Whether it’s a long or short-term relationship, recently, things have shifted. These are the things to do when you’re feeling unloved in a relationship.
When it comes to relationships, falling in love is the easy part. Two people choosing to come together with its challenges. Of course, there will be times when we feel unloved in a relationship or not as close as we want to be. This doesn’t mean your partner is cheating on you *even though we like to assume the worst*. If you have kids, a stressful job, or major life changes, it’s easy to let your relationship slide into the backseat.
Feeling unloved in a relationship doesn’t mean it’s time to call it quits. But it is a warning sign that you should communicate and reunite as a team.
So, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves; if anything, this is a chance to reawaken the connection between you two and get on the same page. Hollywood movies make love look so easy, don’t they?
The 11 steps you need to take when feeling unloved in a relationship
Anyway, it’s time to know the things you can do when you’re feeling unloved in your relationship. Here’s how you can turn it around.
#1 Stop, wait a minute. But really – stop. Just take a breath. When you’re feeling unloved in a relationship, it can feel like your world is falling apart. But you need to calm down and be kind to yourself. Yes, you’re feeling these emotions, but they will pass. [Read: Am I unloved? The one thing you need to know when you feel unloved]
#2 Assess your own feelings. You’re the one who’s feeling these emotions. So, the first thing you need to do is to focus and analyze them. Why are you feeling like this? What’s bothering you? Have you been feeling like this for long, or is this a recent emotion?
#3 Talk to your partner. If you can’t talk to your partner about this, who else can you talk to? This relationship is a two-way street, meaning your partner needs to understand how you’re feeling. From there, you can communicate and see what’s going on with you and the relationship. [Read: 5 tips for choosing the right words to talk to your partner]
#4 But really communicate. If you want to find out what’s going on in your relationship, talking to your partner is the only way to do so. When I say communicate, I don’t just mean you say how you’re feeling, and you leave it at that. I mean, you two need to dig deep and share what you’re both feeling. If you’re feeling unloved in a relationship, you can’t tiptoe around it.
#5 Be direct with your feelings. This isn’t the time to play coy and beat around the bush. You need to be direct with your feelings when talking to your partner. They can’t read your mind, and you can’t read their mind. Who knows, maybe they’re feeling the same. What’s important is you don’t hide anything from them. [Read: 14 little details that’ll make you a way better communicator in love]
#6 Make a plan together. So, you sat down and spoke with your partner about how you’re feeling unloved in a relationship with them. Now you know how they’re feeling and vice versa. Now, what?
It’s time to make a plan of how you will together improve the situation. Do you want to have a weekly date night? Don’t use your phone two hours before bed? Whatever you two decide, make sure it’s done together. [Read: How to compromise in your relationship]
#7 Try to see your partner’s point-of-view. You and your partner are in a relationship, right? It’s not just you or them. This means you need to listen to your partner’s point of view. They may see something that you don’t see or suggest a solution to the issue. Your partner wants to fix this as much as you do.
#8 The loneliness may exist only in yourself. There could be a chance that the loneliness you’re feeling is only existing in yourself. If your partner has expressed they’re feeling loved in the relationship; you need to do some soul searching. Your internal issues could reflect how you feel in your relationship.
#9 Try relationship counseling. It’s not necessarily going to be easy to solve this with your partner. Maybe you can’t see each other’s point of view or don’t know what steps to take. Seeing a relationship counselor can help guide you in the right direction *everyone needs a little guidance now and then* when feeling unloved in a relationship.
#10 Be patient. It’s not easy prioritizing your relationship, especially when you and your partner are living busy lives. Though it’s entirely possible, it’ll take time. I know, I know, I’m not patient either, but change doesn’t happen overnight; it’s a slow turn. [Read: How to find and focus on the right priority in your relationship]
#11 Get comfortable with loneliness. If you feel unloved by your partner because they’re ignoring you, that’s one thing. But if you’re feeling unloved even when your partner is showing you consistent affection and kindness, then this is an internal issue. You need to confront your loneliness and the feelings of being unloved in a relationship.