Why Isn’t He Asking Me Out Yet? – 17 Reasons Why!

why isn't he asking you out?

He does everything that proves he likes you, but he isn’t asking you out yet? Here are 17 most common reasons why a guy may be holding himself back.

Is he giving all the right signs, but not really doing anything about it?

Does he flirt with you, stare at you, but hold back from asking you out or telling you that he likes you?

As frustrating as the circumstance could seem like, it’s a lot more common than you think!

Girls may assume that just batting their eyelids at a guy or smiling at him is enough of a sign for him to approach them.

But to a guy, there are a million ways to interpret your display of invitation.

[Read: How to know if a guy likes you when he won’t even talk to you!]

Why isn’t he asking you out yet?

There are two ways of dealing with a crush in a guy’s mind, when it comes to making a move on the girl he likes. One, he makes a bold move and tells a girl he likes her instantly or within a few days of liking her.

Or the other way, he waits patiently and works his courage up to make sure he asks the girl out at the right moment, when he assumes she won’t decline him.

So is this guy who’s flirting with you just biding his time while waiting for the right moment, or does he have something else in mind?

17 reasons why a guy may hold himself back from asking you out

Every scenario is different. But surprisingly, almost always, if a guy behaves like he likes you and hits on you, but stops himself from asking you out, the reasons are just a few.

And these 17 reasons can sum up all the reasons behind why he’s withholding his display of love and stopping himself from telling you that he likes you.

#1 He’s intimidated by you. So you think you’re a warm and friendly person? Well, think again! Does he look at you or try to catch your eye often? Has he ever tried to talk to you by walking up to you? Perhaps, you see yourself as warm and friendly, but he thinks you’ll swat him away for even trying to talk to you! [Read: 13 charming ways to appear approachable to guys]

Try to be more approachable and friendly. And when you have the odd chance of coincidence, give him enough opportunities to strike a conversation with you. [Read: 15 accidental conversation starters you can use on a guy you like]

#2 He’s taken. Yes, he could be dating someone else, or worse, married already! Then why on earth is he staring at you? Well, in all probability, he likes the attention he’s getting back from you. Or perhaps, he’s looking for a fling thing, but just biding his time for the right opportunity to seduce you! [Read: A guy with a girlfriend likes you… now what?!]

#3 You’re too hot! If a guy flirts with you, sticks around you and displays every sign that he’s crazy about you, and yet, he holds back from asking you out, he may just think you’re too good for him.

If a guy thinks you’re a goddess who would never even be interested in dating a mere mortal like him, he may just choose to hang out with you and subtly flirt with you, instead of asking you out on a real date. [Read: 30 subtle, obvious and sexy flirting tips to use on a guy who likes you]

#4 You mean too much to him. Are the both of you good friends? Sometimes, however unlikely as this may seem, a guy may choose to stay friends with a girl he really likes instead of asking her out because he doesn’t want to ruin the perfect platonic relationship both of you share. Simply put, he doesn’t want to lose you as a friend in his pursuit of trying to date you.

#5 You’re taken. A guy may like you, but he may hold himself back from asking you out because he may have reasons to believe you like someone else or that you’re already seeing someone else. Your friends could have spread that rumor or he may have assumed it for some reason.

Now if you do like him, you need to make it clear to him *subtly* that you’re not interested in dating anyone but him. [Read: 9 subtle and fun ways to get a guy to ask you out]

#6 He’s a shy baby! They do make them this way even in these non-conservative times. A guy may show every sign of liking you from afar, and yet not make any move to approach you or talk to you. So what do you do? If you like him, well, drop a few signs and give him the reassurance he needs to man up and ask you out. [Read: How to get a shy guy to fall madly in love and ask you out]

#7 He finds you too easy. Guys say they’re put off by a girl who plays hard to get, but at the same time, if you come across as very easy, that’ll give a guy more reasons to walk all over you.

If you’re wondering why he hasn’t asked you out, ask yourself if you’re giving into him too easily. At times, a guy may not make the effort to pursue you because he knows you’re very into him already. [Read: How to attract and keep a guy interested in a way he’d find irresistible]

#8 The happy flirter. He flirts with you and teases you, but he has no intention of taking it forward. Perhaps, he likes you but doesn’t want to date you. Or maybe you aren’t the kind of girl he’s looking for. So until he finds the right girl, he may just choose to flirt with you and use you as the backup girl. [Read: The 12 dating stereotypes of women in a man’s mind]

#9 He’s dating you in his mind. In his head, he thinks the both of you are together already. He’s not considered the idea of naming the relationship, nor has he realized that you need words of love or reassurance to feel better about the nameless relationship both of you share.

If you’re in this dilemma, you just need to get him to say the words out loud. [Read: Different ways to tell a special someone that you love them without using the three words]

#10 He wants a fling with you. He may be a player who just wants a fling thing with you. You’ve asked him out already or you’ve hinted to him that you like him, but he deflects it and changes the conversation. But surprisingly, he’s still touchy flirty all the time. If a guy likes feeling you up and teasing you, but avoids all talk of commitment, he’s probably looking at you as a one night stand potential.

#11 You ask him out! This may seem rather silly, but there could be the possibility that this guy you like is just waiting for you to ask him out. If you really love a guy, dropping a few hints that you like him may just make the world conspire in your favor.  [Read: How to ask a guy out like a classy and suave girl]

#12 He’s playing hard to get. He knows you like him a lot because you’ve made it pretty obvious to him time and again. And now, he’s waiting it out to see just how hard you’d try to win him over. Or maybe he just wants to keep the relationship casual until he can make up his mind because he knows you’ll come running into his arms whenever he wants you to.

#13 He’s waiting for the right moment. He’s a softie or a romantic, and as much as he loves you and is crazy about you, he’s just waiting for the right moment to ask you out. But what’s this right moment, you ask? Well, who knows?! To make it easier, just make sure you give him several opportunities and alone time so he can work his courage up and ask you out. [Read: 18 clear signs to decode his body language around you]

#14 You’re a flirt. If there’s one kind of girl most guys prefer to stay away from, it’s the serial flirter who makes every guy feel like a potential suitor! If a guy you like thinks you’re a serial flirt, he may just end up leaving you for someone else because he can’t ever be sure about your sincerity towards him or your feelings for him.

#15 The wrong relationship. He may be cautious to ask you out because others that matter to him may frown upon the relationship. A few great examples that could fall into this are office relationships, a best friend’s ex lover, a relative, etc.

#16 Commitment issues. He’s never really been in a serious relationship with any girl, and he just doesn’t see himself getting tied down by a girl anytime soon. He may like you a lot, but his fear of commitment may be forcing him to bottle his feelings for you. [Read: 10 sure signs he’s got the fear of commitment]

#17 He needs time. He could be a really good guy, but you may have come across him at the wrong time. He’s still healing from a past relationship that went sour, or he’s going through some serious issues in life that’s stopping him from committing to you or expressing his love for you because he doesn’t believe he’s ready to get into a new relationship just yet.

[Read: 25 sweet compliments for guys they’ll never forget!]

So are you wondering why the guy you like isn’t asking you out yet? Well, in all probability, these 17 signs will definitely give you the answer!

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Gerry Sanders
Gerry Sanders
Gerry Sanders is a writer, and a self-proclaimed ladies man, who spends most of his time trying to learn everything about everything....
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7 thoughts on “Why Isn’t He Asking Me Out Yet? – 17 Reasons Why!”

  1. Mickey says:

    Or maybe he KNOWS you’ll shoot him down just for the fun of it.

  2. Jennifer says:

    I want to meet a British man that’s single and romantic

  3. Steve says:

    We work together. Dating is forbidden (supervisor/subordinate) and we both like our jobs

  4. Erica says:

    there is this guy who will constantly hold my hand and treat me like I’m his girl. I want him to ask me out but I’m not sure of he will or not.

  5. Luna1991 says:

    Hello! This is the first time I’ve ever commented, but I read a ton of articles like this. I’m actually in a situation with a guy I really care for….

    Here’s the situation…I’m 25 years old and I’ve only been in ONE relationship in high school, that lasted 6 months and ended very badly. So I really don’t have any real dating experience. Two weeks ago, I started chatting with this guy online and we hit it off really well. He asked for my number and he called me over the phone, which is really uncommon in this day and age. We’ve only met twice; he came to my apartment on a bet i made with him. The second time he came over, a lot of “stuff” happened, but no sex. He is aware that I am a virgin and is respectful and willing to wait till I’m ready.

    We have deep conversations, he isn’t afraid to tell me that he likes me, he calls and texts me everyday, he’s smart, funny, sweet, respectful. He tells me that I’m beautiful and that he’s never had a connection like this in a long time. Only problem is that he won’t ask me out on a proper date….I understand it’s still been only 2 weeks and we’re still getting to know each other, but he’s already given me the name “Baby-girl” and “baby”. I have discussed this with him and asked him if he wanted this to become something more in the future, and he says, “…I don’t know…” I told him that if he wasn’t sure of what he wanted then it would be best for us to be friends for now, but he started crying over the phone when I told him that. I think his reasoning is more of “Number 17” form the article. He told me that he had a lot going on in his life right now and that he was doing his best to give me his full attention, focus on me, and he knew that I deserved a real relationship, but didn’t want to lose me to someone else. I was upfront and honest with him and told him that I was fine with taking time to get to know him, but if he wanted the “girlfriend benefits” he would have to make things official with me….

    Since that conversation, nothing has really changed, he still calls/texts me everyday, calls me baby/baby-girl, but I think he understands that in order for me to give him “girlfriend benefits” he had to make things official

  6. SHYgirl says:

    Hi there. This is the first time I’ve commented but I find myself in this situation with a guy i really like and care a lot about.

    So, here’s the situation…I’m 30 and never been in a relationship like ever (as hard as it is to believe), I have trust issues and that may be one of the reasons…I’m really not sure either. So I think it’s safe to say I don’t have any experience when it comes to dating really because how would I know?

    So anyways, there’s this guy that i really like, I’ve had my fair share of ‘crushes’ but they all disappeared as soon as they came. Anyways, I’ve ‘known’ this guy for around three years now and he always seemed somewhat curious about me. Thing is I’ve always been really shy and ‘socially awkward’, especially around guys so I’ve always been a bit distant to him at all times NO MATTER HOW HARD HE TRIED TO GET CLOSE TO ME. It wasn’t on purpose, I just didn’t know how to react or how to answer him when he asked questions. i even found myself at one point putting in my headsets while he was sitting with me and trying to make a conversation ( I didn’t mean to, I just happened to be like that I don’t know why).

    So anyways, He never really gave up, he would always come up to me and try to make conversation when he got the chance – until he eventually gave up and just pretended I was not there. It was painful because in all honesty I liked talking to him, though he was the one doing the talking, I liked and still like his company.

    So now, three years later, he’s back to ‘talking’ to me, and now seems more forward than before. At least now I can talk here & there but I’m still finding it difficult to make decent conversation with him. whenever he got the chance he would come up to me & talk to me, teasing here & there and he always finds an excuse to touch me on my face, hands and sort of hold me. I like his touch, but all this signs he’s been displaying are confusing me. He will smile so tenderly at me whenever he sees me and I can’t help but smile back at him. The other day he gave me his hand to come with hime somewhere but I refused to take it, it caught me off guard and I didn’t know what to do. I hesitated then refused at last. since then he seems distant, he tries to avoid me most of the times…I really like him but now I don’t know how to get through to him.

  7. Bae_0987 says:

    #18 You live in Nigeria and your parents will kill both of you.

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