Walking up to a girl you’ve never spoken to before is like taking a dip in icy water. It makes you nervous. Your heart starts beating faster than you can count, and your stomach inches closer to your tongue with each step you take. Yet, as a guy, knowing how to approach a girl is one of the most important things to learn in the dating world.
Now we’re not going to make this any more difficult that you already assume it to be. Yes, talking to a girl you’ve never met before is not easy. But then again, if you know how to do it without appearing like you’re picking her up, you’ll realize just how easy the whole game can be. [Read: 12 ways to get a girl’s attention wherever you are]
Forget pick up lines, forget bumping into her, and every other *smart* move you’ve heard.
If you want to learn how to approach a girl, we’ll teach you to keep it simple, and help you win her heart even before you say ‘hello’.
Here’s the only tip that matters and you need to remember it for the rest of your dating life. Always let the girl know you want to talk to her before you even talk to her. Don’t make the mistake of approaching a girl out of the blue and asking her out. It almost always never works, unless you’re a smooth talker with the gift of gab. [Read: Easy ways to get a girl to notice you and like you without even talking to her]
If you’re a regular joe who wants to turn into a chick magnet, just follow these tips and you’ll win her attention before you finish your drink! Let’s break it down, step by step.
Look at her now and then just to let her know that you’re trying to catch her attention. Be sneaky and discreet, and always look away just as soon as she catches your eye. You’ll rouse her curiosity and that’ll force her to look at you now and then to see if you’re still watching her. [Read: 10 eye contact flirting moves that always work]
Each time she looks at you, look at her and immediately look away sheepishly. Continue to look at her now and then, and once in a while, lock your gaze at her for a small fraction of a second and look away again. By doing this, you’re already building the sexual attraction. But if she doesn’t reciprocate here, she’s probably not interested in you. Eye contact is one of the big go-to’s when learning how to approach a girl. [Read: 20 things that turn a girl on and gets her interested in a guy]
If you’re with your friends, look at her now and then, but appear like your distracted and not able to focus on the conversation you’re having with your friends. By doing that, you’re making her see that she’s on your mind and you’re too distracted to focus on your friends. That’s subtle flattery!
Exchange eye contact now and then, one or two times every minute and no more than that, and when you feel pretty courageous, flash a tiny smile from the corner of your lip for a second, and let her notice your smile. Don’t give her a big grin though, a malicious big grin at this stage will scare any girl away.
These moves are all about building the connection and letting her know you’re interested in her. And at the same time, it’ll also help you understand if she too is really interested in you. If she responds to your gestures similarly, it’s a sign that she’s interested in talking to you too.
But if she starts ignoring you at any point here, she’s probably not interested in you and you need to make your luck somewhere else. [Read: A step-by-step guide on how to ask a girl out if you’re a shy guy]
Sometimes, all you need to do is wait for the girl to give you a chance to talk to her. If she’s really interested in you and wants to talk to you, she’d create enough opportunities for you to walk up to her. She could do this by walking to the ladies room alone, stepping away from her friends by answering a phone call, or even by just smiling at you and leaving the place.
It’s always easier to talk to a girl when she’s by herself. There are no distractions from her friends or awkward moments because she’s already expecting you to approach her. [Read: Things you can say to a girl while talking to her for the first time]
Use the right gestures to get her attention. This is tricky, but as long as you get the message across, it’ll still work as long as you do it confidently.
Look straight at her, and smile. Jerk your neck sideways just a little bit after you lock your eyes with her, and using your eyes, point her to the bar counter or some exit. Even if she doesn’t get it, you can walk up to the place you were pointing at by yourself, and she’ll know what you mean.
Not all girls may appreciate you gesticulating at her and asking her to walk up to you, but if you’ve built the chemistry from afar, she’d be more than happy to get away from her friends and give you a chance to talk to her. [Read: How to be a man the way he really should be]
Walk up to her with your gaze fixed on her confidently. Walk right into the herd, but look straight at her and only her. Look at anyone else, and the envious friends would pounce on you with snide remarks because you didn’t pick them to flirt with.
“Hey… I really don’t mean to interrupt you girls, but could I speak with you for a minute? I just won’t be able to forgive myself if I left this place without getting to know you…”
Use any line you want and it’ll work as long as you say it firmly, but remember to make her feel special by saying something that reveals how badly you want to get to know her. And unless her friends seem to take your side by nudging her towards you or by smiling widely, completely avoid looking at them. You’d only be asking for trouble. [Read: 15 things girls look for in a guy to fall for him]
This is something that can work very well at a bar, as long as you’ve already built the eye staring up and roused her interest. Buy her the same drink she’s already having, and ask the waiter to offer it to her. The waiter will probably drop a corny and grand message like “the gentleman sitting over there would like to offer you this drink…”
When she accepts the drink and looks towards you smiling, that’s your cue. Don’t wait any longer or she’ll think you’re a coward. But if you buy her a drink without building the connection first, you’ll just come off as a creepy guy. [Read: 10 biggest dating turn offs for girls]
With a group of just two girls, walk right up to them while staring at the girl you like. If the girl’s interested in you too, her friend will slip away quietly with an excuse. But, even if the friend decides to stay, just introduce yourself and say something similar to the line used in the third point. This time, include the girl’s friend in your conversation and make her feel good about herself too. But don’t forget to keep the focus on the girl you like!
Keep these conversation moves in mind and it’ll definitely do you good. But if you want to make sure it works all the time, build the tension and the mystery first with your glances and your eye contact. You’ll always end up impressing the girl even before you approach her. [Read: Drawing a blank? Try these 25 good conversation starters]
Figuring out how to approach a girl is as much about knowing what not to do, as it is knowing what you should do! There are a few things you should totally avoid if you want this meeting to go well. A wrong move at a crucial point could mean that she turns her back on you and you’re left with that awkward stunned goldfish look on your face.
Not a good look.
Avoid these things at all costs.
Overconfidence isn’t attractive. If you come over as cocky, arrogant, or simply someone who loves his ego, she’s not going to want to talk to you. Just be yourself! [Read: 9 Subtle differences between a confident & arrogant man]
Please, if you do one thing, make sure that you throw cheesy chat up lines out of the window. “Do you come here often?” is not something you should ever utter. Not if you want her to actually take you seriously, anyway.
When you’re nervous, it can be very easy to be a little louder than you normally are. If the girl you’re trying to approach is with a group of friends, it’s far better to try and separate her from the group with a tip of the head of another gesticulation. But, if that doesn’t work, you should never just walk straight into a group of girls and try and be the loud one, to get attention. That’s literally like walking into the lion’s den!
You might find her super-attractive, but staring is just creepy and it’s not going to make her want to talk to you. Eye contact doesn’t mean staring, it means prolonged or regular glances. Practice if you need to! [Read: Why do guys stare at girls?]
She may be wearing a killer dress but that doesn’t give you permission to stare at her cleavage or her legs! Be respectful and focus on what she is saying to you and her personality instead. You might think she’s hot, but she might think you’re only after one thing.
If she shows you that she’s not interested and she regularly turns away from you, unfortunately you have to take the hint. Don’t be too over the top and too pushy. If she doesn’t want to talk, respect it and move on.
Learning how to approach a girl isn’t easy and it takes guts. However, remember that she is a human being just like you! Avoid putting her on a pedestal and it will be much easier for you to approach her and start up a conversation.
[Read: How to find out if a girl likes you in 12 subtle ways]
Use these tips on how to approach a girl you don’t know and with a few attempts, you’ll have no trouble walking up to any girl you like and impressing her within minutes of making eye contact with her!
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