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How to Start a Conversation with a Girl

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How to talk to a girl for the first time, without making it look like you’re hitting on her? It’s easy to learn how to start a conversation with a girl as long as you know the basic steps. Find out here.

Before you figure how to start a conversation with a girl, click here to read the introduction on how to attract women because quite frankly, there’s just no great conversations without the spark of attraction!

how to start a conversation with a girl

How to start a conversation with a girl?

Many men have tried and tried really hard. And most of those men have failed miserably.

Starting a conversation with a girl is not really as hard as most men claim it to be.

It’s simple and can be a lot of fun if you really understand the basic ground rule. Women are not monsters. And men don’t really need to fear them.

[Read: Tips to make a girl fall for you without asking her out]

Women like men just as much as men like women.

After all, in most normal circumstances, opposite sexes do attract each other. And it’s always flattering when someone of the opposite sex starts a conversation with you, isn’t it?

Do you ever wonder how to start a conversation with a girl?

What do you think about? A cool pick up line, or maybe a very confident walk up followed by some smooth talking? Well, it could work.

But in most cases, those moves fail. And they fail miserably.

Really then, how to start a conversation with a girl?

Here’s the simple part. Women are tired of being “picked up” all the time. If you’re talking about a gorgeous woman who’d have men trailing her all the time, she’d probably hate pick up lines and smooth talkers. Smooth talking is good, but it’s never a good way to start a conversation.

How would you start a conversation with a man? With a simple “hello” or a “hi”, right?

Think along the same lines when you talk to a girl. Don’t try to pick up a girl, try to start a conversation with a girl instead. And she’ll appreciate it. [Read: How to ask a girl out if you're shy]

When is it a good time to make a move?

One of the best ways to have a successful conversation with a girl, is by not surprising her all of a sudden. Many men make the mistake of walking straight up to a girl and saying something to her. In such cases, the girl may be so startled that she may instinctively turn you down without even getting a second to think about you as a person.

You wouldn’t want that, would you? [Read: How to get a girl to like you before talking to her]

The sudden pick up may work now and then, but there are always safer and more easier methods if you want to know how to start a conversation with a woman.

Let her know you exist. Look at her now and then, warm her up to the act, and let her know that you intend to walk up and say hello to her, eventually.

That way, if she reciprocates your stares, she’s anticipating you and wondering when you’re going to walk up and say hello! This would actually build up the excitement and make her wait for you instead. See, this can actually work a lot better because you’re creating an interest before starting a conversation.

And because of that, this is one of the best ways to start a conversation with a girl.

Scenarios on starting a conversation with a girl

Now that you know the basic rules on how to start a conversation with a girl and how to warm her up even before talking, let’s take a look at a few common scenarios and strategies you can use when you may bump into a beautiful girl.

Conversation Strategy: Gentleman in distress

Even big, strong men like you would have their tough times, where you would have to play the “gentleman in distress” part. For instance, let’s assume you want to know how to start a conversation with a girl at the supermarket.

You’re at a supermarket  and you have no idea where to pick up all the ingredients to make a chicken stroganoff. What do you do now?

Scenario 1: Ditch that idea. What were you thinking anyways? Don’t you have pizzas and beer in the freezer?!!

Scenario 2: Start a conversation with a girl shopping in the store, and ask the pretty girl to help you out with your shopping. [Read: How to touch a girl and make her like it!]

I hope you picked Scenario 2. You know why, because the pizzas and the beer can’t get any worse. Your raging hormones on the other hand can.

Anyways, believe it or not, the shopping girl would love to help you shop, and she would also love to give you her secret recipe to make it taste even better. This is true unless she’s wearing a T-Shirt that says “My cooking sucks, but thankfully so do I”, in which case you’ve struck gold anyways. You could even ask her to help you cook the meal and join you for lunch, and whatever that follows.

There’s always something that gives a girl a good feeling about a man who accepts that he is terrible in doing something and needs her help… maybe it’s his helplessness that draws her. Or maybe she’s just into male-bashing.

But in all cases, women love to mould men. So if you look helpless and lost, she’s want to help you even more. [Read: How to charm a girl into liking you]

The next time you go shopping for clothes alone, make it a point to ask the pretty maiden shopping by herself (if you ever find one shopping by herself!) if the shirt you just tried looks good on you. Be sincere and try not to look like a prick with a wide toothy grin when you ask her that.

Remember, you’re trying to start a conversation with a girl here. So be warm and absolutely genuine. Chances are she may even help you pick a nice tee for yourself (so what if it was a two grand designer sweatshirt at the end of the month). And you could always ask her out for a coffee so you can thank her for helping you.

[Read: How to tell if a girl likes you]

How to start a conversation with a girl the nice way!

The world is full of opportunities to meet wonderful women, and start a beautiful relationship with them. It is said that opportunity knocks only once, but if you want to, you can find endless ways to create perfect opportunities for yourself.

The most important fact that you should understand is this. You would be most successful in meeting girls if you behave like “you”. Don’t try to pretend to be someone else, the girl would definitely know that you’re faking it, either in the very first minute or by the fifth, which does not help you in any way.

A girl is attracted to your personality more than anything else (a theory made by ugly men, which does seem true by the way). If you seem confident and charming and approach the woman in a very pleasant manner, she would be pleased to have met someone who has the courtesy to appreciate her company.

So, what are you waiting for, sugar? Go on… you know how to start a conversation with a girl, so go on and talk your way into that cute girl’s heart. But use these tips on how to talk to a girl to make the perfect impression.


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Have your say!
  • July 25, 2010 | Permalink |

    I have never had a problem related to conversation with girls. I was in a class with 24 girls and 2 boys in the high school. Another fact is that I have philosophy degree, I try to understand them, listen to them and back up thoughts of their friends. As well I am completely illogical which is my womanizer power.

  • David
    August 26, 2010 | Permalink |

    Need advice asap! I moved in yesterday and one of my room mates is a girl. She is very pretty, and as I was leaving( because I spent the night at my new place) I ran into her. My natural reaction was that I said hi to her but that’s just it. She was very very pretty, and because of this I froze up. Please help!

  • Ringo
    August 26, 2010 | Permalink |

    @David, you did the right thing. You did say Hi! So that wasnt bad at all. You know, hitting on a girl isn’t like it’s done in the movies. You have to take it one step at a time. I mean, she is your roomie, so you wouldn’t want to rush into things and make things uncomfortable. The next time you meet her, say “how are you” and perhaps, also ask her how her day was, and nothing more. Don’t spend too much time.. save conversations for later too, by warming her up one step at a time. Cheers!

  • Carol
    August 27, 2010 | Permalink |

    Nice Tips! I’m a girl and I think this is a very sweet and gentlemanly way to approach women. And David, you’re on the right path. Take it slow. You really don’t have to rush it. I would definitely like a guy who makes a move on me this way…

  • October 4, 2010 | Permalink |

    I love the strategy Gentleman in Distress, it really works! ;)

  • Blade
    January 14, 2012 | Permalink |

    Im fourteen and there is this girl in my biology class who liked me at one point
    But I don’t think she does now. All the girls on her cheer leading team
    Think I’m nice/ cute but I can’t seem to get her I need some help please

  • Jacob
    May 7, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’ve been in love with a really nice Christian girl for about a year now and I see her usually 2-3 times a week at Bible Study, Youth Group, and Church. I am really shy and have trouble starting good conversations..The problem is, I cannot apply any of the strategies described here to see if she likes me or not because she is an amazingly nice person, and seems to react to everyone like she does to me. We are both 17 years old but we live in different parts of town. The fear that I like someone who does not like me has given me heartache for the whole year and has severely impacted my studies. How can I see if she likes me back without jeopardizing the friendly (albeit quiet) relationship we have now?

  • Jimmy
    May 12, 2012 | Permalink |

    Im in my 3ed year in college and recently i’ve been having a crush on a girl in her end of her 1st year ! in other words im 2 years older than her ! I see her like 4-3 times a week ! And its all like , i hang out with my friends at the car park @ college n see her hangin out with her friends by her friend’s car! And all what happens is just eye contact! I can’t really tell if she’s lookin at me ! cuz usually she stands far away from where i hang out ! but sometimes i feel she does n sometimes i feel she doesn’t look at me at all! I see her ALOT outside college , i’ve seen her at a comedy show, i’ve seen her at Starbucks i’ve seen her in other few places! She’s all what i think about ! n everyday i keep thinkin of how to be able to reach her in a non-creepy way ! All wht fears me the most is , her freakin out if i talked to her. And im tryin to follow what you’ve mentioned above by making repetitive eye contact ! but i realised if i continue eye contacting her , yeah she will eye contact me back but she’ll never prove anything else since she’s deeply shy! Earlier i found her facebook profile (was in the suggestion list) n we had 9 mutual friends , im not sure if i should message her or add her yet? i really need all the help i can get to make her talk to me ! So what do u think is the perfect thing to do here ?

  • Afsanoor Islam
    August 17, 2012 | Permalink |

    Its been about 10 days in my new college. And I saw this girl at Botany classes, i instantly took a liking on her. She is by far the cutest girl i’ve ever seen…and i have gotten attracted to her.. But, i’m still stuck on how to start a conversation.. Oh yes ! I’m shy around girls……

  • October 17, 2012 | Permalink |

    The shopping trick works like a dream. Girls love to shop and it is an easy way for a shy guy like me to have plenty to talk about. I can just keep asking endless questions about what to buy or what does what. Eventually you get comfortable enough to talk like your normal self. I really try not to focus on the fact that I am attracted to a girl or that she is a looker. Most girls like the fact that you don’t treat them like a piece of meat.

  • Joseph
    May 26, 2013 | Permalink |

    There is a girl i love so much in my computer school, we are of the same age, and she is really beautifull. I think she is also intrested in me am not dat sure but i think she does. Most of the time its me her n a guy dat is much younger dan we do in the classroom nd things will just look boring nd she really gets bored nd i know its my responsibility 2 start a conversation 2 make her lively but the problem is dat am nt gud in starting conversations or keeping a conversation nd its really making it hard 4 me 2 express my mind. Plz tell me what 2 do i reall love her.

  • Solomon nkewise
    December 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    There is a girl in my street i like soo much,and we go same church..she like talking her financial needs to me especially the one beyound my capablility,nd wen i fail she will get her sight turned down on me,i want a way of getting her attention to me and like my natural self…?

  • Walter
    February 4, 2014 | Permalink |

    The situation is like this….

    I go to this supermarket on a daily basis, most of the time. This very nice looking young lady at the checkout counter works there and for a while now i have been noticing things, things other women working behind the checkout counter don’t do. For example..if a customer is in front of me and she is helping him/her, she takes a brief glance at me, i’ve been noticing this and she seems to be doing this each time i go there. When the customer leaves and i’m next, she smiles in a way that to me seems like she is interested in me, and i am also interested in her. But so far i’ve only greeted her each time with a smile, i then say goodbye and i leave. I did get her to smile briefly today when my bankcard wasn’t working and i said ”Maybe i should just get a new one.” it really ain’t particularly funny, but she did smile about it and i think it even was a very brief laugh.

    It could all be in my head, but the way she greets me and smiles at me, i don’t really see her doing the same thing for other customers. Now the hard part….i think it would be good if i say something to her, something totally different than the usual ”Hi” . I was considering of saying ‘ Hi how are you doing today?” but i then figured…she’ll probably say she is doing fine, probably will be somewhat surprised about the question,….but then what? I then kinda assumed that she might say she’s doing good and asking in return how i am doing. I’d love to say ….”i am doing great, because the prettiest lady of this store helped me with my groceries.”. because she truly is very pretty, but i also find that a bit too extreme.

    So yeah…what is a good thing to say to her? The problem is that its pretty crowded in this supermarket most of the time, and chances of more customers standing behind me are pretty big, making a short conversation with her pretty difficult. Last year at this same place they organized something what they called Supermarket Dating, basically they gave you a rose and let you walk around the supermarket, and giving you the chance to spark a conversation with someone that had a rose too. For fun purposes i went there last year, but nothing happened. I still had that rose though, so i went up to a lady at the checkout counter and randomly with a smile on my face gave her that rose. But i did that with no other intentions. If they do this kind of thing again, i could give the rose to her and say something nice and friendly. But there’s no telling if they will organise it again. Anyway….any advice for me? :)

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