Maybe your man is highly secure, or maybe he’s secretly insecure. Here are 13 traits of insecure men in order find out the truth once and for all.
Men aren’t some superior gender who are impervious to insecurities. Men are people, and that means they’re bound to have insecurities and personality flaws. I know you want your man in shining armor to come and take your hand, but even he will have some issues of his own.
Now, having insecurities isn’t a negative thing, actually, I think it’s impossible to be completely secure with yourself. But there is a line between having them and letting them control your life.
Have you ever had a jealous boyfriend? Well, jealousy is an insecurity. Now, we all can become jealous, however, sometimes that emotion can absorb us and make us say and do crazy things.
I once knew a girl who’s boyfriend locked her in his closet while he went out to the club – that’s an extreme insecurity, and well, is also wildly abusive. Geesh, if that’s not one of the biggest traits of insecure men, then I don’t know what is. But the point is, you can see how these insecurities can also affect your life as well. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend you can’t ignore]
Here are the traits of insecure men
Some of these traits, like jealousy, can masquerade around as love. Like, “of course, he’s jealous – he loves and doesn’t want to lose me!” But take a closer look. These are the traits of insecure men that you should be mindful of. [Read: Are insecure men ever worth dating?]
#1 He’s highly protective. When Twilight came out, I thought Edward was the hottest guy. He was protective, he took care of Bella, he was her man. Now, I find this extremely possessive and overprotective. This is a huge warning sign. If he won’t let you walk to the grocery store alone because he’s worried you may get hurt, this guy needs to take a chill pill.
#2 He wants to change the way you look. He doesn’t like the way you look. Okay, he does, but he doesn’t want other people to like the way you look.
#3 He doesn’t have many friends. Yeah, which, I sadly understand. I personally wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who claims everyone as their own personal property. You end up being an emotional slave to them, walking on eggshells, just so you don’t hurt their feelings.
#4 He needs to make it known that he’s with you. While this isn’t always one of the traits of insecure men, it sure can be. I mean, you’re in a relationship, but he needs everyone to know that. He needs it to be on Facebook, Instagram, any social media where another man may see you… he wants to be in every photo. When you introduce him to people, he has to announce that he’s your boyfriend. Why? Because he’s claiming territory.
#5 You’re his entire world. Of course, it feels amazing when a man is in love with you and sees no one else but you. But then there’s this moment when you realize that you’re the only thing he sees, but literally, the only thing.
You’re basically his private property, you’re his world. He owns you, he’s possessive – which at the beginning, you found attractive, but now it’s too much.
#6 He’s jealous of other men. If another man looks at you or hits on you, he’s up in arms. He becomes defensive, wants to fight the guy, or blames you for what happened. The guy simply can’t handle the thought that other people find you attractive. Ugh, like, grow up, man. [Read: 17 big signs of a jealous and possessive boyfriend]
#7 He monitors what you do and where you are. He wants to know what you’re doing every second of the day, where you are, and who you’re with. He needs to know your agenda because, if not, he assumes you’re off hanging out with another guy… cheating on him. This guy needs to control every breathing moment. If he could watch you sleep, he would.
#8 He brings up your exes. Maybe you and your ex have a decent relationship, but he doesn’t see it like that. What he sees is that you still have feelings for your ex. Is that true? No. You worked hard to develop a healthy friendship with your ex and you have every right to do so. He’s insecure because he feels that he could lose you to your ex.
#9 It’s all about the guilt. That’s how he’ll get you to do things for him. And it’s one of the huge traits of insecure men. If you didn’t see him today, he’ll call you saying that you never see him and that you’re neglecting the relationship.
#10 He’s social media sensitive. Okay, we all stalk each other on Facebook and Instagram, that’s normal. What’s not normal is him making comments to you personally about photos you take with your friends or why you didn’t tell him you went for coffee with an old friend from school. He uses your social media to see if you’re lying and hiding things from him because he’s insecure.
#11 He has a horrible dating experience. All his past relationships ended with him being cheated on, or them leaving him. None of his past girlfriends cared about him and they all treated him like shit. At least, that’s what he tells you. In reality, he was overly demanding, required constant attention, and needed to be babied. [Read: Why men feel emasculated – 3 big reasons]
#12 He needs your attention constantly. If you can’t see him every day, he thinks you’re not interested in him or you’re seeing someone else. In reality, you’re busy with school and work but he doesn’t see that. He tells you, you’re neglecting the relationship and you don’t care about him. In other words, he’s insecure. [Confession: I’m a boyfriend who’s too clingy and needy]
#13 He threatens to breakup with you. Whenever you have a fight, he tells you he wants to break up with you and that you’re not good enough for him. This is all a ploy to get you in his grasp. If he tells you that you don’t love him, you’ll try harder to make him happy. He’s insecure, controlling, and manipulative, there’s nothing more to it.
Now that you know what the traits of insecure men are, the next time you’re on a date, look for these traits. I’m not saying you should run away if you see one of these, but usually, if he has one of these traits, he’ll have a couple more. So, in that case, run.
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A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...