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How Not to Be Boring & Get People Excited to Talk and Be Around You

Not everyone can be the life and soul of the party, but you can be a friendly, fun, and engaging person regardless. How? By learning how not to be boring!

how to not be boring

Have you ever spent a considerable amount of time around someone who is just a bit, well, dull? Or, have you spent a very small amount of time around someone who doesn’t have much to say? It wouldn’t have been a particularly fun experience for you either way! When you spend time around people like this, you understand the importance of learning how not to be boring – don’t make people want to fall asleep when they’re around you!

It’s really not that hard in practice – not being boring all comes down to saying ‘yes’ to more opportunities and experiences. The more times you say ‘yes’, the more excitement and fun you invite into your life.

[Read: How to enjoy life and make it memorable]

Why we end up becoming boring people

Maybe you’re too stuck in a routine or you lack the mindset of spontaneity. When you’re a boring person, not only will you scare your date off, but it will hinder you from living your best life.

If you’ve ever met a person who seems excited by life, you know exactly what we’re talking about.

They’re filled with so much happiness, purpose, adventure, excitement, spontaneity, and wonder, in their lives. This should be your standard in living your life.

This isn’t to say that any kind of routine is bad, but if it’s making you boring, then maybe your predictable and boring pattern of everyday life has worn you down and left you jaded.

[Read: 20 easy and exciting ways to bring the spark back when you’re totally lost and bored with life]

Why you should always go for excitement in life

Rather than living a comfortable life, excitement will give you so much more. Whether it’s meeting new people or having brand new experiences, these aren’t things you get with a boring life. This doesn’t just hold good for your social life as a whole, but for your dating life as well.

It’s easy to get hyped up about a date and then for it to not be as amazing as you thought it would be. That’s why you should try extra hard to not be boring.

Just as you probably don’t want a boring date, you shouldn’t have to make someone else endure your boring and lifeless company on a Saturday night as well.

Excitement and enthusiasm towards life will always keep you on your toes and it gives you new experiences to have. Even if it comes with uncertainty, it also comes with adventure and memories.

People will likely be drawn to you when you live a dynamic life rather than when you live a mundane and ordinary life. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]

How not to be boring in life

So, we’ve talked about why it’s important not to be boring and what being boring actually means. Now we need to talk about how to change the whole picture and learn how not to be boring!

By the end of this guide, you’ll shed away your boring layers and be fresh and brand new!

In this feature, we’ll be discussing everything you need to know on how to not be boring and live a more exciting life. Get this right, and others will be naturally drawn to you because of your positivity and vibrance. [Read: Positive vibes – 17 ways to welcome positive energy into your life instantly]

Just remember to be yourself and have fun with whatever you do. Let them know the real you.

1. Focus on fun things in life

Here’s the first step on learning how to not be boring. Instead of focusing on making yourself more fun and spontaneous overnight, think of ways to make people have more fun around you.

You don’t have to work hard to change yourself instantly, but you need to make others realize they always have fun whenever you’re around.

Pick activities like sledding, paintballing, or laser tagging! Do whatever you think will be enjoyed by a group of friends, instead of just you.

Even if this seems outside your comfort zone, just think of the memories you’ll have with your friends when you look back years from now. Do something that will not only surprise them, but they’ll have a good time engaging in. The element of surprise is the best way on how to not be boring. [Read: 20 fun and unconventional date ideas you can try]

2. Don’t talk about yourself too much

People who talk about themselves all the time are the most boring types. You probably know the types we’re talking about – they do nothing but talk about themselves and their own problems all night. So, don’t you do it!

The best way to learn how to not be boring is to pay attention to how they respond when you’re talking. Are their eyes glazed over? Are they looking all around? Or worse, are they staring into their phone?

Talk about yourself, so they know who you are, what you enjoy, and anything else that you think may be of interest. But unless they prod on and want to know more about the same subject, keep it short. If they don’t ask you to elaborate, just switch over to a new topic. [Read: 30 things to talk about on a first date that’ll make everything way more fun]

3. Ask questions

People love to talk about themselves, their own passions, or what excites them. So if you want someone to find you incredibly fun and exciting to hang out with, ask them personal questions that people generally don’t ask others.

Not only will they feel instantly connected to you, but they’ll also be glad to know someone actually pays attention to them beyond the superficial.

Of course, this doesn’t mean asking them questions without giving them a chance to breathe. Just ask them a question, and carry on the same conversation depending on the answers they share. [Read: 30 very deep and interesting questions to ask a friend and bond instantly]

4. Stay interested in them

Okay, so you’re asking them all the right questions, and you’ve been telling them all the right things about yourself. But are you paying attention? Are your eyes locked on theirs? Or are you totally distracted and thinking about something else when they’re talking?

People can tell when someone isn’t paying attention.

So if you want to appear interesting and not boring, pay attention to them. Lean forward towards the person talking to you, nod your head every time they make a point, voice any acknowledgment like “hmm…” as they talk, and look right into their eyes. [Read: How to hold a conversation and make people love talking to you]

5. Be aware of the world around you

Don’t be an idiot. Okay, it sounds rude, but we’re being honest about it. You’re not oh-so-cool and awesome because you don’t care about anything that’s happening around the world. People care about things. And people are now aware of more things than ever before.

If you want to know how to not be boring, pay attention to events happening around the world. Don’t be the obnoxious fool who’s only paying attention to celebrity gossip or the next big flash sale.

If you want to be interesting and avoid being perceived as dull and boring, you need to be able to share your thoughts and opinions when someone talks about something current and newsworthy. [Read: 20 intellectual and meaningful conversations that reveal more than you think]

6. Be spontaneous

If there’s one thing in this list that’s of extreme importance on how to not be boring, it’s spontaneity.

Don’t think about the implications – just do it! Of course, this has limits, we’re not talking about quitting your job to travel the world 24/7. But a spontaneous hiking trip won’t do you any harm.

You need to realize not everything in life has to be planned and organized. You’re allowed to do whatever you feel like on certain occasions without constantly planning every detail of your life. [Read: 18 ways to become more spontaneous in life]

7. Find your type of humor

Having a sense of humor is no longer limited to one-liners, memes or Internet jokes, but it can also include sarcasm or other types of humor. In order to make the people around you laugh and love spending time with you, it’s important to find your sense of humor.

Being capable of making others laugh also makes you seem like a fun person to be around.

8. Say ‘yes’ more often

The more you keep declining that party or that getaway trip with your friends, the more boring you’re becoming. You can’t live an exciting life if you keep saying ‘no’ when every adventure presents itself. It might’ve not been planned and it might be scary, but it’s worth the adventure. [Read: How to never run out of things to say & banish the awkward silence]

Stop being logical all the time and let yourself live even just a little bit. You can’t do that when you’re basically isolating yourself from the possibility of having the best adventure of your life.

9. Do something interactive

Don’t just go sit at a movie and then go to dinner. This isn’t to say that watching Netflix is absolute crap, but it’s not exactly an engaging and interactive activity. Whether you’re going on a date or just planning a trip with your friends, you need to stop suggesting watching a movie.

Instead, plan something fun like going to the arcade or even visiting an unusual museum. Or, maybe you could do a wine and painting night, laser tag, ice skating, or really anything you participate in.

Just stop settling for movie nights if you want to know how to not be boring. [Read: 20 ways to perfect your first date conversation]

10. Be substantial

You will always be perceived as a boring person if you don’t have substance and depth within you. This means you need to stop focusing on the less important things in life and focus on things that really matter.

Be open to healthy debates, have deep conversations with someone, say ‘yes’ to adventures. You’ll learn how to not be boring when you keep focusing on superficial things like social media. 

11. Be the life of the party

When someone invites you to a party or event, don’t just sit in the corner and wait for someone to approach you. Be the life of the party and talk to people, even the strangers you barely know. It might be scary for you, but just go for it. The more you do it, the easier it will become. [Read: Life of the party: How to be noticed and loved by everyone]

Everyone will see you as confident and fun to talk to when you’re always approaching everyone. You’re at a party so it really isn’t advisable to show your introverted and anti-social nature when you’re there. The best way to be perceived as fun is to get yourself out there and socialize. 

12. Use body language

Words aren’t the only way to seem not boring. You also use body language to show them you’re a fun person. When talking to someone, your body language has the capacity to make someone feel acknowledged more than words ever can.

You can do this by nodding, laughing, or even crossing the touch barrier every now and then. What’s important in learning how to not be boring is to make them feel like you’re genuinely interested. [Read: 10 clearly noticeable signs of body language attraction]

13. Face your fears

There’s a reason why staying stuck in your comfort zone will make you boring. You’re not actively facing your fears, which means everything you do is repetitive and dull. Anyone who knows you probably knows what your routine is comprised of. If you’re afraid of heights, go rock climbing or on rollercoasters.

If you are terrified of drowning, go on a swimming date. Find something that makes you face your fears. After all, they say that your best life is on the other side of your fear. You can’t live the rest of your life afraid.

Take risks, go cliff diving, ride that rollercoaster! What more do you have to lose anyway? [Read: How to get over dating anxiety – The best way to face your fears and get out there]

14. Smile a lot and for seemingly no reason

Optimistic and happy people are perceived as fun and dynamic. There’s a reason why we’re drawn more to happier individuals than those who always seem to rain on your parade. No matter how simple it is, always find a reason to smile.

When you see someone who’s just smiling at seemingly nothing, you think they have something entertaining going on in their mind, and they’re just enjoying life. It makes you wonder about them and be curious about their thoughts.

It’s just a bonus if your smile also happens to be adorable. In learning how to not be boring, smile often! [Read: 15 easy hacks to be nice and loved by all instantly]

15. Embrace who you are and go with it

Learning how not to be boring isn’t about changing your personality or becoming someone you’re not. If you do that, you’ll be awkward and fake.

Instead, learn to embrace your personality and who you really are and celebrate it. What is your best feature? Do you have a wicked sense of humor or do you have a special talent for something? Make it your unique selling point and learn to love it!

16. Make others feel at ease

We’ve talked about sense of humor, listening, and body language but you also need to learn how to use your empathy and make others feel at ease around you. That means not gossiping about others, not casting judgments when you don’t know people, and avoiding practical jokes or quips that could make others feel awkward.

Learning how not to be boring isn’t just about being fun, it’s about being a decent person too. [Read: How to develop empathy and master the art of growing a real heart]

17. Learn to say ‘yes’ more but also know when to say ‘no’

When learning how not to be boring we’ve mentioned that you need to say ‘yes’ to new experiences and adventures but you also need to know when to draw the line and say ‘no’ too. Don’t become a doormat!

When you’re trying to changing something about yourself, it’s easy to go too far.

People will respect you more if you don’t allow others to take advantage of you. They’ll want to be around you because not only are you fun, but you’re also a strong and decent person too. [Read: How to make someone happy: 20 Ways to help them sparkle]

18. Don’t be afraid to make fun of yourself

Don’t take yourself too seriously! Life is too short, so make sure that you give yourself time to laugh at the silly things and don’t assume that you have to be right about everything.

Of course, you shouldn’t allow other people to make fun of you for no reason, but you’re more than free to laugh at yourself when you do something crazy, or fall over accidentally! It will endear others to you and make them want to be around you more. [Read: Build your self-esteem – 35 funny things to tell yourself]

19. Embrace your inner child

We tend to think that as we grow into adults, we have to act that way all the time. Why so serious? You can embrace your inner child and be a little silly. We talked about not taking yourself too seriously and making fun of yourself, but you can sit and watch cartoons and laugh about it if you want to!

These seemingly small acts enhance your sense of fun and that’s the best way to avoid being boring!

20. Learn to live in the present

When you’re always thinking about the future, you’ll be anxious. If you spend all your time thinking about the past, you’ll be full of regrets. These don’t make for fun times or fun people!

Instead, learn to live firmly in the present and enjoy every second. This will make you more thankful for everything you have in your life and it will make you more lighthearted too.

People enjoy spending time around people who are firmly in the present and not constantly worrying or living in regret! [Read: How to live in the moment – 20 positive ways to live in the now]

Embrace life and its craziness

You’ll stop being perceived as boring if you live your life with more spontaneity and adventure. If you have the tendency to control every aspect of your life, you need to let all that go and just accept whatever comes. You can never predict the future so you might as well have fun with the uncertainty it gives. 

When you have this type of mindset, you’ll be more relaxed and more focused on fun. Remember, fun people attract fun people in return. And, fun people have the best lives, full of adventure, spontaneity, and memories that last for many years to come.

Doesn’t that sound far better than being negative and downbeat?

[Read: How to be happy in life: 12 hacks to find real happiness instantly]

Understanding how to not be boring isn’t as difficult as it may seem. Just remember to be yourself and be open to every experience that life presents you with. Just say yes and stop overthinking it!

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...