You think you’re big and hairy, hard to carry down south of your boxers… but are big balls normal? Here’s what big testicles really mean.
Do you have big balls? Do girls like big balls? Are big balls normal? These are only some of the common search queries Google is eating up about the world of big balls, and we’re doing our best to give you the answers!
In the words of AC/DC, “Some balls are held for charity and some for fancy dress, but when they’re held for pleasure, they’re the balls that I like best.” This playful song about beloved big balls still resonates with men who have big testicles and 1970s music lovers, alike!
The point? Big balls may not be the subject of a sports night with the guys the way boob problems are the subject of a girl-gabbing Sunday brunch, but they are definitely a subject men are researching online! We’re looking at what is normal in the world of testicles, how girls feel about ball size, and whether your balls are normal. [Read: What do women really think about your penis?]
What is normal, anyway?
Having some other wonders about your downtown twins? Some other completely natural ball-related concerns include having one testicle bigger than the other, one hanging lower, and a loose, tightened, or veiny scrotum. All bodies come in different shapes and sizes, including those big balls of yours! Body positivity aside, the average testicle size is 1 inch wide and 2-3 inches long. So, basically anything over or under these stats would cause your balls to drop *no pun intended* above or below the “norm.”
Pros and cons of having big testicles
Do you want the bad news or the good news first? As it turns out, there are plenty of pros and cons to having larger-than-life testicles. While no man will weigh in at the right whale’s ginormous, one-ton balls, here’s what you’re in for as a human male with big testes.
#1 The bigger the balls, the more sperm you have. That’s right! If you’re looking to spread your seed and make life, big balls below means you have more sperm to give and more of a chance to impregnate your lucky lady!
#2 Increased sex drive. Given your natural endowment, you may be sporting a higher sex drive.
#3 Self-Confidence. Admit it… your boys are big and you’re proud to show them off. Go ahead–hold your head high!
#1 Fatherhood may not be your forte. While you may have enough sperm to go around in those big clunkers, some scientists suggest that men with smaller testicles are the ones who make “father of the year” material. Men with bigger balls allegedly have poorer parenting skills than men with a smaller sack. This is linked to a decrease in testosterone.
#2 Promiscuity. Some researchers suggest that men with larger testicles are more likely to cheat. Why? Too much testosterone kicking around! Your personal preference of getting laid may suggest this bullet point belongs in the “pro” section… but we think your partner would disagree! [Consider: Why do people become promiscuous?]
#3 Addicted to alcohol. One study done by the University of Florence suggests that men with big testicles are more likely to be alcoholics.
#4 High blood pressure. The same study says that big balls equal high blood pressure in males.
#5 Heart disease. Research on 2,800+ Italian fellows was conducted for more than 7 years concerning sexual dysfunction. The findings? Men with larger testicles had links to heart disease and other cardiovascular health issues.
Real opinions from real girls
Do women like big balls? This common question stems from the ol’ “bigger is better” notion. We surveyed several different women for their opinions on larger-than-life testicles and here’s what we found:
“I honestly have never noticed the size of my partner’s balls… ever.” – Brittany, 23
“I dated one guy with microscopic balls. Microscopic! I kid you not. Okay, obviously I’m kidding but they were so small I questioned whether he could legit impregnate anyone. You know how those Beta Fish are put in those fish tanks roughly the size of a stick of butter? That’s how I pictured his sperm. Down to the real question: did I give a crap? Nah. We boned anyway and it was G-R-E-A-T.” – Michelle, 19
“I feel like the bigger the balls, the more gross and hairy and smelly they are. Or maybe I just keep dating guys who are opposed to showers. Still, not a fan of balls—period!” – Amanda, 29
Still concerned about having big testicles? Stay on top of any health concerns you may have by having regular ball exams. A testicular exam can be performed by your family doctor, or at home, riding solo! Here’s the low-down on how to perform a self-exam.
#1 What do I do? Pro tip: move your penis out of the way before getting down to the boys! Doing one ball at a time, roll your testicle between your thumb and fingers.
#2 What am I looking for? Any lumps, bumps, or changes in consistency.
#3 Practice makes perfect. The more you perform the at-home ball grab, the more familiar you’ll become with your testicles. This will make it easy to discern if anything about your sack has changed. Schedule an appointment with your doctor if you do feel any lumps or changes.
When it comes to big balls, penis size, head, shoulder, knees, and toes, there really is no equivocal “normal.” With regular self-checks and the occasional feel from your favorite doc, you should be sitting pretty down south. Instead of sweating over your big balls, enjoy them!
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