When you’re in a relationship with someone for a while, it’s normal for the heat to fade away. However, when that happens, it’s also very easy for one or both partners to feel less appreciated, less wanted, and perhaps even less loved. The bottom line is that as humans, we need words of affirmation occasionally.
We need to be told that we’ve loved and that we’re wanted. It perks you up, makes you feel good, and helps to cement the bond between you. Of course, if there’s just one partner doing the affirming and the other sits happily there and taking it, that’s no good either! Words of affirmation need to be given and received in equal measures.
[Read: Are you a giver who’s feeling unappreciated in a relationship?]
You might be wondering what these words of affirmation actually are. Basically, words of affirmation are any words, either written down or spoken, that help another person *usually your partner* to feel loved, supported, uplifted and understood. Words of affirmation are always positive and never negative.
When you use these types of words or statements in the right way, you’re able to not only give love freely and effectively, but receive it too. This helps to create a better relationship and a happier time for all concerned. For some people, words of affirmation need to be a regular thing. This is because they’re part of their individual love language. Let’s talk about that in a bit more detail now.
[Read: The 25 best relationship topics to talk about if you want to be happy]
Your individual love language is how you effectively receive affection from your partner. For instance, you might be someone who responds best to words of affirmation, but your partner might have a totally different love language and they respond better to receiving gifts.
We all receive love in a slightly different way. If you want your relationship to be as optimal and happy as possible, you must know what your love language is, what your partner’s is, and work from there.
You see, if you’re all about words of affirmation, but your partner is about receiving gifts, you might be a little confused as to why they don’t respond in the same way when you tell them that you love them. Of course, they like it, but they don’t respond to it in quite the emotional way that you do.
On the other hand, if you give them a handmade gift, something you know that they will adore, they will probably be overcome with emotion, because you’ve hit their love language right on the head.
[Read: 20 questions to ask your lover to learn everything you need to know]
There are five love languages. They are:
#1 Words of affirmation – Basically saying things to your partner that make them feel good and supported
#2 Acts of service – Doing things for your partner to help them out or make them feel good
#3 Receiving gifts – Receiving small gifts from your partner that show them that you’ve put in time and thought
#4 Quality time – Spending time together doing thoughtful things, or just hanging out
#5 Physical touch – Cuddling, holding hands, sitting close to one another to show love and affection
Now that you know the 5 different love languages and what they are, let’s focus on words of affirmation here. And how you can use words of affirmation to help your partner feel loved and appreciated in the relationship.
[Read: 25 love-filled words to say “I appreciate you” without using words]
If you’re keen to use more words of affirmation in your relationship, it’s important to do this in the right way. Some people may not respond that well to suddenly being told all these wonderful things about themselves; it sounds crazy, but some people feel very uncomfortable with words of affirmation.
If your partner does have that as a love language and you want to incorporate more into your relationship, remember that it’s quality over quantity. Now, if you constantly tell someone that you think they’re great, it’s not going to mean as much as if you send them one very well timed message, or you say it at just the right moment.
[Read: Pillow talk is the best bonding tool for you and your lover]
If you’re keen to ask for more words of affirmation from your partner, one way is to set an example. Give them more words of affirmation and see if that triggers them to do the same for you. By doing this, you’re making it a habit in your relationship that should be reciprocated. If that doesn’t work, just be honest. Without using blaming language or becoming upset, simply explain to your partner that you would love it if they told you how they feel occasionally, because it makes you feel good.
You don’t want to force your partner to do so, if words of affirmation just aren’t their love language, but equally, they should understand that you need this, because it’s part of your love language.
[Read: Feeling unloved in a relationship? How to feel loved and happy again]
Not sure what to say and how to start using words of affirmation? Let’s check out some examples you can start to use.
#1 I love you. This is the ultimate one when it comes to words of affirmation. Telling someone you love them, if you genuinely do, is the single best thing you can say, and it will truly make their day.
#2 I’m so proud of you. Everyone wants someone to feel proud of them and when that person is your partner, it doubles the feeling. Tell your partner that you’re proud of them and wait for their smile. [Read: What does true love feel like? 20 feelings that express it best]
#3 You push me to do better/you make me a better person. When someone tells you that you make them want to be better, it’s like your hard work is paying off. This is a wonderful thing to say to your partner and one of the most special words of affirmation.
#4 I really appreciate what you do for me. Everyone wants a ‘thank you’ occasionally and this is an upgraded version of just that. If your partner does a certain thing for you, tell them how much you appreciate it. [Read: 16 unique ways to show your appreciation for someone you love]
#5 I couldn’t do this without you. Supporting your partner is one of the most important things you can do in a relationship, so when your partner tells you that they couldn’t do all of this without you, it makes you feel strong and invincible.
#6 You look so beautiful. Who doesn’t want to be told they’re beautiful by the person they care about the most? Make sure you make eye contact when you’re saying it to add true authenticity.
#7 I love how you always try your best. This is another way of saying that you appreciate what someone does for you. Tell your partner one of the things you find most attractive about them is how hard they try.
#8 I really value how hard you work for us. Another way of showing gratitude – you can never show enough! Sometimes we become complacent and just take whatever someone regularly gives to us, especially in a relationship. These words of affirmation make sure that your partner knows it’s all worthwhile and you truly appreciate it.
#9 I feel so lucky to be with you. Being told that the other person feels lucky to you have you in their life is a wonderful feeling. It shows that you’re truly loved and appreciated. [Read: How to show your appreciation to someone you love]
#10 You make me feel safe and happy. We all want the best for our partner and that means we want them to feel loved, happy, and safe. When your partner tells you this, it gives you that warm glow, telling you that you’re doing well.
#11 I love it when you smile. A smile is a disarming thing which can change how someone feels. It’s also the most beautiful part of someone. Tell your partner that you love their smile and wait for it to appear!
#12 What did I do before you came into my life? Again, this is affirmation that they’re key to your happiness and that you love the fact that they’ve graced you with their presence. It’s a wonderful thing to say and goes well with “I love you”.
#13 I love how you make me laugh. When you make someone laugh, it makes you feel good. When your partner tells you that they love how you make them laugh, the feel-good factor is doubled.
#14 You’re so funny! Everyone wants to be funny and as long as this is said in the right way, e.g., without sarcasm, it’s a great compliment to receive. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship]
#15 I love the life we have together. This statement tells your partner that you are happy where you are with them and that they can feel safe and secure in the relationship. What could be better than that?
#16 You work so hard, you really inspire me. Again, these words of affirmation are a nod towards gratitude, pride, and admiration. These are things that everyone wants to hear more of.
#17 You’re my special one. What could be better than that? You’re special, your partner recognizes it, and you’re the single best person in their life. That’s going to make you smile, for sure!
#18 I’m always here if you need anything. Knowing that your partner is always there for you and has your back is a secure and wonderful feeling. This helps you to go through your life and do what you need to do, safe in the knowledge that you’re never alone. [Read: 13 powerful yet small gestures that show love in the biggest way]
#19 I love your genuine kindness. Kindness is a trait which is often overlooked these days. When someone you care about points out how much they love this trait, it helps you to feel warm and fuzzy inside.
#20 Just seeing you makes my day better. To know that your presence has made someone happy and uplifted is a great feeling! To be told is even better.
[Read: How to become a better communicator in your relationship]
These words of affirmation should help you to make your partner feel happier and more loved, while also encouraging them to do the same for you!
Looking for more ways to show your love to your partner, and make them happy? Try these:
25 easy but powerful tips to make your boyfriend happy every single day
20 heartfelt ways to make your girlfriend feel loved and really happy
The 25 sweetest gestures for everyday life that guarantees a happy relationship
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