Now, you’re probably in a relationship and unsure of how social media plays a part in this. You know, it’s a good thing that you’re here. Let’s not add unnecessary trust issues and drama into your relationship. Instead, as long as you know things you should and things you shouldn’t do on Instagram when you have a girlfriend, you’ll make smarter and better choices that benefit your relationship.
But don’t think you’re the only one who should be doing this in the relationship. Your girlfriend should also know the boundaries as well. It takes two to tango!
[Read: Relationship rules – 30 must-know tips to live your best love life]
As a guy, you might not understand why there have to be so many rules when you are in a relationship. You probably just wish that you could do anything you want and not get in trouble with your girlfriend.
But, obviously, that’s not the case. There are many unspoken rules in romantic relationships even outside of social media. For example, you shouldn’t cheat on your partner, you should communicate with them, and you should be loyal. And those are just a few.
So, it’s not like you’re not used to having relationship rules. But when we introduce Instagram and social media into the mix, it can get a bit overwhelming with what you can and can’t do. [Read: Social media and relationships – the good, the bad, and the ugly]
You see, this is just an extension of the normal rules we follow everyday… just extended to the technological part of our lives.
17 things you shouldn’t do on Instagram when you have a girlfriend
When most people enter a relationship, social media can become a challenge for them. Can you like these photos? Can you make comments on your female friend’s pictures?
You might think it’s okay, but will it look bad or hurt your partner? These are the questions you need to be asking yourself and your partner.
Relationships can be a challenge, but now with social media a part of our lives, it can be even more difficult. Sometimes, the lines can blur and make you wonder if what you’re doing is okay or not.
Naturally, a good rule to follow is that if you can’t talk openly about it with your partner, it’s probably not a good thing to do on Instagram. But even then, that’s not 100%. Because when your relationship status changes, so do the rules of things you shouldn’t do on Instagram when you have a girlfriend.
[Read: The happy couple’s guide to social media etiquette]
Let’s take a look at the most important rules and things you shouldn’t do on Instagram. But remember, these rules aren’t restrictions, they’re empathetic gestures you probably haven’t given a thought to.
The best way to know for sure if any rule is a good one is by asking yourself how YOU would feel if your girlfriend broke any of them on Instagram. If it would hurt you or annoy you, it’s only natural that she would feel upset if you did the same, don’t you think? [Read: Intentionally hurting someone you love – Why we do it and how to stop]
1. Don’t follow your ex
Your current girlfriend may say she’s cool with it, but she’s not. Deep, deep inside of her, she’s not happy about that. And if you’ve truly moved on from your ex, you don’t really need to follow them on your Instagram.
So, following your ex on Instagram just gives your current girlfriend the message that you still think about her. And it appears as if you have one foot in your relationship and one foot out the door. You can understand why it would make her feel that way, right?
Now, if you’ve already been following your ex prior to the relationship, that probably will be okay. But to follow them while you’re in a relationship, that’s a complete no-no. [Read: How to make your girlfriend feel incredibly happy and like the luckiest girl ever]
2. Don’t like provocative photos
Let’s face it – Instagram is full of provocative photos of girls in bikinis and twerking at grocery stores. That’s just what a lot of girls do on social media. They like the attention from guys, so that’s why they do it.
Believe it or not, you can look at a photo, but then just keep scrolling on by. There is no need to like the photo. You still get to look at it, pinch in and zoom in to it, and stare at it for five minutes whether you like the post or not!
So, no one is telling you not to look, but if you want to stay in the safe zone, don’t start liking a bunch of photos of other women. You don’t need to “like” the photo to appreciate it. [Read: My boyfriend likes other girls’ pictures on Instagram – What bothers girls about this]
3. Don’t DM other women
You can DM your friends but if you want to DM other women you aren’t personally acquainted with, whether it’s replying to their Insta story or to a photo, don’t do it. Seriously, if you can’t refrain from messaging other women then it’s clear you’re not ready to be in a relationship.
If you feel the urge to DM another girl who isn’t your girlfriend, you have to stop and ask yourself why you are doing it. Do you intend to cheat? Do you want to impress her? What’s your reason behind saying hi to some other random hottie?
Is it really necessary? It probably isn’t, especially if you don’t really know the person in real life.
We’re not saying it’s cheating, but you’re definitely playing with fire and you know it. [Read: How you can flirt on Instagram and why it can ruin your relationship]
4. Don’t be upset about your girlfriend’s photos
This might be one of the most difficult things you shouldn’t do on Instagram when you have a girlfriend. There are many men who can’t stand their girlfriends taking sexy photos and posting them on Instagram. And you can probably understand why guys feel uncomfortable about it. They want to keep her all for themselves and not have anyone else look at her. [Read: The Instagram boyfriend – Why guys hate him and all girls love him!]
But listen, unless she’s literally showing off her lady bits, show trust and confidence in your partner. Now, if she’s really provocative, and you’re feeling highly uncomfortable, talk to her about it. Staying in silence will only make it worse.
Regardless, it’s her Instagram account, not yours. You don’t get to control what she posts and what she doesn’t. But if her photos bother you that much, you might want to re-think whether or not she’s a good match for you. [Read: 20 signs of a slutty girlfriend and the hot and bad of dating a girl like her]
5. Don’t hide your relationship
There are some people that never post pictures with their partners on Instagram. Why wouldn’t they? Why are you hiding?
That’s exactly what goes through your girlfriend’s mind when you are hiding her on Instagram. She thinks there has to be a reason. And let’s face it – she’s right, isn’t she?
If you don’t want other women to know you’re in a relationship, then break up with your girl and be single. If you don’t want to be single, then post photos of you with your girl. Don’t play that game. [Read: Secret relationship – why would someone want to keep things on low key?]
That is unless it’s with your girlfriend. But don’t be flirting with other girls in the comments. What are you, twelve?
The whole purpose of flirting with someone is to let them know you like them, and possibly to get into a relationship with them. But you’re already in a relationship with someone else.
This isn’t going to end well with you if you flirt in the comments section, and if anything, shows how immature and disrespectful you are. If you want to flirt with other people, then break up with your girlfriend. [Read: What women think when their guy is flirty with other women]
7. Don’t post after a fight
When you’ve had a fight with your girl, you may want to show her how much you “don’t give a fuck.” But why play this game? You do care, you care so much that you want to post “I don’t need you bitch” stories on your Instagram.
Don’t use Instagram as a way to emotionally hurt your partner. First of all, it’ll work, but it will also make you look like a complete asshole – to her and everyone else who sees your stories.
The mature thing to do is to talk to your girlfriend about your problems, not vent about them to strangers on social media. This only makes you look dumb if you do. This is definitely something you should do on Instagram when you have a girlfriend.
8. Talk about it
Listen, you’re not always going to like what your partner posts on Instagram. If you find yourself in a position where what they posted offends you, then you need to talk to them about it.
It doesn’t mean they’re going to take it off, nor should you expect them to, but you should make them aware of how you feel. In fact, talking to them about everything is a sign of a healthy relationship. [Read: How to talk about your feelings in a relationship and grow closer]
9. Don’t get mad about old photos
Another thing you shouldn’t do on Instagram if you have a girlfriend is to get mad about her old photos. If your partner has a photo with their ex that they posted three years ago, you cannot be mad at them about that.
They probably don’t even remember the photo, but you’re letting your ego do the talking instead of your brain. Pause a moment and think about it before you start a useless fight. [Read: Is your lover’s past rousing your jealousy?]
We all have a past, and that includes your girlfriend. So, is it right to expect her to totally erase her past? No, it’s not. And if nothing else, it’s a lot of effort to go through and delete all those photos. And who has the time to do that?
10. Don’t force your partner to posts photos
Of course, if you’ve been dating for a decent amount of time and they never posted one photo of you, you have the right to ask why. But, what you should never do is force your partner to post photos of you and her together.
She will post a photo of you together in her own time. With that being said, if it’s been a year and you haven’t seen a single photo, ask her what’s up.
But keep in mind not everyone posts photos and other things about their lives on social media. Some people are just rather private. So, that could be her. It might have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the fact that she doesn’t want to broadcast her life to the whole world. [Read: How to show off your girlfriend on social media in a way that she’ll love]
11. Don’t insult your partner’s Instagram in public
You may not like their Instagram photos, but at the end of the day, they’re dating you. Don’t try to belittle your partner by insulting them and their photos in public. If you have a problem, talk to them about it, but don’t make them feel bad in front of other people by commenting some childish nonsense because you’re annoyed by a new post.
In fact, it’s never, ever okay to insult your partner in any way. That is immature and just downright toxic. And it’s bad enough if you do it in private. But if you do it in public, that’s even worse.
This is one of the most important things you shouldn’t do on Instagram when you have a girlfriend. [Read: 15 cell phone rules every couple needs to follow to stay happy]
It’s easy to get caught in taking photos of and with each other, but you shouldn’t let that become your relationship. There are more parts to a relationship than how many people like your photo. Don’t live on your phone.
There is a world out there waiting for you to live it! There is no need to document every detail of your life on social media because then you miss the real experience of living it. [Read: Couple goals – 27 fake and real things you should want in a relationship]
13. Don’t become paranoid
Social media can be great, but on the other hand, you also know what people do on social media. But this doesn’t mean your partner is off flirting with every guy that tries to DM her. Trust your partner. Now, if you don’t trust your partner, well, this is something else.
So, don’t ask her a million questions about her social media. This will sound like an interrogation, and that’s probably because it is. She won’t take that very well, so just don’t do it on Instagram when you have a girlfriend. [Read: Instagram envy – How to keep things real when you’re feeling jealous]
Yes, social media can be used to spread the word and connect you with products and people, but you shouldn’t be taking it so seriously. It’s social media. She has a real life and you’re in it.
Unfortunately, a lot of people put too much emotional emphasis on social media. They base their self-esteem on how many followers and likes they get. But this is just unhealthy. Live in the real world, not a virtual one.
If you come across a new post of hers where she’s showing herself off on a hike or doing something fun, never forget that this is social media, not real life. That could even be an old picture she’s posted because she’s bored at home! *roll your eyes, but don’t fester over it!* [Read: Social media addiction – 16 alarming early signs and how to break out of it]
15. Don’t follow sleazy accounts
You’re not dumb, and neither is your girlfriend. At some point, you’ve scrolled through all the people she’s following and you’ve snooped into a few accounts as well. Well, guess what? So has she.
If you have a girlfriend, one of the first things you need to do is unfollow all the pervy accounts that post slutty pictures and videos of scantily-clad women. This isn’t a good look for you, and big chances are, all your friends *and your girlfriend’s friends* may have seen these accounts you’re following as well.
Almost all girls think a guy is creepy if he follows way too many accounts of semi-topless girls. So unless you want to be judged for your taste *or lack of it*, stare at those posts on your explore page and leave it at that.
16. Create a fake account
Instagram probably knows you need more than one account, and they’ve graciously given you the option to have multiple accounts, so use them!
Create a finsta account and follow all the girls you want and save all the posts you like. Your friends and your girlfriend’s friends won’t think you’re creepy anymore. But do remember that there is pretty good chance your girlfriend may find your other accounts eventually when she’s scrolling through your main account.
And then, you need to prepare yourself for a dose of guilt even if your girlfriend doesn’t say anything out loud. Really, wouldn’t you be upset if you found something like that on your girlfriend’s Insta account?
[Read: Is it normal if a guy with a girlfriend follows sexy Instagram models?]
17. If it feels wrong, it’s wrong
There are always some things that can’t be directly answered as wrong and right. If it feels wrong when you’re doing it, whether it is wrong or not, it’s wrong for you.
You need to follow your gut. If you think your partner won’t appreciate you doing something on Instagram, then she probably won’t like it. Your actions play a role in your relationship.
If you are ever in doubt, use this test. Ask yourself, “if she did this on Instagram, would it upset me?” If the answer is “yes,” then you shouldn’t do it.
Live by the Golden Rule – “do unto others as you would have done unto you.”
[Read: Your girlfriend followed back a hot guy on Instagram – Should you panic or stay calm?]
Remember, you’re now in a relationship with someone you love, and you don’t want to hurt her. So make sure you remember these things you shouldn’t do on Instagram when you have a girlfriend. Not just for her sake, but for your relationship as well.
