Getting to know a man for the person he really is, is always tricky business.
All girls know that a guy always puts on his best act when he’s on a date with a girl or even if he’s trying to fix a date with a girl.
But is that really who he is, or is it all an act that masks his real self until he’s able to convince you to fall for him?
If you want to get to know a guy better before falling for him, here’s everything you need.
How to get to know a guy better
It’s never easy to really get to know a guy.
The easiest way to get to know him is by having a conversation with him and letting your instincts kick in.
But at times, all of us need a few pointers to get started in the right direction.
Use these tips and you should have all your doubts cleared within the first few dates.
BEFORE MEETING HIM
If he’s asked you out on a date, and you’ve got a bit of time on your hands before Friday night, here are the first two things you could do to get to know him better.
# Find him online
Spend a few minutes and see if he’s got an online presence. Perhaps he has a blog, or an active twitter account. It can reveal a lot about him and the way he thinks. If you know him already, friend him on facebook and glance through his conversations and photos. These moves will tell you everything you need to know without actually meeting a guy.
# Ask common friends
Speak to a few common friends and casually ask about him. Try to be discreet and create a conversation that’ll include something about him instead of asking about him directly. If he hears that you’ve been asking about him, he’ll try his best to portray a squeaky clean image when you meet him.
ON YOUR FIRST DATE
First dates are the best times to test your compatibility and get to know a guy better.
#Ask him the date questions that matter
There are a few first date questions, and then there are those first date questions that can really reveal a lot about a person. Use these date questions that matter and find out if there’s any hope for the prospective relationship.
# What’s your first impression?
This may seem rather shallow, but if you do intend to spend a lot of time in his arms, he has to appear good enough for you. A first impression is a lasting one, and if his attempt of a first impression fails miserably, there may be many more awkward dates in future too. [Read: How to get to know someone on a date]
# Does he know his dating etiquette?
How does he behave on the date? Does he go out of his way to ensure that you have a good time or is he just a diamond in the rough? While some girls may love a guy who needs a bit of work, most girls don’t like dating a guy for the sheer pleasure of creating a better man out of him.
Pay attention to his manners and the way he speaks. Does he use bad language or does he behave rather rudely all of a sudden? And does he have a sense of humor? These are little things that can say a lot about the kind of person he is. [Read: Is he a good date for you?]
# Does he stare at your girlie parts?
Some guys just can’t stop themselves from staring at inappropriate places even on the first date. If a guy visualizes you as a piece of meat and not as a woman who deserves respect, he may not be the right guy for you. A few discreet boob grazes are completely acceptable, and even flattering. But outright stares and drools is something that should not be tolerated. [Read: The real reason behind why men like breasts]
# Is he overly flirty or fake?
Many guys read a lot of things about how to be a great guy and try to create a fake personality just to look good on a date. Is your date one of those guys? If a guy flirts like there’s no tomorrow or seems extremely fake, there’s a good chance he’s not who he’s portraying himself to be.
# Is he trying too hard to please?
A few guys may fall plump in this category. While some men are born smooth talkers and chivalrous modern knights, others just try overly hard to please you on the first date. Sometimes, their eagerness to please you could even turn out to be embarrassing, especially if he really doesn’t know how to behave on a date.
Unless he’s a great guy who knows his chivalry, he could be one of these two things. He may be extremely interested in you. Or you may be one of the few girls showing interest in him.
WHEN YOU KNOW HIM BETTER
Once you’re past the first date and still sticking around, here are a few key signs you need to keep in mind if you want to know how to get to know a guy better.
# How do his friends treat him?
Do his friends treat him with respect or do they make fun of him in a manner that’s so-not-charming? If his friends don’t really respect him, he’s not someone who’s taken seriously. On the other hand, if his friends treat him respectfully or even brag about him, he’s a guy who’s got all the alpha potential.
# Has his interest in you dwindled?
How does this guy behave with you now that both of you are past the first date? Does he treat you the same way he did on the first date, or has his new mean alter-ego kicked in? If a guy changes too quickly, chances are he’s just pretending to be holier than he really is. [Read: Men and why they chase]
# How does he behave with women friends?
Does he have a lot of flirty friends, or do you find him getting touchy feely with a lot of his women friends? While this may seem like a sign of his charm and wit, it can also lead to insecurity if he’s a smooth talker who forgets about his own girlfriend when other women enter the scene. [Read: Does your guy have a flirty woman friend?]
# Does he get offended easily?
If he does get offended easily even if both of you are in public, stay away from him. He may have a lot of issues or he may just be a spoilt child who’s always got what he wanted. But you don’t need guys like that in your life. If he takes offence when you put him down or pull his leg, he’s the kind of boy your mama’s warned you about. He’s not a bad boy. He’s just a spoilt child with a swollen ego.
# Is he dating someone else or does he have a past?
Now this is never easy to know. The guy you like may actually be in another relationship in another state or involved in a long distance relationship, or worse, he may be married or even have kids. Always keep your eyes peeled and watch the signs that matter. After all, it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
[Read: Is he married or dating someone else?]
# Remember his flaws and confront them
Is he a shy guy or does he avoid talking about something? Or is there something that instinctively bothers you about his behavior?
If there’s any flaw or worry that bothers you about him, try to find out about it before you get into a relationship with him. Talk to him or casually bring it up in a conversation when he’s with his friends to hear an unbiased explanation. Try to remove all doubts if you want to get to know a guy. But if you still feel like you don’t know something, it’s safer to back away for a while until he comes clean.
[Read: Is he really into you?]
If you really want to understand how to get to know a guy better, there’s no easier and yet, detailed way to get to know a guy. Use these tips and get to know him, and if you’re ready, take the plunge!
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