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How to Cure Blue Balls: 9 Ways to Make Your Testicles Happy Again

how to cure blue balls

And we women thought it was a myth. See, we aren’t always right, blue balls exist. Here’s how to cure blue balls and get back on the horse.

Listen, I really didn’t think blue balls was a thing. I mean, men complained about it, but my connection to testicles is somewhat limited, so how would I know? However, after some years, I’ve come to accept blue balls exist. They don’t turn blue for fun, so knowing how to cure blue balls is important to understand.

I mean, it makes sense. When a guy gets turned on, blood flows to the penis giving him an erection and swollen testicles. But, what happens when he doesn’t ejaculate? Instead of going back to normal, the pressure builds up, and they’re left with painful balls.

How to cure blue balls

But why are the called blue balls? Honestly, I haven’t seen an actual pair of blue balls. However, from what my friends tell me, the testicles turn slightly… blue. Yes, I know, the name is self-explanatory. I just thought I would make it extra clear for you—the balls turn blue, people! So, you need to know how to get rid of blue balls.

#1 Who is susceptible to blue balls? If you have balls, you are susceptible. If you’re aroused, you are susceptible. But, those who really have it the worst are young men.

Young men are horny, easily aroused, so, if anything, they’re the ones truly suffering. I mean, have you seen a teenage guy? They get aroused over almost anything, what a nightmare. [Read: Powerful ways to stop being horny – Without masturbating or having sex]

#2 Men aren’t the only ones. We may not have balls, but, that doesn’t mean we can’t get blue balls. Okay, it’s not actually called blue balls for us. But, if women don’t orgasm, they feel irritation and aching in their lower abdomen and pelvis.

So, since we all suffer from blue balls, the best thing we do is help each other when we start experiencing this horrid pain. [Read: Female blue balls: Blue bean and the search for answers]

#3 Blue balls prevention. There are two ways to prevent blue balls. Pay close attention, take some notes on this, it’s important.

So, if you want to prevent blue balls, this is what you’ll have to do: 1) ejaculate or 2) don’t become aroused. I know the second option isn’t ideal. Personally, if I were you, I would avoid it. Stick to prevention method one, you can’t go wrong with that one.

#4 There’s really only one cure. At the end of the day, the easiest and most efficient way is to masturbate. If you’re at your in-law’s house, just go to the bathroom and rub one out.

I know, it’s not the time or place but you’re suffering right now. So, take a couple minutes, pull out your iPhone and go onto PornHub. The point is, ejaculate if you want immediate relief. [Read: Cum like a porn star – How to shoot a powerful load every time]

#5 Cold compress. It’s going to be a little cold, I’m not going to lie, but it helps. So, get that bag of frozen peas out and throw them, gently, on your balls. What happens is that cold compresses mimic non-adrenaline, which is the hormone released after you orgasm. It reduces the blood flow to your balls, thus, reducing pain.

#6 Lift some weights. This probably sounds weird and you may think it’ll feel uncomfortable but lifting heavy objects causes something called Valsalva Maneuver.

This is the feeling in your lower abdominal muscles when you’re lifting weights. What it does is change the blood pressure, reducing the pressure in your genitals.

#7 Exercise. Who honestly wants to work out when their balls are aching? Well, I wouldn’t, but if you have no other options, this works. If you can get up and go for a run, it helps reduce the pain. You want to get the blood flowing throughout your body and away from your balls. So, if you can move around, do it. Your balls with thank you.

#8 Time heals all. So cliché, I know. But time does heal all, especially if you’re unable to work out or masturbate—you just need to take it.

I get it, the clock is going to tick slowly, but there’s nothing else you can do. It takes around an hour for the pain to subside, so, turn on a movie and try to distract yourself. [Read: Healthy testicles: 7 tests to keep your balls in check]

#9 Blue balls aren’t an excuse to pressure a woman. I know many women, including myself, have been in a position where their boyfriend started talking about blue balls and that he needs some help. Well, sometimes, I don’t want to help, sometimes I just want to cuddle and watch Netflix—no chill. But blue balls actually are a painful event, so, your help may save him a painful experience.

[Read: More blue balls secrets and tips every guy and girl’s gotta know]

Now that you know how to cure blue balls, next time you feel a painful tingle in your pants, take charge and rub one out. It’s the only way to save your balls.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...
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