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Lack of Communication in a Relationship & Why It Signals the End

Lack of communication in a relationship is a sign the end is near. If you want to save your relationship, it’s time to open up and start talking!

lack of communication in a relationship

Without communication, we really don’t have much. Do you agree? And a lack of communication in a relationship is particularly harmful.

Communication allows us to interact with other people, give instructions or orders, express our feelings, and explain our intentions. When you take all of that away, we’re just people wandering around the planet without much to offer.

Communication is vital in every single facet of life, from family life to work, friendships to relationships. The latter, in my opinion, is even more important than any other when it comes to the need for clear and honest communication.

Relationships basically mean that we’re trusting another person with our heart. We’re basically handing it to them on a plate and saying, “Hey, look after this for me, and please don’t drop it or accidentally stand on it please.” Sometimes they drop it, intentionally or unintentionally, but either way, you feel it like a physical pain.

So, something with the potential to cause so much pain and heartache should be taken seriously. With that in mind, you can understand why a lack of communication in a relationship can be so hugely damaging.

[Read: How to fix a lack of communication in your relationship]

Why do you need to clearly communicate with your partner?

When I say ‘communication’ from this point on, I’m not really talking about asking your partner to remember to do the dishes, or asking them where they want to go for dinner. I mean communicating your feelings, your wants, your needs, your desires, and in turn, listening to the same from them.

You see, many people forget that communication is a two way deal. Too many people like the sound of their own voice. It’s all ‘blah, blah, blah’ and all you hear is white noise. It all gets lost in the cacophony of babble and you can’t get a word in edge-ways. [Read: Mars and Venus? 13 most common gender differences in communication]

In a relationship, communication is vital for the following reasons:

– It helps us express ourselves when we’re upset about something

– Communication allows us to tell our partner how much we care

– It helps us clarify something which might be causing our partner pain or confusion

– And communication allows us to compromise and find middle ground, without one person having it all their own way

The list goes on.

[Read: 10 ways to be a better listener in your relationship]

You cannot have a relationship without communication, and not any old communication either; it has to be good communication which includes listening to the other person as much as you’re talking.

When partners stop communicating, it really is like the death bell ringing.

It’s a sign that you don’t care enough to fight for the relationship anymore, you’ve given up, you know they don’t care about your feelings so you’ve stopped expressing them, or you can’t be bothered to give them the time of day because you don’t feel respected enough or like you’re a priority in their life.

The list of reasons can continue, but the outcome is the same. A lack of communication in a relationship is a huge issue. Without rectifying this, the relationship won’t last. [Read: The 14 telling signs it’s time to give up on the relationship]

What causes a lack of communication in a relationship?

A million different things can cause two people to stop communicating, but it’s not usually a good sign either way. For instance, stress in someone’s life can cause them to bottle things up and stop talking to those around them. They become stuck in their own little world, and as a result, nobody is really sure what is going on. That means their partner can worry that they’ve done something wrong, but when they ask, they’re told there’s nothing wrong.

In that situation, we’re talking about what will hopefully be a temporary lack of communication. This is a response to a stressful situation which will probably pass and then normal service will be resumed.

However, when the lack of communication continues, the trouble really begins. [Read: 10 communication techniques to get anyone to open up to you]

In this case, prolonged communication issues are usually down to trust problems, one person *or both* simply don’t feel the same anymore, unfaithfulness, or issues in the relationship which have never been resolved.

Over time, these problems simply cause us to stop speaking to one another, to simply go about our own business. We’ve lost the fight, we don’t see the point in trying anymore. Or, it could be that you’re hurt from something which has happened but you’re not getting the response you wanted or hoped for. Instead of hitting your head against a brick wall, you give up and mentally check out of the relationship and amble through your days.

Eventually something will give, and that will be your relationship.

[Read: A guide for effective communication in a relationship]

How to solve a lack of communication in a relationship

If you want to rectify the problem, acknowledge it – both of you. And to do it, you must communicate!

Ironic, isn’t it?

If you have identified that you have a real lack of communication in your relationship, the only way to turn the situation around is to start communicating once more. You probably had perfectly fine communication previously, so you know you can do it!

Sit your partner down and tell them how you feel. Tell them that you’re concerned that you’re just not communicating with each other anymore. Explain that you’re aware it’s not one sided, and that it’s both of you, but you don’t want it to be this way. You want to make things better. [Read: How stonewalling in a relationship will ruin something precious]

You might not get a response to this straightaway, and that’s something to be prepared for. Your partner might need to go away and think it through for themselves, to identify their own reasons for their personal lack of communication with you.

This is good in many ways. When you regroup and actually get down to talking about it, the conversation will be enriched as a result. It gives you a far better chance of salvaging the relationship. [Read: Communication exercises and the easy games to help you communicate better]

What to do when you can’t communicate

If communication simply doesn’t change despite tackling the problem head on, or your partner refuses to acknowledge there is a problem at all, I’m afraid it’s time to sit down and seriously think about your future in this union.

No relationship lasts without open and honest communication. This doesn’t have to be a constant drip of words throughout the day. It means talking about the important things in your lives and relationship. If this isn’t happening, it basically means that you’re not connected. If you’re not connected, where is the love? Where is the emotion? It’s gone, quite possibly somewhere else, I’m afraid. [Read: Lack of communication and the little steps you need to take to make it better]

When your partner mentally checks out of the relationship, there is no turning back. If you’ve tried to solve the issue and received a brick wall for your efforts, wave goodbye and walk away. You cannot and should not be in a relationship which doesn’t allow you to express your emotions or your worries. Indeed, you should also be able to express your joy and the things which went on in your day. This is what keeps a relationship alive!

Not being able to communicate in a relationship means there is no real respect on the other side. Is that what you really want?

[Read: The 15 signs it’s time to break up, even if it is hard]

A lack of communication in a relationship is a dire sign that there is something very wrong. It’s not always the end of the road, but it does require effort on both sides to turn the situation around.

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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