In life, we come across a lot of interesting and fun people, and loads of dating potentials. But if you’re wondering, is he the one for you, you need to remember that not all good men make great dating potentials. So how to know if he’s the one for you for real? How can you really tell without wasting away a few years of your life before realizing the fact that he’s not respectful or even into you?
New relationships are like a perfect pair of shoes. It may look fancy when you see it, but you’re never going to know how good it’ll be until you take a walk wearing it.
[Read: 25 signs and qualities that make a really great boyfriend]
When it comes to love, it’s best to trust our own instincts. Many times, you may come across really nice men, but the chemistry may be lacking, or something may just feel wrong about it.
But what happens when you find a guy who fits like the missing piece of a puzzle, and you believe he’s a perfect fit for you? Does that mean you’ve met the one for you, the one who’ll keep you happy for the rest of forever? Unfortunately, we’ve all met these men and women with whom we share crackling chemistry and sizzling moments in the sheets. [Read: 22 big early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]
But it doesn’t always work out and materialize into a happy ending. At times like these, you need to think beyond chemistry and sizzle. You need to know if he’s the one for you in the long run.
Falling in love is always a wonderful experience. But too many times, you fall in love with a guy and start to dislike a few traits about him. And then you roll your eyes, overlook it as a habit and move on.
Those annoying habits could be overlooked for now, but many months later, these same habits of your boyfriend can surface and shatter your relationship. When you date a man who’s not the one for you, you may even end up ruining your own life by staying in a relationship for way too long, and compromising on everything you expected from a relationship.
The next time you date someone and you wonder, is he the one for you, keep an eye on these signs that are beyond just physical attraction, fireworks and sparks, and a good time in bed. Sometimes, it’s the very subtle things guys do that count, and this behavior predicts whether the two of you will be a perfect match for each other. [Read: What you need to look for in a guy before even considering dating him]
If you’re trying to find out if he’s the one, you need to understand what it takes to have a great long term relationship. And one of the most important requirements of long term love is communication.
Does he tell you how he feels, and does he ask about your feelings? Is he empathetic and understanding? A guy who’s closed up and brooding may seem mysterious and fun, but you can’t have a relationship a guy who can’t express his feelings.
Communicating with each other over the smallest of emotions can actually help both of you understand each other better and avoid misunderstandings that can lead to painful confrontations in the years to come. Some men are so closed up about their feelings that it would only frustrate you every time you try to understand what he’s thinking. [Read: 15 things immature men do and why you should definitely avoid them]
In many relationships, the men actually do know what their partner really wants. But they do nothing about it. Many men just take their girlfriends for granted, and pretend like they didn’t understand their girlfriend. How many times have we heard men say “you should have told me what you really wanted in the first place!”?
It’s not like a guy can’t understand what his girlfriend wants. In most cases, they try not to care because it’s easier to feign a lack of empathy. Is he the one for you? No. Avoid these men who act like muscleheads and pretend like you’re the one who’s confusing and don’t express your feelings. [Read: 30 facts about guys that can help you read his mind]
You’ll know he is the one if he sees you for who you really are. All women know men are visual creatures who are drawn to appearances first and everything else later. But that’s no excuse to be treated like an arm candy. Does he tell you that you look hot? Of course, he does.
But does he appreciate your other qualities? Does he see the real person beyond your boobs and butt? A man who looks at you as a dumb, good looking woman will never ever see the real you or understand your capabilities. And when he looks at you as just someone he can show off, he’s never going to share his problems with you or ask for advice. And that’s never good for a relationship. [Read: 15 signs of disrespect that reveal a real lack on love]
When you’re in love, respect takes a whole new definition. When you’re in love, respect is all about making a partner feel good about themselves. A man who is in love, respects the woman he loves.
If he’s the one, he treats you with respect and takes care of your needs. When you go out, he’s chivalrous and courteous to you. Does he pick a fight, order you around or snap at you when you’re with friends? If he really does respect you, he will pay more attention to you and your needs than any other woman’s when you’re around.
Most men are eager to please other women, and won’t really care about their own girlfriend because they’ve already won her over. This only makes you look more like his accessory than his lover. Tell him how you feel about it, but if his behavior doesn’t change, perhaps it’s time you change your man. [Read: How to be a high value woman he’ll never want to leave]
Men absolutely love their own guy time and space. But hey, so do women! You need your space too, and it’s not just about hanging out with your friends. This is especially true when both of you move in together.
Does he get upset when you’re smiling and texting your friends, or does he sulk when you go out with your own friends while he’s staying home because he was too lazy in the first place?
Being jealous is cute at first. But if he wants to be around you all the time, and stops you from having your own life, you need to tell him how you really feel. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend most girls don’t ever see]
Does he offer to help you out? Does he go out of his way to help you when you ask him? If he’s the one for you, your problems are his, and his problems are yours too. That’s one of the things that make a relationship work, when you accept to share responsibility.
And most men are really good at dodging their own responsibilities, while expecting their partner to uphold them. So how can he help you with yours?
A man who goes out of his way to help you out and share your responsibility sees you as a potential partner for life. And that’s the man you need in your life. [Read: 20 things happy couples don’t do in a relationship]
Yeah, you’ve got great boobs, we know. But that’s not what we’re talking here. When you get into a relationship, both of you bring your own burdens and packages. In this case, the package is your family, your friends, and everything else that defines you. Does he try to get along with your family? Does he make your friends feel comfortable when he meets them?
If you’re wondering how to know if he is the one, see the way he behaves around the people that matter to you. If he’s indifferent or not particularly bothered to impress your package, then he’s not really interested in a long term relationship with you. [Read: New boyfriend guide – The dos and don’ts every girl must know]
Does he come home late one night, or cancels a date out of the blue for no apparent reason? Does he start sulking or whining now and then and doesn’t say why?
Bad boys and unpredictable men may seem sexually exciting and fascinating. A woman may look at these men as a pet project to tame a wild stallion. But it doesn’t really work that way if you want him to be the one for you.
Unpredictable men can end up making you very frustrated and angry over the months and years, and can lead to arguments in love. If you don’t like a guy for who he is when you met him, don’t expect him to change his life for you once he’s starts dating you. [Read: What to look for in a guy? 20 things that matter beyond looks]
Spending a lot of time together can stifle relationships and prevent either of you from growing as individuals. But that’s where that one special guy makes the difference. Does he help you nurture your own dreams? Does he encourage you to try new things?
You may tell him you want to quit your job and start your own venture, or you may ask him for some ideas on how to make your project better. How does he respond to that? Does he sit with you when he’s got the time and discuss a few workable solutions, or does he just shrug his shoulders and says he has no idea?
How to know if he is the one? A man who doesn’t pay attention to his woman’s dreams and aspirations is a selfish pig who doesn’t care what you do in life as long as he’s happy. [Read: How to know if your partner is truly supportive of your goals]
Many chauvinistic men are extremely jealous of their girlfriend’s success. At times, they’ll intentionally stay away from helping you, or start sulking or behaving badly when you get more attention.
But a man who truly loves you will beam with joy and pride each time you succeed at something, instead of getting annoyed by your dreams and achievements.
Does your boyfriend try to hog attention by acting like a child when you’re in the limelight? Perhaps, he’s jealous of you and can’t really accept the fact that you could become more successful than him. A person like this will never help you, or even let you succeed in life. [Read: 17 big signs of a jealous and possessive boyfriend]
We’ve heard of women making men better men. But it has to work the other way too. Does he help you become better at what you do? Does he emotionally support you? Does he give you the motivation and determination to become a better person?
All of us have our shitty days and feel like failures now and then. At times like these, we need a partner who can make us see the bright side of things, someone who knows us inside out and gives us the strength to stand again. Can he be that man for you?
A relationship is about give and take, yes. But if he is the one, he will protect you and make you a better person, even if you’re the only person stopping yourself from going ahead in life. [Read: Why being an Instagram boyfriend makes a guy awesome, and not whipped]
Every now and then, women can get a bit moody, it’s what makes the feminine energy so fascinating and colorful. Can he handle it without getting frustrated with you?
All of us suffer from sudden bouts of irritation or frustration, both men and women. But most men have a lower tolerance for mood swings and unpredictable behavior from their woman. Can your man smile with you and put up with you? Can he shower you with affection when you’re feeling lonely, and put up with your tantrums when you’re irritated? You’ll know if he is the one when he can bear with your tantrums. [Read: 13 things a boyfriend should do if he wants to prove his worth]
Just like how you’re looking for the one, a great guy’s looking for his one too. While these tips and siggestions may help you, he’s got his own list in mind too. [Read: What men look for in a woman to be drawn to her]
If you really want to see yourself in a happy relationship, you should remember that it’s all about give and take in love. If you want him to be the ideal guy, you should have the same expectations from yourself and be the one for him too.
Many girls wonder if great guys who are defined by these traits actually exist in real life. But as a matter of fact, they do. Don’t let social media fool you into thinking every nice guy is a SIMP, and the world is only full of arrogant and self-centred men.
There are a lot of great men who are out there, waiting to meet you and be the one for you. All you have to do is give a great guy a chance to see the real you.
So how to know if he is the one? You’d never know until you take the plunge and give him a chance to love you. But all the while you’re wondering, is he the one, remember to communicate, learn and give a great relationship a chance to bloom by being a great partner yourself.
Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.
LOVEPANKY IN YOUR INBOX
Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox!