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30 Infidelity Signs of a Cheating Partner & Must-Knows to Tell If They’re Lying

Do you think that your partner is lying about cheating on you? If you do, that’s the worst feeling in the world. Here’s how to figure it out.

lying about cheating and signs of a cheating partner

When it comes down to it, there’s never an easy way to find out that someone’s cheating on you. No matter how many years you’ve been together, it’s a complete nightmare to discover this kind of betrayal. But how do you know if they’re lying about cheating?

You’re in a relationship with someone in the hope that the trust you gave them was all worth it. However, what if it turns out it wasn’t? What if everything wasn’t as perfect as you originally thought?

After discovering your partner is cheating on you, you have a couple of options: pretend nothing is happening, or confront them about it.

Most people will never admit that they’re cheating, not even if their life depends on it. Even if you have all the evidence they need, they can still hide it with an outright lie.

If they say they’re not cheating on you, how can you tell if they’re being honest or just trying to hide the truth?

It’s time to learn how to tell if someone is lying about cheating on you. Otherwise, you’ll never have complete peace if you never find out the truth once and for all. [Read: How do cheaters react when accused? The 8 most common answers you’ll hear from them]

How to tell if someone is lying about cheating on you

Being cheated on isn’t an experience we would wish on anyone. It’s one of the most horrible betrayals you can feel and it’s so powerful, it can leave you traumatized for years to come.

For someone to cheat on you, it involves a lot of unfaithfulness, which is the opposite of what you expect from a relationship.

You never really expect someone to betray your trust by going behind you to be with someone else.

The planning, the scheming, the lies and more lies. It doesn’t matter if it was emotional or physical cheating. Cheating is cheating. [Read: 18 guaranteed ways to catch a cheater red handed in the act]

Now, there are many people who simply never suspect anything, and never find out their partner is cheating on them. This happens. But a majority of people end up discovering the news about their partner.

[Read: 25 sneaky hacks to catch a cheating partner red-handed in the act with the right proof]

There are instances where it’s hard to tell for sure whether they’re lying about cheating or not. In this feature, we’ll be guiding you on exactly how to tell if someone is lying about cheating on you. Use these signs and steps, and you will have your answer very soon.

1. They’re being defensive

One of the obvious signs someone is lying to you about anything is defensiveness. If you find they’re always shooting down your question and acting offended by it, this could be an indicator of cheating. [Read: What is emotional cheating and 15 signs to recognize an emotional affair instantly]

Even if you ask a simple question about their whereabouts, they get angry and say you’re being aggressive or just want to cause drama.

If they’re so good at lying, they may even play the victim and manipulate you into thinking you’re the problem for even asking such a silly question.

Perhaps, they’ll attack your insecurities or your past, or they’ll use anything as leverage to hide that they’re cheating. [Read: Why do people get defensive? 14 reasons and ways to handle them]

2. You have evidence…and a lot of it

You know what they say – the truth isn’t the truth if you don’t prove it first. Even if you haven’t shown them the proof of their betrayal, you have it within your access.

Obviously, all their actions and words can’t hide the fact that they’re cheating if you already have the evidence.

Even if everything hurts, you may still find it amusing how they manage to lie even when you already have evidence of their unfaithfulness. [Read: Confronting a cheater – 15 things you MUST do before, during, and after the talk]

If you already know they’re cheating on you because you’ve seen the evidence, well, you know everything they’re saying is a lie.

3. They’re using a little too much eye contact

They say the eyes are the window to the soul – but it doesn’t mean you should use too much eye contact. When people lie, they overcompensate their lack of honesty through constant eye contact.

It can be a little too weird and creepy at times, especially when you know they’re not really the type to hold eye contact for so long. [Read: Eye contact during sex – the science and 18 intimate ways to feel less awkward]

Too much eye contact isn’t a good thing when it comes to lying. If anything, it just further proves their guilt and betrayal.

You’d notice this instantly, because they’d be making strong eye contact with you, but everything else about their face and behavior would make them want to look away from you.

4. They have a history of lying

A person’s true colors have a way of being revealed one way or another in a relationship.[Read: The most common giveaways when someone is lying to your face]

If they’ve lied to you a few times or several times throughout your relationship, then they could be lying to you right now. If your partner has a serious history of lying to you, then it shows they didn’t have much respect for you to begin with.

In knowing how to tell if someone is lying about cheating on you, notice their pattern of lying.

Do you honesty think they’d be truthful for you about cheating when they have a habit of lying even about the small things? [Read: The subtle signs you’re dating someone who loves to cheat]

5. You can see they’re working hard

If someone isn’t cheating on you or hasn’t admitted to cheating on you, they act differently than someone who’s trying to hide an affair.

They seem different around you – and no, it’s not a change of heart. People don’t change that fast for the better unless they have something to hide.

If you notice they’re more affectionate around you and maybe they help more around the house than usual, they could be hiding the fact that they’re cheating. [Read: Guilty conscience – what it is, and 21 emotional signs of guilt people feel]

Your partner is working a little too hard to convince you and it shows.

6. They tell you to trust them

Ah yes, what a classic phrase to use when you’re guilty. They’d urge you to keep trusting them, which would be okay if they’re not giving you a reason to think otherwise.

Someone who’s lying about cheating on their partner will use phrases like “trust me” or “honestly” as a way to sound more honest. [Read: The 13 most obvious signs of a cheating spouse that are easy to miss]

It’s one of the tactics they use to divert your attention from cheating to something good. Then, if you end up not trusting them, they’re the ones who get upset. Ironic, isn’t it?

7. They bring out the fake smile

It’s fascinating how cheaters will do everything in their capabilities to hide the ugly truth. Everyone loves a fake smile, right? Wrong. If you’ve been with someone for a significant period, you know everything there is to know about them.

This means if they choose to use a fake smile, you know something’s off. If the smile doesn’t hit the eyes, something is wrong. [Read: 15 ways a pathalogical liar hurst and confuses you with their lies]

It’s foolish for them to think that a simple fake smile can hide their lies and betrayal completely.

8. Your gut instinct is telling you something is wrong

No matter what they’re telling you, and how believable it sounds, you still feel something is wrong. If there’s anything you can learn, it’s to always trust your gut instinct. If it’s telling you that something feels wrong, go with that feeling.

If  you’re just not convinced when you confront them, listen to your gut. You’re not crazy or insane for thinking they can’t be trusted – most likely, you’re probably right. [Read: Tried and true methods to recognize and follow your gut instinct]

9. They flip the blame onto you

We’ve mentioned this a bit above, but we’ll dwell on this further. Playing the blame game is so common nowadays, especially when covering up a lie.

In knowing how to tell if someone is lying about cheating on you, notice how they flip the blame and focus from them to you.

Maybe they tell you that it’s because of your insecurities or it’s because of your childhood. They don’t care about crossing the line, as long as they successfully manage to hide their betrayal. [Read: 16 signs and tactics of psychological manipulation real manipulators use all the time]

It’s a classic manipulation move to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. They refuse to take responsibility so they manipulate you instead.

10. They continue their shady behavior

After the conversation, you haven’t really seen any change. They still continue their shady behavior and think their lie has worked on you.

It’s as if they don’t care and they’re so confident in their lying capabilities that they don’t take any kind of action. Simply put, they don’t feel threatened enough that you’ll find out the truth. [Read: Once a cheater, always a cheater? 35 truths and must-knows to help you decide]

11. They touch their face

Researchers have done a lot of studies on liars. There’s one thing that seems to happen with everyone who lies: they touch their face. More specifically, people who lie usually touch or cover their face or mouth.

They don’t unintentionally do this, but it’s part of their subconscious.

Their lies and betrayal seem to reflect in how often they touch their face, especially when they don’t often do this. [Read: The 14 types of liars and ways to confront them without losing your cool]

12. They clearly look uncomfortable

Wouldn’t anyone feel uncomfortable when trying to deceive someone? Not unless you’re that dark and twisty that you don’t care about your actions to others. Now, when it comes to the topic of cheating, there’s no way to look comfortable.

Maybe their hands are shaking, they’re fidgeting or they look unusually pale. Whatever it is, you can tell they’re maybe about to get sick because of the discomfort. [Read: The 10 awkward conversations you need to have with your partner]

13. Pay attention to their body language

A person’s body language can tell you almost anything you need to know about what they refuse to say. It’s like reading between the lines, but with their actions.

In a way, this is similar to the point above. If their body is always slightly leaning away from you or showing discomfort, then they’re probably cheated. It’s as if they can’t wait to get as far away from you or the conversation as possible.

14. Check their social media

There’s no better way in knowing how to tell someone is lying about cheating than by checking their socials. [Read: How to stalk on social media and find just what you’re looking for]

Don’t limit yourself to just checking their Facebook, but this also goes for their Instagram, Twitter, or even Snapchat. This is very useful, especially as certain social media apps can track the location of your partner.

If they told you they’re going out for groceries but they wind up in another location entirely, this could just prove your suspicion.

15. They say they never lie

As much as it’s ideal to never lie, this is an impossible standard. Everyone lies now and then, even if it’s just a white lie. [Read: Tempted to cheat? 15 very real reasons why staying faithful is so hard]

White lies are completely normal, especially if they soften the blow on the painful truth. However, this doesn’t excuse cheating in any way.

If your partner claims they never lie as if to prove how perfect they are, then this is an obvious red flag.

16. Their privacy settings go to the extreme

Everyone has a few skeletons on their phone, like an embarrassing playlist or an abundance of pet selfies. But if your partner has recently transformed into a privacy hawk, it’s not just about guarding their memes.

When their phone suddenly becomes the equivalent of Fort Knox, it’s one of those signs of a cheating partner. [Read: Is my boyfriend cheating? 86 sneaky behaviors and signs a guy just can’t hide]

17. Your schedule’s suddenly their favorite read

Most couples have a general idea of each other’s routines. However, if your partner can now predict your every move and knows exactly when you’ll be out of the house, it’s a tad suspicious.

While it’s great they’re taking an interest, if they’re monitoring your movements more than their favorite sports team, they might be lying about cheating.

18. From hot to cold and back

Everyone has their phases, but if your partner oscillates between being uncharacteristically affectionate and strangely distant, it’s puzzling. [Read: Blowing hot and cold – why they do this, the signs, and how to handle it]

Such erratic shifts in behavior can sometimes be red flags indicating underlying issues or guilt.

19. Their new best friend: “busy”

Remember those leisurely weekends and evening movie binges? If they’ve recently become chronically unavailable without a clear reason, it begs the question of what or who is occupying their time. Suddenly, they have after-work “meetings” every day?

Unless they’ve had a major job shift or are moonlighting as a superhero, this could be a sign that they’re keeping something from you. [Read: How to play a guy at his own game and 40 ways to beat a player in style]

20. A whiff of suspicion

Scents can be more revealing than we give them credit for. If your partner returns home with an unfamiliar fragrance or a peculiar smell, it could be a telling sign.

It might not always point to lying about cheating, but it’s worth keeping your senses alert.

21. A masterclass in guilt-tripping

It’s one thing to reassure a partner when they’re feeling insecure. But if any expression of doubt gets flipped into an indictment of your trust levels, that’s classic deflection.

The aim? Distract you from the actual signs of a cheating partner.

22. Their vanishing acts

We all have our routines, but if your partner starts pulling unexpected disappearing acts and their reasons are flimsier than a house of cards, it’s a cause for concern. [Read: Ghosting – what it is, 63 signs, reasons to ghost, and how it affects both people]

23. One name in constant rotation

It’s nice when your partner makes new friends. But if there’s one name that seems to dominate their stories and experiences, it might be worth digging a bit deeper, especially if it’s coupled with other signs of a cheating partner.

24. Storytelling sessions get intense

A day at the office or a casual outing with friends shouldn’t resemble an epic tale of adventure. If their alibis sound overcooked and rehearsed, they might not just be enhancing their stories; they could be lying about cheating.

25. Friends act like you’re the detective they’re avoiding

A change in the demeanor of mutual friends can sometimes offer clues. If they become uneasy or too guarded around you, they might be aware of something you’re yet to discover. [Read: Bad friendships – 45 signs you have bad friends and need to get new ones ASAP!]

26. Bedroom dynamics do a 180

Physical intimacy often reflects the emotional state of a relationship. If there’s a sudden spike or drop in bedroom activities without any apparent reason, it might be indicative of underlying issues, including the possibility of cheating.

27. You’re MIA on their social media

If your partner’s social media starts to look like a solo travel documentary when it used to feature couple moments, it’s worth pondering why.

28. Distant, even when close

It’s not just about physical presence. If you’re sitting together, yet they seem galaxies away, it could indicate that their mind is preoccupied with something—or someone—else. [Read: Emotionally distant partner – 24 signs, effects, and steps to feel closer again]

29. Every notification is an event

While it’s okay to be private, if they now treat every beep and buzz on their phone as if it’s a national emergency, one has to wonder why.

30. Their relationship history reads like a cautionary tale

History, while not definitive, can sometimes provide insights. If they had a blurry boundary when you two started, it’s essential to be aware and vigilant.

So, how to tell if someone is lying about cheating on you?

When someone is lying to you, pay close attention to their actions and words.

This isn’t just to keep an eye on what they choose to show you, but what they’re not actively saying and doing. There’s no easy way to find out if someone is cheating on you, but it’s necessary to find out the truth.

[Read: My boyfriend cheated on me – 20 things you must do ASAP]

Understanding how to tell if someone is lying about cheating on you is like ripping off a Band-Aid. It’s a betrayal that’s going to hurt, but it’s better to face the truth than to pretend with a lie.

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...