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Men and the Fear of Homosexuality

Why do most Men feel Uncomfortable around Gay Men?

Most men have always found it difficult to understand the concept of homosexuality between two men. Some of them hate it, while others wriggle their toes when a gay man stands next to them. Find out why homophobia is such a big issue for most men.

They’re called gay, and they’re happy. But some men call them queers and some others prefer faggots. The latter is spat out viciously. Launched by the lower lip, the spit is intended to land on the person addressed. What is it that brings on the venom at the mere knowledge that someone is gay?

Homosexual behavior is an attempt to fulfill normal, legitimate needs for love, acceptance and identity through sexual intimacy with someone of the same gender. Now if someone wants to live his or her own life this way, why would another person have a problem with this?

There are men and some women who shake and shrug at the mere mention of the fact that someone in the room is gay. They shoot daggers and stare like those people were the scum of the earth. Some may even in casual conversation poke fun. “Oh, we’re not talking to you,” the big ‘all-male’ guy would say. “You wouldn’t know what to do with the blondes in our jokes. We’ll get back to you when we’re doing faggots,” he’d add.

Homophobia and Men

Now what is it that calls for such rudeness? It’s homophobia and there’s an actual fear behind this hatred. The dictionary defines homophobia as the unreasoning fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals. It can also mean hatred, hostility or disapproval of LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) people, or of perceived LGBT lifestyles, sexual behavior or cultures, and is generally used to assert bigotry. “It’s a perversion, being gay is not natural, it’s against God, it’s sick, how can one be like this?” These are the bigoted barbs that draw blood.

Two men together, how gross!

While statistics have it that well over 64 percent of men are capable of bisexual behavior, over 30 percent have actually tried it. A majority of the homophobes that hate gay men will come from this segment. The very thought of another man touching them sends shivers through their bodies and this is soon replaced with anger. Now while most of this comes from social conditioning, many genuinely from their gut cannot accept the brush of a moustache against their lips when they close their eyes to kiss. The rough and somehow thicker male tongue will suddenly fill their mouths and they’ll want to puke. Making out with another man for them is always dirty. Something the best cleansers and disinfectants cannot wash away.

Two women are great though!

Now the very same people who are so vociferous against two men hitting the hay will not flinch at the thought of two women making out. All their theories about homosexuality being against the order of nature will be blown away and they’ll settle themselves down to watch the action. They may even secretly visualize themselves participating in it. But what these men must know is that if the women are indeed lesbian, the last thing those women would want is a man with them.

Click here to continue reading: Why do most Men feel Uncomfortable around Gay Men?

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  • Pingback: Why do most Men feel Uncomfortable around Gay Men? | Lovepanky | Your Guide to Better Love, Sex and Relationships()

  • Some people think being gay is an illness we get when we are born …and could be treated with testosterone injections when we realise the illness..!! They really believe, it is not normal to be gay!! but society accepts it now…. I think this is really stupid, being gay is just a personal choice, nothing else

  • Brain

    @Busco: And you know this by person choice right? Well then, since it’s just a choice, why don’t allgay people choose to be heterosexual, & all heteros choose to be homo? If you think it’s a choice, you’re already bi or gay & just don’t want to fully admit it.

  • Jessi

    Men who feel like this when ever a gay man stands next to them are insecure and have homosexual tendecies.If one knows their sexuality theres no need to be afraid,UNLESS….Now take a transgender m to f person and a “STRAIGHT MACHO ALPHA MALE GUY”LOL leave these two alone and the majority of times the straight guy makes the first move.

  • Kristy

    @Busco Being gay is not a choice, it’s scientifically proven to be not a choice. I wouldn’t call it an illness either, since it does not make the person sick. It’s a genetic predisposition. If you actually TALK to an openly gay person, and asked them just when they decided to be gay, they’ll tell you they never decided to be gay. Actually in most cases gay people try to be hetero just to feel “normal.”

  • Haden

    Agreed on that one @Kristy take me for example… I grew up thinking I was male. I didn’t even understand why my mom forces me to play with dolls when I want to play with cars and basketball. Thing is it’s just natural for me to like women, and be sexually intimate and emotionally committed to her.
    I kind of understand why men are scared of gay men, but it’s just paranoia, if they’re not doing anything then don’t mind them at all.

  • Sebastian

    Grew up with lesbian sister in a very gay friendly part of the world (Cape Town). For me even as a straight guy I’ve always found it pretty normal to associate, live with and become friends with gay men and women. Once you let go of your religious/personal feelings of unease you quickly see that they are just *people*, not freaks. Many have a great deal to offer and admire and are fun to hang out with.

    Seriously guys, they don’t bite!!

  • Hruntar

    Saying two men is gross is cultural conditioning that drives some men to say such a hateful thing in order to state heterosexuality so that their sexual orientation is not udner question given the inner anxiety they feel.

    Nature made homosexuality to share the same spaces with heterosexuality thus, most sane people are not to feel any kind of digust or aggressive impulses towards it.In this sense, we can see that homopobia doesn’t belong in a sane, mature and educated society because it causes trouble. Homophobia is a deviation that needs to be condemned and discouraged.

    In fact, homophobia is by-product of the Abrahamic religions when most culture throughtoutthe whole world had no apprehensions against homosexuality. The world would be different if christianity and islam hadn’t promoted homophobia.