Does your guy want to try something new in bed? As tempting as it may seem, don’t fall for the just the tip sex excuse unless you’re mentally prepared to give it a try.
When you’re a young girl who’s looking forward to exploring her sexuality, the world is an exciting and yet dangerous place. You’re not ready for so many things, and at the same time, you can’t wait to try it all out.
To begin with, you may start to date a guy or get into an exclusive relationship with him.
The romantic relationship starts with promises for the future, and fuzzy skips and bounces in your heart.
Then, it’s all about holding hands. And kissing. Maybe even feeling each other up.
And then, it’s about holding each other’s body parts against each other. Then it’s dry humping and exploring each other sexually. Check out this guide on dry humping and the virgin’s guide to sex to learn how to enjoy dry humping better, instead of progressing to just the tip sex when you’re not ready.
And finally, the inevitable stage arrives in the relationship. He wants to have sex with you.
So are you ready for that big step in your relationship? As in, are you ready to have sex with a guy?
This is a personal question, and one that depends on no one else but you. No one’s opinion matters here, and you shouldn’t give a damn what someone else thinks. Just remember this though, rushing into your first time sexual experience is a mistake many girls make because of peer pressure.
Everyone else is doing it, and so you feel the need to do it too. That’s an acceptable reason. But are you doing it out of that pressure, or do you really believe your mind and body is ready for it?
[Read: How I lost my virginity – 15 true stories that aren’t all that sexy]
Five years from now, you’ll realize that it doesn’t matter at what age you had sex for the first time, or with whom, or how many people know about it, or even how cool you are because you are not a virgin anymore. No one in the world would care. No one, except you. You’re the only person who’ll remember the experience, and good or bad, it will stay with you for a long time. So whenever you do choose to have sex for the first time, do it because you’re ready, not because you were tricked into it.
And now comes another bump you’d have to learn to handle. Even if you aren’t ready to have sex, big chances are, you may fall for the infamous just-the-tip excuse and find yourself having sex with a guy even before you know it!
[Read: The dirty truth about losing your virginity no one probably told you yet]
“Just the tip sex” is when a guy penetrates you sexually, but doesn’t slip his entire penis inside you. He slips an inch or two of his penis into your vagina, and penetrates you, while convincing you that he’s not actually penetrated you because he hasn’t “gone in all the way”.
Just the tip sex is a guy’s sneaky way of warming up to the big sexual act. It’s where the guy inserts just a tiny bit of his penis or just his little head into you down there.
If you’re still a virgin, chances are, you’ve already heard this line from your boyfriend or are going to hear it very soon.
Many girls are terrified by the thought of doing it for the first time. Just imagining something that snaky vanishing inside of you can definitely freak anyone out.
Will it hurt? Am I ready for it? Do I really want to?
Your mind may be full of questions, but nevertheless, the infamous just-the-tip excuse is a great way to test the waters without the fear of getting hurt, especially by guys. [Read: Is your boyfriend interested in you for all the wrong reasons?]
As humans, we love exploring boundaries all the time, be it about outer space, alcohol or body parts. So it’s completely acceptable to feel curious about sex.
When both of you have fondled each other for a while, and want to take things further, it’s only a matter of time before the focus starts to go down there. The thought of having sex with just the tip inside of you is extremely tempting, especially if you’re too scared to go all the way.
But if you’re still not ready to have sex for the first time, don’t let your guy trick you into having sex with this excuse.
Just so you’re familiar with how it works, read this feature on first time sex and the virgin’s guide to nailing it. It has everything you need, and 22 tips to make sure you have a great time when you’re ready for it.
Guys say they don’t manipulate girls, and they also say that they absolutely hate it when they get manipulated by a girl. But just the tip sex is the perfect example of male manipulation at its finest, sexual best.
In the middle of some heavy petting, a guy may guide his hands into your panties, and before you know it, he may start coaxing you to have sex with him. And when you slap his hands away a few times, he uses the almost foolproof excuse of just the tip sex.
He may say something like “babe, let’s try it with just the tip, okay? If it hurts you even a teeny bit or if you feel uncomfortable, I’ll take it out… please… please… please…!”
[Read: 30 facts about guys that can help you read his mind]
That’s where a girl drops her guard down and decides to give in because her guy seems to want to do it so badly. You think to yourself, “maybe just the tip sex isn’t all that bad, right? He’s not penetrating me, he’s just teasing it down there”.
Almost all the time, even if a girl isn’t mentally prepared to have sex, she may feel like she needs to accommodate her boyfriend’s wish, just to please him because it’s such a tiny favor and he’s such a sweet guy. After all, it’s just the tip, isn’t it? He’s not going in all the way anyway. It’s the least you can do for him, right?
[Read: First time sex and the myths girls need to stop believing]
Almost all girls I know have fallen for this line when they had sex for the first time. Now I’m not going to say that the guy is at fault here, nor am I suggesting that guys take advantage of a girl’s weak moment. All I’m trying to say is that the temptation of doing it with just the tip is just incredibly hard to resist. [Read: The right way to make a guy chase you to keep him interested in you]
And once you accept to have his little dick head inside you, it’s only a matter of time before he goes inching deeper one step at a time until he says “oops, look at that, the little guy’s all in already, isn’t he?”
Once a guy slips his little head inside you, it’s almost impossible to stop it from going in all the way within the next couple of days or a week. Even if you stop him from inching deeper the first time, he’ll go just a little deeper the next time.
All you two are doing is teasing the idea of sexual intercourse and pushing the boundary. Just the tip sex is the perfect excuse to build the heavy petting and experimenting, to have sex whether you’re ready for it or not. And the day you start with just the tip, you can literally count your days down to full penetration because that’s just how it works.
[Read: The fear of sex – Understanding Genophobia and ways to overcome it]
Don’t fall for the just the tip sex excuse when a guy uses it on you. As irresistible as the chivalrous offer may seem, you still need to be mentally prepared to have sex. And you need to be sure you’re doing it with a guy who respects you and loves you.
[Read: The 7 stages of love for guys and how they really fall in love]
Your virginity may mean nothing more than a virgin notch on the bedpost to a guy who wants to bed you. But to you, it’s a special moment which marks the awakening of the the next sexual stage in your life. [Read: The 12 dating stereotypes of girls in a guy’s mind]
Play it safe, take it slow and wait for a guy who appreciates you for who you really are. And if you feel like you’re too young for such a big sexual step, don’t succumb to peer pressure. When it’s the right time and you’re with the right guy, you’ll just know you’re mentally and emotionally ready to have sex with him.
When everything goes well the first time, you’ll even feel great about it instead of getting upset or angry with yourself.
[Read: 30 super sexy ways to keep a guy interested in you without having sex with him]
I know you don’t want to hear this, but just the tip sex is still sex, at the end of the day. But I know what you’re wondering, you don’t care if it’s “sex”. All you care is whether your hymen will tear with just the tip sex, or if someone can check you down there and know you’re not “intact” and not a virgin anymore.
[Read: What to expect at your first gynecologist’s appointment]
Firstly, hymens tear for a lot of reasons, and they don’t always involve sexual intercourse. But that apart, when a guy penetrates you, whether it’s an inch or six inches or more, he is still penetrating your vagina. And the hymen is a thin perforated membrane *usually in the shape of a donut with a hole in the center for your period to flow out* which is visible just under your labia, the small flap inside your vagina. So yes, your hymen WILL get stretched to accommodate his penis even if he slips his penis an inch inside you.
So unless you really are mentally and emotionally prepared to have sexual intercourse with a guy, stay away from just the tip sex. The temptation is too high, and sometimes, you may just feel like you gave in before you were ready for it. And that would only make you dislike the guy, or worse, the whole sexual experience!
[Read: Sex for the first time – The teen’s guide to a great time]
Yes, you can! You need to remember that your hymen still has a hole in it. So if a guy ejaculates over your vagina or ejaculates into you with just his tip, there’s a chance his sperm can enter your vagina, and find its way into your uterus, which starts the process of egg fertilization if you’re ovulating.
And unless the guy is using a condom, there’s a good chance he won’t be able to control his ejaculation! Don’t trust a guy’s pull out game. And if you’re talking about just the tip, chances are, you probably haven’t had sex. And the guy you’re with, he obviously has very limited experience with sex too.
With all this sexual immaturity at play, he’s going to ejaculate inside you within a few minutes because he’s just not experienced enough to master his pull out game. Just stay safe, and use a condom! [Read: Why you should never trust a guy’s pull out game… ever!]
Okay, just to make this clear, when you have sex with just the tip, you are still having sex. It’s still some kind of penetration. If someone licks a cake, they haven’t finished eating the cake, BUT they have eaten the cake, haven’t they? That’s the same with just the tip sex. It brings the same risks, but just adds more temptation and stress to the mix, because you’re probably not ready for the act, but you’re committing to it.
Is full penetration better than just the tip sex? Of course, it is! We’re being honest. Just the tip sex is stressful, anxiety-inducing and you’re relying on your guy to do it right. You’d feel helpless and out of control. The best thing here is wait until you’re both ready, and have sex, when you’re emotionally prepared for it.
So the next time you’re making out with a guy and he bats his puppy dog eyes and pleads to tickle you with his little toy, even if it’s just the tip sex, don’t fall for the temptation. First time sex shouldn’t be planned in the heat of the moment. It’s something you need to think about when his hands are nowhere near your pants.
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