Are you in love with a guy who seems to be in love with his ex? Here are 13 secret signs he’s not over his ex that can help you read his mind. By Francesca Marie
Are you dating a guy who seems to have a rather soft spot for his ex?
If you’re troubled by the quicksand of sappy emotions your man has for his ex flame, you’re not alone.
And it’s completely acceptable to hate him for it.
Really now, if he’s still in love with his ex, what the heck is he doing with you?
If a guy tells you that he still thinks of his ex fondly, you could admire his honesty.
And then you can kick him out to the curb.
But what do you do when he says he’s over his ex, but you still don’t believe him?
[Read: Does your boyfriend speak to his ex often?]
Is he over his ex?
Getting over an ex is never easy.
If you’ve been in a passionate relationship that had to end, you’d know how hard it is to get over a special someone.
While it’s not easy to forget someone you once loved, there’s a thin line between forgetting someone and staying in love with them.
If your boyfriend still loves his ex, chances are, he still wants to get back with his ex. And that is definitely not something you should put up with.
You’re not a rebound girl nor are you his nanny to nurse his heart to good health so he can regain his broken heart pieces and pursue his ex again when he feels better.
13 signs he’s not over his ex
If you see any of this behavior in your new squeeze, it’s time to have that talk with him. Does he love you or is he still in love with his ex? Are you just a rebound or are you someone he truly loves? [Read: How to tell if he's serious about you]
After all, the start of a relationship is all about infatuation and lust. If he says he loves you, yet gets flustered when he sees his ex or spends all the time thinking of his ex, can he ever love you when all he does is dream of her?
Here are 13 signs that can help you figure out if he’s over his ex or not.
#1 He talks about her all the time. It doesn’t matter if he talks fondly of her or bitches about her all the time. If he thinks of her, he still has feelings for her. If a guy has come to terms with his break up, he won’t keep whining about it. He’ll get over it.
Only a guy who’s constantly bothered by thoughts of his ex would like ranting about it to his present girlfriend. If your boyfriend constantly finds ways to bring his ex into the conversation without you initiating it, he’s definitely still missing her. [Read: How to get to know a guy you want to date]
#2 His browser talks. Unless your boyfriend is a sneaky ex lover, he’ll definitely leave a few signs now and then on his computer or phone. If your boyfriend’s browser history shows that he’s been visiting his ex’s facebook or twitter account or her blog often, he’s definitely not over his ex.
So how much is too much? Checking up on an ex once a week is barely acceptable, but if he’s been frequenting his ex’s pages more often than that, you need to have that talk with him.
#3 He looks flustered when he bumps into her. The next time you walk hand in hand with your boyfriend and bump into his ex, watch how he behaves. Does he let go of your hand immediately, or does he get flustered or mumble like an awkward prepubescent child? If his heart races or he starts sweating around his ex, she’s definitely been running marathons in his mind behind your back.
#4 He keeps in touch with her. Exes don’t stay friends. Well, unless they’ve become sexless after a long boring relationship. There’s no good reason for exes to stay friends unless there’s something binding them. If your new boyfriend is good friends with his ex and frequently contacts her, you definitely have reason to worry.
#5 He gets annoyed when he hears that she’s dating someone new. He’s dating you. He’s happy. But if he gets to know that she’s dating someone new and turns into an uncontrollable whining boy, he’s obvious pissed off that she’s doing the deed with someone new. If he’s truly happy with you and has overpowered any strings of residual love, he shouldn’t be bothered if she dates someone else. [Read: 12 signs he really is the one for you]
#6 He’s her Man Friday. Exes don’t have to stay friends, but they can still keep in touch with each other. But if your boyfriend behaves like her slave and is always ready to help her out of a spot, he’s definitely trying to stay in her good books for a reason. Only a guy who’s still in love will constantly try to help an ex out with her life, be it by being the handyman or someone to chauffer her around.
#7 He enjoys getting teased with his ex. Does your boyfriend stiffen a giggle or does he blush like a little girl when you pull his leg with his ex or when his friends tease him about a romantic incident involving his ex? Men don’t get shy. They get surly and angry when they’re being teased about a bad incident with an ex. Only lost and lovelorn lovers like fantasizing and talking about exes with a glazed look of happiness plastered over their faces. If your boyfriend loves hearing about his ex or getting teased with her, he obviously likes being associated with his ex even now.
#8 He’s still got her gifts or memories lying around the house. A boyfriend who still holds a stuffed toy given by his ex while lying in bed is never good news for a new lover. Does your boyfriend have all her gifts placed neatly around the house? Does he still use the watch she gave him? And wait a minute, is that her toothbrush near his sink? Yes, you’re allowed to stick it up his romantic ass!
#9 It’s been less than three months since his break up. Break ups take time to heal. If you’re in a relationship with a guy who’s broken up with his girlfriend less than three months ago, he’s definitely not forgotten about his ex already. And chances are, gasp, you’re his rebound girl even if he doesn’t know it himself. [Read: 15 signs you’re in a rebound relationship]
#10 He clings onto his memories. Do you find him clinging onto his memories when he thinks you’re not around? Does he hold something of hers or droolingly stare at her facebook page when he thinks you’ve left the room? Does he stare at an old text from her when you aren’t around? If you see your boyfriend dreamily staring at his ex’s face on his computer while tenderly moving his fingers across her image, walk out of his place and never walk back in again.
#11 He’s not ended the relationship yet. This is a tricky place to be in. This is something you’ll come to experience if you steal a guy from his girlfriend. Was he still in a relationship when you wooed him away with your sexy ass? He may not have broken up yet, and he even though he’s told you that he’s ended the relationship, he may still keep in touch with her. [Read: Signs he's dating someone else along with you]
His excuse? “It was such a big shock to her… I need to ease her out of loving me over time… You understand, don’t you, sweetheart?”
Your answer. Yes, slamming the door is a good move.
#12 He hasn’t deleted her texts. Does your new boyfriend have loads of his ex’s lovey notes and dirty talking texts? Seriously, which guy in his right mind keeps his ex’s old texts stored in his phone? There may be a huge list of texts, but deleting it is the right thing and only thing to do if he’s actually over her.
#13 He has her pictures. Does your boyfriend have pictures of his ex on his computer or in his phone? Or perhaps, even lying around the house? That’s not good, but it’s acceptable as long as he understands to delete or move all those photos away into a CD as soon as you voice your insecurity. [Read: 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend]
If your boyfriend was in a relationship for a while, he may even have his ex’s nudie pictures and steamy sex videos too. Of course, he won’t tell you about it.
As long as he’s moved all his ex’s pictures and videos into some corner of the attic, never to see it again, it’s all fine. But if he has a few images hidden around the house *hidden, but easily accessible*, then he’s definitely taking a good look at his ex while you’re all alone in the shower.
[Read: 16 do's and don'ts to make your boyfriend want you more than ever]
Sometimes, all of us miss our exes or think of them. But there’s a thin line between a passing thought and an obsession. Keep an eye on these signs that he’s not over his ex and talk to him about it. It’ll clear the air and help you make up your mind.
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I would like to know what you think. Is is possible to still be in love with your ex- girlfriend and still date another one. My ex-boyfriend wanted to date me again a few years ago but for some very complicated reasons to explain right now I said no. I still loved him and he loved me so so much He asked for a hug. Well! he dated someone else for 4 years before he passed away. A friend saw hi 3 weeks before his death. She said he only talked about. As if I was the girl of his life. I said, well maybe its because she does not know his girlfriend. I called his girlfriend to wish my condolences. She had never heard of me but found a letter I wrote years back that my ex- kept. Then another friend said that he used to talk about me but that was years ago… Still, I held a special place in my ex heart and he cared deeply about me. Do you think he still loved me but had no choice to date someone else because he wasn’t going to stay single all his life?
Thanks for your time and answer. Its a mind boggling question. Gen
he was really inlove with you dear!
So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for two years now. He’s a great guy and has never cheated on me. 4 months ago we deleted our facebooks due to jealousy BUT a month ago I added mine back and he made a new one. I told him to block his ex girlfriend (that he dated for a year, they were pretty serious and he dated me quickly after) and some other girl that tried to get in between our relationship. He didn’t struggle what so ever. He was completely understanding.
He has a twitter account thoough (he made me delete mine because of jealousy). Then made his own like 6 months after. I was recently at his place, checked it for the very first time and noticed that he’s been talking to his ex and the other girl that I asked him to block on Facebook.
What am I supposed to think of this?? And it’s never them starting the convo. It’s him tweeting about their tweet, kinda playfully too. He said he wouldn’t talk to them, yet he’s talking to them where I cant see…
Ive been living with my boyfriend for a year now, I feel like he’s still not over his ex, which bothers me a lot!. He’s been with her for 5 years… He has stuff lying around and yes I catch him all zoned out… When I go to his brothers house there’s a few pic of her… Which kills me. Case it doesn’t help someone get over there ex!. Like wtf!!!?!… Don’t get me wrong he treats me great but then again everyone has their flaws.. I had to make a big fuss with the pics on the computer and delete little things she had left on his Fone.. I really didn’t want to be the person to do that, but that isn’t fair to the person you live with. He tells me numerous times he won’t be getting back with her but that’s happened before a little time period. I LOVE HIM sooo much, I’ve made to s of sacrifices to be with him. All these things around the house, he leaves them out in the open when he walks by or w.e… Ugggghhhhh!, how I fucking loathe that!… What am I supposed to do or say?… I know it takes time but if all these things are in your face everyday, I don’t think it helps the person get over their ex… Sighhh*… Should I be worried?
When I met my boyfriend of 10 months he was single but secretly talking to an ex that is underage. They obviously couldn’t be together because of an age difference and he would end up in jail. We hit it off great and started dating when I found out he was still talking and seeing her, telling her he loved her and wanting to be with her. When I found out right away I ended it and said its either me or her and he did the whole apology thing and said he really did care about me, then basically he tried to hide that he was with me about 2 months into trying it out again, when I found out I was furious! I beyond blew up infront of him and his best friend. I told him I was done went to my best friends house and didn’t talk to him at all. His best friend texted me saying he really cares about me and I said he should have thought about it before he decided to lie to both of us..Eventually I gave him one last chance and we were doing great. It was about nine months that we were together and he finally told me he loved me and the next day we had a wedding to go to when he saw his ex and he just fell apart and basically told me drunkenly that he regretted saying he loved me. And now 10 months dating and he wont say it and I straight up asked him and he said he was sorry that he couldn’t say it and sorry he still cared about his ex..but yet he always talks about the future saying things like when we get married…or things that seem like we are permanent. My gut keeps sending me red flags over this but I feel like I should just wait and see how it goes. Im just afraid that once his ex turns 18 he will just drop me for her, which would be about a year and a half for us being together which makes me think how can he do that after being together for such a long time..I know they still talk because I told him I cant be the bitchy person to say no they cant talk but it’s very seldomly that they do and shes been dating someone for a couple of months now and posts things saying she loves him already…I just don’t know where to go from here..if I should seriously consider walking away or hold on??? Help
My Ex and I were Friend’s Before Lover’s. We knew each other for 5 year’s before we began to date. We met each other at age 13 But we dated at age 19. Which lasted about 3 year’s. We were extremely young. And both new to true love. But we had an incredible bond. I’m still growing so is he. I broke up with him for about a year and began to focus on my career and school. I chose to be celibate. One day I found out he’s dating someone new. I was completely heart broken. But I understand he’s a man he wouldn’t stay single for long. especially after begging me to be with him again for so long people start to give up. & I acted as though I didn’t care so he could move on I thought that was what I wanted. But it wasn’t. Back to the new girl he dated it hurt. So I told him it’s best if we don’t speak anymore he wouldn’t give up. He called constantly. I ended up changing my number blocked him on any social networks. It was far to emotional I couldn’t live on because he would not let me go.& I couldn’t live with such pain. This year I haven’t called him for any holiday’s or birthday’s like I usually do But I was still broken I refused to let him know. So I gave him a Call . Blocked my number so he couldn’t get in contact with ne and I asked how he was. I kept it simple didn’t want him to have the upper hand at all. We ended up speaking for about 10 hour’s since we were both off work. Before I hung up he insisted I call him anytime. I am the type of woman whom respects any relationship even if my ex has someone new. That’s the type of woman I am. My birthday comes around a few week’s later he email’s me a happy birthday and sends flower’s. His sisters were also emailing me happy birthday. It felt great I’ve missed him so much. One day he emailed me (remember ) he doesn’t have my number to call and he asks About the past. I responded telling him it’s in the past now. He Then wrote an essay explaining how he still DREAMS about the spontaneous sex. How he still has some things I’ve left at his house a while back. Old text. Pictures. Gifts. Bras Undies. And he remembers all of the times we had he reminds me of every moment. and Misses Them. How us drifting apart is Not what he wants. He felt it was the wrong timing the first time around and how he Still IN LOVE’ WITH ME TILL THIS DAY. And how he refuses to live his life without me. He answeres my message’s Right away. And when we talk we have incredible memories and great conversations. He’s a bit afraid I would break up with him again I can see his fear. But I love him with every bit of my heart and he love’s me AS well. His parent’s even plan on us getting married some day. I’m still taking it slow. I do not want a relationship Until I finish college I see myself spending the rest of my life with him. Only thing I’m not sure if he’s still dating the same girl. I’m not sure if she was just Rebound. But I don’t want to ask About it yet Until we are back on good terms. And I don’t want him to think I want him back. We are starting over as bestfriends. He’s extremely Straight forward & if she is still in the picture he will let her Know He will continue to have me in his life rather she likes it or not. But I’m not the type to disrespect any relationship. I have choices some involve him in my future and some don’t. I don’t want him to be “the one that got away” I know I could have him Today. But I’m thinking FUTURE. Until I find out if she’s still in the picture. My questions are unanswered. _
hi! I have known the guy I have been dating for about 15 years and have been dating him for almost 2 years. He and one of his ex’s have a child together and for some reason when he leaves he runs right to her house. He tells me he does not like her but it’s a roof over his head. All she does is text me saying that they have slept together. anyways a few weeks ago he went there for like 5 days and she was saying she had him, which I really did not think she did but he also looked me in the face and told me he did not and that he does not like her. Well I looked in his phone and she had sent him a picture of her laying on the couch in her bra and underwear and that was from when he was there and he kept it. Than his excuse is that he like the underwear and bra lol. Why would he keep this on his phone if he loves me and wants to move foward with our relationship? we have a 9 month old son together. Do you guys think he has been with her and if he still has feelings for her? should I be mad at this? I really feel hurt because he always tells me i have nothing to worry about.
I have been dating this man for almost 3 yrs. now. He confessed to me that he has been talking to his ex. Casual conversation as he called it. Talking about helping him to park his Van on their yard to sell it. Well, one day she called him and he didn’t picked up the phone and i asked him who it was and he said it was his ex. I asked why you didn’t picked up, he said,it just don’t sound right to talked to her in front of you, i raised my eyebrows i said, call her back right now..and asked what she wants and why she called you. and he did called her back while i have my hands on my waist. He told her that he can’t park the Van at their Yard and hanged up. I told him, I don’t understand why you keep talking to your ex when you are trying to move on and have a relationship with me. It’s either go back to her or stay with me your choice i don’t play that game. I told him, You are giving her the impression that you are not so over with her and you cannot move on because you are a hard loser. And he tried to defend himself by telling me, why i can’t be friends with my ex. i just answer him, because i don’t. And i asked him, If he wants to call my ex and have a nice conversation with him. He hit the roof. So i said. Your call, i let you know that it bothers me, i will not chase you. You are free to go. After that, I never caught him again yet.
I’ve been with my guy for a year and a half now. I just found out that he’s been constantly talking to and texting his ex EVERYDAY. They do have a 12year old son together, and I can understand why communication needs to remain open…But everyday seems a bit much. I have expressed my concerns to him. His response is that they’ve known each other since they were 14 y/o (they are 44 y/o now), so they are like best friends. They entered into a relationship once, broke up and then got back together again. He lives with me, sleeps in my bed and said they he didn’t realize that we were in a relationship???? I feel used and concerned that once he gets back on his feet (which i’ve been helping him do), that they will get back together again. Just knowing that she is the first person he talks to in the morning and the last at night makes me uncomfortable, but he claims it’s all innocent and that the reason is basically my fault because I have a job that doesn’t allow me to just sit and talk on the phone all day. He doesn’t work, so he gets lonely during the day and she is a security guard that has to work outside on a loading dock by herself and calls to talk. It’s fishy, but I just don’t want to put him out on his tail. My question is how can i place this out of my mind and move on? I’ve been in this situation already and based on the outcome, it’s not looking good.
My boyfriend is always talking about his ex to me and Ive told him a bunch of times that i dont like her so you can talk to her but dont talk to me about her but he brings her up everytime we are on the phone. When his ex texts him he tells me everything she says and how much he hates her. And im just like wel if you hate her then why will you not stop talking about her1 I just dont know what to do!
I have been dating this guy since 2010 our relationship was a bit complicated like he would only call me when he needed something or says he misses me. I was at a university out of town that time and he used to call and we would stay on the phone for hours. I got pregnant by him and he didnt contact me as often when i told him i was pregnant and he kept quite for over a year that was in 2011 November when he stopped calling. In that long period of us not being in touch he would make fake facebook profiles one of them he sent me a message which was like “Baby how is london my pretty queen, the one next to my side. God loves you more than i do, i cant leave to forget you. And another time last year in July because i accidentally added him on facebook, he wrote me a message which said “hi babz, how re u. been a long time, i ve tryed ma best to gte accross to u buy no means. hope u re gud”. Another one was “Hi hun
How re u. Its so unfortunate that I can’t get intouch with u. Nd am sorry in anyway if I get u upset. But I tried getin intouch but all my effort was hopeless. Anywayz how re u. Just checking on u”. Later on early 2013 in January he adds me on whatsapp saying ” hi babz, longtime though, happy new year my reply was who was this, and he was like my name is Allen, so i said i dont know anyone by that time and if he could send me a picture to remind me who this is so he sent his picture and to find out it was him and we carried on talking coz he asked where i was and if i was okay. Does this still mean he loves me? I need your help guys. Thanks
Even though he is seeing someone at the moment/or other girls. He is not faithful and even his facebook name “Ex Boo” explains all. But i just want to know if he loves me even though he is seeing someone new at the moment. Based on the fact that he has kept in touch with me whilst dating someone else.
been with my bpyfriend for 18months. Its been up and down with both being ill. But i am concerned that he is still in love with his ex wife. They have two children together so i understand that yhere needs to be communication. The ex wife has made it very clear that she doesnt love him, but he still talks about her often, types her name into google and youtube, drops plans he has made with me to help his ex wife. Mocks me to his ex wife, calling me his taxi. He has uploaded photos of tjeir weddinh onto our shared laptop in the last month. He told someone that for the first 6months aftrr ahe ended their relationship that he was hoping she would take him back, eventhough he had met me. He said this when i was in the room. Does he love her still and settling for 2nd best or am i being silly!
I like a boy that used to date a girl from my school (we were not friends, just acquaintances). I believed he sent me some signals, but I’ve never been good at detecting signals from guys, so whatever. I’m aware he and his ex girlfriend broke up around 7 months ago, but it was because she was moving to another city and they didn’t want to have a distance relationship. He talked about her rarely, but I also brought her some times (since I know who she is and we’ve talked to each other). Once we went out the two of us and he talked about how distance relationships weren’t his thing and stuff like that. Then he said “what he liked about a girl” and he mentioned his ex and said she wasn’t really smart, or pretty, but he thought (past tense) she was interesting. However the very next day, we go out with a group of friends and she was there. We talked (her and I) and everything normal, but I would say (I don’t know if it was only me) they looked like they still had feelings for each other. She actually came back to the city to say goodbye and pack her things because she was not only moving to a different city, but also to a different country. The day she left, she actually wrote in her facebook profile “Because you only know you love her when you let her go” and he liked that status! Appart from that, they haven’t had any other facebook likes or stuff like that, but I’m still worried. I don’t want to interfere where there’s still a relationship.
I have asked this boy( I used to date) if we could try again but take it slow .unfortunately he said no so I have left seperate gaps between and dated 9 boys to try n make him go out wiv me but every time my mates ask him out(when I don’t want them 2) he just get annoyed n says NO :’( what shall I do gals any tips ‘ll do!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope u understand what I been through
My boyfriend and I met at church after knowing eachother for two years we stated dating now we have one year together and he says here Wantss to Marry me and have a family but recently I went on his facebook and he was talking to hes ex who lives in Mexico he was telling her tht he want to go visit soon and she said Ohh ethyl you probably will already be married and he said no im not and they stated flirting alittle and he told her she was nice and nobleand a great person and he says he cant wait to see her and im planning on breaking up with him first thing tomoroow even though I kno hes going to beg me to not leave him!! and I already kno hes going to say he loves me because we went trew alot together trying to get or parents to let us go ot since he was 19 and I was 17 when he first started going out.. im so sad and depressed this sucks
Hi. I started likin this guy this year but every since i met him he was with this girl. They were on an off for 2 years. An they loved eachother. Well in the past couple months everytime they would break up, me an him would hold hands an then he would text me for a couple days, then him an his girlfriend would be back together. So yea, i know i was a rebound then. But am i now? We started talkin again last week… Saturday we went to an Amusement park (our parents job got free tickets, so we met up) an while we were there we did nothing but hold hands. Then Sunday he picked me up an we went on a date to the park, started dating that night. But i wanna know if he still wants to be with his ex. He tells me “oh she begs for me back an when i do all she does is try to argue you me an i just cant handle her bs no more an i gotta move on. You have nothing to worry about. Just trust me. What can i do for you to trust me?” An i mean im the one that brings it up sayin “im scared that your gunna get back with her” And i would trust him about it… but all the other times that we talked he said they wernt gettin back together, but a couple days later he would stop talkin to me n would b talkin to his ex again. But the real reason i wanna believe his this time is because he actually took me to the park for a date, an he actually asked me out this time. An he wont say i love you un till he really means it so then i feel even more that i can trust him. I dont know what to do or think. Please help