Every once in a while, you may meet a great guy who’s all that.
And on a rare occasion, you may find that this guy behaves rather suspiciously.
Now is he married or dating someone else, or is he just a guy with a lot of secrets?
Either ways, that’s not good news for you.
You may not go hunting for a married man, but every now and then, you may find yourself in his arms, when you least expect it.
[Read: Having an affair with a married man]
Some men always want the best of both worlds.
They want to have a stable committed relationship with one person and a happy quick fling with someone else.
Don’t blame yourself if you find yourself falling head over heels in love with someone who’s dating someone else.
But do blame yourself if you don’t see the gaping signs.
Is he married or seeing someone else?
While every married man is extremely careful about leaving a trail of bread crumbs for you, there are always a few subtle signs that can give even the best of cheaters away.
So is he dating someone else while pursuing you at the same time? Follow the signs.
[Read: How to have the perfect start to a new relationship]
He pays by cash
Now this could mean he either has a lot of money in his hands or a built-in atm in his butt. These days, everyone’s way too comfortable using plastic money. If you’re dating a guy who never ever uses a card, he’s either got bad credit or doesn’t want another woman to know of his extracurricular activities with you behind her back.
The story of his life
Do you know anything about his life? Or does he convince you that he’s a secret agent? A guy who’s married may have several reasons to change the conversation when you ask about the details of his work because he wouldn’t want you visiting him there. A single guy would be happy to show you off. Do you even know anything about his personal life, his family or what he does when he isn’t having sex with you? Sounds fishy, doesn’t it?
The first few dates are all about exploring each other and learning about each other. If all your dates revolve around sexual explorations in bed, he may not really want you to know too much about him, and he may not care to know you better.
Have you ever met his friends?
You’re a great chick. Any guy would want to flaunt you in his arms. So has he introduced you to his friends after the first few dates? If he’s treating you like a well kept secret, perhaps his intentions are to keep it that way.
And if he ever bumps into a friend or a coworker when he’s out with you, does he try to avoid that person or end the conversation quickly? Now why would anyone want to do that? [Read: Does he want a secret relationship?]
Those happy, happy dates
How does he behave with you when you both go out to a burger joint or a coffee shop? Does he put on his high performance vision goggles and scan the room now and then? If a guy constantly looks around like something’s bothering him when he’s on a date with you in a public place, he’s obviously scared to be seen at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong chick.
And what about the PDA? Does he try holding your hands or kissing you when you’re at the coffee shop? If he’s not indulging in public display of affection, he’s trying his best to avoid being seen by someone. Who? His wife? His girlfriend? You’ll get to know… someday.
Those lonely, affectionate dates
As distant as he may have seemed in a public place, does he flip on the reverse switch when he’s in a beautiful, romantic plush restaurant that’s all lonely and romantic? If a guy who doesn’t want to touch you with a barge pole in public suddenly becomes a passionate Don Juan wannabe in isolation, he’s either got a split personality or another woman back at home.
Those interrupting phone calls
Does the man of the moment avoid answering phone calls when he’s with you? Ooh, that’s sweet, isn’t it?
Add ‘totally romantic’ and ‘very considerate guy’ into your list of good things about him. But if his phone rings again and this time, he walks out of your earshot to whisper into the phone, add ‘possible cheater’ to that list too.
His phone conversations with you
Does he have a home phone? Most cheating husbands and boyfriends suffer from temporary amnesia when it comes to remembering that they have a home phone, especially when they’re having a little fling thing with a woman like you.
What about his speaking habits? Does he behave normally when you call him at odd hours? Does he even answer your call? Or does he respond and speak with you like it’s a business call? If he speaks like he’s waiting to have phone sex at one time of the day and speaks in Morse codes at another time of the day, he’s definitely got a shifty personality.
Hanging out in the hood
Does your new boyfriend invite you over to his place? Or does he make up a series of convincing excuses to do anything else but go to his place?
If he loves hanging out in your place all the time, but never invites you back home, he’s hiding something. Single guys love inviting dates over to their place. It brings him closer to getting another notch on his bed post. So if a guy you’re dating wants to have sex, but doesn’t want to take you to his bed, he may well be sharing his own bed with someone else.
His single status
When you talk to him about his single status, does he respond convincingly? Every single guy either knows how to cook a great meal or knows all the local restaurant phone numbers by heart. If he can’t rattle off a long list of places to eat and places where he gets his laundry done, he’s obviously making up a few things. Like his single status!
Patterns in his travel plans
Many married guys who are working in one state may have their wife and kids in another state. Now when he’s got all the time in the world, he wouldn’t have any problem playing the dating game and being the protective family man now and then.
Does he have a very rigid travel plan, like him going away for one weekend every two weeks or something like that? If he’s divorced and travels to see his kids, this may seem like a valid reason. But can you contact him at any time you want when he travels away or does he have fixed slots for your call?
And if he’s really into you, perhaps, you could accompany him sometime to his hometown. If he does feel awkward about you meeting his kids, then you could tag a friend along and spend the weekend with your friend and catch up for lunch with your boyfriend in the neighborhood restaurant. Sounds simple, but it won’t seem so simple if he’s happily married and not divorced. [Read: How to meet the one?]
His reaction to spontaneous dates
How does he behave when you plan a few spontaneous dates with him? Does he look horrified or does he shuffle his feet and squirm as he makes up an impromptu excuse?
A guy who’s fresh in love will do anything to be with you and impress you. A guy who’s hooked with someone else can’t do any of that. If you’re having some serous doubts about him, get him to stay over often at your place. If he’s married or dating someone else, chances are, he’ll get a call or a text at some point of time.
[Read: How to steal a guy from his girlfriend]
He wants you, baby, and he wants you now!
Is this new man in your life pursuing you aggressively and trying to look for places and spaces to slip his ding dong in all the time?
Every guy who’s looking for a quick fling or an affair will always sweet talk you, convince you and ever force you into getting physical with him at the earliest. Think of it from his perspective, he knows any woman he dates will start to doubt him soon enough, so it’s always better to have sex as soon as possible. Even if he thinks he’s on the verge of getting caught, he’s seen you all over and done the deed with you. He can quickly move on a happy man.
Reminds you of a dog that sniffs a car and then quickly pees over it before getting caught, doesn’t it? Well, don’t be that car!
[Read: Is it time to break up?]
So is he married or dating someone else? These signs are all you need and more. The next time you’re in love with a suspicious guy who’s doing all he can to bed you on the first date, keep your eyes peeled and remember these signs.
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