Being friends with an ex is a complicated decision that can go both ways.
On one hand, life could be perfect even after the breakup.
On the other, becoming a pal of your ex amour could do more damage than good.
[Read: 6 signs your ex is thinking about you]
So can you be friends with an ex?
In almost all cases, of course you can. After all, it’s really easy.
Both of you know each other really well and understand each other better than most others.
So how could that ever lead to a problem, right?
But at the same time, you have to remember the kind of relationship both of you have shared with each other.
You may both know each other well, but the relationship you once shared will never come back. It’s a whole new relationship that you’re building together in the form of a friendship.
Can you be friends with an ex?
There are many things you need to consider before you extend a hand of friendship to an ex.
Get these wrong and one of you may just try slipping a hand somewhere else.
Ask yourself these questions, and if you’re still convinced of a possible friendship, go right ahead. If you aren’t convinced, step away because being friends with an ex can actually make your life a nightmare.
8 scenarios when can you be friends with an ex
#1 You’re single and the sex was awesome
Let’s face it. Sometimes, you may have a terrible emotional connection with your ex. But the sex could have been awesome. No harm’s ever come off two exes turned sex buddies with no emotional connection. But do put an end to it when you think you’re ready for a real relationship. [Read: Things to know before having sex with your ex]
#2 When there’s mutual back scratching
Both of you may have drawn swords out while you were in the relationship. But now that it’s over, do both of you need each other for emotional support or to succeed in life? Do you work together or have a few sticky situations that need both of you to stay friends?
#3 Both of you are like siblings
If you were in a relationship where sex was nonexistent, then you should have no problems being friends. After all, sexual attraction is the biggest distraction for exes trying to be friends. Get that out of the way, and you can be friends or even siblings!
#4 It’s a happy breakup
Well, happy may be an exaggeration here. But did both of you break up mutually because both of you felt like the relationship wasn’t giving the happiness that both of you deserved? Mutual and happy breakups are easy to turn into friendship.
#5 The sexual tension’s dropped
Both of you may have been in a long term relationship, and after a while, the sex may have started to feel more like a weekly or monthly chore than pleasure. If you’ve just broken up from a relationship where you’re more attracted to someone else than your partner, it’s safe to buy each other friendship bands.
#6 A lot of common friends
If both of you share a lot of common friends and don’t really want to separate your friends or create an awkward get-together when you bump into your ex, perhaps it’s better off staying friends. Of course, you can still stay friends and keep your distance, can’t you? [Read: The right way to be friends with an ex]
#7 You go bumping all the time
Do you work in the same office? Do you live next to each other or are both of you neighbors? If you find that you have no option but to meet each other all the time, perhaps it’s better to raise a peace flag and friend each other on facebook. You could just wave or say ‘hi’, or even have a conversation once in a while.
#8 When you’ve got a lot to gain
Have you just broken up with your boss, or someone who can potentially give you a leg up or open a lot of big doors in your life? This is just dirty and you’re being friends for all the wrong reasons, but hey, this is life. If you can work for someone you hate, can’t you stay friends with your ex?
8 scenarios when you can’t be friends with an ex
#1 You’ve had an on off romance
If you find yourself getting confused over your feelings for your ex-turned-lover-turned-ex all the time, perhaps it would be best to avoid becoming friends with them.
#2 You’re madly in love with your ex
You may have put up a brave face and mutually broken up with your ex, but when you look back at the relationship, do you wish you could still be in the relationship? Sometimes, a relationship needs a breakup to really understand its real value. But unless your ex wants to date you again, don’t stay in touch with them. [Read: Things to think about before dating an ex again]
#3 You can’t bear the thought of you ex going out with someone else
It’s not jealousy. In fact, you know for certain that you would never want to date your ex ever again. But somewhere deep inside, you can’t stand to see your ex in someone else’s arms. This is a confusing emotion to experience, but don’t worry, you’re not alone. Just stay away and lose all touch with your ex.
#4 You can gain nothing out of the relationship
Really, is there any point in keeping in contact with an ex or staying friends if you really can’t gain anything out of the new relationship?
#5 Your ex is annoying
Is your ex an annoying pest who needs you like a nanny even after breaking up? Do they call you and ask for help or favors all the time? If your ex still needs you like a personal assistant, there’s really no reason in being friends and demeaning yourself for a rotten ex. [Read: 10 signs it’s time to end a friendship]
#6 Your ex dumped you
While it’s acceptable to stay friends after a mutual breakup, it’s just not acceptable to stay friends with someone who walked out on you and left you with a broken heart. And don’t even consider it if your ex cheated on you!
#7 Jealous of your ex
You may have broken up with your ex, but are you ready to give them up to someone else? If you’re secretly in love or find yourself getting tormented by annoying visions of your ex dating someone other than you, there’s just no point in being friends with an ex. [Read: How to stop feeling jealous of your ex]
#8 You’re single and looking for love
Are you single and desperately looking for love? If you miss being in love and are having a hard time finding the right person, avoid being friends with your ex. And even if both of you are friends already, stay away from your ex for a while until you can find someone you truly appreciate. Most exes who turn friends always end up falling in love when they can’t find anyone new to love.
[Read: How to find love again after a breakup]
So can you be friends with an ex? Visualize these scenarios well and ask yourself if you’re ready to be friends. A wrong answer could make your life a lot more miserable than you can imagine.
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