70 Warm, Feel-Good Personal Questions to Ask a Girl to Get to Know Her Better
Want to get to know her for real? These personal questions to ask a girl aren’t just conversation starters, they’ll reveal who she really is inside.
If you’re wondering what to say to a girl you like, and small talk is running dry, don’t overthink it. Just use these perfect personal questions to ask a girl.
That’s how connection starts. The right personal questions to ask a girl can turn a casual conversation into something real, honest, and unforgettable. Whether you’re texting late at night or sitting across from her at your favorite cafe, the right question can spark laughter, vulnerability, or even a flirtatious confession.
Psychologists call this structured self-disclosure, the gradual exchange of personal details that builds trust and emotional closeness. In fact, a famous study by Dr. Arthur Aron found that strangers could create genuine feelings of intimacy by answering a series of increasingly personal questions.
📚 Source: The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness, Arthur Aron et al., 1997
Of course, it’s not about going full therapist. The goal is to be curious, not invasive, and to let her feel safe while opening up. That’s why we’ve crafted a list of the most thoughtful, fun, and emotionally revealing personal questions to ask a girl, so you can skip the awkward silences and start getting to know her on a deeper level.
[Read: How to get to know a girl better and win her over]
Ask her questions to find out your compatibility
When you like a girl, you naturally want to get to know her better. But, you often worry more about if she likes you back rather than the actual important things, like whether you two are compatible or if she’s showing any red flags.
Instead of getting in your head and worrying about what she thinks of you, focus on getting to know her better. You may find her attractive and funny, but that doesn’t always mean you’re compatible.
Having questions to ask a girl to get to know her better helps you make sure you really like her before taking things further. [Read: Learn how to slow down and get to know someone]
Questions to get to know a girl better
This list of questions will help make sure your feelings are real and let her know you’re a good listener:
1. How was your day?
Start with something broad and straightforward, to begin with. Asking a girl how her day was is considerate, and it is a great way to start a conversation so that she can talk about anything she likes. This is one of the fundamental questions to ask a girl to get to know her better. [Read: 60 get to know you questions for a new romance]
2. Who has been the biggest influence in your life?
This is a great and engaging question to ask a girl and get to know her better, especially when the conversation gets a bit more intense and serious. Give her time to answer it, though, as she may need a moment to think about it.
This can tell you a lot about who she is and what is important to her in the people she surrounds herself with.
3. What makes you laugh?
Knowing what makes her laugh is likely to be important in the long run. She may share a joke or talk about a movie or TV show she loves.
The kind of sense of humor that she has can tell you a lot about if you’ll get along and if you share a love of puns or sarcasm. [Read: How to make a girl laugh, smile, and like you]
4. What’s the best place you have ever visited?
Sharing stories of traveling near and far is a great way to get to know someone better. Find out where her favorite spot in the world is, and then tell her yours. You can swap stories about a local trip or what it was like to explore a different country.
5. Tell me about your friends
A girl’s friends are her inner circle. She talks to them about everything. They are a constant presence in her life.
That is why this is one of the best questions to ask a girl to get to know her better. Asking her about her friends will score you brownie points too. Many guys aren’t interested in a girl’s friends, just her. [Read: Signs her friends don’t like you]
6. What’s your favorite movie?
Discussing the movies you love to watch is an easy and safe conversation topic – you might come away with some great recommendations too!
7. What’s your biggest fear?
People have all sorts of likes and dislikes, so discussing your biggest fear, and getting to know someone else’s, is a big step. You can keep it light and talk about your fear of snakes, but also get deeper.
Particularly if it is something sensitive. If she is willing to share that with you, it’s a pretty big deal.
8. What kind of music do you like?
If music is important to you, then you’ll no doubt want to know where her music tastes lie. Listen carefully; the answer could inspire a great date night to see a gig or future presents of albums or concert tickets! [Read: Instant chemistry – 25 questions to ask a girl you like]
9. What were you like as a child?
Talking about childhood feels intimate, so if you find out about hers, make sure you listen well. She may share details about her family or parents.
This can make her feel safe and close to you, so if you aren’t ready to hear about this, hold off on this one. But, if you really want to know these things, this makes another amazing question to ask a girl to get to know her better. [Read: Learn how to get along with your partner’s family]
10. What are your life goals?
Knowing what someone wants from their life, what they are aiming for, and what is essential to them is crucial. Knowing this about someone will make you feel closer to them – it will also let you know whether you guys are on the same page or if your lives are likely to go in different directions.
If she wants to settle down in the next few years and you want to travel the world, your priorities may not be as linked as you hoped.
11. Do you have a nickname?
This is a great conversation starter. You can share old nicknames, pick out the best ones and call each other that, or decide to make up new ones for one another instead! [Read: 40 questions to ask your crush and subtly flirt with them]
12. What kind of things do you find attractive in someone?
You can go really in-depth with this. Find out exactly what it is that makes the girl you like attracted to someone – this way, and you can pick up some helpful hints. If she likes someone confident, you know you need to own your quirks instead of hiding them.
This can also clue you into if she is attracted to you. If she says she likes tall guys who work out and you are shorter and more on the thin side, it could be a clue that you should move on. [Read: 15 blunt signs she has zero interest in you and wants you to leave her alone]
13. Tell me about your family
Finding out about her family is a great step to getting to know a girl better. Hearing about her relatives and how she feels about them will help you feel closer to her too. You never know… this might lead to a suggestion of actually meeting them one day!
14. What are your hobbies or passions?
Finding out that someone is an avid baseball fan, or loves going horseback riding on the weekends, or is actually in an all-girl punk band will make you realize how many different and interesting sides to a person there can be.
It can also help you think of date ideas if it comes to that. [Read: 25 hobbies for couples to have more fun together]
15. What’s your favorite food/meal?
A conversation about food can lead anywhere! It’s a pretty safe question to ask a girl to get to know her better, and learning about her likes and dislikes in cuisine will reveal a little more about her. This can help you think of the perfect date spot or help you know what to avoid.
16. What is your favorite animal?
Is she an animal lover or an animal hater? Good to know, especially if you have a slobbery pooch waiting at home who is just dying to meet her! That’s why it’s one of the important questions to ask a girl to get to know her better.
If she is allergic to animals and you have three, it could be a dealbreaker. [Read: 36 racy, random funny questions for flirty guys and girls]
17. If you had a million dollars, what would you spend it on?
Playing fantasy rich person is always a good game, and it reveals a lot about a person as to what they would do with that kind of cash. Would she donate it, invest it, or blow it on an elaborate party?
18. Which famous person do you most relate to?
Getting her to compare herself to someone famous is an interesting conversation starter and will give you better insight into what she is really like.
If she thinks she relates most to someone hilarious, then you’ve got an idea of what spending time with her will be like. [Read: How to seduce a girl with words and make her desire you sexually]
19. What’s your most embarrassing moment?
If she is willing to tell you her most embarrassing moment, she clearly feels comfortable enough to share it with you. It will no doubt make you both laugh too!
Just be sure you feel comfortable enough to share your own story as well. She will surely be asking.
20. What was your longest relationship?
Finding out about one another’s past relationships is always interesting and is a question that is bound to come up inevitably at some point. Finding out about exes can actually give some pretty good insight into your own relationship, so it is well worth asking.
She could share that she is only recently single or that she’s never had a long-term relationship. No matter what her response is, it will help you get to know her better. [Read: Why you should talk about your exes early on]
21. Do you want to get married and have kids?
Okay, so is one of those questions to ask a girl to get to know her better that might not be a ideal one for the very first date. But it certainly is an important question to ask a girl at some point early on in your relationship. Having the same desires and ideas about the big decisions in your life is important.
If you’ve always wanted a big family, and she doesn’t want to have children, it’s probably something that you want to talk about sooner rather than later! [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility instantly]
22. Have you ever had a reoccurring dream?
This could go deep, so keep in mind that you have to be careful, but it could also just be ridiculous. For instance, I’ve had this weird Halloween night dream for ages that makes no sense, but talking about it sure is a whirlwind.
23. What is your biggest pet peeve?
This could become a major deal-breaker, but it is better to find out now rather than down the line when feelings are really forming.
If she hates smokers and you smoke a pack a day, it could be the end. But if she despises when people don’t put their carts back after shopping, and you share that frustration, it will be a bonding moment. [Read: 25 most common deal breakers for women]
24. What is your favorite decade?
Is it this one? Does she wish she was this age in the ’60s? Is there something she loves about the ’80s? Or maybe she wishes she could turn time back to the ’90s, a simpler time?
Also, be sure to ask why. Does she simply miss the TV and toys of her childhood years, or is it something deeper? While this sounds like a random question, it allows you to get to know her better by having meaningful conversations instead of surface-level small talk.
25. What do you judge people for?
This is a hard question to admit the answer to, but it is important. Does she judge strangers based on how they look or their clothes? Does she judge them based on their political leanings? Or does she judge people for tipping badly or for not voting?
Be ready to admit your answer too. It can be hard to say that you judge people for things that don’t necessarily define them, but we all do it. [Read: How to be less critical – 15 reasons why you judge and how to stop it]
26. Who was your favorite teacher growing up?
Teachers have such a big impact on us. We spent most of our young lives in school with them, so it makes sense.
This is a great question to ask a girl to get to know her better because she will share an intimate memory. Maybe she’ll share how she had a teacher that also brought snacks or one that really pushed her to try harder. [Read: 15 things you won’t learn in school]
27. What is something you wish you were good at?
When we are getting to know someone, we want to give off the best version of ourselves. We try to seem good at everything.
But, admitting that you have weaknesses really opens you up. Having her tell you something that isn’t her God-given talent will help her feel closer to you and you’ll know something important to her.
28. What app should have never been invented?
This is a question to ask to get to know her better in the modern era. Does she love social media? Maybe she prefers being alone and wishes that Facebook or Instagram wasn’t invented so you wouldn’t feel like you’re missing out.
Or, perhaps she wishes Facetune was never invented so everyone could show their true selves without the fake editing. [Read: Social media and relationships – The good, the bad, and the ugly]
29. What is the worst pick-up line you’ve ever heard?
This is bound to be a funny question to ask or at the very least, cringey. It will also help you learn if she gets hit on a lot or not. Bonus points if you give her an equally cringey pick-up line and make her laugh.
30. Do you have any regrets?
Okay, we wouldn’t get right into this one, but it can really tell you a lot. Does she cling to the past? Maybe she would change things if she could go back but always tries to look forward.
31. What is your dream retirement like?
This is something no one really thinks about. Whether you want a future with her already or just want to ask her out for coffee, this tells you a lot about her.
Get to know her better by finding out what would make her happy after living her life. [Read: 30 questions to ask people to make a better connection]
32. What is your favorite board game?
This is one of those questions to ask a girl to get to know her better that can seem a little on the silly side, but this will help you out big time if you love games. Does she prefer word games, quests, or games of luck? This will clue you into what a date night together may look like.
33. What is your ideal Saturday like?
We all love a weekend, but why? So we can sleep in? So we can do everything we’ve been putting off? Get to know her better by really listening to her answer. [Read: 40 first date questions to have a great conversation]
34. Describe your worst date ever
This question makes you laugh, opens you up, and lets you explain why you didn’t like it. It enables you to get to know her in so many ways. Is it someone who bored her to death with their extended political commentary? Is it someone who couldn’t stop bragging about being affiliated with some famous people? The possibilities are endless. [Read: 15 signs of a bad first date you should listen to]
35. What moment has changed your life?
Was it when her parents divorced? Or, maybe when she adopted her dog? This is a big question, but it can also be fun.
For instance, when she asks you back, say, “meeting you.” That is just a flirtatious answer, and it could potentially make her blush or shy. [Read: Fractionation seduction – The art of emotionally seducing any woman in minutes]
36. If you could go back in time and change one thing in your life, what would it be?
Understanding someone’s regrets and the things they simply wish could have worked out differently helps you to understand their inner workings a lot better.
Sure, she might not tell you her deepest, darkest regrets, but that’s her prerogative. Her answer will give you a lot more information and insight into who she really is and what is important to her. [Read: How to tell if there is no chemistry and you should stop trying]
37. What was your biggest dream when you were younger?
Did she want to save the world? Or did she want to be able to fly? Did she want to travel all over the place? Just as learning about someone’s regrets is interesting, learning about their dreams is too.
38. Dealbreaker number one in a relationship, what is it?
Everyone has boundaries that they will and won’t cross in relationships. And this tells you what she will put up with and what she most definitely won’t.
This isn’t because you want to push those boundaries and know how far you can go, you want to know more about her morals and what is important to her in a relationship. [Read: 34 big relationship red flags most people completely ignore early on]
39. Would you rather have ketchup or mayonnaise in your sandwich?
Not all questions need to be heavy! This is a fun question to ask. It breaks the ice and gets her smiling. After that, you can move on to the heavier, more probing or maybe romantic questions.
40. If you were given a chance to travel to one destination right now, where would you want to go?
Will she opt for a city break? Perhaps a tropical beach? Maybe she’ll choose a snow destination. It’s interesting to think of places that people want to visit.
The number one place that comes to mind tells you a lot. It’s one of the best questions to ask a girl if you want to know more about what she enjoys and finds interesting. [Read: 15 reasons why you should travel at least once a year]
41. What is your favorite time of year?
Does she love the fall and the spooky fun of Halloween, or is she more of a spring kind of girl? Again, it’s an interesting question to ask and tells you about her core values and the situations in which she feels most comfortable. [Read: Toxic girlfriend potential? How to tell if the girl you like could be toxic]
42. Do you want to be in the same job in five years’ time?
Ah, an interesting one! This is one of the best questions to ask girls because it tells you a lot about their aspirations. Maybe she will tell you that she loves her job, or maybe she will tell you she is disillusioned and wants to make a change. Either way, you’ll learn a lot.
43. What would you do today if you knew the world would explode tomorrow?
A little ‘out there,’ but it’s an interesting one again! Think about what you would do and then tell her. Ask her to respond. It’s one of the best hypothetical questions to ask a girl to make her think creatively.
The answer will tell you a lot about what she finds enjoyable and what she is passionate about. [Read: Couples bucket list – 32 must-do things to create experiences together]
44. What is your number one favorite thing about yourself?
You’ll probably be greeted with an embarrassed shrug or slightly interesting answer to this question, but it’s a probing and fun question to ask. We’re very quick to tell people what we don’t like about ourselves.
Ask her the opposite and then tell her what you like about her, even though you’re still getting to know her. [Read: How to love yourself – 15 ways to discover self-love and happiness]
We can all do something weird or wonderful, such as rolling our tongue or playing the tambourine really well *not that playing the tambourine is weird, simply not that mainstream*.
So, ask her about her hidden talents and you’ll also learn more about her hidden depths. [Read: Tips to fall in love with yourself and be a better you]
46. What is the single best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
Again, this will tell you about what she thinks is important and the guidelines to which she lives her life. It might be a fun piece of advice or something a little deeper. Ask and see what her answer is! [Read: How to be more playful and flirty and open up with someone you like]
47. What is your idea of a perfect weekend?
Some people love to party, others like to stay home and watch Netflix under a blanket. Some people want to go on an adventure, while others want to spend time with family members.
This question tells you a lot about a person, but it’s also a good one for thinking of things you can do together in the future. For that reason, it’s one of the best questions to ask a girl!
48. Sweet or savory?
This is another fun question you can ask her – does she love sweet things or does she always reach for savory snacks? Not that this tells you a huge amount about her deep morals in life, but it does give you a glimpse into her likes and dislikes and the things she goes for as a person. [Read: Nom-nom no-nos: 17 foods to avoid before having sex]
49. Who was your celebrity crush when you were younger?
Who did she have on her wall? Was it a sports star or was it a singer? Perhaps it was an actor, or maybe she couldn’t decide and she had many adorning the walls!
Remember to tell her who was on your wall too – these questions need to get the conversation flowing back and forth to make them natural. [Read: Fun things to do with your best friend & create lasting memories]
50. If you could click your fingers and go to a place in your past, where would it be?
If you want to dive into some deep questions to ask a girl to get to know her, this one should be on the list. It tells you a lot about what she thinks about and what she dreams about. Maybe she’ll go back to her childhood or maybe it will be something she did last week!
51. What’s something you believe that most people don’t?
This question isn’t just deep, it’s wildly intriguing. You’ll see what ideas or opinions she holds onto even if they’re unpopular.
Maybe she’s got an unusual life philosophy, a quirky superstition, or a quiet belief she’s never shared out loud. It’s a revealing way to find out what makes her stand apart, and what she’s quietly passionate about, even when no one else agrees.
52. When do you feel most confident?
Confidence looks different on everyone. Maybe she feels like a queen when she’s in her element, leading a project, dressed up, singing in the car, or after a tough gym session.
This question helps you see what lights her up inside, and even more importantly, how you can support that confidence and be someone who adds to it, not takes from it. [Read: What Turns a Girl On? 65 Emotional & Sexual Moves to Arouse & Seduce Her!]
53. If you could relive one day from your past exactly as it happened, which would it be?
We all have that one day that lives rent-free in our minds, a moment that felt almost perfect.
Whether it was a childhood adventure, a quiet day of peace, or a spontaneous night that changed everything, her answer will show you what she values most: freedom, connection, joy, or maybe just a simple moment that meant more than anyone else realized.
54. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t yet?
We all have “someday” dreams that quietly sit in the back of our minds. This question helps you uncover hers.
Whether it’s writing a book, traveling solo, starting a passion project, or learning an instrument, you’ll learn what excites her, and what might be holding her back.
Bonus: this is a perfect opening to be encouraging or even plan something together down the line.
55. What’s your biggest irrational fear?
From snakes to elevators to clowns or cotton balls (yes, it’s a thing), irrational fears are oddly personal, and often hilarious.
You’ll get a playful peek into what spooks her for no good reason, and probably end up laughing together. But even silly fears tell you something: what makes her feel small, startled, or out of control, and how she copes with it.
56. Who do you go to when you’re feeling low?
Everyone has that one person they turn to when life feels heavy.
Whether it’s her best friend, her sister, or even her journal, this question shows you who she trusts most when she’s vulnerable, and how she lets herself be supported. It also gives you a subtle look into her emotional world, and how she deals with the tough days.
57. Have you ever had a moment that completely changed the way you saw the world?
Some moments quietly shape us, and others flip our reality upside down. Maybe it was a breakup, a spontaneous trip, a book she read, or a random act of kindness from a stranger.
Whatever her story, it will give you a window into how her mind works, and what life has taught her.
58. What’s your comfort movie or TV show when you’re feeling off?
This one might seem simple, but it’s loaded with insight. Does she turn to emotional dramas, nostalgic cartoons, true crime, or Friends reruns?
Comfort shows are little emotional safe havens, and learning hers can be a fun, cozy glimpse into what soothes her soul.
59. If you had to teach a class on anything, what would it be?
Whether she picks something deep like self-worth or something unexpected like astrology memes or niche TikTok humor, you’ll get to hear what she’s passionate about. And who knows? Maybe you’ll learn a thing or two.
60. What part of your personality do you think people misunderstand?
This one is raw and real, and might surprise you. Maybe people think she’s cold when she’s just shy, or maybe her confidence hides how anxious she sometimes feels.
Everyone has a side they wish others “got” better, and this question gives her space to feel seen.
61. What’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever received?
Compliments stick with us when they come from the right person at the right time. Her answer will show you what kind of praise actually hits home, and what she values about herself, deep down. Bonus: You might just be inspired to give her one that tops it. [Read: 53 Flirty Things to Say to a Girl to Compliment Her & Make Her Blush]
62. Do you have any little rituals that bring you peace?
Whether it’s making tea before bed, lighting a candle while journaling, or doing skincare with a playlist on, these tiny routines say a lot about how someone stays grounded.
Asking this makes you seem thoughtful, and she might even let you in on one of them someday.
63. When was the last time you cried, and why?
This one’s tender, and should only be asked if you’ve built enough trust. But when answered, it often opens up beautiful, vulnerable stories. You’ll see what moves her, what breaks her heart, and what she cares about most deeply.
64. What does “home” feel like to you?
Home isn’t always a place. For some, it’s a person, a feeling, or even just peace. Her answer can reveal her emotional roots, where she feels safe, loved, and most herself. And yeah, it might get a little poetic.
65. If your younger self could see you now, what would they be proud of?
This is an invitation for her to reflect on her growth. It might be something big, like healing from trauma, or something small but powerful, like setting boundaries or chasing a dream. You’ll see what she’s been through, and what she’s becoming.
66. What’s one thing you wish more people asked you?
This is a meta question, and a magical one. You’re literally giving her the space to say, “Here’s what I really want to talk about, but no one ever asks.” It’s bold, a little unexpected, and a perfect way to show that you’re not like everyone else. [Read: 27 Secrets to Tell a Woman She’s Beautiful & Cute Examples to Make Her Melt]
67. If you had a warning label, what would it say?
It’s funny and self-aware, and gives her a chance to show off her playful or chaotic side. Whether she says “Will get clingy after three snacks” or “Sassy with a heart of gold,” you’ll get a peek at how she sees herself, and it’s often hilarious.
68. Do you believe in soulmates?
It’s classic for a reason. You’ll learn whether she’s a hopeless romantic, a love skeptic, or somewhere in between. And depending on how you answer back, it might open up a deeper chat about fate, timing, and real connection. [Read: 36 Soul Secrets to Find Your Soulmate, Draw Them Closer & Meet Them Soon]
69. What’s your love language?
This one’s backed by research and actually super useful in relationships. Whether she’s a words-of-affirmation girl or someone who shows love through acts of service, it tells you a lot about how she gives, and receives, affection.
70. What do you want your life to look like in 10 years?
We’re ending strong with a forward-looking question that’s all about vision. Does she want a quiet life in the suburbs, a passport full of stamps, a successful business, or just happiness and peace?
You’ll learn what drives her and what kind of future she’s building, and maybe even where you might fit into it.
The Psychology of Asking Personal Questions
If you’ve ever felt an instant connection with someone after a deep late-night conversation, you’re not imagining it, that’s the power of personal questions at work.
According to Social Penetration Theory, relationships develop as people gradually reveal more personal, vulnerable, and meaningful information about themselves. The more layers you peel back, from basic facts to deep emotions, the closer you become.
📚 Source: Social Penetration, Altman & Taylor, 1973
This is also why Dr. Arthur Aron’s famous “36 Questions” experiment worked so well. In his study that we cited in the introduction to this feature, two strangers answered a series of increasingly intimate questions, and many reported feeling deeply connected, some even fell in love.
So why does it work? Because the right questions invite openness, and when we feel seen, we connect. But timing and tone matter. Too personal too soon can feel invasive. But done right? It builds chemistry, trust, and something real, even on the first date.
So, before you scroll down to the full list, keep this in mind: personal questions are powerful not because they’re nosy, but because they’re an invitation to be understood.
Ask away, and get ready to actually know her
Just remember, asking personal questions to ask a girl isn’t about getting answers, it’s about making her feel seen. Space them out naturally, share your own stories in return, and don’t be afraid of the deeper moments. That’s where real connection lives.
Whether you use these questions on a first date, over late-night texts, or on a long walk, you’re not just breaking the ice, you’re inviting her into something genuine. And who knows? One of these questions might just lead to the kind of conversation that changes everything.
[Read: What to talk about on a first date to make them like you instantly]
These questions to ask a girl to get to know her better are the perfect pieces of information to form a relationship on. Just remember, she’ll probably want to know all about you too, so don’t ask her anything you wouldn’t be prepared to answer yourself!
