“Should I block my ex” is a question many of us have asked ourselves at some point but is it necessary? Well, it depends…
When a relationship ends, there is a lot to consider. Changes are inevitable when your partner becomes your ex. Your entire routine is shaken up, and let’s not even get into how painful breakups are. When the breakup is fresh, the heartbreak might leave you questioning, “should I block my ex or not?”
You may not see them anymore, but opening up Instagram or Facebook and seeing them out and about can trigger a lot of emotions. Not just that, but having an ex reach out to you can limit your chances of meaningfully moving on.
Blocking an ex can seem excessive. Whether you were hoping to keep things cordial or even wanted to be friends eventually, blocking someone can seem cruel. But sometimes, being cruel is for the best.
If you’re asking yourself, “should I block my ex,” you may have a good reason for doing so.
[Read: Should I talk to my ex? The revealing questions you should consider]
Why are you thinking about blocking your ex?
The fact that you clicked on this feature and made it this far tells us you’re thinking about blocking your ex. And you’re not thinking that out of the blue. If you’re considering blocking your ex, you probably have a reason. So, why are you thinking about it?
Do you simply want to distance yourself from them? Is it hard to see them on social media? Do you want to cut all ties? Maybe they continue to reach out to you or post cryptic things about your breakup. Or maybe you’re afraid you’ll reach out to them if you have access.
[Read: The stages of a breakup and how to get through every single one of them]
All of these reasons are valid. But do you want to block your ex because you can’t face them? Did you hurt them and can’t give them closure? Do you still need to stay in touch because you share finances, children, or a group of friends?
All of these things are involved in communicating with your ex. So, before hitting that button, think about your reasoning behind wanting to cut them off. Do you want to cut them off to live a healthier lifestyle? Will blocking your ex be good for you, or is it something you are doing out of spite or anger?
[Read: Like ghosting and blocking? Prepare yourself for these consequences]
Will blocking an ex help you?
You know, if you don’t want to block your ex, you don’t have to. That seems to be the narrative whenever you go through a breakup: “block them, delete them, and burn their belongings!”
But that hateful “f*ck my ex” attitude isn’t for everyone. If you’re considering blocking your ex, you have to consider if it will actually help you to move on. Because, in some instances, blocking isn’t enough.
To some people, blocking just isn’t permanent enough. If you need to block your ex to stop yourself from looking at their profile or stop yourself from responding to their texts, it won’t actually stop you. You can easily unblock them or even create a burner account to look at their profile.
It is the same as deleting an ex’s number. Sure it may make it harder to reach out. But, chances are, you memorized that number or have another way of getting in touch. If you block your ex but have a moment of weakness when you want to look at the profile, you can unblock them and do so.
So you need to be honest with yourself. Do you want to block them because you know you’ll obsess over them if you don’t? If so, it might not be the right move for you.
What you might find more helpful is unfriending them or hiding their posts. It is not immature or juvenile to unfriend an ex on social media.
[Read: Signs your ex is pretending to be over you]
In fact, it is the smart thing to do. It will help you move on without them being at the forefront of your mind. If you want to stay friends online but need time to avoid seeing them while you get over the breakup, hiding their posts is a great way to do that without being active about it.
This helps prevent random posts from showing up but doesn’t feel as intense as blocking. Plus, it won’t send them the wrong message. If you block your ex, they may go looking for your profile, and when they don’t see it, they’ll know you blocked them.
If that is your concern, hiding their posts is a great way to avoid them without making a statement.
[Read: How to set boundaries in your life and take control]
Should I block my ex?
But there is another reason to block your ex; if they keep reaching out to you. When you’ve gone through a breakup for any reason, you deserve to move forward.
Whether your ex wants to be friends, get back together, or just keep tabs on you, you have every right to block them.
Breakups that you want to last only last when you are apart. When exes try to help each other through a breakup before actually facing time apart, they end up getting back together and having the same issues they’ve always had.
So, if you can’t decide whether or not to block your ex, here are some signs that can help you make up your mind. [Read: 15 reasons why your ex still texts you and tries to stay in touch]
1. Do they keep reaching out?
If you want to move on and your ex keeps sending you memes, checking in, or just liking your photos, block them for your mental health. You can always undo it later if you want, but until they get the message, go ahead.
2. Are they pushing for a conversation?
Sometimes your ex needs closure, or so they say. They may text you to push for a final conversation about how you left things. Honestly, if you know it is done and over with, this isn’t necessary.
It may seem rude to deny their request, but if you know it will only suck you back into something bad for you, let them know it is over, and going over the details won’t help anyone. Then you can block your ex. [Read: Why you shouldn’t seek closure after a breakup]
3. Are you struggling to move on?
If you keep thinking about them, talking about them, and don’t seem to be moving on, you may need to clean break of blocking your ex. Once you block their number, social media, and anything else, you are forcing yourself to let go.
4. Do you miss them?
It is okay to miss your ex. We all do. You wouldn’t have been together if things weren’t good sometimes. But, if you miss them enough that you are thinking about racing out or dreaming about getting back together, block them.
Cut off all communication. Even seeing what posts they liked can start up your feelings. [Read: Do you miss your ex and think about them a lot?]
5. Is seeing their posts upsetting you?
If it upsets you to see them out and having fun or posting anything, then go ahead and block them. It is easy to sit with your sadness and look at their posts and reread their messages. You get to wallow. But, after a few days of that, life must go on.
Stop upsetting yourself and block your ex.
6. Are things unresolved?
If things ended in the heat of the moment, you may feel the need to talk. Maybe you want to really understand what happened or how they see things. You may wonder if they’re mad at you or if you’ll ever speak again. None of these things really matter, though.
It is easy to focus on these small things rather than facing the fact that it is over. So, if you feel like you need answers, block them. The answers won’t help.
7. Does it seem like they’re struggling to let go?
Maybe it’s not you who’s struggling to move on, maybe it’s your ex. Whether they are being sketchy with their social posts about being sad or just reaching out and saying hi, they aren’t letting go.
You may need to force their hand and block them. [Read: How to help your ex get over you for good]
8. Are you angry?
If you are still mad, it can be easy to hate-follow them. You send screenshots of their posts to your friends and say mean things. But this isn’t as cathartic as you think. The best thing you can do when you’re angry is to let it out in a positive way.
Hate-following only allows negativity into your life.
9. Are you jealous?
If you are jealous of how fast they are moving on, talking to them and seeing that will not help. You may think knowing the latest is good, but it is not.
Moving on is the easiest when you aren’t following along with their life. [Read: Are you jealous of your ex?]
10. Do you try to make them jealous?
Sometimes we want to stay in touch with our exes to show off. You want to post killer selfies or show off how happy and totally fine you are. Not only is that petty, but it is unnecessary. You are putting forward a falsehood and making them feel bad for no reason.
Plus, knowing that you are faking it is only going to make you feel worse. You’re broken up, the games are over. Block them, so you don’t fall into this trap.
11. Do you want to find out if they’re seeing someone?
If you find yourself looking to see if they have any new friends on social media or looking through the background of their photos for the person you thought they used to flirt with, you will drive yourself crazy.
Block them and free your mind of that prison.
12. Do you like them as a friend?
Sometimes an ex is an ex because you don’t get along. Sure, you had great chemistry, but if you don’t have trust or truly care for them, why bother staying in touch?
If you don’t like them for anything other than sex, why not block your ex? [Read: The good and the bad of being friends with your ex]
13. Do you want to be cordial?
You want to get along because you have mutual friends or work together or just don’t want something big and ugly behind you. That is all fine and well. You may think you are so mature for handling a breakup like this. The thing is, this cannot happen until you’ve had time apart.
If you are struggling to get to that getting-along-without-feelings stage, block them for a while and unblock them when you feel ready.
14. Did they cheat?
If they cheated on you, any bit of them will bring you down. Whether they text you, like your photos, or anything else, every thought of them will cause those feelings of betrayal and foolishness to reemerge.
Block your ex and cut out that negative energy now. [Read: Ways to deal with being cheated on]
15. Are you in an on-and-off cycle?
If you keep breaking up and getting back together, you need to stop that cycle. Something that tends to get you back together is probably hearing about each other, sending each other a meme, or just looking at their profile. Stop it.
This is not good for you or them. It is unhealthy. Block them and really put the effort into moving on for good.
16. Did you cheat?
If you cheated, you may feel bad about blocking them. You don’t want to hurt them even more or make them question things. But if they can see what you’re up to, it will be even harder for them to move on. The less communication you have, the better. [Read: Can you forgive yourself for cheating?]
17. Do you feel guilty?
You may want to block your ex for any to all of these reasons, but you feel guilty. You don’t want to hurt them. But as harsh as this sounds, their pain is no longer your concern. You care about them on some level, of course. But as a single person, you need to put your mental health first.
If your ex is reaching out to see how you’re doing, to be comforted because they’re struggling, they want to get back together, or anything else, and you don’t feel that it is good for your mental health, go ahead and block them.
You don’t need our permission, theirs, or anyone else’s, to block someone that isn’t good for you from your life. [Read: Does my ex miss me? 15 signs they’re clearly not over you yet]
Again, don’t just do this out of the blue because you don’t want to face a breakup, but if it comes to the point where things have been made clear, and they aren’t respecting your wishes, blocking your ex is a good decision.
Don’t let anyone tell you that blocking your ex is immature. A mature breakup doesn’t mean you have to stay friends or even keep in touch. A mature breakup is one that lets you heal on your terms.
Block your ex
Think of blocking your ex as deleting your public photos together. If looking at those photos makes you feel bad, delete them or archive them. Whether you feel sad or angry, miss them, or disgusted, you don’t have to see them.
It is all up to you. You could very easily be going through a breakup now and feel totally fine about it. If looking at photos of the two of you does nothing but remind you of a then-happy moment in your life, by all means, keep them.
And if seeing your ex active on social media doesn’t trigger any feelings, and you’re genuinely curious about what they’re up to, don’t block them. [Read: How to behave during a breakup and leave with your head held high]
There is no timeline for blocking your ex. You could even wait for months after a breakup. If your ex starts posting things that bother you for any reason, unfriend them. There is enough negativity online and in the world without adding to it by hearing from our ex directly or indirectly.
If talking to your ex, hearing from them, or just seeing their status update is upsetting to you for any reason, go ahead and block them.
Remember, blocking someone isn’t as big of a deal as you might think. Even if you want to try to be friends down the line or at least be on decent terms, you can unblock them if you feel ready to.
[Read: Is the psychology of blocking someone about your ego?]
So, next time you ask yourself, “should I block my ex,” I say, “why not?” It’s not permanent. Just do what’s good for you, to heal and to move on to a better place.
