31 Red Flags in a Man Who’s Fake-Nice & Will Only Break Your Heart

Men can fool girls pretty easily at the beginning of dating. So, that’s why you need to know the red flags in a guy so you can avoid the wrong ones.

Red Flags in a Guy

It’s easy to get swept up at the moment, especially if he’s a smooth talker, and that’s when you forget about the little voice in your head. But, no matter how well the date is going, keep your eyes open for the red flags in men.

After the date, if you spot them, go home and think about the red flags you saw.

But how could they affect your life? If it’s just an annoying act or trait he has, well, we all have them. But if he’s showing he has serious issues, think twice whether you want to go on a second date with him.

[Read: First date red flags that speak a lot more than what your date says]

31 red flags in men to make you think twice

The dating world is a wild one. Everyone has had their own experience when it comes to dating and meeting new people.

Most of us meet nice people who are genuine and kind, but then there’s always that one person who comes and ruins dating for you.

[Read: How to remain hopeful while dating and not let heartaches stop you]

Maybe they lied to you or gave you the impression they wanted more—either way, it left you a little heartbroken. We get it! We’ve all been there *well, most of us—some were lucky!*.

If you’re new to the dating world or re-entering it after some time, it’s important for you to know the red flags in a guy. That’s a flag you don’t want in your life!

1. He’s never been single

Of course, some people have been in year-long relationships and then become single. But then there are also people who chronically jump from one relationship to the next.

This isn’t cute. It’s not a trait you want in a partner. If he’s never been single, you should wonder if he’s ever gone through the necessary growing pains. [Read: These are the types of men you shouldn’t date if you’re looking to find true love]

2. He expects a lot from you

But they don’t expect much from themselves. It’s common for women to find themselves in relationships where they’re the only ones investing in it, while their partner takes the backseat.

If he’s not willing to invest in the relationship right away equally, he’ll never do it.

3. His exes are all crazy

Weirdly enough, not one of his exes seems to be level-headed and rational people. When he talks about his exes, they’re all crazy and take advantage of him.

He’s making himself look like a walking angel, and if the blame is all on them, then you know that’s one of the big red flags in a guy right there! [Read: 27 things immature men do and why you should definitely avoid them]

4. He doesn’t apologize

Run! Run far away! Many people have dated someone like like, and it’s a nightmare. Everything is your fault, and they will never apologize for their behavior.

In other words, you will never be equal to them. Sorry is hard to say, but if he can apologize, it means he’s able to be vulnerable and take responsibility.

5. He’s not nice to other people

When you’re out for dinner, they’re rude to the staff for no real reason. And though this may seem like not a big deal, it is.

If they’re rude to people they don’t even know, then how can you expect them to treat you with kindness and respect? [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend you need to leave ASAP]

6. He’s never lived out of his parent’s house

Now, this doesn’t mean he’s a mama’s boy who’s looking for a girlfriend who’s going to be his second mother.

But if you’re someone who’s independent, you want a partner who’s on your level. You don’t want someone you need to carry through life.

7. No is not an option

At least not for him. Of course, no one likes to hear the word no, but at some point, you accept the answer and move on. But for him, he doesn’t take no lightly.

In fact, he’ll keep pushing your boundaries until that no becomes a yes. Not cool. This doesn’t show respect. [Read: The signs of a toxic boyfriend that should make you move away fast] 

8. He loves to complain

The guy is a chronic complainer. Nothing is ever good enough for him, and though you may think this is a sign of “high standards,” it’s also a red flag in a guy.

This isn’t about high standards; this is about him whining about his life not being fair. It’s his life! He’s the only one who can improve it!

9. You have different sexual preferences

We don’t want to say sex is the most important part of the relationship, but it’s up there. If you start to see you aren’t sexually compatible at some point along the line, don’t stick around.

If he likes having sex three times a day, and you like having sex once a month, this isn’t going to work.

10. Everything has a motive

There are some people who are kind and compassionate out of the goodness of their hearts. They want to be kind and compassionate.

And then there are people who act kind and compassionate but do so out of an ulterior motive. You don’t want that in a partner. [Read: 21 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend most girls don’t notice]

11. He pulls you from friends and family

A man should never pull you away from your friends and family. If he’s trying to stop you from hanging out with the people you love and trust, this is a huge warning sign that there will be more to come, and it won’t be pretty.

12. He doesn’t listen to you

When you talk to him, he’s on his phone or rolling his eyes, and we all know that’s a red flag in a guy and reeks of disrespect!

These are serious signs of disrespect, and it’s not going to get any better down the road. [Read: 17 signs of disrespect from a guy that shows his lack of genuine love]

13. He makes cruel jokes

Ewww. Listen, playfully teasing each other here and there is fine, but if he’s making cruel and hurtful jokes towards you, red flag. He’s trying to break you down, and eventually, these jokes will become abusive.

14. He talks about sex too soon

Whether you’re just friends, just met on a dating app, or newly dating, if he’s asking you about sex, then that’s not good.

That says he only has one thing on his mind – to get laid. He is trying to use you for that – and only that. [Read: 25 signs he just wants sex and reasons why he’s using you for it]

15. He doesn’t have a job

Unless the guy is 15 years old and doesn’t have a way to get to a job, then this is a deal-breaker. Any guy who doesn’t have a job doesn’t want to have one.

It’s not that hard to find somewhere to work. So, if he doesn’t have a job, don’t expect him to find or keep one any time soon *if ever*.

16. He’s never been in a relationship

We know we said that “if he’s never been single” is one of the red flags in a guy, but so is the opposite. If he’s never had a serious, long-term relationship, then that is a problem as well.

It shows that he either has commitment issues, doesn’t want to commit, or that women don’t want to commit to him. Regardless, that’s not good.

17. He plays video games 24/7

A lot of guys like video games – everyone knows that. It’s not the video games that are the problem, it’s his playing habits.

If he never comes up for air and is obsessed, then he has an addiction. He will never pay any attention to you because you are not a video game. [Read: How to wean a boyfriend addicted to video games and help him change]

18. He’s lazy

Everyone likes to relax on the weekends and have a movie marathon once in a while.

But if he’s the type to lay around the house all weekend, doesn’t shower, and doesn’t help anyone with housework then that is selfish and way too lazy. You don’t want to be his mother.

19. He’s cheap

If he doesn’t try to pay for you on the first few dates, then he is not a gentleman. Chivalry is still alive, and he should want to be the man and pay for you – at least in the beginning.

But if you see signs that he’s cheaper than cheap, then stay away from him. You will become his own personal bank if you don’t.

20. He has a bad temper

Do you know what bad tempers can lead to? Abuse of all kinds.

Whether it is emotional, verbal, mental, or physical abuse, none of them should be tolerated and they are all huge red flags in a guy. You deserve to be spoken to and treated with respect at all times.

21. He has children that he doesn’t see or support

Regardless of how old he is, if he has a baby mama*s* and at least one or more kids that he doesn’t see – and doesn’t pay child support for – that is a sign of a horrible man.

It means he doesn’t care at all about his own children. So, how do you expect him to care about you if he doesn’t for his own flesh and blood? [Read: What to look for in a guy – 40 things that make a man worth dating]

22. He’s cheated before

It could be that he cheated on one or more of his exes, or that he cheated on you. It doesn’t matter. Cheating is cheating and is a big red flag in a guy. It is dishonest and disrespectful.

As they say, once a cheater always a cheater. Don’t ever tolerate that behavior.

23. He’s controlling

If he comes home and complains that the house isn’t cleaned perfectly or you didn’t do the laundry to his liking, then he is controlling. He should not be telling you how to behave or how to live your life. That is toxic.

24. He doesn’t care about your needs

If all he cares about is himself and his own needs, you should forget about him. He should put your needs at least equal to – if not before – your own.

So, if what you want isn’t even registering on his radar, it never, ever will. [Read: Selfish people – 20 ways to spot and stop them from hurting you]

25. He doesn’t want to have sex

There is this myth that men want to have sex all the time. Well, that’s simply not true of all men. So, if you’re a sexual person but he never wants to have sex, then this is not a good match. You can’t change him, so it will be like that forever.

26. He “changed”

All people are on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship. So, of course, you fell for him at first.

But, if after a while it seems like he “changed,” then he didn’t change at all. It’s just that he couldn’t keep up his “good boy” act any longer and he became his true self.

27. He lovebombs you

A lot of guys shower girls with unending compliments in the early stages of talking and a relationship. They make you feel like a queen. While that feels good, it’s usually not genuine. [Read: What is love bombing and 21 signs to stop the manipulation early on]

28. He’s flaky and unreliable

Let’s say he asks you out on a date, and just as you are about to walk out the door to go meet him, he calls and says he’s “too tired” to go out *at the last minute*.

So, if he’s always changing plans, and can’t be relied on, that is one of the red flags in a guy that clearly shows his lack of integrity and dependability.

29. His words and actions don’t match

Anyone can say anything they want. It makes them a “good talker.” But, if he can’t follow through with what he says, then he’s not a quality man.

If he asks you on a date, he better do it. Or, he says he will take your car in to get it fixed, he better do it. If he doesn’t, then you should dump him. His words and actions should match at all times.

30. He expects you to sext early on

It doesn’t matter if you’re in the talking phase or the dating phase, if he’s asking to sext with you too soon, then that’s just creepy. He might also be sending you unsolicited d*ck pics, which is gross.

Don’t tolerate that. He only wants to have sex with you and not get to know you as a person. [Read: Online sexting – 10 biggest sexting rules you should never ignore]

31. He mooches off of you

If he stays at your place all the time, eats your food, allows you to pay for stuff *and never offers to pay himself,* then he is a moocher. It’s even worse if you see it doing to other people like his friends, family, or even his parents. He should be his own man and pay his own way through life.

[Read: Manchild alert! 23 signs you’re dating an immature prick]

You don’t want to get your heart broken by someone who’s a walking red flag. The next time you’re on a date, look for these red flags in a guy. And if you notice them, walk away!

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. And while you’re at it, check out MIRL, a cool new social networking app that connects experts and seekers!

Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...