Is She Flirting with Me or Not? 17 Quickest Signs to Read Her Mind

Be honest, have you been pondering “is she flirting with me?” If you’re wondering then it’s totally possible she is. Learn the signs, just to be sure!

is she flirting with me

The problem with flirting is that it can be surprisingly subtle. If you’ve ever wondered, ‘is she flirting with me,’ you understand what we mean! It’s designed that way for a reason. It’s a way to find out if someone likes you back.

Seriously, you’re not going to go all out and tell them or really show them, are you? Consider flirting to be like an insurance policy.

Flirting is a way of putting your hand half in the “do they/don’t they” mix, without actually going all in. So, if it crashes and burns, you can shrug your shoulders and say you were just being friendly. Clever, right?

But, by being half in and half out, you’re actually not giving the person you’re flirting with a clear signal. They might be confused about whether you’re flirting or being friendly. As a result, you might not make a move in fear of being wrong about the whole thing.

Seriously, why can’t we just be honest and say what we think and feel?!

[Read: How to know if someone likes you back – Don’t miss these subtle signs]

Knowing the difference between flirting and friendliness

It could just be that this girl is very friendly and you’re reading too much into it. That’s exactly why the whole ‘is she flirting with me’ question arises. There is a very thin line between the two and some girls are just flirty by nature. It doesn’t mean they literally want to jump your bones – they’re just being themselves!

If you want to know the main difference between someone who is just quite friendly and a person who is flirting with you, look for the edge. Read their body language and you’ll see what we mean.

When someone is flirting, you can usually tell because there’s an edge to their actions. It goes just that little bit beyond the normal realms of friendliness. Perhaps they’ll wink at you or drop you a smile that says just enough to get you thinking. [Read: 12 ways to tell if she’s flirting or just being friendly]

Of course, you have to pick up on a few signs to piece the puzzle together. If you only notice one or two, that’s when it’s likely to be a case of friendliness and zero flirting.

It’s not easy to figure it out sometimes, but the signs below should answer the question of ‘is she flirting with me’, once and for all.

Let’s learn the truth – Is she flirting with me or just being nice?

Women flirt far more subtly than men do, generally speaking. With a guy, you can normally tell that he’s attempting to get onto your good side, but a woman? She half expects you to guess what she’s trying to tell you.

Many women do expect you to be a mind reader, but that’s impossible! [Read: 15 signs she’s flirting with you at work – Should you flirt back?]

So, answering whether she is flirting with you or not can be hard. The good news is that there are a few clues that point to whether you have a flirty kitten in your midst or a girl who’s just friendly.

If you’re not sure if you’re dealing with flirtation or friendliness, look out for the following signs. However, don’t jump in feet first if you notice just one sign. Stop and figure out if there are five or more signs. Then you can be pretty sure that, yes, she’s flirting with you! [Read: How girls flirt – 15 signs she’s clearly being more than just nice]

1. She looks at you, smiles, and looks away

Basically, this is an invitation to talk to her. It’s a classic flirty move. She’s silently trying to invite you to approach her!

It’s the single most obvious ‘is she flirting with me’ sign that points to ‘yes.’ If she’s not flirting with you, then it means she’s flirting with someone standing behind you! [Read: Signs of unspoken attraction that will reveal if someone is into you]

2. She makes excuses to be around you

If she’s around you more often than she normally would be, or she’s there when there’s no actual reason for her to be there, it’s because she’s choosing to be.

Yes, this could mean she thinks you’re a great conversationalist and likes spending time with you in a platonic way. But if you notice a few more of the flirting signs too, it’s a pretty firm nod towards the ‘yes’ camp. [Read: 15 signs to know if you should start flirting back with a work colleague]

3. She touches you casually

Does she casually nudge you or touch your arm? Women don’t do this unless they want to touch the person in front of them. She wants to touch you because she likes you!

A good example is when she laughs at something you’ve said *it probably wasn’t even that funny* and nudges you playfully. She might even look intently at you when you’re talking, showing her interest, and touch your arm gently in an almost absent-minded way.

4. She draws your attention towards her lips

She’s majorly flirting if she does this! Wondering, is she flirting with me? Yes, she is!

It’s an even bigger yes if you notice that she is looking at you, smiling, then looking away. Lips are sensual. If she is biting her lip or licking her lips and looking at you, this shows that she’s probably not thinking completely pure thoughts! [Read: The scientific explanation behind why lip biting is so sexy]

5. She mirrors your body language

We all do this if we like someone. It’s a subconscious thing that we do without even realizing it. If you notice that she is mirroring your body language, e.g. if you’re leaning casually against the wall and she starts to do it too, it shows that she’s comfortable with you. But it’s also a sign that she likes you. [Read: 15 body language cues a girl gives away if she really likes you]

6. She laughs at your jokes, funny or not

Sorry, but nobody is going to laugh at your jokes if they’re not funny. If she’s laughing a louder laugh than the joke deserves, she’s definitely flirting. She’s also likely to accompany this with a playful nudge or a touch on the arm.

7. She tries to find out your relationship status

She might playfully question whether or not you have a partner. She might not come right out and ask you, but she might say something like “oh, your girlfriend must like that” and then look at you waiting for a response.

She’s basically waiting for you to say “I don’t have a girlfriend.” You might notice the intensity of her flirting goes up a notch! [Read: Is she actually hiding her feelings for you?]

8. She plays with her hair

If she’s playfully messing with her hair while talking to you, she’s nervous and also flirting with you. It’s a subconscious thing women do when they’re a little nervous, or perhaps trying to say “look at my hair, it’s so shiny.” Who knows, but it’s a surefire flirtation sign.

You’ll be wondering, is she flirting with me, before you come to the real conclusion. You might think that she is and then she might go cold or back off a little, making you wonder whether you got it all wrong.

Again, this is normal. It’s probably something you’re going to experience at some point. [Read: How to tell if she’s an attention seeker who just wants you to fall for her]

9. You notice her making particular effort around you

If she’s always dressed down or she doesn’t tend to make a huge effort normally with her appearance, it’s suspicious when she starts to do so.

Of course, she could simply be doing it all for herself and more power to her if that’s the case. But it could also mean that she’s making an effort to get you to notice her and start flirting back.

10. Her friends start to drop hints

Never underestimate the power of a girl’s friends when it comes to helping her catch the guy she wants! If her friends *assuming you know them* are dropping hints or blatantly telling you that the two of you would make a great couple, then you have to sit up and take notice of that.

In terms of ‘is she flirting with me,’ when combined with other signs, this is a major nod towards the ‘yes’ side of the argument. [Read: Should I ask her out? 30 clear signs she’s just waiting for you to make a move]

11. She’s all over your social media

When you get a notification, do you automatically know that it’s going to be her liking something you’ve posted? That means she’s watching your social media pages and she’s making it known that she’s doing so!

It doesn’t mean she’s watching your every move, it’s not creepy like that, but she is interested in what you’re doing and who you’re with.

12. She’s all about eye contact

Does she make regular eye contact with you? Not just the coy look, smile and look away routine we talked about earlier, but do you notice her looking at you generally?

Eye contact is one of the ways we show other people that we’re paying attention but also a way to show that we’re interested. She might look embarrassed when you catch her and then look away but don’t be fooled – she wanted you to notice! [Read: 13 very subtle eye contact flirting tips to catch someone’s eye from afar]

13. She pays you compliments

If she’s giving you more compliments than usual, you can pretty much say it’s a flirtation move. We tend to try and flatter the people we like, so if she’s doing that, you can take it as read that she’s flirting.

Maybe she’ll tell you that she likes your new haircut, basically, letting you know that she noticed. She might tell you that she likes your shirt. It’s an excuse to butter you up a little and get the conversation flowing. She’s flirting!

14. She teases you

While she’s giving you compliments, she might also tease you a little too. That doesn’t mean she’s outright rude or calls you names, but instead, she jokingly makes a teasing comment and nudges you to show that she’s only playing around. It’s one of the classic signs she’s flirting with you, so don’t take it personally! [Read: How to be a tease – 13 really flirty moves to capture their attention]

15. She makes a point of being interested in what you’re saying

While you’re talking about something you did lately or something you enjoy, she’ll hang on to your every word. She might even come up with a few random questions to ask. She’s keeping the conversation going because she wants to keep talking to you.

You want to know ‘is she flirting with me,’ and while this isn’t an obvious move, it’s a subtle, under-the-radar flirtation technique that shows she wants to know more about you.

16. Her body language is open

We talked about mirroring your body language earlier but if her body language is open and she’s displaying several other signs, it could be that she’s flirting with you. Open body language means she’s not hiding any part of her body away from you. [Read: Body language of women – 12 subtle cues to read her mind in no time]

So, she doesn’t have her arms crossed over her body or her legs crossed over the other as she’s sitting. She’s inviting you to talk to her, and she’s also showing you her body, which she is probably doing subconsciously.

17. She makes slightly suggestive remarks

When she starts to take her flirting up a notch, she might start to make the odd suggestive remark. But, she’ll do this in such a subtle way that you won’t be sure whether she means it or not! She’s testing the waters and she wants to see how you respond to these sexual innuendos she’s making!

She’ll probably say something that could be mildly sexual and then laugh, nudge you as if she’s joking, and then change the subject. She meant it, she’s just testing you. [Read: The cock tease – How to recognize the flirty games she plays]

What’s the verdict? Is she flirting with you?

The bottom line is that when we’re flirting, we’re opening ourselves up to possible hurt. We’re vulnerable. With that in mind, it’s possible that she’s convinced herself that you don’t like her in the same way, so she’s pulling back to save herself and her own heart.

We’re all complicated creatures, so don’t try and make sense of it. Simply look for the signs and see how many of them you can tick off.

When you have a few, it’s likely she is flirting up a storm. It’s then up to you to figure out how you feel and whether you want to flirt right back! [Read: What does sexual attraction feel like – How to know exactly]

If so, do her a favor and let her know that you like her back. Put the poor girl out of her misery! If you don’t, make it known in a gentle and platonic way, and let her move her flirtation skills onto someone else who might be the one for her.

[Read: How to tell if a girl likes you by the way she texts you]

Flirting can be difficult to figure out. If you’re wondering ‘is she flirting with me,’ you won’t be the first or the last to wonder. But knowing what clues to look for will help you decide your next step.

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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