Relationships can cause anxiety for a number of different reasons. You’re trusting someone with your heart and that’s really scary. That being said, if they live super far away, you may end up having long distance relationship anxiety that can take a toll on both of you.
It’s never fun to have anxiety. Even if it can be normal at first, experiencing it in long-term can be detrimental to your happiness as a couple. For that reason, you really have to figure out how to get rid of it so you can actually enjoy being with your significant other.
The more anxious you are, the harder it’ll be to maintain a happy relationship
This is just the reality of a long distance relationship. You have to be able to trust your partner and deal with them not being around much. Being uptight and insecure about things, which is caused by the anxiety, puts a damper on the whole thing.
You’ll argue more and when you’re in a long-distance relationship, any argument is made a lot bigger because of the distance. So if you truly want to make this relationship last a long time, you have to figure out how to get rid of that lingering anxiety and tension. [Read: How to get over insecurity in relationships]
How to get rid of long distance relationship anxiety
It’s hard. I’m not going to lie. It’ll take a while before you’re able to move past it completely but making an effort here is really important. Think about how much your relationship means to you and fight to move beyond this obstacle stopping you from achieving happiness with the one person you love more than anything. Then follow these tips.
#1 Determine the underlying cause. Why are you feeling this way in the first place? It can’t just be because your significant other is living far away. Anxiety is almost always rooted in fear.
But what are you so afraid of? Do you think they’ll cheat on you? Are you insecure in the strength of your bond? Knowing why you feel this way can actually help you find a solution that’ll calm your nerves. [Read: 20 mistakes to stop making when you have relationship anxiety]
#2 Talk to each other about it. Once you figure out why you’re so anxious, talk to your partner about it. Tell them your fears and just work it out together. You can’t get past something like this by yourself. You’re a team and you have to act like it – especially if you’re in a long-distance relationship.
#3 Get your expectations out on the table. What do you want out of this relationship? Better yet, what do you need from your partner in order to get rid of this long distance relationship anxiety?
When you talk to each other and figure out what one another needs, you can avoid the anxiety altogether. Just remember that unrealistic expectations will only make your relationship worse, so think long and hard about it.
#4 Communicate regularly and religiously. This is crucial in any relationship, but especially for long distance ones. You have to be talking and telling each other how you feel about basically everything. Even if you think a concern of your is trivial, mention it anyways. Pent-up unhappiness can ruin your relationship. [Read: How to fix a lack of communication in a relationship]
#5 Have “date nights.” Obviously, you can’t do this in person but it’s important to spend as much “quality time” together as you possibly can. That means having video chats while you both watch the same movie or scheduling time for intimate phone calls and the like.
Make this a priority because you have to have some level of intimacy even if you’re living really far away from each other. Just like you’d have date nights in person, have them virtually.
#6 Stop comparing your relationship. You’ll be tempted to compare your relationship to the ones you see in real life since your partner is miles and miles away. You can’t do this.
When you compare, you’ll be unhappy no matter what because those other couples aren’t in your position. Doing this will constantly push you further and further from your partner and you can’t have that. [Read: Easy ways to stop comparing your relationship]
#7 Ask your partner for help. If you’re feeling some long distance relationship anxiety, you need to ask for help. Your significant other might feel completely fine and not nervous or tense at all. This might make things even harder for you.
You may feel odd telling them you need some help simply because they’re doing just fine. But don’t. If you need help, tell them so you can actually get back to a great place together. You’re a team. When one member needs help, the other swoops in.
#8 See each other as much as you can. You have to make this a priority in your life. That means financially and with your time. Make an effort to visit as much as you can because face-to-face intimacy is still needed to make your relationship work. It’ll also help ease some of that anxiety, too.
#9 Video chat randomly. You don’t have to stick to your set times and then not chat any other times. Just call him up randomly and have a video chat. This will help with the normalcy of seeing each other when you want, even if it’s only over a phone or computer. [Read: Long distance pillows and other LDR essentials]
#10 Never hold it inside. Believe me, I know how tempting it is. When you’re struggling, you may not want your partner to see because you don’t want to worry them, too. The thing is, that’ll only make it worse.
You have to speak up and tell them when something is upsetting you and when it comes to anxiety, it’s a must. Holding it inside will only make it fester. The last thing anxiety needs is time for you to think and develop that anxiety even further.
#11 Get professional help. You might not be able to conquer anxiety on your own. Oftentimes, long-distance relationship anxiety can come about because you have generalized anxiety to begin with. If this is the case, speaking to a healthcare professional or even a psychologist can help immensely. [Read: 10 signs you need relationship counseling to save your love]
#12 Trust your significant other. This is the biggest thing and often the hardest. You have to trust that they won’t hurt you. Long distance relationships require this so much more since they’re so far and can really do anything they want because you won’t be there to catch them.
The point is, you need to trust that they won’t. If they truly care about you and you do them, this will be easy. If you find you have trust problems, you should seek help to correct it ASAP.
[Read: 10 survival tips for every long distance relationship]
In order to get over your long distance relationship anxiety, you have to remember you’re a team. With two people tackling this issue, it’ll get resolved in no time.
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