Relationships are hard for everyone. Things get even harder when you decide to split and you’re left to figure out how to move on from a relationship by yourself. You’ll feel lonely, lost, and just not yourself for a while.
But you can get over it. The trick is finding a way to move on that’s healthy and doesn’t put you down a path of self-destruction. Many people going through a hard time end up finding coping mechanisms instead of helpful ways to move on.
Moving on is a long game
It’s not something that’ll happen overnight. If you’re looking for a quick fix, you won’t find that here… or anywhere else for that matter. Broken hearts are serious. You’re hit really hard emotionally and that kind of wound takes a lot longer to heal than you realize.
You have to plan for time. It takes a while to work toward getting over a relationship you were so invested in. Put that in your mind ahead of time and it’ll make the process of moving on a lot easier because you won’t be disappointed when you’re not over it in a single week. [Read: Getting over a breakup is easy if you break up first]
How to move on from a relationship the healthy way
There’s definitely a right and a wrong way to get over someone. You can either choose the path that’ll lead to more pain and heartache or you can choose the healthy option. We have the tips to assist with the latter in a seamless, easier way.
#1 Let yourself feel it. There’s no use in hiding the pain away. Don’t try to bury it down deep because when you allow it to get that far down, it’ll just fester. You’ll end up feeling even worse in the long run. You need to let yourself feel the breakup. Live through the emotions and cry and scream and let it all out. [Read: 10 stages of a breakup and how to get through them]
#2 Don’t go for a rebound. It’s tempting to want to let someone else take over instead of dealing with your own emotions. And as much as finding a rebound is recommended for a quick fix, it’s not exactly the healthiest option.
You’ll just have to deal with your emotions when that rebound is no longer there anyway. May as well not waste yours or their time.
#3 Talk to your friends. More than likely, your friends have been through this too. They know how you feel and are probably your best source of support. They’ll be there for you and will want to make you feel better. Reach out to them and vent. Get all your feelings out so they can assist. [Read: 8 healing steps to help a friend get over a breakup]
#4 Distance yourself from them completely. Get as far away from your ex as possible. It’s too difficult to learn how to move on from a relationship if they’re in your face all the time. The constant reminder will not only be painful, but it’ll also keep your feelings there a lot longer than they should be.
#5 Dive into your health physically. When you’re upset and feeling bad mentally, working your body and feeling great physically can actually help. It has a lot to do with the distraction but the endorphins also work really well to put you in a good mood. You’ll move on a lot faster if you have other goals to focus on.
#6 Work on your mental health. You need to care for yourself. Don’t just let your mind fill up with negativity. The more you let those thoughts fester, the worse you’ll feel. Think positively and focus on relaxing techniques that’ll help you get rid of negativity. [Read: How to be a more positive person]
#7 See a therapist if necessary. Not all of us can work through our emotions alone. We need help. If you find that’s the case for you, see a therapist. There’s nothing wrong with seeking help professionally if you can’t get through it alone.
#8 Look for the good in your breakup. Every breakup has a positive side. Maybe things were toxic between the two of you. Maybe now you have more time to focus on your own needs. Think about the great things that can come from this and it’ll help you move on in a healthier way.
#9 Reflect on the good in your relationship. Just because you broke up doesn’t mean your relationship was all bad. There were great things. Focusing on remembering your relationship for the good will help you avoid slipping into a negative headspace.
#10 Recognize the problems you both had. You need to admit what went wrong. In order to fully move on, you need that closure. Both parties probably did some wrong. Think back to what happened and recognize the problems in the relationship.
Not only will this help you move on, but it’ll also assist in a successful relationship down the road since you’ll know what mistakes not to repeat. [Read: 10 of the biggest problems in a relationship]
#11 Write down how you feel in a daily journal. In order to learn how to move on from a relationship, you have to figure out how to get your emotions out. A great way to do that is through writing.
Jot down how you feel and why in a daily journal. It helps track your progress in a healthy way and seeing your emotions written down can often help you process them more.
#12 Don’t check in on them. Never look up their social profiles and don’t even think about calling or texting. You can’t have that reminder. It needs to be a clean cut in order to move on from them in a healthy way.
#13 Enjoy more of your hobbies. Remember what you loved to do before you got with your ex? Do more of those things. Engaging in hobbies and activities that make you happy can help keep you in a positive mindset so you can move on easier. [Read: 8 fun ways you can start all over]
#14 Get back out there.Don’t be in the recovering phase for too long. The more you stay inside and avoid intimacy, the more difficult it’s going to be to get back out there. Once you’ve done all the steps above, focus on moving forward with your life in a romantic sense, too.
#15 Remember that not everything is meant to last. It’s a harsh reminder but it’s necessary. You need to remember that not every relationship is meant to last. Sometimes it’s better to end things in order to move on and find something better for you.
[Read: 14 steps for getting over someone you love]
Learning how to move on from a relationship is a part of life. When you figure out how to do it in a healthy way, you can move on faster and find love easier the next time around.
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