And we women thought it was a myth. See, we aren’t always right, blue balls exist. Here’s how to cure blue balls and get back on the horse.
Listen, I really didn’t think blue balls was a thing. I mean, men complained about it, but my connection to testicles is somewhat limited, so how would I know? However, after some years, I’ve come to accept blue balls exist. They don’t turn blue for fun, so knowing how to cure blue balls is important to understand.
I mean, it makes sense. When a guy gets turned on, blood flows to the penis giving him an erection and swollen testicles. But, what happens when he doesn’t ejaculate? Instead of going back to normal, the pressure builds up, and they’re left with painful balls.
How to cure blue balls
But why are the called blue balls? Honestly, I haven’t seen an actual pair of blue balls. However, from what my friends tell me, the testicles turn slightly… blue. Yes, I know, the name is self-explanatory. I just thought I would make it extra clear for you—the balls turn blue, people! So, you need to know how to get rid of blue balls.
#1 Who is susceptible to blue balls? If you have balls, you are susceptible. If you’re aroused, you are susceptible. But, those who really have it the worst are young men.
#2 Men aren’t the only ones. We may not have balls, but, that doesn’t mean we can’t get blue balls. Okay, it’s not actually called blue balls for us. But, if women don’t orgasm, they feel irritation and aching in their lower abdomen and pelvis.
#3 Blue balls prevention. There are two ways to prevent blue balls. Pay close attention, take some notes on this, it’s important.
So, if you want to prevent blue balls, this is what you’ll have to do: 1) ejaculate or 2) don’t become aroused. I know the second option isn’t ideal. Personally, if I were you, I would avoid it. Stick to prevention method one, you can’t go wrong with that one.
#4 There’s really only one cure. At the end of the day, the easiest and most efficient way is to masturbate. If you’re at your in-law’s house, just go to the bathroom and rub one out.
#5 Cold compress. It’s going to be a little cold, I’m not going to lie, but it helps. So, get that bag of frozen peas out and throw them, gently, on your balls. What happens is that cold compresses mimic non-adrenaline, which is the hormone released after you orgasm. It reduces the blood flow to your balls, thus, reducing pain.
#6 Lift some weights. This probably sounds weird and you may think it’ll feel uncomfortable but lifting heavy objects causes something called Valsalva Maneuver.
This is the feeling in your lower abdominal muscles when you’re lifting weights. What it does is change the blood pressure, reducing the pressure in your genitals.
#7 Exercise. Who honestly wants to work out when their balls are aching? Well, I wouldn’t, but if you have no other options, this works. If you can get up and go for a run, it helps reduce the pain. You want to get the blood flowing throughout your body and away from your balls. So, if you can move around, do it. Your balls with thank you.
#8 Time heals all. So cliché, I know. But time does heal all, especially if you’re unable to work out or masturbate—you just need to take it.
#9 Blue balls aren’t an excuse to pressure a woman. I know many women, including myself, have been in a position where their boyfriend started talking about blue balls and that he needs some help. Well, sometimes, I don’t want to help, sometimes I just want to cuddle and watch Netflix—no chill. But blue balls actually are a painful event, so, your help may save him a painful experience.