughout the day. [Read: 35 really sweet and cute texts to send your girl and make her go awww…]

Other rules for how often should you text a girl

As we just discussed, there are a lot of rules for different situations. Sometimes you should text her a lot, and other times pull back and give her a chance to respond first.

So, the better question to answer would be, when should you and when should you not text a girl. Here’s your texting guide to help save you from messing everything up with a girl you like. [Read: Am I texting too much? 16 signs they think you’re a clingy texter]

When you should text a girl

Now that you know the basic rules of when to text a girl, here are the other rules you must follow, if you want to leave a great impression on her, and leave her thinking warmly of you!

1. After you got her number

If you just got her number and wait forever to text her, she’ll think you aren’t interested in her and move on.

Text her within a few hours of receiving her number to let her know who it is and to strike up a conversation to get to know her. [Read: Texting your crush: A step-by-step guide to doing it right]

2. After a date

Some people think the classic, “I had a great time!” text after a date is boring and overdone, but it’s still appreciated. The trick is to do this in a unique way. Maybe you start by bringing up a topic you discussed or quipping back to a joke she made earlier.

Both of those show you enjoyed yourself and that you paid attention. Just don’t do this directly after the date. Wait a few hours, or even wait until the next day. [Read: The texting and follow-up guide after a great first date]

3. When she seems to be talkative

Here’s another guideline for how often you should text a girl. If your conversation started off great, and you dived into really good topics and she seems to be in a talkative mood, keep texting her.

Don’t cut the conversation off if you can help it. Girls like long, meaningful conversations. If you ditch out right when they get going, it looks bad.

4. When you think about her

If you think about her during the day, send her a cute text saying so. It doesn’t even have to be anything elaborate.

Something as little as, “Hey! I hope your day is going well, thinking about you,” is more than enough to make her smile and enjoy seeing your name pop up on her screen. [Read: How to tell a girl you miss her – 15 texts that aren’t needy at all]

5. If something reminded you of her

If you scroll through your phone and a funny picture or video that reminds you of her, send her a text!

It doesn’t matter what time of day it is *as long as it’s not too late*, she’ll be happy to get it. Knowing something made you think of her would make her so happy.

6. When you haven’t heard from her all day

If you usually talk regularly and you haven’t heard from her that day, it’s safe to send a text without worrying about being annoying.

Making it cute and lighthearted like “Hey stranger, how’s your day going?” definitely helps. [Read: 25 fun and cute ways to say “hi” in a text message casually]

7. When you have something to ask her

If you just have a quick question to ask her, it really doesn’t matter when you text her. If it’s not something she answered a million times, text her questions as much as you want.

Obviously, without being annoying and making it seem like an interview. [Read: Texting etiquette – 20 unwritten rules of savvy text flirting]

When you shouldn’t text a girl

Now that you know when you should text a girl, now let’s talk about when you should NOT text her.

1. If she’s upset/angry

The best thing to do for a girl who feels angry or upset is to NOT put yourself in the middle of it. Sometimes, we get really annoyed if you’re texting us when you know we’re in a terrible mood because we’re just more irritable when we’re upset.

2. If it’s past 10 p.m.

That is, if you try to start a conversation that late. The reason for this is that you don’t want to make her seem like a booty call.

And texting her this late—especially if it’s for the first time that day—sends the wrong message. If you’re already talking and you continue past this time, you’re fine. [Read: When she doesn’t text back – Why girls do that and what you need to do]

3. When you know she’s busy

If you know she’s at work or busy with errands and you keep texting her, she’ll get really pissed really fast.

It’s annoying and you know she’s busy. Leave her alone to get her work done. This is a good rule for how often to text a girl.

4. When she’s out with the girls

The worst thing is texting a girl when she’s out with her friends. It’s her time to let loose and enjoy time with her friends.

If you start texting her—especially back-to-back with no response—it seems like you’re possessive. Huge turn-off! [Read: 18 very serious warning signs of a clingy guy all girls completely avoid]

5. If she hasn’t responded to your last text

Don’t send texts repeatedly. If she hasn’t responded to your previous one and it’s only been a couple of hours, sending another text annoys her. She starts to think you’re a little possessive and needy. [Read: Double texting – What it is, how to avoid it and 15 must-follow rules]

6. If you’re not into her

Why would you keep leading a girl on if you know you’re not into her? If you just text her to “keep your options open” just stop. There’s no need to do that and be a jerk.

Don’t go texting girls you don’t even like—unless you’re just friends.

7. If you’re just bored

A girl shouldn’t be your form of entertainment. If she’s fun to talk to, great! But don’t use her to keep you entertained. Most likely, it comes across as bored, and she knows it’s the only reason you’re texting her. [Read: How not to be dry when you text a girl – 20 ways to keep her hooked]

8. She’s left you on read

If it’s been a few hours to a few days and she hasn’t got back to you even though she’s read your text, chances are it’s because she doesn’t really want to talk to you or even respond.

Take a step back, and just don’t message her anymore unless she comes back with an explanation. [Read: Being left on read – The different explanations when someone does this]

9. Her responses are short and blunt

If you send deep and meaningful paragraphs of text and try to have a conversation, and her responses are one or two words, just stop.

Either she’s busy and doesn’t want to talk or she just isn’t into the conversation and is just too nice to say so. [Read: How to stop texting someone when that’s all you want to do]

10. She made it clear she’s not into you

If she’s made it pretty damn clear she isn’t into dating you and you keep texting her, it looks horrible on your part. When you know she doesn’t like you, just don’t keep texting her.

[Read: How to get a girl to like you again after she rejected you already]

The rules of texting are complicated, but necessary. These are the rules you follow to know how often you should text a girl and when the best time to do so is.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...