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How to Stop Obsessing Over a Girl: Calm Down and Think Straight

You laid eyes on her, and now want to know how to stop obsessing over a girl. She’s all you think about. So, how can you get your sanity back?

how to stop obsessing over a girl

We’ve all been in this situation. You meet someone, and then your whole world just flips. All you can think about is them. Is it exhausting? For sure, I mean, you’re spending all your energy and time on them.

I mean, if you want to keep obsessing about them, that’s cool. But let me tell you, all the guys I obsessed over… none of them ended up being with me. I feel like obsession is only appreciated when it’s mutual, speaking from experience here.

So, if your obsession is lasting for more than a couple weeks or months, you’re going to have to use some tools for how to stop obsessing over a girl. You have a life to live man, and this obviously isn’t getting you anywhere.

How to stop obsessing over a girl

Women, I tell ya. We are pretty irresistible, aren’t we? Well, at least the one you are obsessing over is. But you probably feel like you are a prisoner in your own mind because you can’t get her out of your head. Don’t worry. Here’s how to stop obsessing over a girl. [Read: How to get over a crush and have fun doing it]

#1 Become selfish. Listen, when you’re obsessed with a girl, your life is focused on her. Everything you do is because of her, and you stop living your own life. So, to remove her from your head, you need to become selfish.

This isn’t a bad thing, it’s important to be selfish. If you’re not selfish and focused on self-care, then you end up in the position you’re in now. I know it’s going to be hard in the beginning, but once you start focusing on you, you won’t feel the need to live for her.

#2 Tell her how you feel. I don’t know where the obsession came from, maybe she’s been your good friend, or maybe she has never actually spoken to you.

But, the point is, you need to let her know how you feel, and that way you can get immediate feedback. Don’t do it over text or the phone, do it in person. You need to be able to see her face and reaction – this is important. [Read: How to tell a girl you like her and not come across creepy]

#3 Don’t be around her. Okay, so you didn’t get the response you wanted. It happens, trust me, don’t even get me started. Now, if you want to know how to stop obsessing over a girl, you need to clean the slate. First thing to do is to remove her from your life.

Don’t hang out her, don’t show up at her the place where she drinks coffee, don’t do it. You don’t need that. Now, if you can’t cut it, at least limit your interactions with her. You don’t have to be a dick, but don’t be overly friendly.

#4 Stay away from social media. This is a big one. Just don’t torture yourself by staring at her new selfie. You need to protect yourself and move on, so the best thing you can do is unfollow her on all social media, at least until you’ve moved on.

But if you find yourself creeping on all her social media platforms a couple times a day, it’s best you just remove yourself from everything for a while. This is crucial if you want to know how to stop obsessing over a girl. [Read: How to get over someone you love – 14 steps to get you there]

#5 Don’t text her. I know you want to still keep a connection with her, but it’s pointless. She doesn’t want to be with you, so why are you still bothering her? If you two were friends, then this is different. But I still think you should take a break from talking – at least for a couple weeks. Though you may not realize it, you’re basically going to be dealing with a withdrawal.

#6 Clean up. This is highly effective for just relieving stress and unburdening your mind. Clean up your room, do your laundry, shave your beard – clear the clutter. If you want a clean mind, you need to make your space looking like your mental state. Have you ever seen someone’s place after they go through a breakup? Yeah, it’s a mess.

#7 Look at why you like them. Why do you actually like her? Is it because she’s hot? Has a big ass? Has a warm personality? What is it about her that makes you fall to your knees?

If you want to move on, you need to see the qualities in her that you like. That way, you’ll be able to find them in someone who actually wants to be with you. [Read: 15 signs she’s just leading you on and taking you nowhere]

#8 Hope dies last. Oh, do I know this one. Hope is literally the last thing to die, but listen, you cannot be hopeful. Don’t think, “oh what if she changes her mind,” she won’t – at least not now.

But that’s not the point. You need to continue living your life and then if she comes around, great, if not, great. The point is, if you remain hopeful, you won’t be able to fully move on.

#9 Start talking to other women. Just jump right in and talk to as many women as you want. You need to get over this obsession, and the best way to do it is to see the positive qualities she had in other women. Just go out and socialize, talk to women, go on dates, and get back to living your life. [Read: How to make a girl miss you – 16 sweet ways to win her back]

#10 Talk to your friends. Guys don’t usually talk to their friends about this stuff, but you really should talk to one of your good friends about this.

They may have experienced something similar, so they’ll be able to help you get over her. You’ll need friends during this time, and they’ll know how to distract you. [Read: How to let got of someone you love by hating them]

#11 Do something that keeps you focused. Start doing things that you’ve always wanted to do but never had time to. Now that you’re not spending all your time focused on her, you’ll be able to focus on yourself.

Take a class, go to a basketball game, play video games – whatever makes you happy. Treat this as a breakup. You’re cutting the relationship that you had with her in your head.

[Read: How to forget about a girl – 15 ways to forget she even exists]

Now that you know how to stop obsessing over a girl, try to work out it. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s much better than being controlled by the thought of her.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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