When a relationship ends, there is a lot to consider. Changes are inevitable when your partner becomes your ex. Your entire routine is shaken up, and it might leave you questioning, should I block my ex or not?
You may not see them anymore, but opening up Instagram or Facebook and seeing them out and about can trigger a lot of emotions. Not just that, but having an ex text or reach out to you can limit your chances of meaningfully moving on.
Blocking an ex can seem excessive. Whether you were hoping to keep things cordial or even wanted to be friends eventually, blocking someone can seem cruel. But, things aren’t always as they seem.
If you’re wondering, should I block my ex, you may have a good reason for doing so.
[Read: Should I talk to my ex? The revealing questions you should consider]
The fact that you clicked on this article and made it this far tells me you’re thinking about blocking your ex. And you’re not thinking that out of the blue. If you’re considering blocking your ex, you probably have a reason. So, why are you thinking about it?
Do you simply want to distance yourself from them? Is it hard to see them on social media? Do you want to cut all ties? Maybe they continue to reach out to you or post cryptic things about your breakup. Or maybe you’re afraid you’ll reach out to them if you have access.
[Read: The 10 stages of a breakup and how to get through every single one of them]
All of these reasons are valid. But do you want to block your ex because you can’t face them? Did you hurt them and can’t give them closure? Do you still need to stay in touch because you share finances, children, or a group of friends?
All of these things are involved in communicating with your ex. So, before hitting that button, think about your reasoning behind wanting to cut them off. Do you want to cut them off to live a healthier lifestyle? Will blocking your ex be good for you, or is it something you are doing out of spite or anger?
[Read: Like ghosting and blocking? Prepare yourself for these 10 consequences]
Personally, I’ve never blocked an ex. Why? It wasn’t because I didn’t think about it. Also, it wasn’t because it wouldn’t be good for me. It was because blocking isn’t permanent.
If I needed to block my ex to stop myself from looking at their profile or stop myself from responding to their texts, I knew that wouldn’t stop me. Just because you block someone, it doesn’t mean you can’t undo that.
It is the same as deleting an ex’s number. Sure it may make it harder to reach out. but chances are, you memorized that number or have another way of getting in touch. If you block your ex but have a moment of weakness when you want to look at the profile, you can unblock them and do so.
What I find more helpful is unfriending them or hiding their posts. It is not immature or juvenile to unfriend an ex on social media.
[Read: Signs your ex is pretending to be over you]
In fact, it is the smart thing to do. It will help you move on without them being at the forefront of your mind. If you want to stay friends online but need time to avoid seeing them while you get over the breakup, hiding their posts is a great way to do that without being active about it.
This helps prevent random posts from showing up but doesn’t feel as intense as blocking. Plus, it won’t send them the wrong message. If you block your ex, they may go looking for your profile, and when they don’t see it, they’ll know you blocked them.
If that is your concern, hiding their posts is a great way to avoid them without making a statement.
[Read: How to set boundaries in your life and take control]
But there is another reason to block your ex; if they keep reaching out to you. When you’ve gone through a breakup for any reason, you deserve to move forward.
Whether your ex wants to be friends, get back together, or just keep tabs on you, you have every right to block them.
Breakups that you want to last only last when you are apart. When exes try to help each other through a breakup before actually facing time apart, they end up getting back together and having the same issues they’ve always had.
So, if you can’t decide whether or not to block your ex, here are some signs that can help you make up your mind. [Read: 15 reasons why your ex still texts you and tries to stay in touch]
If you want to move on and your ex keeps sending you memes, checking in, or just liking your photos, block them for your mental health. You can always undo it later if you want, but until they get the message, go ahead.
Sometimes your ex needs closure, or so they say. They may text you to push for a final conversation about how you left things. Honestly, if you know it is done and over with, this isn’t necessary.
It may seem rude to deny their request, but if you know it will only suck you back into something bad for you, let them know it is over, and going over the details won’t help anyone. Then you can block your ex. [Read: Why you shouldn’t seek closure after a breakup]
If you keep thinking about them talking about them, and don’t seem to be making any progress you may need to clean break of blocking your ex. Once you block their number, social media, and anything else you are forcing yourself to let go.
It is okay to miss your ex. We all do. You wouldn’t have been together if things weren’t good sometimes. But, if you miss them enough that you are thinking about racing out or dreaming about getting back together, block them.
Cut off all communication. Even seeing what posts they liked can start up your feelings. [Read: Do you miss your ex and think about them a lot?]
If it upsets you to see them out and having fun or posting anything then go ahead and block them. It is easy to sit with your sadness and look at their posts and reread your messages. You get to wallow. But, after a few days of that, life must go on.
Stop upsetting yourself and block your ex.
If things ended in the heat of the moment you may feel the need to talk. Maybe you want to really understand what happened or how they see things. You may wonder if they’re mad at you or if you’ll ever speak again. None of these things really matter though.
It is easy to focus on these small things rather than facing the fact that it is over. So, if you feel like you need answers, block them. The answers won’t help.
Sometimes your partner is struggling. whether they are being sketchy with their social posts about being sad or just reaching out and saying hi, they aren’t letting go.
You may need to force their hand and block your ex. [Read: How to help your ex get over you for good]
If you are still mad, it can be easy to hate-follow them. You send screenshots of their posts to your friends and say mean things. But, that isn’t as cathartic as you think. The best thing you can do when you’re angry is let it out in a positive way.
Hate-following only allows negativity into your life.
If you are jealous of how fast they are moving on, talking to them and seeing that will not help. you may think knowing the latest is good, but it is not.
Moving on is the easiest when you aren’t following along with their life. [Read: Are you jealous of your ex?]
Sometimes we want to stay in touch with our exes to show off. You want to post killer selfies or show off how happy and totally fine you are. Not only is that petty, but it is unnecessary. You are putting forward a falsehood and making them feel bad for no reason.
Plus, knowing that you are faking it is only going to make you feel worse. You’re broken up, the games are over. Block them so you don’t fall into this trap.
If you find yourself looking to see if they have any new friends on social media or looking through the background of their photos for the person you thought they used to flirt with, you will drive yourself crazy.
Block them and free your mind of that prison.
Sometimes an ex is an ex because you don’t get along. sure you had great chemistry but if you don’t have trust or truly care for them why bother staying in touch? If you don’t like them for anything other than sex, why not block your ex? [Read: The good and the bad of being friends with your ex]
You want to get along because you have mutual friends or work together or just don’t want something big and ugly behind you. That is all fine and well. You may think you are so mature for handling a breakup like this. The thing is, this cannot happen until you’ve had time apart.
If you are struggling to get to that getting along without feelings stage block them for a while and unblock them when you feel ready.
If they cheated any bit of them will bring you down. Whether they text you, like your photos, or anything else, every thought of them will cause those feelings of betrayal and foolishness to reemerge.
Block your ex and cut out that negative energy now. [Read: 12 ways to deal with being cheated on]
IF you keep breaking up and getting back together you need to stop that cycle. Something that tends to get you back together is probably hearing about each other, sending each other a meme, or just looking at their profile. Stop it.
This is not good for you or them. It is unhealthy. Block them and really put the effort into moving on for good.
If you cheated you may feel bad about blocking them. You don’t want to hurt them even more or make them question things. But, if they can see what you’re up to it will be even harder for them to move on. The less communication you have the better. [Read: Can you forgive yourself for cheating?]
You may want to block your ex for any to all of these reasons, but you feel guilty. You don’t want to hurt them. But as harsh as this sounds, their pain is no longer your concern. You care about them on some level, of course. But as a single person, you need to put your mental health first.
If your ex is reaching out to see how you’re doing, to be comforted because they’re struggling, they want to get back together, or anything else, and you don’t feel that it is good for your mental health, go ahead and block them.
You don’t need my permission, theirs, or anyone else’s to block someone that isn’t good for you from your life. [Read: Does my ex miss me? 15 signs they’re clearly not over you yet]
Again, don’t just do this out of the blue because you don’t want to face a breakup, but if it comes to the point where things have been made clear, and they aren’t respecting your wishes, blocking your ex is a good decision.
Don’t let anyone tell you that blocking your ex is immature. A mature breakup doesn’t mean you have to stay friends or even keep in touch. A mature breakup is one that lets you heal on your terms.
Think of blocking your ex as deleting your public photos together. If looking at those photos makes you feel bad, delete them or archive them. Whether you feel sad or angry, miss them, or disgusted, you don’t have to see them.
It is all up to you. I’ve had breakups where things ended, and I felt fine about it. I kept photos live because they didn’t trigger any feelings in me. I looked at them as a moment in my life that happened and led me to today. But I also didn’t block or unfriend them at first. [Read: How to behave during a breakup and leave with your head held high]
Even months after a breakup, when an ex started posting things that bothered me for any reason, I decided to unfriend them. There is enough negativity online and in the world without adding to it by hearing from our ex directly or indirectly.
If talking to your ex, hearing from them, or just seeing their status update is upsetting to you for any reason, go ahead and block them. And remember, blocking someone isn’t as big of a deal as you might think. Even if you want to try to be friends down the line or at least be on decent terms, you can unblock them if you feel ready to.
[Read: Is the psychology of blocking someone about your ego?]
So, next time you ask, should I block my ex, I say, why not? It’s not permanent. Just do what’s good for you, to heal and to move on to a better place.
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