Firstly, most people are going to tell you to drop the thought. But every circumstance is different. And at times, you dating your friend’s girlfriend may end up turning out to be the best thing for everyone involved. But that’s not always the case.
Here’s the easy way to figure it out by yourself.
For starters, how well do you know this friend, is he a real good buddy or someone you just know in passing? If he’s a very good friend, stop right there. You don’t steal a girl from a best buddy, however bad things get. In a worst case scenario, you date a friend’s girlfriend only months after they’ve broken up. But that doesn’t always end well either.
But if you don’t know this guy very well or he’s not a great friend, then you could still give this a thought.
Can you fancy her and yet find someone else?
She may be hot, and all you probably want to do is hold her hands or take a sneak peek at her cleavage. You may think it is true love, but it’s almost always an infatuation. You can always move on if you choose to, remember that. [Read: Sneaky ways to stare at a girl’s cleavage]
Try to date one of her friends or someone else you find attractive. It’s easier, safer and won’t shatter any hearts. [Read: Stages of love for men]
Is she happy with your friend?
You may secretly think your friend is a loser and the luckiest son of a gun for getting a girl who’s so good in every way. And you may also think she’s unhappy in the relationship.
But is she really unhappy in the relationship? Did she tell you that herself? If she did, she probably likes you too. Why the heck would a girl tell her boyfriend’s friend that she’s unhappy for any other reason? In such cases, you may feel like the knight in shining armor who’s doing your friend’s girlfriend a favor by rescuing the damsel in distress from a bad relationship. But you’re really not.
You’re only creating more confusions and complications by flirting with her and leading her on. And don’t forget this, you’re digging your own grave by warming up to a good friend’s girlfriend.
Are you having a great time with her?
Is your friend’s girlfriend spending a lot of time with you, or going out of her way to talk to you? Do both of you have wonderful conversations laced with romance and seduction now and then? It may all feel really happy and sappy, but you have to remember that both of you are intentionally walking into something that could only create more problems. Do you really have to sweet talk her and try to make her feel like you’re a better guy? Are you really being a good friend here?
Does she like you too?
Most guys get confused here. Just because she speaks nicely and touches you while talking or complimenting you doesn’t mean she likes you too. She may just be trying to get friendly. Unless she tells you she likes you or tries to kiss you or hold your hand when it’s just the both of you, don’t let your thoughts wander into a complicated romance. Be sure of her feelings before you fall for her. [Read: Dealing with a complicated relationship]
The code of friends
If you try to steal a girlfriend behind your friend’s back, you’re breaking the bro code. Friends don’t date a friend’s girlfriend. You may be shunned by all your other friends for complicating things. Are you ready to give up all your friends for a girl who isn’t yours in the first place?
Can you forget her?
Sometimes, you may be faced with a life changing circumstance. You may know deep inside that your friend’s girlfriend is the one you want. And she may like you a lot too.
Can you live with yourself for not going out with her? You may end up hating your friend anyways for dating the girl you secretly like and your friendship may start falling apart in a few months.
Forget her if your friend matters to you
Younger people have a huge misconception about friendship. They think friendships are made for life. And it’s almost always false. You’ll only learn this later when you don’t have time for old friends anymore. Friends come and go all the time. A few friends may stay in your life forever, but most friends end up becoming once-a-month drinking buddies or once-in-six-months reunion party friends.
If your friend matters to you, harden your heart and forget about his girlfriend. If you couldn’t care less about losing your friend, and all that matters is his girlfriend, throw your friend in the dirt and date the girl!
How to date a friend’s girlfriend
Once you’re certain that you don’t care about your friend, and want his girlfriend more than anything else, start making your move if you know she likes you too. Preferably, try to steal a friend’s girlfriend only if he’s not a good friend and if he isn’t treating her the way a girlfriend should be treated. [Read: How to make a girl like you without asking her out]
But while you’re wooing her and impressing her, occasionally tell your other friends about how badly your friend is treating his girlfriend and how she constantly calls you while crying over the phone and talks about how she’s unhappy with her boyfriend (as long as it’s close to the truth). By letting all your friends knows the real truth, you can actually end up looking like the savior and a hero in due course.
Don’t propose to her when she’s still in the relationship. If she likes you too, get her to break up with your friend first. And once you’re past that, invite her along the next time you meet your other friends. Let your friends believe that you’re just trying to make her feel better after a bad breakup with your friend who’s been a really bad boyfriend.
The bitchy complication
You may genuinely like your friend’s girlfriend. But you can’t jump into any conclusion about her feelings unless you hear it from her. Does she really like you? Don’t be too confident about that thought until she breaks up with her boyfriend.
A few girls just like the attention. She may be dating your friend, but after noticing that you’ve been drooling over her for a while, she may try to mess with your feelings just to get your attention. Wouldn’t you like it if your girlfriend’s best friend has a crush on you? It’s the same thing. Always wait for her to end the relationship. At least then you’ll know she seriously does like you. [Read: Why are women fickle in love?]
What should you do?
The last word, if you like your friend’s girlfriend enough to lose a friend, go full speed ahead. But never ask her out until you’re sure she likes you.
If you value your friend more than a fickle girl who can’t make up her mind on who she likes, then steel your heart and avoid her.