The early stages of a relationship are like a rollercoaster. For the most part it’s enjoyable, major fun even. However, there’s that bit where the rollercoaster goes around a bend a little too fast and makes you feel a bit sick. That’s the not-so-fun part and makes it hard to know how to be patient in a new relationship.
The ups and downs of a new relationship are confusing and exhilarating in equal parts. If you want this new union to last the test of time, avoid the temptation to rush things.
I know, I know, you want to get the stressful ‘do they/don’t they’ part out of the way and feel like you have things on a slightly more even keel. But if you rush this chaotic part, you’ll end up going your separate ways sooner than you would like.
Instead, learn how to be patient in a new relationship and allow it to grow and flourish on its own. When you do that, you have a much better chance of going the distance. Plus, you’ll enjoy the whole thing much more, sudden turns and loop-the-loops included!
[Read: How to fix a rushed relationship and learn to slow down]
How to be patient in a new relationship and avoid rushing it
Scream if you wanna go faster? No! Slow it down!
#1 Distract yourself by focusing on your life. It’s easy to want to throw all your time and attention into a new relationship, but that is a big mistake. You need to maintain your friendships, hobbies, and keep working towards your goals. Even if you limit the amount of time you spend with your new partner, you have to make sure that you keep one eye on how your life was before. [Read: How to stop making the same mistakes in relationships]
Far too many people let their friendships go when they meet someone, only to end up groveling afterwards. If you want to learn how to be patient in a new relationship, the best tactic is to distract your mind from rushing things and the ‘what are they thinking’ routine. Let things work themselves out naturally instead.
#2 Focus on discovering new things about each other. It’s important to get to know each other well at the start. By doing that, you base your relationship on an even keel. It gives your relationship a far better chance of success too. When you learn how to be patient in a new relationship, you focus on the things you learn about your partner every day. You also find it easier to open up and allow them to really get to know you in return.
The early stages of a relationship are a huge guessing game. You like each other, but you don’t know each other yet. That’s why it’s a little chaotic and out of balance at the start, because you’re still feeling things out and working out how the other one reacts to certain situations. Let nature take its course! [Read: The early stages of dating and how to navigate the dos and don’ts]
#3 Embrace the early stages of a relationship. Yes, it’s confusing. True, sometimes you can’t eat because you have a rave of butterflies going on in your stomach but embrace it! Believe me, if your relationship lasts the test of time, a few years down the line you’ll be wishing you could bring back some of those butterflies! [Read: 18 tips to fall in love slowly like you’re in a fairytale]
Focus on the positives in the situation and work on solving the negatives. Every single relationship is a little out balance at the start, but over time things will even themselves out. They won’t do that if you push things.
#4 Remember not to let your mind run away with itself. You have to keep the situation in perspective. Whenever you start to question things too much, overthink, and start pushing, pull your mind back and remember the consequences of trying to rush things. Remember that this phase is about discovery and learning about one another. You just can’t speed that up and expect good results!
If you notice that you question everything, give yourself a quick talking to and pull perspective back into the equation. [Read: The 14 stages of a new relationship to define your budding romance]
#5 Communicate! Communication is vital in any relationship. However, the early stages need it even more! You don’t know each other properly at this point, so you must tell one another directly what you need and want. Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader or expect them to pick up on many nonverbal cues!
Learning how to be patient in a relationship also means talking to your partner if you feel like things aren’t moving at all. Remember, it’s all well and good being patient as long as something is actually happening in the first place. [Read: How to communicate better in a relationship and improve your life]
#6 Don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s. Comparing your relationship progress to anyone else’s relationship is a huge problem. It’s bound to fill you with anxiety about what is or isn’t happening between you. Instead, let things unfold naturally. Every relationship moves at a different rate. Good things really do come to those who wait!
#7 Focus on having fun rather than questioning what is happening. Focus on having fun and enjoying new experiences together. Try not to keep your mind on the ‘where are we going’ thoughts, instead keep thinking of new things you can do together to not only boost your relationship but to simply enjoy yourselves at the same time. [Read: The 9 relationship stages all couples go through in their lifetime]
#8 Be mindful of how much time you’re spending together. You want to spend as much time with your partner as you can. Be mindful of how much time you are actually spending together and don’t allow it to become excessive.
The first point on this list was distracting yourself and focusing on your life outside of your relationship. To effectively do that, you should have time to yourself. While you don’t have to have set days to see one another, just make sure that your time apart isn’t getting less and less. Learning how to be patient in a new relationship requires a little space.
#9 Avoid being too into their social media. Of course, you’re going to watch your partner’s social media feeds because it’s what people do. But, it’s going to drive you crazy! You’ll question everything, become jealous, and pick fights by asking what this is or what that means.
Remember, you’re learning how to be patient in a new relationship. Chill out and let things work out the way they’re supposed to. Have a little faith! [Read: Are you rushing into commitment? The signs you might regret it]
Enjoy your new partner… and yourself!
Learning how to be patient in a new relationship is really about being able to keep one eye on your relationship and the other on continuing to develop as an individual person. Sure, you shouldn’t be complacent and avoid giving your partner the time and attention they need, but it doesn’t mean you have to give them all of your time and attention!
Learning to be patient means giving yourself space. When you do that, you’ll find that you’re calmer and less apt to push things.
[Read: Is your relationship moving too fast? How to pinpoint your perfect speed]
Many people think that learning how to be patient in a new relationship means putting your needs and desires to one side. Simply, calm down and let things work out naturally.
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