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How to Get to Know a Girl: 20 Ways to See If She’s Perfect For You

Before you can work out whether you’ve found The One, you need to learn how to get to know a girl first. You can’t love her unless you really know her!

how to get to know a girl

When you first meet a girl, it’s possible that she blows your mind immediately. However, that’s all just looks. You don’t know anything about her true personality yet. Maybe you believe in love at first sight, but trust us, it’s more likely to be lust or infatuation! You need to learn how to get to know a girl before you can decide whether or not she’s someone you want to spend more time with.

Of course, it can be tough to get find out how to get to know a girl better, especially if you tend to be a little shy. Maybe you haven’t had the courage to even speak to her yet, or maybe you’ve just started dating but want to get closer to her.

Whatever the stage of your relationship, if you’re hoping to get to know your girl better, then you need to take action!

[Read: How to talk to a girl – The secrets to smooth talk, impress and get to know her immediately]

How to get to know a girl and find out if she’s The One!

You might meet her, be bowled over by her sexiness, only to have a conversation and find out that she has literally no substance.

Or, you might learn more about her and realize that her looks are only the tip of the iceberg. The only way to find out is to get to know her better. Here are a few ways you can do just that, in no time, and impress her at the same time!

1. Ask her questions

This may seem obvious, but you’d be surprised at how often people tend to forget to ask each other direct, straightforward questions.

The next time you have a conversation, pay attention to this. Ask her questions about herself, her job, her family, her pets. Anything that will get her talking and keep the conversation active and interesting. [Read: 60 get to know you questions for a new romance]

Of course, don’t bombard her with questions one after the other. You don’t want her to feel like she’s in the middle of a job interview. Also, remember to ask questions that aren’t closed – anything which can be answered with a simple, one word ‘yes’ or ‘no’ is no good.

2. Call her and have a conversation

Phone conversations can be a great way to get to know someone better. When you’re talking to someone on the phone, there are no distractions. You both have to work to keep the conversation going. If you can talk for hours on the phone, you probably know each other pretty well!

3. Get to know her family

A girl’s family can say a lot about her. If you make an effort to get to know her family, not only will she appreciate the gesture and feel closer to you as a result, but you’ll also have a better understanding of where she comes from and who she might turn into later in life! [Read: How to not screw up when you meet her parents for the first time]

However, do remember that not everyone is lucky enough to have a great family. If she doesn’t want you to become close to her family, there could be a very good reason for that.

4. Learn about her past relationships

Understanding her past relationships can be useful in finding out how to get to know a girl. If you know about her past, you will be able to understand why she might act a certain way in different situations.

This might not be a conversation that you want to have right away. But, if you’ve been seeing each other for a while, then it’s only natural that you’ll each be a little curious about each other’s pasts.

Being able to have a sensible, mature conversation about past relationships shows that you’re in a secure and comfortable place with each other. This can bring you so much closer together too. [Read: How to talk about a past relationship with your partner]

5. Get to know her friends

Making an effort to get to know her friends will make her want to open up to you more. This will also make it feel as though the relationship is going somewhere.

As an added bonus, if her friends become your friends, they can be fantastic people to talk to if you hit a stumbling block in your relationship. They know her better than anyone and might be able to shed some light on what’s going on in her head. [Read: 12 subtle and obvious signs your girlfriend’s friends don’t like you very much]

6. Be genuinely interested

Make sure you show her that you’re interested in her. If you play games or send mixed signals, she’s going to feel confused and uncertain.

In order for a girl to open up, she needs to know that you’re interested in her and serious about taking the relationship further.

7. Learn more about her job

Her job may be extremely important to her, or she may absolutely loathe it. Either way, it is likely to be a big part of her life.

Find out about her job, be there for her if she’s had a stressful day, and get to know what her hopes/dreams/fears are in terms of work. You’ll feel like you know her better, you can inspire her, and be her biggest cheerleader, too. [Read: How to balance your career, social life, and dating life]

8. Tell her a secret

If you tell her something that no one else knows, she’ll immediately feel closer to you. Showing that you can trust her in this way signals to her that you feel a strong connection with her.

If you tell her a secret, it’s likely that she’ll start telling you hers, too.

9. Have text conversations

Make sure you keep all lines of communication open. Text her frequently to let her know you’re there. Texting can be a fun way to start a conversation with a girl you don’t know very well.

Start a conversation, take it slowly, and she’ll gradually begin to let you in. [Read: 50 flirty text messages that are sure to make her smile]

10. Tell her about yourself

The more you tell her about yourself, the more she’ll want to tell you about herself. That’s kind of the way a conversation works! Again, make sure you don’t simply make statements, and weave any details about yourself into the conversation.

11. Go on vacation together

Nothing makes couples get to know each other better than going away together. If you’re at that stage, why not plan a little romantic getaway?

Spending all that time alone together will leave you feeling like you know each other really well! [Read: All the reasons why traveling is the best test of compatibility]

12. Be emotionally available

Don’t be afraid to be emotional with her. If you show her your vulnerable side, she is much more likely to show you hers.

This also demonstrates to her that your relationship will be a deep and significant one. When you’re able to talk about your feelings, relationships are so much easier.

13. Go for a walk together

Walking can be a great way to bond with a girl. It’s time spent in beautiful surroundings with few distractions.

So if you’re looking for something fun to do with a girl to spend some quality time together, why not pack a picnic and go for a stroll outside?

14. Have a few drinks together

If all else fails, having a few glasses of your favorite wine or beer is bound to get the two of you talking. Don’t go overboard, though, but a good night out on the town can reveal a lot! [Read: What to talk about when you’re drunk with your date]

15. Take up one of her hobbies

Why not put yourself in her shoes and give one of her hobbies a try? It will show her just how much you’re interested in her and will also give her the opportunity to share with you something that she loves to do.

16. Don’t be afraid to disagree

Perhaps you don’t really know someone until you’ve been through your first fight! All couples have disagreements from time to time, and afterward, you usually feel like you know and understand one another that little bit better.

That doesn’t mean you should go out of your way to try and pick a fight, but don’t do everything your power to avoid them either. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship and grow closer]

17. Make up properly after a fight

There’s nothing better than making up after a fight to bring you closer together. Each time you do, you’ll feel like you know her even better than before. [Read: Make-up sex and why it’s one of the best kinds of sex you can have]

18. Share a scary experience

Is there something on your bucket list that is terrifying yet something you both want to do? How about skydiving as one example?

Sharing a scary experience can be a really great way to pull you together and in that terrifying moment, she’s likely to open up and share a lot about herself. You’re also making memories together too, which is always a good thing. [Read: Couples’ bucket list – 20 things every couple needs to do to feel closer]

19. Play a game of ‘would you rather’

Sometimes the best way to get to know someone is to go back to basics. A good, old fashioned game of ‘would you rather’ will help you to learn her preferences, likes, and dislikes. She’ll also get to know yours too.

Just make sure that you’re honest and don’t try and match with hers – getting to know one another is a two-way street! [Read: 134 smart and very funny ‘would you rather’ questions to leave you ROFL]

20. Use your empathy skills

It can be very enlightening to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. You don’t have to borrow her heels for this, you simply need to use your natural empathy skills.

Appreciate how she is feeling by imagining if that were you. You can do this very easily and it might unearth some interesting discoveries.

Remember, you can’t decide whether or not you want to date someone until you really know them. You can’t truly love someone until you know more about them.

So, whether you’re already in a relationship or you’re deciding whether you want to date a new girl in your life, take the time to really get to know her. That way, you’ll avoid wasting your time and dating someone who simply isn’t the right fit for you.

[Read: How to win a girl’s heart and impress her effortlessly]

Learning how to get to know a girl can be the first step to a beautiful and long-lasting relationship. The next time you want to try to get to know your lady better, why not try some of these tips and see if they bring you closer?

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...