If you’re struggling with the ladies, it might help you to learn how to talk to women the right way. Here’s how to get their attention and keep it.
For those of you who aren’t that great at talking to girls, you’re probably way over thinking it. After all, they’re just people. You can talk to your friends, right? Girls really aren’t that different but if you want to learn how to talk to women, we can help.
Have you ever seen some guys walk up to girls and immediately have their attention? It’s like they have this magic quality that girls can’t get enough of. But in reality, they just know how to talk to women in ways they like.
If girls don’t want to talk to you, it’s probably because of some mistakes you’re making
You’re not perfect. If you struggle to talk to women, it’s probably because of a few things you might not even realize you’re doing. Women can get turned off of a guy really quickly and it might have something to do with the way you’re treating them.
If you walk up to a girl and try to hit on her immediately, she’ll walk away. Women don’t want to only be seen as your prey. And if you walk up to a girl and only compliment her and tell her how she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, she’ll also leave because it’s not genuine. [Read: 10 biggest dating turn offs for women]
How to talk to women in a way that makes them want to stay
There are some methods that can help you talk to a girl and keep her attention right away. If you’re struggling and can’t figure out why, follow some of these tips and you’ll have the next girl hooked in no time.
#1 Talk to her like a person. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: “Duh!” But to be honest, most guys treat talking to women as something completely different. Yes, they’re girls, but they’re also people and you should just talk to them like they’re someone you’ve never met before.
Forget that they’re girls for a second. I know that’ll be hard since you came here specifically to learn how to talk to women, but this is how. Just approach her like she’s someone to just chat with and not pick up.
#2 Don’t start with a compliment. I know you probably think walking up to a girl and telling her she’s gorgeous will make her want to talk to you, but it doesn’t. It just makes you look like you want to get with her. And you might actually want that, but you can’t make it obvious.
Instead, walk up and introduce yourself. Start with saying hi and maybe referencing something you saw her looking at or something that’s on a TV at a sports bar. Anything besides how she looks is the right move.
#3 Look her in the eyes. Don’t let your eyes wander to her cleavage. I don’t care if she has a nipple popping out of her shirt, keep your eyes on her face. Not only is this just good manners, but she’ll feel respected and that’ll make her want to talk to you.
#4 Be respectful. Just don’t be a douche. It’s really that simple. If you walk up to her and just try to talk in a respectful way, she’ll be intrigued. Even if she doesn’t find you attractive right away, she’ll be polite and at least talk a little bit.
That gives you time to ask some questions and engage with her in a way that’ll grab her attention. If you’re just staring at her body and saying offensive things, she’ll walk away. [Read: How to treat a girl like a queen]
#5 Give her your full attention. It’s always surprising to me how many guys want to know how to talk to women in a way that’ll get their attention, but then never actually give the girl any of theirs. They play “hard to get” and make girls feel unimportant.
If you want to get a girl’s attention, make her feel special. You can do that by giving her all of your attention. Focus on her. Don’t get distracted while she’s talking because one of your friends said something funny.
#6 Make the topic about her. Don’t just waltz over and start bragging about how much money you make or anything else about you. If you shift the focus to her, you’ll have her hooked. Why? Because it shows you have an interest in her specifically.
#7 Ask questions. Preferably, make these open-ended questions. Don’t ask something she can answer with a yes or no. Make her think. Ask questions that’ll take her a while to answer so you can get into a deeper discussion.
#8 If she’s in a group, address them all. Don’t really single out one girl if she’s with a group. That’ll set off her alarms and her friends will think you just want to take her home. And with girls, their friends are important.
#9 Bring a friend with you. On the flip side, you can make a girl or group of girls feel more comfortable if you bring a friend. Normally, guys won’t have their friends tag along if they’re looking to make a move on a specific girl. It’ll put her at ease and make you seem more innocent in your intentions.
#10 Don’t make the objective taking her home. The second you do this, she’ll turn and leave. It shouldn’t be obvious that you want to take her home. If all you’re thinking about is that you want to score with her, you’ll end up coming across creepy and predator-like.
#11 Be yourself. As cheesy and you think this is, it’s true. Just be your normal self. Let your personality come through so she can see what you’re really like. That’ll help her decide if she’s into you or not – and she very well may not be. [Read: 14 steps to learn how to be yourself]
#12 Just be friendly. Now, make sure your “friendly” doesn’t come across as creepy because that’s a major issue with guys. Being friendly is about being polite and making conversation that has nothing to do with sex, her appearance, or anything else nasty.
Smile, ask about her day, talk to her a little bit, then ask if she’d like a drink. Don’t insist. Just ask. This doesn’t pressure her and it makes you seem friendlier.
#13 Look and smell good. To be honest, it might seem a little shallow, but girls do care about your presentation. If you’re dirty, are wearing something that looks bad, or you smell horrible, girls will probably turn away.
It’s just a bad impression. So put in a little effort to look and smell good and that will increase your chances of getting a girl’s attention when talking to her.
Knowing how to talk to women is actually pretty simple. Talk to her like a person, focus on respecting her and not taking her home, and then get a solid conversation started. You’ll have all her attention this way.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...