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The Art of Edging: 6 Sizzling Ways to Control Your Orgasms


Do you know that thing called edging and how it can give you explosive orgasms? Here are some methods to help you get the most out of it.

When it comes to sex, most people want to experience the best. The best being the longest, hottest, and most intoxicating ride of their life. And what better way to achieve that than with a mind-blowing orgasm?

But how does one achieve it and is it even possible to have one that makes your brain fall out of your head? *Metaphorically, speaking that is* Well, the answer may lie in what experts call edging.

What is edging?

Edging is orgasm control. It is also called peaking or surfing. With those terminologies on the table, one can assume it is about manipulating one’s orgasm to the point of unbridled ecstasy.

It is done by stimulating yourself to the point right before orgasm and maintaining that state of arousal using different methods. When you’ve practiced it enough times, you can thoroughly experience the benefits of edging which is simply one big climax.

Mind you, this is not your regular orgasm that hits you like a train and then leaves you with your head hanging off the bed and your tongue lolling out. Nope. The orgasm that edging allows is one that gives you mini seizures and uncontrollable whole-body spasms.

Relax, because this will not lead to a medical emergency—most of the time. It’s actually just a powerful feeling pushing your nerve endings to the pinnacle of extreme sexual pleasure.

It can be performed alone or with a partner, but the best results can be achieved only if you are fully aware of what’s happening to your body. Some people might be able to pinpoint when their partner is about to climax, which allows them to perform edging on their partner almost perfectly. Others might not be so lucky, especially if their partner is prone to faking their enthusiastic responses in bed. [Read: 10 easy tips for women who want a mind blowing orgasm]

How do you perform edging on women?

There are a variety of methods one can use to perform edging, but the easiest would be with the use of the clitoris. A G-spot orgasm is just stimulation of the inner parts of the clitoris through the vaginal wall, so the external part would be a better marker to get you started.

You can perform edging using your conventional stimulating methods like rubbing and licking, but you have to know when to moderate your movements. Stimulating yourself too much can lead to a quick orgasm, while stimulating yourself too little would end up pushing you to an early refractory period without the orgasm *the refractory period is when you have to build yourself up to an orgasm again*.

You can try for a G-spot orgasm, but the sensitivity of your vaginal walls partnered with vulval stimulation can make it hard to control the extent of your orgasm. If you’d like to practice edging using that area, you can ask your partner to try it or you can use a vibrator or dildo instead. [Read: Clitoris stimulation – 10 sexy ways to please the clitoris the right way]

Edging techniques

As we’ve mentioned, edging is not limited to a few strokes on your nether regions. There are a variety of methods you can use to experience edging, with or without a partner. Here are some of the most commonly used and also some new ones for the more experimental individuals.

#1 Old faithful. This is your run-of-the-mill clitoris-only stimulation. What you do is masturbate or ask your partner to touch you until you feel like you’re about to burst. Once you’re at that point, slow down and continue to rub the clitoris with less pressure. Be careful, because this is a delicate state. Any excessive movement will cause you to orgasm prematurely, but not enough could end up killing the sensation.

Note that you cannot continue to stimulate it using one speed. You have to increase it again to the point before orgasm and then turn it down a notch again. Do this over and over until it’s impossible to control anymore.

Once you’re ready, go to town and rub that one out until your eyes roll back in your head. By that point, the edging you’ve done will have been enough to elicit an orgasm that’s more powerful than the ones that you’re used to. [Read: 10 female masturbation tips for orgasmic bliss]

#2 Using lube. Assuming you didn’t need to use lube using the first method, doing so now will be much more pleasurable because of the slick and smooth feeling it gives. It helps stimulate your clitoris faster, which is a good thing for women who need a bit more time to get into the mood.

#3 Using a vibrator. The tricky part about using a vibrator is that the sensations you feel will be significantly more intense than it would have been using your hands or your partner’s hands. A good tip, when using a vibrator for edging would be to use a low setting or a vibrator that doesn’t gyrate or have only one setting.

#4 Dry humping. This method is quite useful for the more adventurous individuals. An over-the-pants edging session might take longer, but those who prefer doing it in locations where there is a greater risk of getting caught might be able to climax faster, if necessary. The best place to try this would be in your car. Nothing illegal about scratching down there, right? But just to be sure, check with your lawyer! [Read: Dry humping and the art of slow and powerful orgasms]

#5 During sex. The easiest way to do this with someone else, i.e., a penis in your vagina, would be to communicate your status honestly and clearly. Faking is not an option, if you want to make the most out of edging.

Before doing this with your partner, talk about how you’re going to do it and what you’re expecting. This is helpful in finding out how you and your partner can perform edging together because it’s different for every person. The methods may be the same, but the speed of stimulation, the location, and the technique will inevitably vary.

Once you’re at the point before climax, tell your partner. Tell them how you’re feeling and whether or not it’s working. If it’s not, you can always try again. That’s more than half the fun anyway. [Read: Simultaneous orgasms – 19 things you need to know about it]

#6 During oral sex. Again, the best way to perform this would be to instruct your partner and guide them along the way. To make yourself feel less like a drill sergeant barking orders, try to infuse some dirty talk into the process. It might make things a little hotter, especially if you’re the type who responds to sound, so try not to sound too enthusiastic when you’re not yet ready to climax.

[Read: How long should sex last? The real score!]

It’s going to take some time to perform edging the right way, and it might even take some time to experience it the best way for you and your partner. But with these six edging tips, you will be on your way!

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Danielle Anne
Danielle Anne
Those who can’t do, teach. I can neither do nor teach as well as others, but I can try. Aside from being a writer, I am also a physical therapist. My dream is...
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3 thoughts on “The Art of Edging: 6 Sizzling Ways to Control Your Orgasms”

  1. Vennie says:

    Let me vent out a little bit. I have an amazing boyfriend, and we used to have sex all the time, but now that has waned to once a month if I’m lucky. He finally acknowledges that there is a problem, but still doesn’t like my suggestion of sex therapy, or any number of other options. When I suggest that we try something he is comfortable with, I get nothing. So basically, he hasn’t done much up to now in the way of trying to address the issue that is going on over two years now. Even though he’ll make token gestures when I get really frustrated, there’s never any real follow through, so I don’t trust that there will be change. When we do have sex, it’s typically a full body mind-blowing amazing session. He’s creative, and attentive. He wishes I would let him go down on me more (what girl has that problem?). It just doesn’t do much for me since hand play and penetrative sex is what turns me on. So, I want to reinforce that he is caring, generous, and fantastic in bed. Where the problem arises is that, when we do have sex, he hates when I “take control of my orgasm”. If I guide his hand to where it feels better, or lead us to positions that I prefer, or focus on me a bit more, he gets annoyed and turned off. What drives him especially nuts is if I don’t allow myself to explore the possibility of orgasming multiple times during one session because he knows I am capable of that. Since we only have sex, at most, once a month, I like to make sure the orgasm I do have is cuckoo bananas awesome. If I orgasm too early, it’s not very satisfying, and there is no guarantee I’ll be able to build to the second, more full body gratifying orgasm. And after he orgasms, he doesn’t take the time to finish me off if I haven’t cum. Orgasming EVERY time isn’t necessarily important since it’s always great, but if it’s been that long, I definitely want to try and get there. As a result, I delay and build it up. I’d absolutely be willing to explore and just go with it if we were having sex regularly (which I would love to do), but that clearly isn’t happening any time soon. Anyway, I am kind of at a loss as to how to navigate this in a way that he won’t be offended and won’t get defensive. I feel like I’m being pretty patient and understanding with everything, and it’s not much to ask for, but maybe I need to do this his way too? Am I being selfish, is he? Maybe. I don’t know who is “in the right” or “wrong” and I kind of don’t care as long as we can both walk away from this with a better understanding (and great sex). I’m so sorry this was such a long comment. I am just frustrated and tired and upset, and wanted to paint a full picture.

  2. gotyou says:

    I greatly enjoy denying him orgasm – it puts him in an intensely submissive mindset. However there is a fine balance: too few orgasms and he becomes distressed and his day-to-day ability to function suffers, but too many and he tends to get cocky and forget himself and his position as my property. He has been allowed to cum 2 to 3 times a week, which is much less than he would if left to his own devices. He begs for permission to edge, as he does not enjoy denial of he cannot relieve some of that sexual energy, and I allow him to edge regularly, sometime up to three times a day. As my ownership of him goes on, however, he has become more and more distressed with the rate of orgasm and it is beginning to effect his sleep (too horny and thinking about sex and cumming to fall asleep), as well as every idle moment to the point were he is unhappy – he wants to be good for me, but he is distressed that he cannot think of anything but sex and is too distracted to code or sleep be creative in any other way. After his longest no-cum period yet (5 days), he woke up in the night and found himself so frustrated with being unable to fall back asleep that he began crying (I allowed him to cum, and he fell asleep quite happily). This situation is not healthy, and I clearly need to find a better way to control his orgasms – He craves control, and I enjoy controlling him, but I haven’t managed to find the best long term method. I need to find a way that allows him more frequent orgasms when he needs them, but not too many… Which is a difficult number to define since sometimes he seems to be able to quite happily handle 2 orgasms in a week, several days apart, while other times he’s still horny to the point of distraction even after being permitted to cum 3 days in a row! How do you ladies handle orgasm control? I’m considering instituting a means by which he can earn an orgasm if he really feels he needs one, but I I can’t decide what I should have him do. I’d love to hear any suggestions, or anything else you’ve enjoyed for orgasm control. Need a way for my 24/7 pet to earn orgasms that leaves me in control, and allows him to release tension when his horniness is becoming a detriment to his daily functioning.

  3. baby you got it says:

    I have tried talking to my boyfriend about this a lot over the past two years without sounding frustrated or annoyed or accusatory, and in different ways. There have been a handful of times I’ve lost my cool because I can’t get through. Obviously not the dream, but it gets hard after this long sometimes. I totally hear you about not wanting to be sneaky, but at the same time find different ways to communicate that might help us get to a better understanding of each other. I am absolutely in that camp. We have had sexy experimental nights where we talk and delve into potential fantasies the other person has, but nothing “sticks” if that makes sense. And honestly, 99% of the time it’s AMAZING. I think the big problem is we are both alpha control freaks. I recognize this. He, however, holds on to this notion that he’s some laid back dude, which is only true on the very surface. So while other people see him that way if they know him socially, he’s not like that behind closed doors, so he’s essentially able to lie to himself. I’ve told him that I’m fine with it and can handle that in other parts of our relationship because he happens to be an uber thoughtful, loving, caring dude, but I draw the line with it carrying over to him dictating my orgasms. I’ve even gone so far to ask him what got him turned on when we were first just sleeping together without being in a relationship, and he said it was because he was talking to other girls and going out on dates and whatnot. Figuratively priming the pump. My response- GO DO THAT AGAIN! I trust that my boyfriend loves me and is dedicated to me, and I’m frankly not worried that he would leave me for someone else. I just want us both to have satisfying sex lives. Both of us are most concerned about each other’s happiness. He nor I have followed through yet on fooling around with other people, but he and I both recognize that open/honest communication is key when/if we do. The health of our relationship is a top priority, so we want to take it slowly so we aren’t ultimately compromising our future together, and we’ll test the waters carefully. Basically, I feel like we’re lucky to have found such open people in each other. If I’m able to communicate a concern, he’s one of the most diligent hard workers I know, he makes every attempt to adjust. But for some reason, this issue of sex, he’s not willing to put it any tangible work or effort to fix our problems. It’s all talk at this point.

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