Being in a long distance relationship is hard. Not only do you miss each other but you need to come up with ways to stay connected despite the distance.
A long distance relationship is the epitome of the word’ challenge.’ But, we all love a good challenge, right?
This type of relationship requires a lot of effort but the rewards are more than worth it.
Relationships are rarely a straight road that both individuals can follow in perfect unison. After all, our lives can be divided up into so many areas that demand our attention: our health, our families, our career, and so forth.
Often, one of these demands may cause a fork in the road, separating a couple on their relationship course temporarily, whilst a separate life mission is pursued.
If you’re facing a prospective long distance relationship and are wondering how to handle it or even get through it, here’s everything you need to know.
[Read: How to deal with a long distance romance and keep your sanity]
Long distance relationships have the worst reputation
Most people who say long distance relationships don’t work have tried and failed miserably. This probably isn’t because they lived far away, either. It’s usually because they didn’t work hard enough to have a healthy relationship.
You don’t often hear about the people who are in happy long distance relationships. It’s because they’re happy and don’t feel the need to talk about it.
So these types of relationships get a bad reputation simply because those who couldn’t make it work spoke out… a lot!
The first thing to know about long distance relationships is that they can work out. The other things, well, we’ll get there. [Read: Putting too much effort into a relationship and where to draw the line]
The struggles of being in a long distance relationship
When you can’t be with your partner in person, you’ll run into some issues. You’ll miss each other, obviously. And you’ll also lack the physical intimacy that can bring a couple closer together. That’s not to even mention the fact that you could become more insecure in your relationship because you don’t get to feel their love in person.
This makes you question their feelings, and all of that can be really difficult to deal with. Luckily, you can actually deal with it. Although long distance relationships can come with a lot of issues, they don’t have to ruin your union. [Read: Why am I so insecure? 29 reasons and ways to feel way more secure and confident]
Can YOU handle a LDR? The most important things to know about long distance relationships
Long distance love can seem cute in the movies, and while a few lovers may find it easier to handle the distance, many fail miserably and end up hating each other.
So unless you’re really ready for some difficult and faraway loving, and willing to give your relationship the test of time, put the relationship on hold, break up and move on, at least until both of you can meet again. After all, a long distance relationship takes some effort and sacrifice from both partners. If you’re not ready for that, really, why bother?!
Now that you know what counts, here are a few things you need to keep in mind while deciding on long distance love.
Are you ready for it? You’ll have your answer in a few minutes. [Read: Types of relationships – 26 ways to define your love life]
1. Long distance relationships require a lot of effort
Most lovers take love and relationships for granted. But in reality, relationships do need commitment and a bit of work. Most of the time, chemistry in love and understanding makes things in love seem easier and happier.
But if you’re not having a great relationship that’s overflowing with love already, you may have to reconsider your decision on long distance love.
When you’re away from each other, it’s easier to have misunderstandings over the simplest of things like a phone call, texts, scheduled visits, or even a rumor. And the worst part is that either of you can’t do much to ease the tension because both of you are so far away.
Take a chance on long distance love only if both of you are compatible, understanding and have the will to take this big a step. [Read: Handling insecurity in a relationship]
2. Can you handle the freedom and loneliness?
This is a big one in long distance love. When both of you live within the same area code, it’s easy to be with each other all the time. You get to watch new movies together, go out for dinners, and party as a couple all night long.
And when one of you has to move away, both of you are going to have a difficult time idling time away on weekends. Even a few minutes in bored loneliness can feel like a lifetime. You can spend time with your friends, but it’s just not the same as being with someone you can flirt with, cuddle with, or have sex with.
While the new freedom of partial singledom can be exciting, especially when you have a lot of time to spend with new friends and meet new people, the loneliness can lead you to look for easy ways to bring back the excitement into your single life. *a.k.a hookups* [Read: How to stop being clingy – 19 ways to gain self-confidence]
3. Can you trust your partner?
Learning to trust each other in a relationship is crucial in keeping long distance love alive. But do you really trust your attractive and outgoing partner?
You know how easy is it to have a great time with someone else when you’re out with a ‘new friend.’ Could your partner be up to something? Or could your partner lose interest in the relationship when they’re having so much fun hanging out with their new friends?
The bottom line here is to ask yourself if you can completely trust your partner. If either of you can’t trust each other, perhaps long distance love isn’t for you. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and learn to be loyal and loving]
4. It’s easy to get frustrated
Remember how easy it is to get upset with each other even during regular days? Long distance between each other can make it even worse.
First of all, there’s fear and insecurity. Secondly, even the smallest of things like not answering the phone, going out more often, or partying with new friends can lead to frustrations and confusion.
And the biggest bummer in long distance love, attractive new friends. It’s extremely easy for one partner to get jealous or angry when the other partner gets friendly with a few new attractive people.
When new, mysterious friends start posting regular comments on your partner’s social media or start interrupting your phone calls, it’s all the more reason to lose your cool. [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship]
5. Absence makes the heart grow fonder
The absence of your lover can make both of you miss each other a lot more, and even help both of you realize how much love means to both of you.
As long as both of you take the effort to keep love alive, it’ll lead to a stronger and more fulfilled relationship when both of you get together again.
Long distance love can actually be the biggest relationship test that can help both of you understand how much either of you means to each other. [Read: How to talk about your feeling in a relationship and grow closer]
6. Absence makes you hornier too
When you’re in a perfectly happy relationship with an attractive person, it’s easy to feel sexually exhilarated. You have great sex, add in a bit of cuddling and kissing, and life’s just perfect.
But when you’re experiencing a long distance relationship, you’re all alone and you’re obviously going to feel the loneliness in your loins pretty soon. It’s just inevitable.
Can you put those lusty thoughts aside and wait until you hold your partner in your hands again? [Read: The most powerful ways to stop feeling horny without masturbating or having sex]
7. It’s much easier to cheat and not get caught
Your partner isn’t around anymore. Your friends have their own lives going on. No one really cares what you’re up to late at night. Have you met someone who’s attracted to you or is charmed by you? What are you going to do about it?
When you’re experiencing a long distance romance, it’s really easy for either partner to cheat and get away with it without even leaving a trace behind.
Do you trust your partner and yourself to avoid that temptation? The fact that either of you will never get caught makes it so much easier. But you have to learn to leave temptations behind and walk away.
One stolen kiss will lead to another and eventually, it’ll just create a serial cheater out of you or your partner. If either of you thinks you can’t handle long distance love for lusty reasons, end it instead of cheating a partner and losing your conscience. [Read: Are you in love with two people? How to make up your mind]
8. You may grow apart
As humans, all of us grow and change into better and newer individuals all the time. When you’re living together or even just dating, you may not notice these differences because both of you learn to evolve together.
But when you’re in a long distance relationship, it’s easier to grow apart because both of you are pursuing your own dreams and leading your own lives.
Love needs communication to grow. Unless both of you put in the effort to communicate each other’s feelings and talk about goals and aspirations, you’d start to see that both of you are moving away in different directions.
And at times, both of you may end up becoming incompatible partners even if both of you were deeply in love with each other.
Long distance love may be a great test to measure the strength in the relationship, but it’s riddled with temptations, jealousy, and frustrations that can create havoc in even the perfect of relationships. [Read: 23 reasons why good relationship end even if there are no red flags at all]
How to make a long distance relationship work and grow in love
If you’re sure that you want to embark on a long distance relationship and you’re aware of the challenges you’re going to face, you’ll need to master these steps on how to make a long distance relationship work.
1. Talk often, more than you ever have
Both of you can’t really meet every evening or even every week anymore. So there’s just no communication and small talk. And every great relationship needs that.
Spend more time talking to each other and keep each other in the loop about your lives. Unless either of you get annoyed with regular calls, speak often with each other. And don’t skip out all those little intimate details like what you had for dinner, what color is your underwear, and which side of your bed you’re facing.
After all, if you can’t take a peek into each other’s lives with video calls every now and then, the next best thing to keep love alive is to hear about every intimate detail. [Read: 25 signs your relationship will only grow stronger and last a lifetime]
2. Get some face to face time
While emotional intimacy is paramount for a successful relationship, a bit of face time can do wonders too. Get on a video call, drop a few love notes off occasionally for each other, send pictures of each other doing crazy things *just not nude crazy things*, and make a point to get on your webcam and take a good look at each other at least a few times a week.
An occasional peek of privates when you’re sure no one’s around can help too! [Read: How to have Facetime sex and enjoy every minute of it without inhibition]
3. Meet as frequently as possible
It may be hard to meet often if you’re on an expedition in the Amazon or living a thousand miles away, but no matter what the distance, try to schedule a prospective date to meet. And try to meet as often as you both can.
When you fix a date for the next meeting, it’ll keep the excitement alive even if the meeting is several months away. And as long as both of you take an initiative to meet up, both of you will feel good about it.
4. Don’t be jealous
If you want to make a long distance relationship work, hammer this into your head. Somehow, most lovers have the most trouble handling this little thing called jealousy.
Let’s face it, you know your partner is hot stuff. And you can’t really do anything if someone else is hitting on them, or if you hear a few rumors that your mate’s dating someone else or if you read a “last night was fun!” message on your lover’s facebook wall.
Stop yourself from getting jealous, this is your sweetheart we’re talking about. This person is all yours and no one else’s. It’s easy to get worked up over nothing, so take it easy and wait for your partner to tell you all about it and have a laugh! [Read: Why am I so jealous? The real reasons why we feel it and how to fix it ASAP]
5. Learn to trust your partner and help your partner trust you
Long distance relationships can be more painful than fun if your partner’s someone who’s always attracted a lot of attention from others. But the one thing that matters here is the big question, do you trust your partner?
On the other hand, help your partner trust you and believe you. Always be honest and talk about every little incident so your partner never feels like they’re left out of the loop. And don’t call your partner when you’ve got giggling or noisy friends over.
If there’s a weird comment on your Instagram post, reply to it in a manner that can clear the air for your long distance lover.
Always give your lover enough time over the phone or video call and make them feel special and cared for. Losing trust in the relationship is one of the biggest reasons why lovers break up in a long distance relationship.
And almost always, it’s usually a misunderstanding that triggers the lack of trust. So tread carefully on this one. [Read: 17 things you should NEVER do on Instagram if you have a girlfriend]
6. Understand that you can’t always be there for your partner emotionally
As helpless as you may seem, you need to get this into your head. You can’t always be there for your lover.
When your partner does feel low or is having a bad day, all you can do is talk about it and ask your sweetheart to go out with a few friends and have some fun. Do just that.
But don’t get annoyed or pissed off that your partner’s out with their friends and god-knows-who-else. It’s a part of long distance relationship and loving from far away. You can’t help your lover or be there for them all the time.
You’re two lovers who love each other but can’t be there physically for each other, at least for a while. Both of you should understand that, or one of you may end up disconnecting emotionally because the other person is of no help. [Read: How to be more empathetic and 16 steps to make anyone feel understood]
7. Know that your partner will make new friends *some attractive ones too*
Okay, so deal with it. You aren’t around to show the world that you own your lover, so there really isn’t anything you can do about it other than trust your partner.
You have to understand that both of you are leading separate lives, and both of you are going to meet new friends. And at times, a new friend may be attractive, and at other times, a new friend may have a crush on your lover.
But all these things are natural, and you should learn to take them in your stride. You may be in a long distance relationship, but your partner does love you and only you.
Learn to trust your partner even if you’re having doubts about it. Making friends and meeting new people is natural and inevitable. And your lover is not going to have an affair with every new person they meet, so learn to calm your little heart [Read: 16 warning signs your partner is falling in love with someone else]
8. Reassure each other of your love
Every now and then, reassure your partner and promise to stay loyal.
You never know when your partner’s feeling insecure or anxious. By reminding your lover just how much you love them and how good it feels to talk to them, you’ll reassure your lover and help them cope with the long distance relationship. And learn to expect the same reassurance from your partner too.
9. Get naughty when you can
Love getting on a video call or over the phone with your lover late at night? Well, turn up the heat now and then. One of the biggest pains of a long distance relationship is the lack of sexual intimacy. So work on that when both of you have the time.
Have a few naughty conversations or work a pole in front of your screen. Do whatever turns each of you on and bring that sexual intimacy back into your long distance love. And if it’s safe, send a few of your clothes over too. Your partner will miss you more, want you more, and will love you more! [Read: How to take sexy pictures and look great no matter where you are]
10. Learn to forgive and forget
You’ve heard this before and there’s a chance that you’ll hear it again. Shit happens.
Separated lovers can feel rather lonely at times, and with temptation all around it’s easy to stray even if you don’t want to. Mistakes do happen, and they can be completely circumstantial. If your relationship ever experiences a painful mistake, learn to get over it.
Sometimes, it’s not anyone’s fault unless one of you intentionally cheated on the other. [Read: Should you ever confess to cheating?]
Value your relationship and avoid temptations. Always remember that a mistake can feel good while it lasts, but it’ll never feel good once you’ve snapped out of it. And it may end your relationship or haunt both of you forever.
If you do want to know how to make a long distance relationship work, learn to resist temptation and learn to forgive and forget. It’s one of the banes of a long distance relationship. [Read: To cheat or not to cheat? A full guide to make up your own mind]
11. Allow yourselves time to explore your own individual interests
After being used to spending your time together as a couple a decent proportion of your time, it may seem strange that a large segment of your week is now spent as an individual as opposed to as a pair. The choices you make in terms of how you spend your time differ so greatly when alone.
There’s nothing like going through life as a team, having a support system with someone by your side, but this is not to say you should not take advantage of your time as an individual.
Although you are not truly separating your lives when you are apart, and it is quite important for your relationship that this is not the case, you are in a situation where the choices you make are now completely free from compromise.
Depending on how long you have spent being in a relationship, this may be out of your comfort zone at first.
Use all this free time to do things you might not be inclined to do as a couple. This may be focusing on your career, so that when it’s time to settle down, you can step back and focus time on life with your partner.
You may also want to reconnect with friends whom you haven’t been able to make time for previously.
You may be surprised to find that there were a lot of things you haven’t done in a while, whilst spending time with your loved one.
We often forget about the need for space in a relationship. Your individual endeavors should by no means be kept secret from your partner. [Read: How to give space in a relationship and grow closer together in all the right ways]
12. Communicate deeper
How did you communicate with your partner when you lived close by? Text, e-mail, instant messenger, facetime?
When you live close to each other, you use calls and texts as a means of convenience to text a quick line, and that’s about it.
But when you’re far away, you can have some of your most heartfelt and soul-searching conversations over the phone or via texts, and get closer to each other as well. When you start having long conversations, not only will you learn more about each other, but you’ll connect with each other on a much deeper level as well.
Also, just because we are in the age of technology, why abandon the first and possibly one of the most romantic forms of communication: the love letter? It can be heartfelt words of love, or simply wishing your partner a good week. In an age of instant communication, a letter is always an unexpected and romantic gesture. [Read: How to write a heartfelt love letter like a true romantic]
13. Be appreciative of your partner
This seems like such obvious advice, but it’s strange how often we forget these simple things. As a couple spending time together, you can often indirectly start to annoy each other, or little character traits appear that you never seemed to notice before.
You inadvertently start taking the other for granted, and the things you found so special and so attractive are pushed to the back of your brain.
But absence really does make the heart grow fonder. When you are forced to spend time apart from your partner, the times you reconnect are like revisiting your ‘honeymoon period.’ [Read: 16 easy-to-see examples if you’re being taken for granted already]
14. Appreciate the time you spend together
After spending time apart in a long distance relationship, even sitting and watching television together feels special.
Every moment is precious and you learn not to take it for granted. It is important to make every moment count, even the ‘boring bits.’ After all, we often seem to forget how big a deal it is that not only are you committed to spending time with this one person, but they also want to invest their time in being with you.
Give each other a return on that investment by making that time as pleasant as it can possibly be, even if you’re not doing anything special at all.
15. Show an interest in each other’s daily lives
It’s strange how much more you are inclined to ask questions and inquire about your partner’s daily life after being apart five or more days at a time, even the little things like their daily commute or what they had for lunch.
When you spend every moment together, you often neglect to ask about the smaller things in your partner’s daily life because you feel like a part of it.
But, just as we have learnt to embrace our own individuality in a relationship, it is important to respect and show interest in your partner’s individual life as well. You may instinctively rely on your partner to tell you the highlights of their day, but there’s nothing like the feeling of a loved one inquiring about these simple things before you even think to tell them. [Read: 15 things to talk about in a perfect relationship]
16. Plan your time together
Go on dates together or make a trip whenever you can! It’s all about cherishing the time that you have together and making it as special as it can be. This isn’t to say that you have to plan an elaborate outing every time you see each other, but it’s helpful to have something to look forward to whilst you are apart.
Furthermore, it’s also important to not be selfish with the time you do have together, after all, your partner may be leaving others behind to spend time with you!
Accept that they need time to spend with friends and family, and they will appreciate you more for it. Why not plan to involve yourself with others who require your partner’s time as well, even if it puts you out of your comfort zone. If you share the time you have, it will save arguments and resentment. [Read: 25 best relationship topics to talk about if you want to be happy]
17. Be spontaneous and break your usual routine
The routine of weekdays without your partner and weekends spent together can get a little repetitive and tiresome. We live with routine in our jobs and so many aspects of our lives, and love is one thing that should be free of it. After all, spontaneity is one of the biggest sparks of romance.
Make last-minute surprise visits to break the routine. One surprise visit can break up both of your weeks and make it so much more bearable.
18. Plan for the future
So, moving in together and settling down may have to be put on hold when you’re in a long distance relationship. But that is no reason to lose sight of what you want from the future and what you want as a couple.
Use the time apart to really decide on what you both want. Plan and compromise now and when the time comes, it will save time, decision making and arguments.
In any relationship, it is important to plan ahead. There is always a brighter future waiting for you and planning towards it makes life positive and motivating. Sharing that excitement with your partner makes for a stronger bond. [Read: 12 life questions to help you visualize your future]
19. Learn to resolve disagreements quickly
You’d be wrong for thinking that being apart would mean that you have fewer disagreements when you are together. Arguments will always happen. But arguing during your precious time together feels like a terrible waste of that time, or arguing over the phone and not knowing how the other person is truly feeling will leave you feeling helpless and raw.
Firstly, use this as an excuse not to argue at all. You have more control over it than you think. We argue because our first instinct to solve a disagreement is to, well, argue! It doesn’t have to be that way, but it takes work and it takes practice.
Learn to resolve your disagreements quickly or calmly to save yourself a prolonged “off” period, which is just a further waste of your time together. This is usually done by reminding yourself that you are not always right, and the issue isn’t that important.
Don’t forget that you can always agree to disagree, or cool down and revisit the conversation when you’ve both had time to reflect.
These are all methods we can use in any relationship, because regardless of how much time you spend together, arguing is usually a waste of time. [Read: 23 do’s and don’ts of relationship arguments]
20. Don’t let your long distance relationship rule your life
No relationship should take up all of your time. Everyone needs to have some space to do their own thing, whether it’s work, activities or hanging out with loved ones.
With long distance relationships, however, the two people involved may think that they need to spend every conceivable moment on the phone or on a video call together.
Quantity doesn’t equal quality. What are you supposed to talk about when you’re limiting each other’s social sphere to a video on a computer or phone?
Go out there and do something interesting every day so you can talk about it with your significant other. You can have a full life and still be able to make it home in time for your 9pm video call session. [Read: Does absence make the heart grow fonder or wander?]
21. Avoid blaming your partner for lost time at work or school
You may have different time zones, which would require you to sacrifice a bit of time in order to talk to each other. For some, the time zone difference is just a couple of hours. For others, it’s a whole 12 hours. Just imagine waking up at 4am in order to catch your honey right as they get home from work.
This can result in loss of sleep, not being able to function at work or even being late for your obligations.
But there is always a means of compromise. Let your significant other know that your activities are important.
With the help of technology, you can leave videos and voice messages on each other’s phones. You can text. Compromise is a lot better than just bearing the inconvenience and then blaming your significant other when things go awry. [Read: How to compromise in a relationship and not feel like you lost out]
22. Know that you may not have the same expectations
No one does. Before you part ways or before you enter into a long distance relationship, you have to make your expectations clear.
Say it if you want to talk every day, twice a day, have a video call once a week and so forth. Don’t assume you’re on the same page with this.
On your part, it’s also important that you know what your significant other expects. This allows you to discuss how you can insert your talk time in between your daily activities. Don’t just make it up along the way, because that’s just asking for a ton of misunderstanding and disappointment!
23. Never suddenly be out of reach during an argument
In a typical relationship, when couples fight and one of them walks out, the other only needs to sprint to catch up and start patching things up.
In a long distance relationship, on the other hand, once you hang up, turn off your phone and go offline, what other options does your significant other have?
Your partner is not just a voice inside a gadget. On the other end of the line is a real person who is trying to make your relationship work. Shutting off your gadget won’t make them disappear, and it will only serve to make the problem worse.
It’s like the physical equivalent of vanishing into thin air, and no one should have to go through that! [Read: Silent treatment abuse – How to take a stand and let your partner know they’re hurting the relationship]
24. Surprise packages can be sweet
The internet gives you the cheapest and most convenient way of communicating with other people. But it’s also nice to communicate in different ways, like sending snail mail or a postcard.
There’s just something sweet and sentimental about knowing that you’re touching something your significant other has also recently touched.
Little surprise packages in the mail are also a sweet gesture, particularly for birthdays or anniversaries. If you’re feeling a little frisky, a little video striptease might even spice things up.
25. Don’t pretend everything is okay if it’s not
This happens in typical relationships too. The difference is that in a long distance relationship, your partner may not be able to tell that something is wrong from the fuzzy webcam image of you. If there’s something you want to talk about, speak up.
Your partner may not be there to hug you, but they can be an empathetic listener.
Never underestimate how much your partner understands, especially if they’re dedicated enough to push through with a long distance relationship with you. [Read: How to talk about your feelings in a relationship and grow closer]
26. Be honest about nights out
Nights out are sort of a grey area in long distance relationships. Though some couples trust each other enough to be totally cool with it, other less secure couples aren’t as comfortable with it.
Whatever your level of comfort about it, the bottom line is that you have to tell your partner the truth.
Let them know who you’re with, where you’ll be going and what you’ll get up to. Honesty and trust are two of the strongest pillars in LDRs.
Lose one, and it all comes crumbling down. If you don’t trust yourself enough to not do anything you’ll regret, bring a friend who can keep you in check or don’t go out at all.
27. Avoid comparing your relationship to typical relationships
Every relationship is unique, with strong points and weaknesses. Your most obvious “weakness” just happens to be distance. But that doesn’t mean you’re not in a loving and healthy relationship.
Just because you don’t get to have sex or kiss or go on dates as often as the typical couple, doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed to fail.
Typical relationships have their own ups and downs, as does yours. Don’t let the milestones of other couples make you think any less of your own relationship. [Read: 25 ways to make your partner feel appreciated]
28. Don’t give in to cynics who put your relationship down
A long distance relationship is a tough pill to swallow. It’s not for everyone. But just because a bunch of people who have never tried it are saying that it’s bound to end in a breakup, doesn’t mean you have to fulfill their pessimistic prophecy.
If you think your relationship is doing fine, and your partner agrees, then it probably is.
What other people say about your relationship can really hurt. But that should only give you the motivation to keep fighting for it, to prove them wrong. They don’t get to say what you and your partner can do.
Besides, if anything, LDRs can be the ultimate test of love, understanding, trust and honesty. Not a lot of couples are given that chance, and even fewer couples pass the test.
29. You don’t need to talk all the time
People think because they’re far away they need to compensate for the distance by being in constant communication. Now, communication is essential in long distance relationship, but it’s essential in any relationship.
The problem with LDR is the distance makes people nervous, which causes insecurity. Talk to your partner like you would talk to your partner if they were here, but don’t suffocate them.
30. Make sure you’ve talked about your boundaries and what you expect
You both need to sit down and talk about your expectations from this relationship. What do you want from this? There are many different types of LDR.
Some people choose to have an open relationship, some choose to be exclusive. It really depends on you and your partner. But you have to talk about this, if not, the waters are cloudy and misinterpretation occurs. [Read: How to set boundaries in a relationship – 15 very important rules for healthy love]
31. Identify your goals
The only way a long distance relationship can work is if you both share the same goal at the end. Now, of course, the goal is to be together, but it has to be more specific.
For example, the end goal could be that when you finish university you move to their town or your partner is going to look for a job in your city and move there. The goal has to result with you two being together.
32. Don’t see the distance as a bad thing
Being in a LDR is what you signed up for. But in the meantime, while you wait to see your partner, do things you want to do.
You have the best of both worlds right now. You love someone, vice versa, but you also have the freedom to go out with your friends, hang out with your family, be alone when you want. [Read: Long distance pillows and other really cool LDR essentials]
33. Create an identity as a couple
You need to develop that “we” mentality that usually comes with couples. Yes, you are your own person and you should continue to be you, but you also need to create that “we” environment that connects you to your partner.
This “we” mentality shows that you both grow and develop to a shared goal and dream. You do this by sharing similar passions whether it’s reading, politics, watching movies, traveling, etc. [Read: How to give space in a relationship and not fall apart]
34. Use the time apart to focus on yourself
Use the time apart to focus on yourself. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you stopped growing as a person.
Do things that make you feel good and challenge yourself. Continue growing as a person while you wait to see them again. Don’t sit at home wasting the days until you see your partner again.
35. Find a way to have a sex life
This will be difficult, but you still can. Video chat is a thing. Phone sex is a thing. You can use toys and find ways to make your relationship sexual even if you’re far from each other. Having that type of intimacy will help keep you both satisfied. [Read: How to have phone sex – 26 ways to make them really horny listening to you]
36. Have regular date nights
Just because you’re not living near each other doesn’t mean you can skip out on date nights. Have a night where you both video chat while watching a movie and having some dinner.
It might not be as great as a real date, but it still keeps that intimacy alive. [Read: 33 awesome date ideas every couple should try]
37. Be respectful of your partner’s limits
You might love going out on the town at night and forgetting everything while out with friends. Your significant other may hate that because it makes them feel insecure. Respect that.
Find a happy medium. Check in once an hour when out. Send them snapchats and cute pictures throughout the night. Make it work for both of you through compromise.
38. Do similar things so you can talk about them
When you’re in a long distance relationship, you’re living very different lives. You aren’t involved in each other’s personal life, really. One way to change that is to do similar things.
Read the same book so you can talk about it. Go see the same movies and then discuss them afterward. Having things you’re both doing helps you forget the distance. [Read: The sweetest, intimate ways to show how much you care]
39. Don’t be obsessive about what they’re doing
You don’t have to be in contact with your partner the entire day. Both of you have separate, busy lives. If you obsess about where they are all the time and what they’re doing, it’ll feel smothering to them.
Yes, even at a distance you can be clingy. This will also make them feel like you have no trust in your relationship. That alone can derail your happiness together.
40. Avoid dismissing their concerns about the relationship
If your significant other is upset about something in your relationship, you need to pay attention. Talk about it.
Ask them what’s wrong and be sure to make that issue important. If you don’t, it’ll just expand until it’s big enough to cause a breakup.
41. Find ways to do sweet, thoughtful things for each other
Just because you don’t live near each other doesn’t mean you can’t do nice things for each other.
Order your girl some flowers, order your man a pizza with wings and have it delivered. It’s really not hard to get creative and do some sweet things for each other every now and then. [Read: 30 sweet romantic gestures for everyday life]
42. Get your sexting on
Yes, you need to sext or dirty talk over the phone. There needs to be some form of sexual intimacy between the two of you. Remember, you can’t touch each other for a really long time.
Therefore, you need to get a little creative. Touch yourself and then talk to your partner while they’re also touching themselves. It’ll help you two keep the sexual spark alive even if you’re living very far apart. [Read: How to start sexting your lover when you’ve never done it before]
43. Get to know each other’s schedules
If you both know what you have going on during the day, you’ll know when you can connect and talk. It’ll also help get rid of some insecurity if your partner isn’t responding to you.
They could be in a meeting or somewhere they don’t get reception. If you don’t know this, it’ll cause frustration and fighting, which can be more lethal to your relationship since it’s long distance. Talk about your day in the morning so you both know what’s going on. [Read: How to tell how your partner feels and learn to read their mind]
44. Send snail mail
Become pen pals! Not only is this really cute and fun, but it’s also something to look forward to and it’s something that’ll bond you further. It’ll be your little thing as a long distance couple.
Having something like that to bond over can help make your relationship a lot stronger. It’s also really nice to see your partner’s handwriting, too.
45. Keep a positive mindset
If you go into a relationship dreading how it’ll be, you’re setting it up for failure. You’re basically starting it off on a bad note. You need to remain positive. Keep your head in a positive place so you can solve problems easier and work toward a happy relationship.
46. Brace yourself to work hard
This will not be easy. Long distance relationships take a toll and you need to be ready to put forth the effort to make it work. We won’t lie to you. This will be a challenge, but if you know it’s coming, you can better prepare for it by following these tips.
[Read: What is true love? 22 signs of love to know if what you two have is real]
Experiencing and surviving a long distance relationship isn’t easy. But once you’re back together in each other’s arms, you’ll realize how much both of you mean to each other, to survive the test of time and distance amidst all the temptation.
